Spoilers for Season 7, Episode 10: "A Royal Problem," and a certain new character called "Daybreaker". Tagged for Celestia since her body is technically in the story, lol. The first few paragraphs are in the form of a diary entry by Princess Luna, then it gets into the action after that. Thanks eternal to Stasy Solitude for the poignant and beautifully done artwork she gave me permission to use as the cover! The deviations from the regular MLP 'verse will be obvious with a good King Sombra having ruled the Crystal Empire and its bat ponies (yes, crystal bat ponies!) and yes, this is Lunbra, rejoice, ye fans of the pairing of night and shadows ;)
Chapters (1)
Well... Damn. That is the only thing that comes out of my mouth when reading this story. ...Well, that and wondering what Crystal Bat Ponies might look like.
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Heh, uh oh, I hope that's a good "damn" as opposed to a bad "damn". And yeah...crystal bat ponies are probably sparkly cool!
..... really? Another 'Celestia is being too overbearing and needs to be stopped' fic?
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With tens of thousands of writers and readers on this 'site, yeah, there was bound to be another one, but it's the first one for me...does that count?
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I don't particularly care for them..... so........ kinda I guess?
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Lol, fair enough. I do an unconventional Sombra, so doing something overused is probably new territory for me. When inspiration hits, it grabs me by the braincells and refuses to let go until the writing deed is done. Ever have that happen to you? You'll know what I mean if you have :)
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I do.
Still doesn't really make this feel any better.
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) And yeah, I know what you and 8222492 mean about plot bunnies grabbing you by the head and nibbling at you till you write them.
No, it's the good kind. (Though I am very tempted to make Edward Cullen jokes now.
Your long summary should be revised ASAP. It doesn't tell much of anything about the story and looks more like an author's note. I'd also give this another glance since I was sure that I spotted a few typos lingering. The mention of a mirror makes me think that it was the mirror Sombra who was injured, but it's hard to tell since the details about him felt scarce. A couple more lines about why Celestia transformed into Daybreaker would have been nice since they are usually the focus of these Nightmare X stories. Other than that, the emotion was nice and Luna was very badass. I did enjoy Starswirl's appearance as well.
Keep writing!
Might I also suggest removing the Sombra tag since his presence isn't strong enough to really warrant one?
I do love thsis tory where thier be a sequel, basicly skipping pass the bit on Day Breaker being destroyed and Celestia return, or will you do one where it focuses on Celestia the bit of her that still ther edealing with what her sins created.
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Aww...thanks diablo! I was thinking of something similar where Luna has to deal with what Daybreaker did to King Sombra - she did basically destroy his body, Luna salvaging his lifeforce using shadow magic inherent to them both.
Yours are both good ideas for jumping off points for sequels...what would you like to see me write?
Nyx
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Yeah, I was trying to go easy on the details in case someone didn't want to be spoiled before this morning. I'll probably go back and fix that today.
Yup, on my agenda. I'm still catching typos from stories I uploaded six months ago *sigh*. If you (or anypony else) have some specific ones that are driving you nuts seeing, can you please PM them to me? I'd be very grateful (heh and so would my readers!).
Oh yeah, I didn't even think about that. I didn't do this with the comic Sombra in mind actually since their Crystal Empire was ruled by an evil Cadence, doesn't have crystal bat ponies in it and doesn't have the unusual topography I described the citizens living in.
Great point! I was tempted to write something even more elaborate, but felt inspired to stick to the theme of Stasy's amazing artwork. I was even tempted to scrap this completely and write just the scene surrounding Luna's feelings as she's saying goodbye to her corrupted sister, but I don't think I could have written a thousand words on that alone. If I do a prequel, I can flesh that corruption process out much more and go into how she tried to manipulate Sombra into supporting an alliance with her instead of wedding Luna. I would have to tread carefully, though, as it would parallel "Tale of an Empire" which was my inspiration for the quick line I threw in about Celestia's argument that Luna should not wed him because she is immortal and he is not.
Heh, I'm glad. I love when he kicks the door closed in that bat pony's face...cranky old people are so like that!
Done. Yeah...was clinging to that a bit too much. You are absolutely right!
Thanks for adding my little fic to the Luna is the Best Pony group...cuts down on the amount of work I have to do and it gave me a nice, fuzzy feeling that you liked it enough to do that
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You're welcome! :)
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Luna's story first, heck Celestia/Daybreaker could be able to see a punishment that happened on its own maybe the elements doing this to show DayBreaker/Celestia what her greed caused and the damage.
that was a great fight scene at the end. I loved the way Luna tricked Daybreaker into going higher and higher into the sky. Very clever. I also liked the scene between Starswirl and Luna. He stars off as a grumpy old guy, but becomes very affectionate when they are alone.
This is one of the most well done Daybreaker scenes I've yet to see