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Retsamoreh

Joined March 2012
111 followers

The original box OC. I am harsh but fair, witty but dull, and kind and cruel. Sometimes I cry at puppies, too.

Stories (4)

  • Fluttershy Has Tea With Jesus
    Fluttershy and Jesus drink tea and nothing objectionable happens. Not a trollfic.

    2,556 words · 7,908 views · 519 likes · 27 dislikes
  • Homebound
    A space military captain, who believes that Equestria resides on the legendary, long-lost planet of Earth, attempts to save Twilight and her friends from an incoming invasion that threatens both Equestria and the galaxy while keeping them all sane.
    179,300 words · 3,559 views · 229 likes · 14 dislikes
  • Rarity Has Tea With Jesus
    Rarity has tea with Jesus and absolutely nothing objectionable happens.
    2,867 words · 2,239 views · 166 likes · 17 dislikes
  • Standing Tall
    A young Celestia and Luna, accompanied by several newfound friends, quest across ancient Equestria.
    32,085 words · 417 views · 9 likes · 3 dislikes

Blog Posts (24)


Fluttershy has tea with Jesus and absolutely nothing objectionable happens.

First Published
13th Jul 2012
Last Modified
13th Jul 2012

Comments ( 174 )

#1 · 106w, 12h ago · 5 · 5 ·

"NRRRGH! Yu us3d religion? You used teh almoity lord in a storehy? Heretic!"

#2 · 106w, 12h ago · · ·

Sweet Jesus in a pogo stick...

#4 · 106w, 12h ago · · ·

I'm a cold hearted Athiest, and I enjoyed this story a lot. Very well written.

A :moustache: for you

#5 · 106w, 12h ago · 1 · 1 ·

Me like

#6 · 106w, 12h ago · 6 · ·

That was pretty amazing. Possibly the nicest story I've ever read. Of course now you've used up all of the nice on FIMfiction and for the rest of the week we get nothing but gore and clop and ponified versions of violent videogames.

But still, nice! :twilightsmile:

#7 · 106w, 12h ago · · ·

Hah, very down to earth story, I liked where it went.  Humerous and insightful for Fluttershy (And I suppose anyone else in her position).  Job well done mate! :twilightsmile:

#8 · 106w, 12h ago · · ·

>Which was cozily positioned right between a universe full of giant space turtles and a universe where everything was made up of black holes.

I love you. Unless this isn't the allusion I think it is, then you're still pretty awesome.

#9 · 106w, 12h ago · 5 · ·

As a (late) Author's Note, I have to say that this is not, in fact, a trollfic, and I am, in fact, a Christian, and I made sure to have this pass through a few of my other Christian friends. So, in the name of love and tolerance, let there be no "lol jesus ogm religoun sure is silly rite?" comments, because they will be deleted. Enjoy the story.

Edit: Also it was really just a test to see how well I could nail down a good Comedic Narrative. How did I do?

#10 · 106w, 12h ago · 1 · ·

... Everything went better than expected.

No, seriously. The funny little absurd streak running through the whole thing meant that it never got dull, and I honestly chuckled aloud several times. I particularly enjoyed your personification of pretty much everything. Well done for taking such an utterly silly concept and turning into an enjoyable, if uneventful, one-shot.

#11 · 106w, 11h ago · 1 · 1 ·

This. Is. Amazing! I love it! Here have an upvote and a fav!

And have some mustaches too!

:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

#12 · 106w, 11h ago · 1 · 1 ·

And then Fluttershy smiled, and Jesus had a heart attack. Shortly afterwards he came back from the dead and had another.

#13 · 106w, 11h ago · 1 · 1 ·

Great story!

#14 · 106w, 11h ago · · ·

...I found something objectionable?

Interesting read anyways. :twilightsmile:

#15 · 106w, 11h ago · · ·

I must say I am surprised. I did not expect something like this to turn out as well as it did.

#16 · 106w, 11h ago · · ·

This was entertaining. Very good read.

#17 · 106w, 11h ago · · ·

In before religion-related raging rants.

Wait, did I come up with alliteration on the spot?

That's a once in a lifetime thing...

Anyways, I don't really care much for/about religion (I'm atheist), but I found this rather amusing.

#18 · 106w, 11h ago · · ·

This was good! I love it! I liked all the random analogies in teh narrative you used, and I believe you caught the personalities of both Fluttershy and Jesus very well indeed!:twilightsmile:

#19 · 106w, 11h ago · · ·

I'm agnostic and I found this enjoyable.:twilightsmile: Not many can pull that off, good job!:pinkiehappy:

#20 · 106w, 11h ago · · ·

This was random, but also peaceful and adorable.  Well done :twilightsmile:

#21 · 106w, 11h ago · · ·

Cute story, man. There's a certain charm to the idea of Jesus chilling with Fluttershy, believe it or not.

Also, I found it odd that this story appeared just the day after I read Bill O'Reilly's "Jesus Comes to Ponyville", which is kinda the opposite of this fic:rainbowlaugh:

#22 · 106w, 11h ago · · ·

>>907738 yAy 4 uBerhAxn0va !!

#23 · 106w, 11h ago · · ·

Bravo, just bravo.

Now I have a question, where's the book club?

#24 · 106w, 11h ago · · ·

good job, i like this a lot. bewae, tough, some people migth decide to post troll fics of this. i hope not, but hey it might happen.

p.s. book club? What? lol!

#25 · 106w, 11h ago · · ·

I'm an atheist, but this fic really made me happy. It just felt... peaceful. No matter who he was, his wise words will always resonate through time.

#26 · 106w, 11h ago · · ·

You remind me A LOT of Douglas Adams! I can't help but think your inspiration comes from the Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxi

#27 · 106w, 11h ago · · ·

That was probably the best single Jesus I ever read. From one jesus fan to another you, sir, are a genius.

And so humble...

#28 · 106w, 11h ago · 1 · 1 ·

You get a gold star favorite, sir.

#29 · 106w, 11h ago · · ·

>>907782

I would say that it sounds like something straight out of a Terry Pratchett novel.

#30 · 106w, 11h ago · · ·

Very well written, i'm atheist, but it's impossible to dislike this. :twilightsmile:

The nice, quiet, tea time Jesus and Fluttershy had. What i like about it? It's quiet, something pretty hard to find not only in FanFic, but even in books.

By the way, this is the most original FanFic i've ever read, i could never even possibly think something like this! :twilightsheepish:

#32 · 106w, 10h ago · · ·

>>907748

Now that is an awesome picture. :yay:

#33 · 106w, 10h ago · 2 · ·

Jesus, ever the teacher. This is an amazing story, and I love how both Fluttershy and Jesus interacted. I wonder what's this book club he had to take off to.

#34 · 106w, 10h ago · · ·

Ohh I haven't read something this light-hearted and nice in a while. A welcome break between action sequences and improbable drama regarding the parentage of so and so. Thank ye kindly for making this :twilightsmile:

#35 · 106w, 10h ago · · ·

I'm an atheist, and have only this to say:

#36 · 106w, 10h ago · · ·

I'm an atheist, but I've always liked Jesus (that sentence was retarded, but I can't think of a less weird way to put it...) and this story was weirdly peaceful.

And it sucks how he disappears inexplicably when someone else tries to meet him.

#37 · 106w, 10h ago · · ·

I just knew Jesus would pull a "only a certain person/Pony may see me, if anybody/pony else pops out, i'm outta here."

#38 · 106w, 10h ago · · ·

As a christian pegasister I very much enjoyed this read. It has given me the start of an idea for my own fic.

#39 · 106w, 9h ago · · ·

Saw the title and the inevitable happened. Reading immediately.

#41 · 106w, 9h ago · 1 · ·

I'm offensive and I find this Christian.

#42 · 106w, 9h ago · · ·

As an atheist, I had low expectations going into this. However, this is more on the "meditative" side of religion, and not the "believe what I say or burn!" that I expected, so you earned my thumbs up.

#43 · 106w, 8h ago · · ·

I must say I was surprised by the title and at first wanted no part of it. But then I could resist, I just had to read it. And you know what? It was nice, I liked reading it. Didn't come off as pushy or anything. I've got no possible complaint on this one. Content is good and so is the writing style.

I am curious though, were you trying to imitate Douglas Adams by chance? I was getting some definite vibes out of it.

#44 · 106w, 8h ago · · ·

I liked this a lot. While I haven't read much of the Bible as I probably should, I feel you got His character down very well.

>>907978

Funny you should say that. I noticed that too, especially in the "Ponies are the second most intelligent creatures in Equestria", which is very much the same as a speech from HHG2TG explaining how Dolphins and Mice are smarter than Mankind.

~ TDG

BR
#46 · 106w, 8h ago · · ·

>>907743 Love that game.

#47 · 106w, 7h ago · · ·

Welp, it must be time to start on my own pony/Christian crossover.  Good work.  And I agree with everyone else's comment on the Douglas Adams feel.

#48 · 106w, 7h ago · · ·

You made Jesus nice i Im okay. And that is a strange idea, but I like it!:derpytongue2:

#49 · 106w, 7h ago · 1 · ·

Wasn't sure where this was going to go, still have no idea! :rainbowwild:

Masterfully surreal, and it was nice to see a non-Bible contained story where religion and/or Jesus weren't actually insulted (yup, I'm a Christian too).

:yay:

#50 · 106w, 7h ago · · ·

>>907782

Sounded like one of the Hitchikers Guide books. :twilightsmile:

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