So there I was, bleeding quite profusely, trapped inside my own mind with the dead body of an evil warlock torturer pony lying nearby and a goddess toting a submachine gun standing over me.
Overall, a pretty standard day for me so far.
With her enemy disposed of, Lady Luck finally looked over to me, her expression suddenly going from the cold anger she had directed at Kowelth to one of great concern at seeing the state of me.
“Oh, you poor dear,” She exclaimed in a tone that, had I not just seen her blast a unicorn apart with a Tommy gun made out of her own willpower, could be described as motherly. Tossing her weapon to one side she knelt down beside me and placed one hand upon my chest. “Here, let me help you with that,” She murmured as I felt a strange soothing warmth run through me. After a strange tingling sensation, I felt my body become as good as new, much to my amazement.
“...Where the hell was that when I was laid up in hospital for a week?”
The Lady coughed, “Erm...Gods are not allowed to interfere in the affairs of mortals?”
I raised an eyebrow and looked over to Kowelth’s body, which looked pretty damn interfered with.
“Fine,” She pouted, “I was tired from using my powers to cheat Ares out of some magical arrows. It was exhausting just to manifest myself to you and berate you for being in such a state. Speaking of which...”
I winced back and closed my eyes on reflex in preparation for the verbal beatdown of my relatively short lifetime. Imagine my surprise when, instead of of a tongue lashing, Lady Luck simply grabbed my hand and hauled me up with her surprising strength.
“C’mon, let’s get a drink. You look like you need one.”
Still slightly dazed, I allowed myself to be led over to my mind bar, which thankfully had managed to escape the worst of the devastation. I didn’t have time to fully inspect the drink selection earlier, mostly due to the whole evil psycho unicorn thing, but now that I had the time I noticed something strange about the drinks. Upon the label of each bottle behind the bar, in place of the usual brands of intoxicatingly wonderful drinks, was a date. Below each date was a short description in tasteful flowing text. I squinted at the nearest one and squinted hard:
13/04/2009
Stole a total of five wallets from CEOs of various businesses. Blew the money on whiskey and party poppers. Held impromptu drunken party in mafia den.
The next one along revealed a little more of the tale:
14/04/2009
Woke up surrounded by members of the mafia. Received three broken bones, multiple bruises and a fractured jaw before managing to escape out a window.
“They’re memories,” Lady Luck pointed out, “And some pretty hilarious ones at that.”
“Okay...that’s not creepy at all. Does this bar have any, you know, actual drinks or is it all just terrifying recollections?”
“Oh, I’m sure we can figure something out, we just have to be creative. Just look for any dates where you were particularly drunk.”
That didn’t take too long really. All I had to do was look for any dates around Christmas time and then start reading. Back home, on Earth that is, Christmas was always a sore time for me. Maybe it was something about a time of the year where everyone stayed snug inside with their families that rubbed me the wrong way, considering I never had that...
“Ah, here we go!” Lady Luck cried triumphantly, holding up a bottle for my inspection. The label was surprisingly concise, but exactly what we were looking for in the circumstances.
24/12/2011
Drunk.
Well ain’t that just a tragic little window into my life.
Regardless, I plucked the bottle from the goddess’s fingers and deftly popped the cork out on the edge of the bar. Smelling the liquid inside didn’t do me much good in identifying what exactly it was, even with my rather extensive knowledge of alcohols. Memories don’t smell like any drink I’ve ever encountered. Though they do smell very strong.
As I poured the two of us a drink of pure Memory, I felt the need to ask a question that had been buzzing at the back of my mind for a while.
“If you don’t mind me asking, why do you do all this?” I began, getting a raised eyebrow from Lady Luck, causing me to wave my arm at the destroyed casino, “I mean helping me. Why do you care enough to save me when I do stupid things like getting caught? Aren’t I just a pawn to you?”
For a moment, Lady Luck looked furious at the question and I feared I had overstepped my boundaries by questioning her. Then all her anger disappeared as she sighed into her glass, raising it to her lips and swallowing the whole drink.
“I’ve never viewed you as a pawn, you know that right?” She looked directly at me now, her eyes earnest. “You are many things Ace, more than you currently know, but you are not my pawn.”
“So what am I to you? You chose me to be this ‘Wild Card’, your champion you said. But surely there are much better candidates? Soldiers and fighters. Tacticians and geniuses. Men and women who can command a situation just by being in it. So why me? Why some no-name thief from the streets of London?”
Lady Luck sighed again, something that she was doing with alarming frequency recently. “Have you ever heard of Hercules?” She asked suddenly.
“I think I watched a Disney movie about him once, why?” I asked, confused by the sudden change of subject.
“Well, just so you know, I blame him for all this,” She waved one hand to indicate both the general area and myself, “Not just him of course, Theseus and Jason and all the others played their parts as well. Here, Drink up.” And she reached over and poured some more Memory into my glass.
“Can we even get drunk here?”
The Lady frowned, “I’m actually not sure. But then, considering what I’m about to tell you, it’s worth trying. Where was I?”
“You were ranting about Hercules or something.”
“Oh right. Basically, back in the day, gods such as myself used to do some really stupid things. I’m talking really stupid here. A bit like those people in America who celebrate their liberty by shoving fireworks up their asses. That level of stupidity. Naturally, all this messing about ended up with something no one wants on their hands.”
“A lawsuit?” I guessed.
“No, worse. Children. We had to keep messing around with mortals, which led to demigods,” She took a deep gulp of her drink, “We gods were young back then. We had no idea how to raise children so we did what any young parent does. We alternated wildly between spoiling them rotten and practically abusing them with our demands. This led to entire generations of self-entitled, emotionally-damaged superheroes running around killing stuff for fun.”
“I’m still not seeing where this is going.”
“Hold on, I’m getting there. Anyways, the demigods. Eventually, the Big Man realised just what terrible parents we all are and chose to do something decisive. Of course, the thunderbolt throwing jarhead was was never the brightest star in the sky so his decision was marred slightly by his usual brand of incompetence. Instead of forbidding us from sexing up mortals whenever we feel like, he instead chose to ban us from raising our children. Said that they had a better chance of growing up normal if we just left them with mortals. Bastard.” She spat with a level of venom that I had never seen from her before.
“So you’re not allowed to raise your children?”
“Oh it gets worse. Not only are we not allowed to raise them but we have to give them over to the Big Man for ‘relocation’. That’s right, we don’t even get to chose where our kids go!” All of a sudden, the glass in Lady Luck’s hand shattered, her death grip upon it evidently proving to be too much. She stared blankly at the glass that had lodged in her hand and the blood that slowly trickled downwards.
I was a little scared to be honest. I’d never seen the Lady like this before. She was usually so...calm. The sort of ethereal calm that only a god could project. Even when she had been angry at me after the whole White Tail Incident she still hadn’t been as bad as this. That anger was born out of concern for me, either as her valuable puppet or however else she viewed our relationship. This wrath wasn’t directed at me, but instead was aimed at herself. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that this anger was born out of...
Guilt.
“Wait...what exactly are you trying to tell me here?” Worry tinged my voice as I spoke, threatening to break it as I began to get an inkling of what she was talking about.
“Ace...those years of your life that you spent alone. Growing up without anyone to hold you, to care for you. Surviving on your wits and your speed...” She looked up at me now, holding my eyes with her own tear filled ones, “Ace, I’m so sorry.”
I was silent as I stared back at her. No words seemed appropriate at the moment as I tried to process what she was telling me. “Are...are you saying...?”
“Yes Ace, I am your mother.”
I looked away from her, unable to stare into her pearly orbs any longer as they begged me for forgiveness. I idly noted that I had drained my drink and was unconsciously pouring another. A thousand times I had gone over what I would do if I ever found my parents. These little fantasies ranged from revenge daydreams to accepting and tearful hugs all round. Needless to say, I had not expected this to be the reunion that I had dreamed of for so long.
More than a few of these little fantasies in my head ended with me telling my true parents that I didn’t need them. That I had survived without them under my own power. Now I couldn’t even do that. As confident as I was with my skills, a damningly insistent part of my mind told me that my luck had saved me more than a few times. This luck wasn’t a part of me, just a gift from an estranged mother apparently.
“So where does this leave us?” I finally managed to say after three glasses of Memory.
Lady Luck turned back to the bar and grabbed another glass, quickly filling it and taking a sip. “I’m not sure. It’s up to you I guess...” Her tone, almost pleading as it was, clearly stated what she wanted.
“Who’s my father?” I asked suddenly.
“What?” Lady Luck’s head snapped up to look at me.
“My father. Who is he? I mean, unless gods can just do it by themselves I guess.”
“No, no, nothing like that. He was a gambler by the name of Peter Wilding. He was one of the best players in the circuit for a while and then, one day, I decided to go against him in a game of high-stakes poker.” She smiled in nostalgia, “Oh what a game that was. I was so confident that I would win I even put my heart on the line, no small move for a goddess. And then he managed to pull a royal flush out of nowhere. I’m pretty sure he was cheating...but I didn’t mind.”
“What happened to him?”
“After I gave birth to you, the Big Man found out and banned me from interfering with Peter’s life. It meant I could do little more than watch as Peter eventually cheated the wrong man at cards...and payed the price for it.”
I winced at that and took another gulp of my drink. I had seen what happened when a card shark wasn’t careful with their prey and couldn’t imagine what it was like to be forced to watch as a loved one went through that.
“Sorry,” I murmured, getting a silent nod from her in response, “So...you’re my mum eh?” She nodded again, “I’m having more than a bit of trouble believing that to be honest.”
“Well it’s true.”
“If so then what happe-Oh sweet merciful gods!” I spat out my drink as I realised something.
Lady Luck turned around in surprise, looking half ready to blast some new threat, “What? What’s wrong?”
“I just realised. When we first met and you sent me to Equestria...I thought you were sexy! That is so wrong!” I stuck my tongue out in disgust as though I had tasted something sickening.
Lady Luck stared at me for a moment as she comprehended the situation. Then she began to giggle, a light tone that tinkled in the air. Before long her giggling had gone to full blown laughter as she rocked about in her bar stool, looking danger of falling on the floor from laughter. Surprisingly, I found myself chuckling as well, before joining her in raucous laughter.
“Looks like your old mum has still got it.” Lady Luck managed to say through her snickering, which prompted a fresh wave of merriment from the two of us. Maybe this Memory drink was actually managing to affect us after all.
I wiped a tear of laughter from my eye as I slowly managed to calm down, “Wow, we are one fucked up family aren’t we?”
“Yeah I guess so,” Lady Luck responded, managing to cease her rocking by holding onto the bar, “Not exactly the hugs-and-kisses, be in bed by eight sharp and stay in school type are we?”
“Definitely not. By the way, what do I call you? Lady Luck just seems so,” I frowned before managing to spit the word that neither of us was fond of, “formal.”
“How about Fortuna? Or maybe Tyche? Those are some of my original names after all.” She paused as if struggling with what to say next, “Or maybe Mum? If you want to that is.” She asked hopefully.
I froze before letting out a sad smile, “Maybe one day but this is all still so...new. I think I’ll stick with Fortuna for now.”
Fortuna responded with a sad smile of her own, “I understand.” She said sincerely, not quite managing to keep the hurt out of her voice. “Anyway, we should see about getting you back to the real world. Events are progressing quickly now and it would be a shame if you were to miss them.” She stood up and I joined her so that we were facing each other in front of the bar.
“Before you send me back, I just want to say...” I struggled with my words on this point as I gazed at her, deeply aware that my own eyes were shimmering with barely restrained tears, “Thanks for helping me out all these years. I understand that you couldn’t interfere directly but...thank you anyway, for the luck you know.”
I suddenly found myself swept up into an embrace as Fortuna buried her head into my shoulder. Surprised, I wasn’t sure how to react for a moment before eventually allowing the embrace, wrapping my arms around her as well.
“Ace, I am so very proud of you.” She said, her voice breaking slightly as she whispered into my ear. “My son...”
We stood like that for a while, simply enjoying the embrace of a relative we both thought we’d never be able to interact with. Fortuna was clearly unwilling to break her hold and, to my surprise, I found that I shared the sentiment.
Imagine what the gangs back home would think. The great thief Ace, a feared foe to all who possessed valuables, desperately hugging his mother and crying like a baby. I couldn’t care less about my image though. For the first time in my life, I didn’t need to be the suave thief or the plucky survivor. At the moment I felt like a little boy. A little boy who missed his mother. Tears happily streamed down my face and around my wide smile, slowly dripping off to dampen Fortuna’s suit. I could feel a similar situation developing on the shoulder of my own coat as a goddesses’ - no, a mother’s - tears began to pool there.
Eventually, we were forced to break the embrace and look at each other. Years of earnest longing, of loneliness and pain, of guilt and anger and negligent showing for all the world to see. My eyelids began to feel heavy and slowly started to close of their own volition, though I managed to keep a smile on my face as they did so.
I would probably never have a proper parental relationship. But this...this was a good start.
I woke up with the bonds that held me mysteriously gone. A little help from above I guess. Kowelth was standing exactly where he had been when our mind battle had begun, except now he was staring blankly ahead and drooling slightly out the side of his mouth. So that’s what the result of losing a mind battle is. Now I am extremely grateful for Fortuna’s assistance.
I gingerly stepped around the unmoving unicorn and picked up my gear from the table nearby, slipping each instrument and tool back into its proper place. I was more than a bit amazed that they hadn’t bothered to take my stuff more than a few feet away from me. This is the second time they’ve managed to capture me and they keep making the same stupid mistakes. Maybe they’re just really firm believers in the phrase ‘third time’s the charm’?
Regardless of their faith in stock phrases, I had no intention of getting captured again. Not when I now knew I had a mother figure who would greatly disapprove of that. What if she frowned at me? Or if she told me off?
What if she was...disappointed in me?
I’ve heard that a mother’s disappointment is a terrible thing to have to face, even more so than anger. I still remember the tale of Antonio Musumeci, who had been an Italian gangster of some fame, running home with his tail between his legs when he heard his mother’s disapproving tone. I can only hope it won’t be that bad for me. Poor Antonio could never show his face in the underworld again without being called a ‘momma’s boy’. Of course, Antonio was also a violent psychopath so it wasn’t like his presence was really missed.
All these thoughts flitted through my head as I left the torture room and crept through the lower bowels of the ship, which meant that I wasn’t paying the greatest amount of attention to my surroundings. I’d just had an earth-shattering bombshell dropped on me, I think I can be forgiven for being a little lax.
Although, as the crossbow bolt flew past my head, nicking my ear and causing a thin stream of blood to flow out, I kind of wish I had been paying more attention.
Being snapped quite forcefully out of my reverie, I looked up to notice the lone pony stood in front of me. He was a perfectly white pegasus with a long, almost feminine looking mane. His wings were fully outstretched, revealing the twin automatic crossbows he had strapped beneath them. An infuriatingly smug smirk adorned his muzzle, revealing surprisingly perfect teeth for a pirate.
“Ha! I knew that fool Kowelth wouldn’t be able to hold you for long.” Oh dear gods even his voice was infuriating. It was like someone had tried to grab every accent that could be even slightly described as ‘posh’ and meld them all together into one eldritch vocal abomination. “But as for moi, I am Lieutenant Hunter, Thought Hunter, and I am much better than that. I’ve analysed you. I know you. At heart, you’re a coward who avoids a direct confrontation in favour of tricks and silly rouses. In a straight up fight, I think I alone should be able to-”
It was at about this point in his self-important monologue that my knife slammed into the meaty part of his right foreleg. For a few moments, he just looked at it in complete silence, seemingly amazed that someone would interrupt him.
Of course, then he started screaming.
“OH SWEET CELESTIA! You stabbed me! Who does that? This really hurts you know!” He continued to blubber incoherently for a moment before he seemed to remember that he had freakin’ crossbows attached to his wings. “You’ll pay for th-huh?”
I was, of course, not stupid enough to give him a chance to aim. In the time he spent whining about being stabbed, I had already stepped forward, crossing the short distance between the two of us. My right hoof swept up into a snap kick, sending his head shooting upwards to look at the ceiling and his eyes spinning. Planting my right leg firmly on the floor I spun my entire body around, my left leg swinging around into a vicious spinning reverse roundhouse kick that slammed into the side of the stallion’s head. The force of the blow sent the pony flying to one side, his hooves actually leaving the floor for a moment before he landed in a heap, his breathing deep and his body not moving.
“Huh, that was the easiest boss fight I’ve ever had. If that was their lieutenant than the rest of the crew should be a cakewalk.” I murmured as I retrieved my knife from the good lieutenant's leg.
As I moved towards the ladder, ready to face an entire shipful of bloodthirsty pirates, I let out a sigh. I really need a safer hobby than this. Maybe I should take up origami or something.
I pondered that for a moment.
Nah, that sounds boring. Fuck that noise, let’s go poke a hornet’s nest.
Well, that was certainly unexpected.
I had thought you were going to have her just walk up to him. "You dun goofed kid." and wake him up.
this is actually an amazing chapter. personally i think you nailed it
"Fuck origami, poke a hornet's nest." I love that xD
No, no I think this is good. Explains how Ace gets so lucky, and right now I'm remembering the scene where she shows him all of the different ways he could've died at that one town...
It's a good chapter, don't change it. Except for the emotions and stuff, that got a bit cheesy...
Eh, I'm not sure I'm entirely sold on the reunion. It vaguely reminded me of the Griswold family: a bit cheesy but strung with emotion and comedic input. I wouldn't be able to help with the emotional parts (similar boat to yours), but sealing should be ceiling if it's any consolation.
2870641
You know, I'm pretty sure I made that exact same typo not two chapters ago...I guess I never learn
If you do change this chapter significantly I'd humbly ask you keep the original because to me it fit really well. I've not experience with estranged parents but this was really solid.
2870652
Assess, reassess, assess again. I haven't seen that mistake in a while, you're getting there. Keep up the good work.
Just saying, if Fortuna is a Greek Goddess (or whatever) it's Herakles (or Heracles, can't remember the correct spelling). Hercules is what the Romans bastardised the name into when they got a hold of the myth.
You did me a good surprise revealing the parentship of Ace. He is son of most imprevisible and passionate God
You should link to the group for the universe
Bluntly, any estranged parent you've never met, seen or even heard. Meeting them, yeah, its awful as hell, even if you find a common ground. And I do speak from experience in meeting my own father (from a verbally abusive step dad in context of what I was fearing to get again) I had heard good and bad from grandparents who were the ones to raise me right. Old images, 16+ years outta date, stories, good and bad over what he did. And some were deplorable in a sense, yet I understand having walked in those shoes genetically (Same condition). The best experience, and this is meeting on good ground, a grandfathers (WW2 vet and coal miner) (his dad) resting place we both cared for and respected deeply. Imagine taking the worst moment of fright you ever had, and taking it up to everyone watching you while you try to talk and do normal everyday conversation. Its hard to convey, it would be like trying to beat a polygraph facing a firing squad for stealing from a dictator with him.
Even if I was a bit of very like minded with my father at the time when we got to know each other, its odd, but his wife helped a great deal in smoothing things over then. He was nothing like how I expected him to be, though the nature of genetics has cursed up both to be rather, awkward, in our meeting, we still chat every now and then, a simple greeting and smile on the net works. But that's how it is for someone thats socially a nervous wreck now meeting and dealing with folks.
Yeah, its something else for rough, but as things go in what you wrote, it wasn't bad. Ace isnt exactly one for dealing with the emotional, its a cast off thing like a chip on the shoulder, he is one to avoid feelings in general when they aren't useful. All things considered, you did relatively right on, the other side of things, hmm, im unsure, but given direct is never something of luck's forte, it sounds like the mind is where more than a few meetings are going to be held sway. And luck, is, at best engimatic, something of a mix of fate, destiny, and patterns, running numbers that would make deep blue envious, yet having to have watched and not interfered, but still one to do so as only luck can. Still, its tricky, the nature of gods and whups, the greek ones, yeah, they have a natural way of mucking things up royally, and having to get the kids to fix things.
But, still, all things said and done, you didn't roll the snake eyes here, but not quite those sevens either.
I LOVE IT
I feel like the mother-son revelation was indirectly foreshadowed, even though that doesn't really make sense. If the reader has read through many of the other Chessverse fics, none of the gods are really so invested and connected as Fortuna. Nothing in this story itself (as far as I can remember?) pointed toward the relation, but the relative closeness kinda pointed toward something being there.
'Course, I was leaning on Fortuna having the hots for Ace. Guess I was a generation late on that one.
Greatest plan ever.
Frankly, this chapter was impressive. I can easily see where you were drawing on Percy Jackson when talking about the Greek gods' relationship with their children, while still retaining enough originality to not be a blind shoutout. The revelation of Fortuna being Ace's mother came as a surprise (particularly due to what you've told me you have planned) but I felt that it fit well with both characters and their relationship. I'm not really one to judge how well you handled Ace's emotions, but I feel like they came across as realistic. So, all in all, quite a fantastic chapter.
2870731
Thank you for your advice and for sharing your experiences, I understand that it can be hard doing so. I am definitely doing to keep your words in mind if I ever have to write a scene like this again. If I may just ask a few questions of you though (and feel free to answer in a PM if you don't want to talk in the comments section). Firstly, from what I can understand, meeting an estranged parent is, above all else, very awkward. I've been talking to a friend of mine who met his estranged father a few years back and he said "It's like you feel that you should really know this person. Your heart is saying that you should be close and able to talk about anything. But then, in your head, you have no idea what to talk about and you realise that you don't actually know this person your supposed to be calling dad." (His words exactly there) Would you say that this is how you felt? I think it's an opportunity I failed to exploit in this chapter. I should have focused more upon how, in a single sentence, their entire relationship dynamic changed.
Also, the second thing I wanted to ask about is the issue of calling an estranged parent by the title of 'mum'/'mother' or 'dad'/'father'. Do you feel like it is appropriate to call them such? I touched on this a little in the story but I'm mainly wondering how long it takes someone to start seeing an estranged parent as an actual parental figure and start calling them such.
Thanks again for all your help. You don't have to answer any of my questions of course if you feel uncomfortable doing so.
I've not had that particular experience, but I'll certainly give my two bits of the situation as I see it;
Where other situations might dictate a tremendous awkwardness as the estranged parent tries to reach some common ground with their child, Fortuna and Ace have the small advantage that the two have got to know each other somewhat better through their odd interactions. Fortuna, being a goddess, presumably had been keeping an eye on Ace too, so is likely to know how best to broach the situation, and is likely to get lucky, pun intended, in finding the right way to speak to ace without causing him much problems.
Ace on the other hand, has just been handed the truth that his mother had essentially been forced to give him up against their will, and has managed to find some loophole or other around this to come and speak with him; perhaps, now he is an adult, she can claim that as a grown(-ish) man, the law Zeus made no longer applies. Essentially, it's a joyous reunion, as mum and son reunite. The situation may have been iffy at first, what with having to explain the reasons behind it all (and believe me, the Big Boss making a law on the matter is a pretty solid reason - pissing off a god is a bad idea) but now they're sort of on the same level emotionally. There may be some lingering awkwardness and hesitance as they work out how to interact with each other, especially given the goddess-and-demigod status, but they're likely to get on pretty well, and I expect Fortuna will try to make up for lost time with Ace; more frequent visits, perhaps, or presents and extra luck. likewise, Ace might respond in kind and try to make her proud.
That's how I see it at least, take what you will from it, some, none or all. Cheers for another great chapter, looking forward to seeing how the story continues.
Now, I haven't read far into the story yet; not at all. Though, I ask; will the Elements ever come in, and will there be a sequel?
2870898
I'm afraid the Elements never show up in this story and yes, I am planning a sequel though it may be a while before it comes out.
2870920
Might they show up in the sequel? I'm just curious. I shouldn't be asking this question just yet though, since you have to think it over.
2870894
Thank you, that's actually really helpful Your comment has actually helped me resolve a problem I've been struggling with, which will show up in a couple of chapters. (Don't worry, I'll probably talk about it in the Author's Notes when it finally does come up.)
I am, at the moment, a little hesitant on how often Ace and Fortuna will be interacting. However, the majority of me agrees with you on their reactions. Ace will finally have someone in his life to look up to and may well work to make her proud whilst we may end up seeing more of Fortuna as she tries to reconnect with her son. I am going to have to ruminate on this but I'm liking this scenario more than the two of them being strangers towards each other.
2870927
I haven't fully planned out the sequel's storyline yet but I doubt they will show up, though I can't promise they won't either. As this story is set in the shared universe of the Chess Game of the Gods there are some rules about interacting with canon characters, such as the Mane 6. Basically, I would have to 'book' their time for my story whilst working with other canon authors to make sure there are no timeline clashes. Whilst I'm sure a small cameo wouldn't be too much hassle, if I want them to show up for an extended period of time, there might be some problems. Hope this answers your question and thank you for reading
2870947
I feel like an idiot now.
I didn't know it was crossing over with another story. >_<
I... I don't bloody believe it... I honestly can't believe that I'm about to say this, but... I called it! I really, completely called it. From that first scene of her calling him out for how stupid he'd been on the rooftop, showing him all the ways it could have gone wrong, I thought to myself... that's not Goddess anger at having to use power, that's Mum anger at a son's stupidity. Sure, she was angry because she'd had to help him with so many bits of it, but at the same time she hadn't hesitated to do so. If she'd been a goddess just looking to win... maybe she'd have been ticked, but any parent who's had to reach out to stop a heavy/sharp object from falling because their child isn't paying attention knows the sheer terror of seeing all the possibilities flash before their eyes and knowing that if they hadn't been there one of those would have happened. Any parent, any guardian, even me as just a godfather to a bunch of small kids... we know that terror and anger.
So yeah, I thought it. I went and thought 'that's a parent's reaction'. And I'm glad I did, because if I hadn't I'd have missed the biggest chance to say 'called it' all damn story.
That said, if you're looking for a sounding board for this, do drop me a line, I'm a fair go at these.
For example, I'm a little pleased that you didn't overplay Ace's reaction to this. The pacing is nice, and I think that the almost-under-whelmed tone of the whole scene fits the character of Ace better than shouting or general over-reaction.
To me it's 'She's my mum... well shit...' and that sums up the whole slew of emotions that are fighting to come out and amalgamating into a blank-faced 'I'll sort it out with a stiff drink' reaction.
That said, a little denial sarcasm would grace this scene a little better. Maybe have him make a Star Wars reference to it, like 'I don't suppose you want me to join you to overthrow the Emperor and rule the galaxy together as mother and son?' Another way to do it would be to have him wonder whether this was the moment he was supposed to be wide-eyed and wondering, childlike in the joy of finding his mother, but his own cynicism painting a big 'nah' over the whole thing and settling for something more cautious, making sure.
Overall, I like playing this scene as Ace being too exhausted from all that's happened just now to be much more than bluntly honest, and unsure what to think, even though he's had all this build-up. Dropping the M word on him all of a sudden is just one more blow in a ten-round mental boxing match he's been living. It's very raw, very much more real because he just doesn't know, can't really find his momentum to build up to a real, conscious reaction.
So yes, I'd like to see more cynical Ace-ean humour, but at the same time the admittance of mind-numbing and inability to decide on a reaction is also good. You could happily play up either and make this scene sing.
Also, I know you wanted to end it on a high-note with the hug, using words like 'longing' when they end it, but did the poetry spring from? I like it from a purely aesthetic standpoint, but this is a rough-and-ready, slightly awkward reveal, I'd like to see some of that awkwardness transfer into the unexpected space-invasion. As in, yes they both want the hug and are surprised by how much they need it, but at the same time... the one's desperate to be accepted and can easily over-egg the emotion, knows it and might flinch away if she thinks she is, while the other is about as huggable as a kicked tomcat because he's still very new to, and confused about, this whole having-a-parent thing and a little weirded out by how sudden it is. Conflicting emotions would account for a lot of awkwardness.
I'm done, I've rambled for long enough, catch you next time! Or sooner, if you want to pass some ideas back and forth.
2870965
Congratulations on the most epic 'called it' moment ever Especially since that was like 35 chapters ago (And, to be honest, I really wasn't sure on Ace and Fortuna's relationship back then.)
That's right. Your actually managed to call it before I did...
Thank you for your review of this chapter Whilst I know that I could have do better in certain aspects of it, such as the Ace-an humour part (how the hell did I miss the possible Star Wars reference? I must be slipping), it is still warming to hear exactly what people liked about the chapter. Yours, my good sir, is the sort of comment from which true feedback can be garnered. I have taken your points and added it to part of my writing notes entitled 'things I should do in the future'. Needless to say, that list has grown a bit this chapter
Once again, thank you very much for your comment and thank you even more for enjoying the story.
...She didnt show him his deaths because she was angry...She showed him his deaths because she was SCARED. Scared of losing her child..
2870810
Without a doubt, its your dad, I can't describe it better than that. And I do think of him that way, both parents I do, each had their faults, their troubles, but they did try and raise me for a time. I never could quite find the super deep bond, as I had that in my grandfathers, mothers father, and fathers father. They treated me like a son in the brief time I knew both.
For what your friend wrote, i'd agree 100%. You really are torn two ways. As for my biological dad in focus. Yes, I do call him dad. Its just me, but really, its complicated in a strange way. I forgave both my dads for what they did. I know they had reasons, not what they are, but its rough starting. It took a good hour to really break the ice enough to feel comfortable in talking, and this is sitting down and trying. As for the other side of things. I could not say, but a mother figure, is daunting, scary, and when you look at that fact of deific power, well, even more so. Luck is enigmatic in the best of times. But the best of writing to you, and I do think you can do this.
As for ways to look at it in other ways, if your up for reading, there is a psych book you might be interested that helped me internalize the nature of growing up in this manner. Its called "Emasculation of the Unicorn" and hopefully might be useful as a rental from the library. It talks about the ways of adulthood in relation to a kid who is coming from a missing parent, or both and how the lack of both impact their life, with the stumbling nature of how society is so unforgiving.
Does the demigod got powers?
2871207
Thank you, this has really helped me decide how long it would take Ace to accept Fortuna as an actual mother. I wasn't sure whether to drag it out for a while and have it become an undercurrent of tension between the two or have them actually accept each other but your comment has helped me decide. Thank you for that I'll definitely do some more reading on this subject so I can try and get Ace and Fortuna's interactions right in the future.
2871260
I am glad I could help you there, and hope the book does too.
25.media.tumblr.com/c2c3c3ae3100ea251d63447dda1ee490/tumblr_mnp2u2rpNO1rxl7wmo1_400.gif
Damnit, Barrel-Of-Fun! how do you come up with this stuff?!
this, this totes my goat
First, shooting people in the ass with a roman candle wand is fun. However, being on receiving end really sucks. Still, it's a great bonding event for any group of friends... until someone's hair catches on fire...
Also, lol. Lawsuits are pretty high up there, but children are always worse.
Also, disappointing parents is bad...
"SON! SHAMEFUR DISPRAY! COMMIT SEPPUKU!"
on the subject of the major plot twist here: to be perfectly honest, i... did not see that coming at all before three paragraphs or so before the reveal. but i like it. it adds some depth, and gives us a solid reason as to why Ace was her choice. so congratz. it's not often that i get completely blindsided by such a major plot point :3
2871210 How about Uncanny Luck, Dextrous Hands, Mental Agility and a deck of magical cards with five flavours of magic? That'd be a good set of skills for any demigodling-satyr
2871619
He got the luck and magic cards from mama.
Do this bar have any: It kinda twinged my liver when I read this. Just change it to "Does" and all will be good.
-Appletank out.
2871643
Fixed thank'ye kindly
Well Barrel...seems you still have asses on your mind. You should really work on that.
2871743
What can I say? Perhaps I should lie but I just can't. You know why? It's because...
I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE!
YOU OTHER BROTHERS CAN'T DENY!
WAT!? What a juicy plot-twist, love the new chapter by the way, can't wait for more!
2871736
I always get those two mixed up
(The names that is)
2872123 Nice profile pic there ;)
2872373
Indeed so
I'm kind of iffy on the whole 'son of the goddess of luck' thing but because this story has been amazing so far, I think something like that can slide. And besides, who wouldn't want to be the child of Lady Luck herself?
2871790 Ha! That song will never get old
It all makes sense now. Lady Fortuna used to hunt Gangplank when she was younger and now, following in her footsteps, Ace is doing the same.
I liked this chapter a bit more than the last one even. It was good, and now more paths are open to play on. You could do stuff related to Ace's parents, and all that implies, without feeling worried that the readers would be totally lost because they otherwise would not have known about his parents.
Would old episodes of Oprah, where people meet long lost family members be good enough research material? The show was kinda popular (based on it's long run time), there are probably a few episodes kicking around the internet.
Edit: P.S. — I forgot to mention, I got a totally funny and somewhat impractical idea. The idea is to do a crossover between this story here, and Machinations of a Trickster.
Why would you do this? Because the main characters of both stories are kinda similar, and it would be funny to put them in the same place at the same time and seem what happens. And, both stories feature meddling from higher powers such as gods. And also alternate universes!
I don't know how what the author of that story would think about a cooperative effort though.
Relax, I expect nothing to come of this strange idea. And I should mention that the reason I mentioned this is mostly to provide something to talk about. Pleasedon'tdisapproveofmeI'msorryI'mjustdesperateforconversationbecausenoonelikesmebecauseIcan'tdecideifI'mbeingseriousortryingtobefunnyandIthinkaboutmyselftoomuchandtrytoshowoffmyintelligencebutprobablymakepeoplenotlikemeandI'msoconfusedbymywhateveritisthatlet'smethink! Is now a good time to say I'm don't have social skills, but I try whatever I can think of anyway? Ugh, I'm a contradiction on two legs, who wishes for a specific situation where he would have four, but which is not completely described by that condition.
Uhmm… I'm going to give you a chance to read this before I decide to dig myself any further.
Nope. It worked well. The lineage makes sense, especially when you take into account when she was furious at him for almost losing his life like you mentioned. As for the meeting, it worked well. It didn't seem cheezy or forced at all, in my opinion, at least.
It is spectacular!