you... you son of a bitch... TT

These... these feels

Don't

Don't...

God. *ucking. Dam-dam ii-i i-itt!

You son of a bitch! When you said 'she married into the family', I thought you were talking about Fluttershy!

It's a good story. Perhaps I didn't cry, but it tugged at the heartstrings. It leaves me with a nice, fuzzy feeling. Thank you.

Wow only 7 likes and your on EqD? I gota read this.

That is all.

I'm a teetotaler. I don't drink. This is one of the few stories that makes me want to. *Uprate and Fav*

Heh, just as good as the first time I read it. Honestly, this one made me feel; made me feel hard.

So sad and great at the same time. I'm on the verge of tears. Great job!

I can't stop crying. I'm out of tears, but I'm crying out blood because of my body's biological need cry from the sadness I am feeling

That was so beautiful... I had to hold back tears so nobody could see me cry.

I leave the bouquet and an envelope by her headstone and make my way home.

If that wasn't a sucker punch then I don't know what is.

>>12140611214061

The nice thing about EqD is that it catches things that FimFiction won't catch - FimFiction requires an eye-catching description, hook, etc which may come at the cost of deeper elements. Meanwhile, EqD stories get a spot all by themselves and has QC so the reader will expect something good and dive in.

That's why you can see more longfics on EqD, and more oneshots on FimFic.

meanwhile, deviant art is crying in the corner

Very poignant and quite beautiful. Pinkie's introspection is a lot more toned down than usual, but that really helps capture the creeping influence of age. All in all, very well done and a solid four stars.

Pssh, this ain't sad no more with your fancy new ending. :P

Oh, I'm crying now.

That was simply heartbreaking. It's so hard to address the fact that everyone loses their youth, especially the happy go lucky ponies we know so well.

And yet it had such a wonderful tinge of happiness that I just couldn't help but keep reading, because our beloved characters are still there, even if they're just older.

Ah, this was a fantastic story.

Good thing I read this at night. It would be awkward to explain to my family why my eyes are blood-shot and I've got a runny nose.

That was beyond amazing.

Utterly beautiful.  

Wow these feels

You know, I don't get emotional too easily. Read through My Little Dashie and thought it was tripe.

DANG if this didn't get me misty eyed though! Very well written, my congrats! Excuse me while I go get this dirt out of my eye...

It's difficult to imagine such lighthearted characters such as our favorite ponies as becoming old and losing their youth to time but it is a beautiful thing that they are still together and still think of each other. This was absolutely amazing and I liked looking into Pinkie's thoughts as she realizes that she's not as young as she used to be and that making others smile isn't as easy for her as it once was. The fragility of life is such a touchy subject for some and it's even sadder knowing that our mane 6 will have to experience it as well. Thank you for this insightful story and I certainly hope that this won't be your last.

"Fluttershy is silent."

You son of a... no, no, no, you didn't... please tell me you didn't...

*finishes reading*

I love these stories as much as I hate them.  Good job, good choices all around.

You bitch.  I honestly cried at the Fluttershy part.

Very very thoughtful and emotional story, no other world could fit this type of story the best.

Friendship is Forever.

Thank You.

All the feels...

I cant believe Fluttershy was the first one to go.

The feels... They are there. They make me wanna cry... Great story.

I very much enjoyed this. Well done.

You killed Fluttershy.

You f*cking killed Fluttershy.

WHY?!

YOU KILLED FLUTTERSHY!

I'LL KILL YOU IF IT KILLS ME!

Man, I hope you get this is a joke.

This is beautiful. Thanks!

Very nice.

*long review alert*

I thought the story was quite good overall.  You do a good job of weaving poetic description and genuine emotion into your story, with subtle storytelling and good vocabulary.  I will say that this kind of story isn't terribly hard to do, and that it's common fare in fanfics, since it plays on such universal sentiments.   But that being said, this particular ‘looking back’ tale is done particularly well.  It’s fairly short, but it does a good job building a story with the scope it takes.  It avoids the major pitfalls of becoming overly maudlin, or getting too wrapped up in particular details. What it does do is build emotional weight to tell a compelling story.

The strength of this story is its sense of ennui and emotional heartache with the march of time.  Fitting it through Pinkie makes it that much more potent, and you do a good job showing time's emotional and physical tinge against her naiveté of youthful exuberance.  In other words, it makes it a sadder tragedy that even a seemingly ageless character like Pinkie would have to acknowledge the weight of time's passing.

My critiques are minor.  One thing, perhaps it’s a small point, but an exact timeframe is never explicitly established.   Maybe it doesn’t need to be established, but it always seems preferable to me to have as clear a sense as possible of the story setting as possible.

I felt the parts with Fluttershy were the best parts of the story.  It’s so wonderfully written, and the emotional ache of connectedness that they had.  Somehow though, I felt the fact that she was dead just didn't ring right.  At the very least, if she had passed, I felt we needed some more details of her passing.  

Rarity was enjoyable, though perhaps a bit vague and generic about her life.  It seems to hint at her having over-expended herself in her life, though it doesn’t say why.  Rainbow Dash was also very nice.  The thought of her being a living eulogy was wonderfully tender, and her stubborn personal pride, though not unexpected, was done well.  Applejack’s portion was nice, though I felt it lacked specificity.  The course of her life seems believable and expected, but there’s not much sense of emotional connection between the two, or anything particular about her development.

Another thing I found missing, at least in my opinion, was any reference to families they may have had (spouses, children, etc).  Again, I realize that this may have been a personal choice by the author, and to be fair, the show itself is also notorious for not providing much fodder for this area.  But the story feels lacking without at least something about it.

The one thing I thought was truly disappointing was the ending.  It felt too abrupt, emotionally and lengthwise.  First off, after getting such a long emotional take with each of the other four ponies, I was disappointed we didn't get similar treatise with Twilight.  Secondly, by ending the story right on the party, it felt hollow, and too sudden of an emotional turn.  That's not to say the story can't have the party, but it really felt like the story needed to have a more complete resolution.  Some level of reconcilation, or some emotional catharsis, something to acknowledge all that's happened, and the empathy and connectedness they all still desire to share.

Wow, that was lengthy!   Thanks for writing, it was a enjoyable read.  I appreciate the effort you people put into writing these stories, so I enjoy giving them these long reviews in return.

p.s.  A couple of metaphors I found that didn’t work well:  “a canon can launch decorations but never sharing,” and “tea as bitter as the memories.”

I leave the bouquet and an envelope by her headstone and make my way home.

My feels man! This is not a happy way to start the day!

But it was a beautiful story.

You know how in those crazy-long shonen anime like Dragon Ball Z or Bleach, the characters will stand around talking smack about power levels?  And then the new enemy or whatever  rolls in and his power level just makes everyone stand around gawping for a while?

That just happened to me.  I read your synopsis and skimmed the comments, and I know--I know--that this story will utterly wreck me.

I've got better things to do tonight than sob uncontrollably, so I'm going to let this lie for now.  Just wanted to salute your terrifying power.  

My feels hurt.

In a more serious sense, I love it.  It's got a perfect tone, kind of sad and looking back.  Faved.

DAMN YOU

NOW I HAVE TO CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP

Very poignant indeed.

Storys about Pinkie or Rainbow Dash growing old give me feels, because those two you can't really think of them getting old and slowing down, I mean its Pinkie and Rainbow Dash their not meant to be old.

Nice story though.

I must say, a remarkable story.

The last section really, really brings it together Ebon. PInkie's section was upbeat, but the party just, I dunno, brings it together somehow.

You're trying to kill me.

You're trying to kill me because you want my stereo.

That has to be it. Why else would you have broken my heart in so many little, tiny, pony shaped pieces?

On a serious note, the story is fantastic. I cried. Ye gods, how sad, and made all the more so by the truth behind the story. A truth we will all have to face for ourselves someday. Well done.

Tired, y u no featured?  Many many more views than the featured stories.

My reaction to Fluttershy's death: Fuck.............

Wonderful story, EbonMane; sad and joyful at the same time, melancholy and very conscious about the passing of the time, but never wasting time on regrets or denial.

I was impressed by your use of Pinkie Pie as the narrator. She has matured, a lot, but she remains herself. Well done!

Oh...oh my....

My feels... they hurt so much

Wonderful story as always. If I try to say anything else i'll just make a mess of it.

I can sum this up in one word: Beautiful.

Great job. A poignant tale that really tugs on the ol' heartstrings.  

Now... where did I leave that box of Kleenex?

Brb, got something in my eye.

That was really beautiful, great job. You seem to have a talent for the introspective.

Interesting. I liked it.

I didn't get feels, but it was very well done. Good touch on the whole Fluttershy thing... lends itself to a touch of reality, and sadness. Pinkie Pie is a true friend to the end.

There's that Twilight scene I wanted so badly.

Nice work on this, Ebon.

"I leave the bouquet and an envelope by her headstone and make my way home."

Image: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9uq986vEA1reg7d2o1_500.gif

The tone...the tone! You wrote this perfectly.

You are amazing.

And I am blubbering.

I think my tear ducts are broken, because I know I should have been crying, what with all those feels tugging at me. Especially that part with fluttershy.

Great job on this though.

Reviewed your story: [Link]

>>12231201223120

<3

I'M IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION!

Image: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XQTl20LaNaw/TcAxMSdt1xI/AAAAAAAABU4/kecMDEVeISw/s1600/glass_case_of_emotion.gif

I cried, it was beautiful. Thank you.

That was beautiful. It was written perfectly - it flowed, the emotion felt real, and the characters were heartbreaking in how much they resembled, but could no longer be, their younger selves. Thanks for a touching, thought provoking read.

good piece of writing personally i thought it would have been twilight. Mostly because she likes to experiment

The mare in the mirror is certainly more obsessive than I am; she hasn’t stopped copying me in decades.

>>12159551215955 I also cried at the end. Love the ending.

What you have written here isn't a fan-fic. Its poetry, utter and pure. Made me feel a bit more mortal. I can only imagine the sorrow the six friends have, especially with the loss of fluttershy   you sir, are a real artist. I tip my hat to you and wish you future success.

You've earned double mustaches.    Wear them with pride

I love the descriptions of each of the characters portrayal...the have such refined aging of stories that once were. Through some have this empty gap probably because I believe they needed more details in there backstories....but very well written and the idea to use Pinkie Pie was utterly spoton decision...I had the feels when I saw the very end to the visit with fluttershy just saying because it hit me surprisingly out of nowhere

Even in their weakest moments, even in their old age, even if one of them has passed, that doesn't stop the remaining friends from being so. A very heartwarming story with powerful emotion, and while I did not weep, I certainly felt a pang in my chest, especially with Fluttershy. Darn man, taking away my favorite pony. You better watch it next time. *grins* Anyway, gorgeous writing, especially with twisting these innocent ponies into weakened characters that still can maintain a strong friendship.

Dammit! I was reading this at work and when i got to the end of Fluttershy's section I had to leave the room so as to not cry in front of my cowworkers. Good show, old chap.

It is a rare and wonderful thing you have done here.

There are countless [sad] stories in the ponyverse, and many of them live up to their billing well enough. However, startlingly few of these can be described as "subtle", and even fewer can be described as "sophisticated". Yet here you are, taking on a trope as old as your characters and doing so with a sublime grace that leaves me hanging on every word. This is a story that deserves attention. Very well done.

Oh, yes; it was sad too. That, I think, is beside the point; you could write furniture assembly instructions and I would read them.

>>11816921181692

>>12144181214418

>>12175111217511

>>12142241214224

>>12222651222265

Thank you all so much for helping me turn this from a rough draft into a finished fic. It wouldn't be nearly as good as it is without the feedback you guys gave me.

>>12512201251220

You're always welcome! :3

DO. NOT. CRY~!

I WILL NOT CRY!

WHY!?

WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

*sniff*

This has got to be my favorite pony story. It makes me cry in a good way

I composed a piano piece heavily inspired by this story, that's how much I loved it.

>>13764981376498

Wow. This is awesome, and you are awesome. Thanks so much for sharing it! I'm glad I could provide some inspiration.

>>13767911376791

Thank you, I'm very happy you enjoyed it, although it's I who should be thankful. Thanks for writing this fantastic story!

This is absolutely beautiful. I can't find anything to complain about. The grammar was perfect, the flow was excellent, the characterization was beautiful, the atmosphere was dismal and cheerful and everything, and the entire story was just awesome! Definitely one of the best I've ever read. Thank you very much for writing this.

I was fine until the last line of Fluttershy's section.

That hit me like a Celestiadamned ton of bricks.

That was a HUGE dollop of pure and

oh Fluttershy....:

Your best work. Wow.

Ouch. Right in the feels.

I was fine 'till I read the alst line of Flutter's. Not crying, but tearing up a little. Nice story.

OMG man I love you. This story was damn near perfection