Chapter 8
If there's one thing that I've learned, it's that I have a lot to learn. Also, never get Princess Luna mad.
~Diary of Trixie Lulamoon, 1508 AF
“And that’s what happened,” Trixie said as she stood straight and straining in front of Princess Luna’s desk, her coat itching under her cadet’s uniform. Now that she was done talking, it was all she could do to keep her head from drooping. It wasn’t fair—even after a full day of constant sleep, she still felt tired.
Princess Luna was looking into some middle distance, her eyes unfocused as she considered what Trixie had told her of her experiences with Puka and her unauthorized excursions into the Dreamrealms.
I am so getting kicked out, she thought as she studied Luna’s face for any hint of her thoughts.
“You are a very fortunate mare,” Luna said eventually. “And a very foolish one. You violated nearly every rule I had laid out for you. You violated your suspension and betrayed my trust, all for the sake of pride. You put yourself at risk, for pride. You made not only myself sick with worry, but also your fellow cadets. Your friend Smidgen was inconsolable whilst you were entrapped in dreams.”
Each statement was like a blow. Somehow, Trixie managed to avoid staggering and kept her posture upright. “Yes, Princess.”
“I am curious. What do you feel that your biggest mistake was?”
Trixie didn't even have to think about her answer. “Impatience,” she said. “I was unwilling to wait. I wanted to go forward, full speed.”
“And it never occurred to you that, just perhaps, I might know best?”
She couldn’t keep the flinch off of her features that time. “I… I thought you were being overly cautious. I thought I could deal with more than you were giving me.”
To her surprise, Luna nodded. “Indeed, you could have. You are learning at an impressive pace. What you failed to realize, however, is that for as quickly as you develop skill, you are slow at learning wisdom. You were incautious and reckless to an extent that nearly brought disaster down upon yourself.” A scowl etched itself across those regal features. “This is not acceptable. Do you understand? I cannot have this kind of behavior in my Dreamguard.”
Trixie nodded. It wasn’t exactly unexpected, no matter how little she liked hearing it. She blinked rapidly, her eyes burned with tears that she was furiously failing to stop from falling. “I understand, Princess. I will pack my things and leave immediately.”
Luna snorted. “Leave? After all the effort I spent in training you? After the days I spent freeing you? After the lesson you learned, one that was very nearly at the cost of your own mind? Nay, Trixie Lulamoon. You are not going anywhere.”
Trixie gaped at the Princess, who was looking just a bit on the smug side. “Buh..? I thought... “ She shook her head. “You’re letting me stay?”
“Naturally, you are no longer First Cadet,” Luna said as if Trixie hadn’t spoken. “And you are facing considerable punishment. Fortunately, I know what form your punishment shall take.” The Princess leaned forward and smiled a smile that raised the hair on the back of Trixie’s neck. “T’was your pride that led you down this path, and it is your pride that I must address. By the time I am through, I promise you that you shall be the most humble mare in all Equestria.” The Princess caught her in a glittering stare that nailed Trixie’s hooves to the ground. “Even if it takes the rest of your life to accomplish this. This, I swear upon my name and honor, Trixie Lulamoon.”
Trixie nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She wondered, briefly, if it was worth it to try running.
“To start, I believe that explaining the actions you took, as well as the rules you broke, to your fellow cadets would be a good first step,” Princess Luna continued. “It would prove a good object lesson, don’t you think?”
Her ears pinned back at the thought of explaining every stupid decision she’d made over the last week to the others, and she couldn’t help but cringe. She could feel the humiliation already. Still, if it meant staying in the Dreamguard… “Yes, Princess,” Trixie managed to say.
“Very good. Now, I imagine you have some questions about what happened.”
She did, indeed. More than she could say at first. She decided to start with the most obvious. “What was she?” Trixie blurted out. “Puka, I mean. What was she?”
Luna sighed. “Judging from your description, I would say she was most likely a lleuad corlun, also known as a moon sprite. By themselves, they aren’t all that dangerous. In fact, they can be friendly and even helpful.”
“That’s how it started,” Trixie said slowly. “She helped me learn and led me to Draumweyr.”
“Draumweyr.” Luna sighed and shook her head. “‘Tis a legend. I would have dearly loved to see it for myself. The true one, rather than the version created for the dream which trapped you. Sadly, you are unlikely to find your way back without Puka’s help.”
Trixie snorted. “I’d ask her the next time I’m in the Dreamrealms, but I wouldn’t trust her.”
Luna frowned as her eyes hardened. “Moon sprites do not typically lie. Ordinarily, they have little capacity for deception. To even bend the truth as much as she did tells me that she was desperate. You did her a great deal of harm, Trixie Lulamoon.”
“What?! I did… but she..!”
“Only gave you what she thought you wanted. In the beginning, at least.” Luna sighed and looked away. “As I said, moon sprites are usually harmless and friendly. But they are hopelessly naive and uncomplicated creatures. And you fed her your emotions, which is by far the worst of the transgressions you have committed this week.”
“I don’t understand,” Trixie said, her voice small. “That hurt her? How?”
“It didn’t hurt her. In fact, you empowered her greatly. Doing so… complicated the otherwise uncomplicated creature. It brought her thoughts and feelings with an intensity she was unable to experience otherwise, yet with no capacity to manage them. And some of you was distilled into every emotion you fed her. A part of you will always now be with her, and she will always yearn for that closeness. She will thirst after your company and your emotions as an alcoholic thirsts for wine.” Luna sighed and rubbed at her temple with a silver-clad hoof. “Yes, a great harm was done, though perhaps I am not the best one to chide you over this matter.”
Trixie stared at her hooves, breathing heavily as she absorbed that new information. “I… I see. I didn’t know.”
“Which is why you should have trusted my wisdom and followed my instructions,” Luna replied, her calm voice hitting with much more impact than if she had been shouting.
Trixie nodded in reply, still staring at the floor and not trusting herself to speak for a moment. When she found herself able to talk again, she asked about the other thing that had been bothering her. “And the Gaunt One?”
Princess Luna’s eyes glittered as she smiled in a grim and humorless way that chilled Trixie to the bone.
~~*~~
The black-on-grey of the Path of Shadows surrounded her as Trixie walked slowly forward, her heart thudding in her ribcage. She’d been walking for a while, now, and was almost wishing that it would happen just so she could get it over with.
Trixie Lulamoon, a dry voice seemed to whisper from somewhere off to her left.
Or maybe it could have waited a bit longer, she decided as her skin felt like it was trying to crawl off of her body. She stopped on the path and reached out with her will, her terror making her fumble a bit before she managed to gather threads of aether to her. Forcing herself to work slowly, she wove them into a defensive shield, one that surrounded her whole body. It was something Puka had taught her and which Luna had approved when she’d seen it.
Trixie Lulamoon, the voice seemed to say. Come.
Trixie scowled. Come? Like I’m some sort of a dog?
The anger was good. It drove the fear away. Not all of it, but enough for her to work as she pulled in more threads, this time winding them tighter and tighter until she had a solid rope of it. She repeated the process over and over, finally weaving the ropes into a large net.
All the while, the voice kept sighing at her, calling her name and trying to entice her off the path. It was horrifying. It was aggravating. It couldn’t be over soon enough.
Shield around her and net above her, Trixie turned to her left and stepped off of the path, making her way through the brittle monochrome underbrush. Her ears rotated rapidly on her head as she looked around, trying to spot any movement.
A rustling, rushing sound behind her was her only warning before something hit her shield with a heavy impact. A shriek of terror ripped its way out of Trixie’s throat as she spun and flung the net at the pale shape that had rebounded off of her shield and was already making another run for her. Fortunately, her aim was true, and the net settled over the figure before it had a chance to reach her.
The Gaunt One stopped cold in its tracks, straining against the ropes of aether that bound it. Trixie gulped and swallowed as she caught her breath and tried to calm herself, staring wide-eyed at the thing she had captured.
She could see where it had gotten its name. Vaguely pony-shaped, it was a pallid, coatless thing of chalk-white skin stretched painfully tight over bone, with no obvious flesh to speak of. It stood at least two heads taller than Trixie did, taller even than Princess Luna, though it had no horn. The skin of its muzzle was pulled back into a rictus, exposing the sharp, bone-white fangs of a dedicated predator. But what really grabbed her attention was its eyes—or, rather, its lack of them. Where its eyes should have been were, instead, twin pools of pure darkness.
Trixie Lulamoon, the thing hissed in a voice like the sigh of an autumn breeze through dead leaves. Prey. Come.
Its hooves dug at the ground under it as it strained forward, its mouth opening and closing as it tried vainly to bite her.
“Yeah, I don’t think so,” Trixie muttered as she drew more threads of aether towards herself. She wove quickly, though the adrenaline spiking through her was making her jittery enough for her to make more than a few mistakes. Every time she did, she had to release the aether and start over. Luna had been very clear that the weaving must be absolutely precise.
The whole while, the Gaunt One strained and whispered at her, the sound of its voice still seeming to come from the environment around it and not from its mouth, which was still moving as if it were already chewing on her. Trixie would have been more terrified if it weren’t getting on her nerves so much.
“Oh, put a sock in it,” she snapped as she began her seventh attempt to weave an Injunction. It turned out that seven was the lucky number, as she finally made it through without any errors. When complete, the Injunction she wove looked like a spear forged of silver. Trixie gulped as she stared at it, not sure if she could follow through with the rest.
“I understand your hesitation,” Princess Luna said beside her as she let her shadecloak dissolve. Trixie, who had nearly forgotten that the Princess was there, let out a startled yelp. Fortunately, she was able to keep her concentration enough to prevent either her net or the Injunction from dissolving. “I can finish this if you wish.”
Breathing heavily, Trixie shook her head. “It’s a monster, right? We should slay our own monsters.”
“Monster? No. It is even less than that. It is hunger given form, nothing more. It has no more life and even less purpose than a flame. And, like a flame, it can and will destroy whatever it falls upon if it is not snuffed out.”
Trixie nodded. She braced herself, all four hooves solid upon the ground, and brought the Injunction around and touched the point of it onto the head of the Gaunt One, right between the boiling pits of shadow where its eyes should have been.
Both the Injunction and the Gaunt One vanished the moment they touched, with a sound like a sigh and a puff of wind which ruffled the stiff, dry grasses around Trixie’s hooves. The net of aether collapsed, and Trixie allowed it to fade. She stood, shaking and staring at the place where it had been standing, until a dark wing draped itself across her back.
“Are you well, Trixie Lulamoon?” Luna asked.
She nodded. “We should slay our own monsters,” she repeated, though her lips felt numb as she said it. She’d read that in one of the books she’d been given for training, though she could no longer remember which one.
“Very well, then. Let us return to the path. Stay beside me and do not fall behind.”
Luna set out, Trixie trotting along at her shoulder. She kept playing the incident with the Gaunt One over and over again in her mind, wincing each time she remembered bringing the Injunction to bear. Shaking her head, she opened her mouth to ask Luna a question when she noticed a spot of color in distance. Puka was gazing at her silently, the expression on her face unreadable.
“Puka is watching us,” Trixie muttered to Luna.
“Yes. She has been since we entered the Dreamrealms. Only now has she allowed you to see her.”
Trixie bit her lip and kept her concentration on her hooves until they reached the cobblestones that ran the length of the Path of Shadows. “I… should I talk to her?”
Luna regarded her solemnly for a moment before nodding. “You may, if you wish. Be gentle but firm. And remember: your mind and heart are your own, Trixie Lulamoon. Trust them not to the care of others, for that way Nightmares lie.”
It took a moment for that statement to sink in. When it did, Trixie’s head snapped around to look disbelievingly at the Princess of the Night, whose features were schooled to perfect stillness. “I… I’ll remember, Princess,” she said, her voice a whisper.
It took several deep breaths before Trixie could make herself move forward. She kept her eyes on Puka, who began fidgeting as she approached. She stopped two yards away and hesitated, not sure what to say. As she considered it, she remembered what Luna had said in her study and finally knew how to start.
“I’m sorry,” Trixie said. Puka blinked and tilted her head. “Princess Luna tells me I did you a great harm. I didn’t mean to, and I’m sorry.”
Puka jumped off of the bush she was sitting on and drifted lightly to the ground. She approached cautiously, like a wild animal, until she was only a short distance away from Trixie’s hooves. “Puka forgives.”
Trixie chuckled. “You’re back to speaking in the third person. A hard habit to break, I know.”
A look of confusion washed over Puka’s face and was gone a moment later. Once again, she approached and slowly stretched out to sniff at Trixie’s hoof. “Worry?” she asked. “Fear. Guilt.”
“Okay?” Trixie said, not sure where this was going.
“Confusion, now.”
“Yes, I’m confused. I don’t know what you want.”
“What Puka wants?”
Trixie nodded.
“Worry. Fear. Confusion. Puka wants. Guilt. For Puka?”
“Oh…” Trixie’s heart broke a little at the hopeful look on Puka’s face. “No, I can’t. I can’t do that anymore.”
“Sadness. Guilt. Please?”
“I… I can’t give you those emotions. They’re mine, and I need them.”
Pain flashed across Puka’s face. “No?”
“I’m sorry, no.”
The moon sprite stared at her for a moment longer. With a low cry, Puka fled into the underbrush of the Path of Shadows, leaving a glowing blue streak behind her fading slowly into darkness. Trixie stared after her for a long time, even after the light had faded.
“Time does not heal all wounds,” Luna said as she walked up beside her. “A great many, yes, but not all of them. Sometimes, the best we can hope for is learning how to cope with the pain.”
“She was smarter in the dream,” Trixie whispered, still staring off where Puka had vanished. “She said she was more real with me.” She sighed and let her head hang down. “I really messed up, didn’t I?”
“Oh, yes,” Luna replied, nodding. “An unmitigated disaster.” She showed just a hint of a smile, then. “Fortunately, you were not together very long, or it would have been much worse. There has been worse in the history of Equestria. Learn from this, and move on.”
“Yes, Princess.”
“Very good. Shall we return to the others and continue our training?”
Trixie sighed and looked away from the undergrowth. “Yes, Princess. I think we should.” She let out a dry, humorless chuckle. “After all, I have a lot to learn.”
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Already over?
Don't get me wrong, it's a good ending, it's just it feel more like a "part one" that a "one and only part". I do hope it really is a Hiatus till you get inspiration/time for more.
I want more, and I agree. This is more of a "To be continued."
I hope to see a reconciliation between Trixie and Puka in the future.
Perhaps someday Trixie can give her the gift of friendship, which no matter how much you give, always leaves you with more.
I reiterate, poor, poor Puka.
seems to me someone needs to address the abject flaw in lunas own system, she should have gone over at least basic creatures from dreams that they might encounter before even taking them beyond the threshold. I find trixies failings are luna's failings as well here, thus Trixie's embarrassments are hers.
8098644 I dunno. I thought this was a solid ending that left the door open to a possible sequel. I've seen too many stories on fimfic that seemingly end in the middle of the tail to the sequel becomes neccasary for resolution and this story certainly didn't fall into that trap.
I wish the ending for Puka had been a happier one though.
I also hope Luna isn't too overbearing in breaking Trixie's pride
Excellent story, hope for a sequel.
someone give Puka a hug!!
img.memesuper.com/145f7e5aaa8fb504eef15f3c868138a4_meme-more-please-meme_500-300.jpeg
Puka needs hugs.
So, it's now Luna's personal mission to teach Trixie humility. RIP Trixie, you were fun though a little aggravating at times.
Man, poor Puka. I too hope for a reconciliation in a future story. In the end, she was just trying to help.
8099578 Puka would drain your love like a changeling if you did, though.
Emotivores are funny that way.
8099641
Kinda weird question, but... which would you rather have drain you, Puka or a Changeling?
I choose Puka.
*whistles* I admit - that was not what I expected the truth to be for Puka... If it is possible, I would dearly love to see this continued in a sequel :)
This was a great story. The ending is sad, but it felt right. The only thing I missed was it seems like Smidgen should have had a scene in the last chapter. She was a very good friend, and since Trixie was getting pulled away from her in the dream, it would be good for closure to show them being close again.
I liked Luna's handling of Trixie's punishment. Luna would have been justified to expel Trixie immediately, but it looked like her own past mistakes made her more lenient. She forgives much who has been forgiven much. At the same time, Trixie was not let off free, either. Trixie would probably prefer being flogged instead of public humiliation, but it will also build her character instead of tearing it down. Well done.
All the dream realm world-building was excellent. This relatively short story had enough meat in the setting to have a whole series here without it getting boring.
I don't understand the meaning of this sentence.
As for the story, I'm sorry to say that didn't read Chapters 4 through 7. I knew it was going to go south and I didn't want to read it happen. If you make a sequel, that is up to you. Personally, I would like to see the process of Trixie becoming 'the most humble mare in all Equestria'.
Good thing Equestria is about to have a desperate need for a Dreamguard...
Wow, Hoopy, that was amazing! I want to add your dream realm to my real world head cannon... Please, do continue.
8107488
...with a rubber codfish
very nice depiction of Trixie
I like that she was not imediately reformed, but it suggests it is a graduate and difficult process
Really hope to see a sequel
Dreamlands have potential.
8102225 Really? I find it to be obvious. I just have no idea how to explain it properly...
It's kind of like the difference between high school and college. In HS, you basically just memorize a bunch of facts and are tested on how well you can recall said facts. It isn't until college (late college even), that you start to use your knowledge in a practical way or in the field.
A.K.A. It doesn't matter how much you know if you don't know how to use it properly.
There's a scene later in Star Trek Enterprise that shows this well: the engineer is teaching some students about engines and says that something should be kept within 3 units of the standard number. One of the students says the book says 5. Answer? 5 isn't good enough.
Basically, she's not gaining any experience with her knowledge. Which might not have been so bad if it wasn't so dangerous for her.
I have no idea if this helps at all, I just hope it doesn't make it worse.
8108233 I have no idea what you are talking about with the 'Star Trek' reference? What I get from your explanation is that she gets how to do it but not what to do? That doesn't make sense. Just like you can't get job experience without working at the job, but you can't work at the job without having experience in it.
8108318 The Star Trek example just happened to fit almost perfectly with what I was trying to say.
So, I had, like almost 1000 words I was gonna post, but they basically just rehashed the same thing; Trixie was learning the how to be a dreamguard, but not the why.
8108389 Wasn't she told the why, like everyone else, when she joined?
8109228 Sure, but that doesn't mean she understands. This is a super common trope really. Have you not read a story where the main character is told not to do something, their response is something along the lines of "sure, sure, whatever." They then proceed to do said thing, and it blows up in their face somehow. They get hurt, a friend gets hurt/killed, they unleash an ancient evil, they ruin someone's life (puka) somehow, etc. Then, after their fck up, they go "Oooooh, THAT'S why I'm not supposed to do that. Maybe I should listen to the person who knows what they're doing..." or something similar.
8109283 I understand the troupe. That's very common. What I'm trying to get through my thick skull is what did Luna mean by that sentence. I get the learning skill quickly part. It's the not learning wisdom part that is throwing me off. When I think of wisdom, I think of learning from life's experiences. How can you learn if you never get the chance to do.
...
Maybe we should just PM this discussion. I think we've taken up a good portion of the comments with this chapter.
8091609
So, a Dream Flumph.
I actually think Luna is a bit wrong here.
I think Trixie is strong enough to sustain the Puka as well as keeping herself sound. Both of them made mistakes, but they could still be friends if managed correctly.
One thing Trixie should have known as a unicorn and one involved in dreams is to at least look at her own well from time to time. Mine actually manifests as a swimming pool. I can put siphons essentially to keep my workings going without my active attention, at different levels so I can't take my energy down below certain levels. It can be murky or clear. Things can end up floating in it and need to be skimmed. It does need to be cleaned at times.
Your weaves are actually quite interesting as a primary form of shield does need to be layered, as many as hundreds of layers. This is not the same as a combat situation where one might use visualization to change an attack into a style for which one has a defense.
I also have essentially a baseball bat construct which works similarly to your injunction spear thing, as a banishment device.
Sorry I've been busy enough to first miss this publication and then not get into it until it was complete. But it was worth the wait. As usual, great character and worldbuilding, and evocative imagery (dreams are usually great for that). Curious to see how any of this may affect the rest of the Sunflower universe down the line (yes, including more Puka
).
I wonder... what sort of entity did Luna give her fears and anger and jealousy to that became Nightmare Moon?
8112934 Nah, emotions to those sprites seem to be like heroin.
They're intensely addictive, to the point where more become needed not because it feels good... but simply to stop the pain of being without them.
I really quite enjoyed this story. I do hope you can continue a sequel. Perhaps involving more of the Dreamguard Cadets when they become further along in their training?
Incredible, amazing, and completely worth the read... and the follower you just got!
a) Welcome back, Hoopy!
b) Luna would have her mop The Threshold were it possible.
c) I'm reminded of the action movie trope where the cop is chewed out by his commander for not obeying orders, but completes his mission.
(See TV Tropes / Da Chief)
OK... Not a valid comparison...Trixie will be more 'By the book' for a while.
Thoroughly fascinating in both setting and plot, especially the parallels between Luna and Trixie. I'm very glad I read this. Thank you for it.
Oh Trixie...
I would love to see more if even simple side stories of this universe. Good stuff. Also, poor Puka. Sure, we all saw where this was heading. But still, poor Puka.
Fun and engaging fic. I really couldn't pull myself away.
8102225
I read that as Trixie quickly learning how to do things, but being a bit slow on learning why and when to do or not do those things.
Wow this was... the way you described so much of this story was breathtaking.
I sincerely agree with many of the others in that this feels more like a beginning, like a Part one then a complete adventure. There is so much more that could be explored in this world, and so much more that Trixie, Smidgen and Luna could experience in the process.
I guess I will have to join the crowd hoping for a sequel some day
It's over already?! HOW IS THERE NOT MORE!?
WE I MUST HAVE MOAR!! T___________________T
Also I LOVE Pukka <3
Finally got around to reading this. A lovely short-ish story! Ambition can lead to your downfall... and as Puka has displayed, even those who want to genuinely help can get corrupted.
I felt so bad for the little thing though. She really only wanted to help, but it led her to danger. And pain.
Well, lessons have to be learned the hard way, and, not always can the damage be reversed.
Good read!
Ah, a happy ending... Although, it would be interesting to cut to a point where she's full-on Dreamguard....
A good story as usual. I'd like to see more in this continuity (but more Sunflower first, please).
Another great one, man. So much development, so well-written. Definitely worth reading again.
A wonderful read indeed.
Lesson learned and Adventure started
8359626
i.imgur.com/Q5NnBt9.png
8359647
I'm also surprised this is the end, since it definitely feels like there should be more of this.
But then again I'm guessing that's going to happen in the main fic.
Trixie, you done fucked up!
Yet, great to see Luna trying to help her. Not letting her get off scot free, but also seeing that she's learned from the mistake. Also, amazing how there really wasn't a villain, the poor creature really was trying to help, but just, was to alien to really do it right and Trixie hurt it as much as he hurt her. Damn fine story all around.
As many others gave expressed, I would love for there to ve a sequel to this excellent story.
Very nice story. just about my favorite Trixie story.