The Great Pirate Punch-up
Edited by:
Blazinblade7
backgroundbrony
In a nearby alleyway, Iron and Summer watched as Ace strode towards the ship, had a rather confusing conversation with a guard and then was led inside.
“Are you sure you’re up for this?” Iron asked, looking at the decidedly calmer Summer.
“I’m sure. Besides, you couldn’t stop me if you tried.” She replied.
“Don’t be so sure about that.” He said wryly. “But what I mean is, are your emotions in check? I know how dangerous that can be for unicorns.”
Summer knew this too, all unicorns were taught at an early age that magic is intrinsically linked to emotion. Certain emotions, such as love, can be used to add additional power to defensive spells such as shields, but could never be used to directly attack another living being. Anger was one of the more dangerous emotions to fuel magic off of. It’s naturally destructive nature augments offensive spells to the point where very little can stand against them, however these rage spells tend to have unwanted effects. There had been reports in the past of angry unicorns accidently attacking friends or family as they lost control of their magic, some even going so far as to destroy themselves.
“Don’t worry about me, I’m fine.” Summer said, though she felt anything but. Despite her attempts to calm down she could still feel the rage, bubbling away beneath the thin veil of tranquility she had adopted. “I’ve never had a Magical Eruption in my life, I’m not about to ruin that record.” She looked up and smiled at him. “Your concern is appreciated though.”
Iron smiled back at his unicorn friend, silently vowing that if she lost control in the upcoming battle then he would knock her out. He wasn’t about to lose her, especially not to herself.
“So, how long do you reckon Ace needs?” Summer spoke up in an attempt to change the topic.
“Ah probably not very long at all. I’ll say one thing about the lad, he has the extraordinary ability to get into trouble in record time.”
Summer silently nodded and a comfortable silence descended as they went back to watching the ship. It wasn’t long until they saw the rather distinctive signal they had planned ahead of time. The window at the back of the ship that looked into the captain’s quarters shattered outwards, a small figure shooting out to sea.
“Let’s go.” Iron whispered as they left the alleyway.
Summer wasted no time introducing herself to the ponies who had kidnapped and tortured her father. Her horn lit up as she called upon her inner reserves of magic, the framework for the spell she needed forming in her mind. She channeled the power into the framework which began to shape the raw magic into a tangible, usable form before releasing it outwards towards the pirate’s ship. It would take a unicorn to appreciate the beauty of the spell she had just used, the efficiency in which she converted magical power into devastating lightning. Of course, you didn’t need to be a unicorn to appreciate the effectiveness of her attack. Three bolts of pure lightning shot out at the ship, the sound of their passage travelling desperately in their wake. Where they struck, calamity reigned.
The first shot eagerly over the heads of the pirates, striking the furthest of the ship’s three masts. The mizzen mast groaned in strain as a large portion of its base was completely obliterated. Slowly - almost gracefully - it began to fall. Screaming sailors scrambled from underneath its fall path as it plummeted off the ship and into the sea. The second shot, in an attempt to outdo its older brother in terms of sheer property damage, struck the broad side of the ship, blasting a ten foot wide hole in the ship and leaving the wood around it blackened and scorched. There was more screams from inside the ship as pirates were rudely awakened and began to scramble about, desperate to either find a nice place to hide or take the fight to their attackers. The third bolt did as third brothers often do, whereas its two siblings had struck once and caused a large amount of destruction with a single blast, this one chose to be more cunning and strike in a place that would cause true grief. To this end, it did not so much as strike as it did lightly touch. It came down upon a tangle of rope that led upwards into the riggings, not inflicting much damage at all on the ship but instead setting the rope on fire. The fire, eager and new with life, shot upwards along the rope, dancing a merry jig along the rigging and over the sails, setting wood and canvas alight as it hopped about.
Iron stood, jaw dropped in amazement, as he beheld the effects of a single attack from Summer. The ship was now crippled, heavily damaged and on fire. As far as first impressions go, that one was perhaps the most memorable he had ever seen. The pirates certainly wouldn’t be forgetting that one anytime soon.
Upon the deck, the pirates were galloping about under the command of a single stallion, the same guard who had led Ace inside, presumably the first mate. He had managed to organize them enough to have the pegasi among the crew fly up and extinguish the flame, as well as whipping the rest of the crew into a vague fighting formation around the front of the ship.
“Who dares?!” He screamed out at the two, spittle flying from his mouth.
Iron and Summer stared unblinkingly as a small army gathered on the foredeck of the ship, a terrifying array of deadly weapons pointed towards them. Cutlasses, maces, flails, spears; all were aimed at the duo with vicious intent. Summer stepped forward, scared by how calm she had become.
“I am Summer Storm, daughter of Swift Storm. You have attacked and imprisoned my father. For that you will pay.” She stated simply.
The stallion's eyes widened as he realised the identity of his adversary. Turning his head, he looked questioningly over at the huge minotaur.
“Iron Will.” The minotaur introduced himself. “I’m just along for the ride.”
Each side stared silently at each other, assessing the skills of their opponents. Summer had already displayed the terrible power she wielded, and it was obvious the Iron was no wimp in a fight. On the other side, pirates of all three races of ponies were prepared to beat back the invaders who dared to attack their ship. They numbered fifty strong, each armed to the teeth with vicious weapons and capable with their own individual skills.
It was almost a fair fight.
The calm was shattered as the first mate screamed out an order to attack. Pegasi took to the air, a variety of wing mounted blades flashing in the sunlight. Earth ponies galloped down the gangplank, their natural strength augmented by metal shod hooves and armoured bulks. Unicorns lit up their horns and prepared offensive spells. They needed no weapon, though some of them levitated blades beside them nonetheless.
Iron and Summer looked at each other, already knowing what to do to best take on the approaching enemies. There was no need for a spoken plan between them, they simply acted silently and without hesitation.
Lowering his head, Iron charged towards the Earth ponies who were hurrying down the gangplank, two abreast. Many of them had already managed to reach the solid land of the dock, whilst others looked on in horror as the giant minotaur charged their unstable position on the bridge to the ship. The first wave of Earth ponies braced against the charge, confident that their combined bulk could easily stop Iron’s foolish charge. At the front of their line, a particularly large set Earth pony stallion readied himself to take the full force of the charge, grinning slightly at the challenging prospect of stopping the huge creature barreling down on him. His smirk fell away from his face, replaced with look of horror, as Iron slammed his hooves into the floor, sparks flying up as he killed his momentum. Iron’s arms shot out and grabbed the large stallion by the front hooves, easily yanking him off his hooves and into the air. Spinning once, he used the stallion as a makeshift club to smash the front five Earth ponies aside, sending them flying off the dock. The rest of the ponies looked on in shock as their line was devastated. Before they could fully recover, Iron had continued his attack, his living club flying out three more times, sending several more stallions either off the dock or into unconsciousness. With the Earth ponies who had managed to make it onto the dock now eliminated, Iron threw his weapon towards the remaining ones before grabbing the end of the gangplank, straining his muscles as he lifted it up and threw it into the sea. His job done, he looked over to see how Summer was doing.
After Iron had charged off to deal with the ground units, Summer had been left facing the full power of fifteen unicorns, as well as the pegasi who were still circling above. She activated a small spell, a simple construct that was almost always overlooked by most unicorns, who believed that, as it had no directly offensive capabilities, it was useless in combat. It was an enchantment that augmented the user’s eyesight, allowing them to see the raw power of magic in the world around them. With it, Summer could see the spells that the enemy unicorns were constructing around their horns. For the most part they were simply telekinetic force spells which most unicorns knew as a basic defense. Some had decided on more advanced pyrokinetic spells, designed to shoot a fireball at their foe. Smirking, Summer began to cast another spell, weaving the magic around herself into a Double-Weave Shield. It was an advanced piece of magic and Summer was thankful for the rigorous training she had received as a member of the National Guard. Without it, she would have no chance of surviving this attack.
The unicorns fired their spells, dangerous magic arcing through the air towards Summer. The first salvo of force spells struck against the initial weave, many of them being reflected directly upwards by Summer’s shield. There was many a surprised yelp, followed by falling feathers, as the reflected spells struck some of the flying pegasi, who’s hesitance to enter the fray seemed to be doing them no favours at all.
The second wave of spells, the fireballs, went straight through the first layer of the shield, which was only designed to beat back the force spells. They instead were absorbed by the second layer, fire flickering around Summer as she absorbed the full power of their attack, sucking up the magic that powered the spells and adding it to her own thaumaturgical reservoirs. The fire dissipating, she released her shields and grinned up at the ensembled unicorns.
“My turn.” She spat out.
The unicorns began to hastily erect lightning shields, expecting an attack similar to the first one that had devastated their ship. It was true that Summer was mainly proficient in lightning based attacks, but that did not mean she was foolish enough to think that direct attack was the only way to use her abilities. Aiming her horn carefully, she began to cast, causing a jagged bolt of lightning to fire from her horn. The bolt shot past where the shielded unicorns stood on the forecastle, the smell of burning ozone filling the air as it flew by their heads. Rather than directing her energy towards any biological targets, Summer had instead aimed for one of the ships two remaining masts. The foremast, its sails already ablaze from Summer's earlier attacks, groaned as its base was blown out as well. Slowly, it began to fall, heading straight towards the unicorns, who watched its descent, immobilized by a combination of shock and fear. Just as the mast began to pick up speed, the unicorns recovered some of their survival instincts and leapt overboard to escape, choosing the freezing cold of the dock over a fiery death on the ship.
Summer grinned in triumph, pleased at her victory. This expression was quickly wiped from her face when she was forced to leap back to avoid a bolt of lightning that came from above. The pegasi had evidently managed to get their act together, had gathered up some dark clouds and were now starting to shoot at her...with lightning. The irony was not lost on Summer as she began to erect a barrier around herself. Several more bolts came down and were easily absorbed by her shield. Flicking through the spells she knew she chose one that would do a maximum amount of devastation to the pegasi, a hex that would cause their cloud weaponry to turn against them. Just as she began to build the framework of the spell, she felt a disturbance in her shield, followed by a lancing pain that sent her flying backwards, gasping for breath.
Recovering as quickly as possible from the unicorn attack, she looked up to see several soggy spellcasters charging their horns, looking pissed from their dip in the ocean. Struggling back to her hooves, Summer quickly threw up a weak barrier around herself without any regard for things like shield specialisation. It was fragile, sloppy and would have earned her a hoof to the head from her old guard sergeant, but it would last long enough to give her a chance. Turning tail on the forces now combined against her, she began to flee to the nearest cover, the cruel laughter of the victorious pirates following her.
Iron Will was facing a similar problem. Half of the pegasi had split off and were now doing bombing runs on him, using their superior speed to take swipes at him before retreating to the safety of the sky. To compound his problems, the Earth ponies had now fished themselves out of the bay and, after a brief drying off, were now attacking the minotaur in force. One would dart forward whilst he was distracted swiping a pegasus away, spin round and land a buck on him. While a single kick was no where near enough to take down Iron Will, the sheer amount of enemies was slowly straining his endurance. Iron winced as one lucky bastard got past his defences and gave him a solid kick to the leg, which definitely felt like it would bruise. The moment he tried to retaliate a pegasus swooped in and kicked him in the back, allowing his Earth pony compatriot to escape unharmed.
The ponies flighty behaviour was beginning to infuriate Iron Will. He wanted to grab them, crush them, break them. He wanted to rend the cowards apart and show them the true strength of the minotaurs. He felt the blood pumping round his body and rushing to his head as he thought of this. The vision of their bloody corpses lent strength to his limbs and fearlessness to his heart. A red mist descended as he began to snort through his nose and scrape his hoof on the floor.
And then a shout of pain reached his ears. Summer’s shout of pain.
As quickly as his rage had begun, it ended. Iron immediately whipped his head round and saw Summer lying on the ground, unmoving. One of the unicorns had managed to get through her shield and sent her sprawling as she tried to escape and now the pirates were closing in. Unicorns stepped menacingly forward, prepared to finish off the one who had done so much damage to them. Their pegasi comrades hovered overhead, eagerly watching the punishment that was to come. Iron knew what he had to do.
Lowering his head, he performed another goring charge, the signature attack of his people, and slammed right through the circle of ponies that had surrounded him, their attacks having little effect against his swiftly moving bulk. Earth ponies who dared to stand between him and Summer quickly found themselves becoming temporary pegasi, flying gracefully through the air before landing violently on the floor. Iron’s charge took him directly towards where Summer lay prone and he swept her up as he went past, being as careful as possible with the injured unicorn. As soon as she was secure in his arms he ran on, heading for the temporary cover that some stacked crates would provide.
As he rolled in behind the cover, Summer began to come to, the attack from earlier evidently had merely stunned her for a moment.
“Ugh, what happened?” She asked, her bleary vision focusing on Iron Will.
“Some lucky bugger got through your shield.” He responded. “I’m not sure which one it was though so I figure we take them all out. That way we will probably get him.”
“Probably?”
“Well, it’s possible that he’ll run off screaming like a little sissy.” Iron said, shooting her a grin.
Summer returned the grin, enjoying the sight of the usually grumpy minotaur smiling. Iron was forced to wipe the smile off of his face as he ducked to avoid a unicorn’s magical strike that had managed to clear the barrier. Seeing Iron in danger, Summer immediately looked over the cover, identified the unicorn who shot at them and sent enough electricity his way to leave him a twitching mess on the floor.
“Thanks.” Iron grumbled, picking himself up off the floor and leaning against their barricade again. “You reckon they’ll run out of tosspots soon?”
“Probably not.” Summer replied, beginning to charge another spell in her horn. “I think we may have interrupted the tosspot tea party and now we’re the main course.”
“Damn. How much longer do you think Ace will be?” Iron questioned as he looked around for some way to contribute to the ranged battle. Prying up a loose cobblestone, he hurled it at a unicorn. His prodigious strength allowed the missile to travel at insane speeds, smashing his target in the head before the spellcaster could even react.
“Hopefully not much longer. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to keep casting like this, I’m running dangerously low on energy.”
Iron also hoped that Ace wouldn’t be much longer. If Summer ran out of magical power then they wouldn’t be able to hold the advancing pirates back any longer. At which point this distraction would become a death sentence.
Iron shrugged and picked up another stone, aiming to knock a pegasus out of the air this time. He knew what he had to do. Keep fighting and, if possible, make sure his partner gets it out of here alive. These two objectives in mind, the sturdy minotaur carried on his battle.
Completely oblivious to the fact that Summer had the exact same objectives.
Why yes, this chapter is essentially one long fight scene. I felt that we hadn’t seen enough of Summer and Iron recently, and definitely not enough of them kicking flank together. So here it is, hope you enjoyed the beatdowns.
One of the things I used here which I don’t usually do is the weird overhead view style of writing. Omniscient narration I think it is called. Please tell me if you find it confusing when I flick between Iron and Summer like this and I’ll change it. Maybe add some line breaks to differentiate who’s who.
Also, ACTION! YEEEEEEAH!
About as action-y as refrigerated jelly,
Barrel-of-fun
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I am a sadistic bastard, and because of this I shall take what you readers hold SO near and dear to your hearts...
first
1757105 *GAAAAAASSSSSSSP* YOU DARE!?
I don't mind the switching back and forth between summer and iron.
So this may just be me being the freak that i am but do i directed some shipping between Iron and summer?
Live long, Write fast,
Titan
1763265
Damn I liked dis
Overall, I think the fight scene worked well, and the transitions were fine. The main problem I had with this chapter was the heavy use of the passive tense. You have a lot of sentences like "They had done this." It kills the action of the story by removing the immediacy and adds an extra verb to the sentence, making it harder to follow. Additionally, you had a couple of sentences in a row with similar structure, or the same word used multiple times. This makes it just read really awkwardly.
Example:
Emphasis mine in order to show how often you use 'now.' It gets a bit distracting. I think what happened is that, when you switched to this omniscient perspective you began to write in a strange past/present combination text. Mostly, it's the passive voice being weird. I've put the 'had's in italics to show where it gets passive. In the future, try to avoid this tense, or at least its overuse.
-azore24
Thank you, Barrel-of-fun for teaching me the phrase "Omniscient Narration". I enjoy learning.
Iron Will and Summer will kick so much ass[apologies to donkeys everywhere].
1763336
I'll be the first to confess that I'm not much good with tense. I often forget about them completely whilst I write. I do thank backgroundbrony for catching some of my weird tense shifting in this chapter.
Would you be able to help me a bit? Let me just adjust that extract slightly and tell me what you think.
Just removed the nows and changed wording a bit so it should all be in past tense (I think)
Thanks for any help you can give.
1763423
Yeah, that reads much better (to my thinking, at least). I think I was wrong about it being passive (because grammar's hard, yo). So ignore that bit. Without the added 'now' there is just less clutter.
-azore24
1763274
Yes i know..... i am a freak....
1763520 We're part of a community of mostly men who watch a show intended for 6 year old girls.... Trust me, you aren't alone
A comment on the narration, as you've noted that you're worried about it, I absolutely hate it when people feel compelled to write a point-of-view change, whether by line-break or by (I shudder sometimes) actually heading a section 'character 2's POV'.
What you've done here is a fantastic mix of standard third person and 'cinematographic overlay', as I'm dubbing it for now (those times when a good director finds an angle that lets him simply shoot from the same place during the action of one character's fight and then switch to the next character by having them burst into the scene much closer to the audience and move on from there), that makes this fight scene come alive. As both a reader and an editor I thoroughly enjoyed seeing a low-brow brawl narrated in high-brow brilliance.
You've done well. Go have a pint, you deserve it. No more Flogging Molly until you've finished the story arc though.
1763671
Thank you! I'll admit that I've been watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy recently (In preparation for the Hobbit coming out) and had my head full of the fight scenes from them. I find the best way to write a fight scene is to imagine it as though it were a movie and then look at how each character transition is done. Having a scene where Legolas is shooting orcs in a forest whilst Aragorn grapples with one in the background, before switching to a close up of Aragorn and his opponent, then the orc gets shot in the back and it goes back to a more wide-angle shot so you can see Aragorn nod thankfully at Legolas.
This sort of thing happens all the times in movies (Particularly in 300 where the camera flows from each Spartan brilliantly) and I feel it often does it a lot better than books ever could. Still, we learn by emulating those that are better than us and if the film industry can do this so well, I see no reason why we shouldn't steal it for our own nefarious purposes. Nefarious purposes that involve ponies of course...
1763555
Trust me, Im more alone than you think
Pony combat royale!! I LIKE.
Awesome! =D
Oh, and I didn't have any problem with the writing style.
1764175 /:flutterhug:
1763456 Tenses... my greatest enemy
Action?
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/106/887/backpain-1292835351.jpg
And then Ace saves Swifty and finds gunpowder.
1764175 YOUR NEVER ALONE FOR SLENDER IS ALWAYS WATCHING
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQqFENheGZUgk_TXyZFLyBkyfmezgoN5AASVbOuZiEz_7p5nLZc4A
No
top hatsace? Still awesome chapter, and iron will x summer almost shipping is best almost shipping.all that was going through my mind was this. Anybody else?
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=i3W5GDkgf2w]
1766531 Good luck finding me, i thrive in the background, never noticed, never seen. An urban ninja. I am...
The Backgroundbrony
1766627 Inigo Montoya
"You killed my father, prepare to die 
"
I thought the exact same thing when I saw that
1764479
Indeed, tenses can got really confusing. I find that reading whatever it is out loud helps a bunch, so if you don't do that yet, then give it a try. It will help to feel out the text as language, so you'll hear where it's awkward. Plus, you can give all the characters funny voices, which always makes things more fun.
-azore24
I love the use of earth pony clubs. truly fantastic
1763336
Can you define "passive tense" for me?
1770799
Technically it is the "Passive voice' and I was using it wrong there. The passive is when something is done to the... subject, I think? I'm better at examples.
Not passive:
Passive:
In the first sentence, 'I' is the subject, and is doing the action. 'The fence' is the subject in the second sentence and is being acted upon. Most passive sentences have that extra verb in the sentence. (In my example, 'was' serves this purpose.) Here's the Wikipedia page! It's written by people who know grammar much better than I do.
-azore24
1770917
Thank you.
1770980
No problem.
1771033
O.o
Someone who responds to simple niceties? You are my new favorite person.
1766969 Thanks for the tip. I do that sometimes but when I proofed this it was 3am... I'm lucky I didn't miss any other major mistakes
1766760 well f*ck
So... posting this here cuz I have nowhere else to post this, but dafuq is up with fimfic marking all my chapters as unread
Huzah! Another magnificent chapter!
Though through it i was wondering where Ace was...
then i thought
probably looting the pirates...
I did not find the switching confusing and i really enjoyed the action. You portrayed the battle scene spectacularly!
I sometimes wonder if there's such thing as 4th person and if there's a story somewhere written in future tense.
1774722 Crap. I must shave my head and grow a bear Max Payne style and then move to Europe under the alias Pacco. As a renegade Treadstone agent with amnesia I will be able to use my super soldier spy skills to evade you. Top that my little stalker
1780041 "darkbrony711 is watching you"
There is a spy about 
1780191 They are one and the same
google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://th00.deviantart.net/fs70/200H/i/2012/288/0/c/pinkie_spy_by_doucheclop-d5hxcef.png&imgrefurl=http://www.deviantart.com/morelikethis/332440071&h=200&w=283&sz=45&tbnid=sA5Ev_X-liaWaM:&tbnh=82&tbnw=116&zoom=1&usg=__qja1mYz9tz7Ov1QID-YuSSFuXqg=&docid=qL_HFdIPnm8iyM&sa=X&ei=c9XGUILpNqmtiQKG_oGADg&ved=0CEIQ9QEwAw&dur=1364
Pinkie Spie
1780274 YUSSSSS!! Have a trolestia for the effort cuz it's one behind Moustache
1780274 you can't beat Shadles
Unicorn specialized in lightning magic?
Minotaur being a badass and tanking everything?
Through this whole fight i was imagining Ryze and Alistar idk why, i must play too much league.
1740080
Actually, there is. Its called "Luffy's adventure in Equestria" or something. Replaces Boa Hancock with Equestria, Celestia as the xenophobic pirate lord of the Navy, and Tartarus is now Impel Down. Also, anyone on the island becomes pony. I may have screwed up some details, but whateves, The number of unread fics I have is too damn high.
elsewhere
A head pokes his head out from the deserted mansion. "Hello, Anyone home? Guess not." He hefts his broom over his shoulder and kicks concrete blocks into a pile while wondering if his contacts could find anyone to buy a mansion of a criminal. Oh well, making the building at least halfway presentable was a start.
1784111 Heh, now I wanna read League of Discord again thank you
Is this a loose Princess Bride reference or am i drawing lines that aren't there?
1784111 i know the feelz
Avengers, Ensemble! Wait…
Oh my god. I shouldn’t. I really... I’m doing it.
Damn fine action and view
wonderful chapter 