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When you have so little, and another has so much, it’s easy to justify theft. The more precious the commodity, the easier it is to tell yourself you need it more than they do. And what is more precious than time?

First Published
28th Jun 2013
Last Modified
28th Jun 2013
#1 · 77w, 1d ago · 4 · · Chapter 5 ·

Daisy... Daisy...

#2 · 77w, 1d ago · 9 · 1 · Chapter 5 ·

So so disturbing. Stealing one's life because you're afraid to die? I think I've heard of that one before, just not in this format. Still an enjoyable read, even if we still left with so many unresolved issues for the ponies.

#3 · 77w, 1d ago · 6 · · Chapter 1 ·

OK, I admit that this beginning is very confusing. There's a lot of questions and you don't really give us any clues as to what the answers are. Now, if you're holding off for later chapters, ok, I can get that, but this is going to be a major turn off for some people.

#4 · 77w, 1d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

I liked this story. Perhaps not enough to save it to my flash drive, but definitely a thumbs-up.

It's got good prose, a spooky premise, a mysterious build-up which is even better in retrospect, and nice bittersweet ending. It's pretty much all I could want in this type of short story.

And I've always been a sucker for stories with the "We Are As Mayflies" theme.

EDIT: Aw, what the hell, to the flash drive with thee.

#5 · 77w, 1d ago · 2 · · Chapter 2 ·

So... who is this Tick Tock pony? Is it someone that they know, or knew by the sounds of it? Again, I'm really confused by what's going on and can't figure out the story.

#6 · 77w, 1d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

It was captivating enough I wish the story would've gone more in depth. I'd have liked to see the interaction with Celestia, and more about Rainbow Dash's perspective

#7 · 77w, 1d ago · 3 · · Chapter 4 ·

:rainbowderp: ....Ok, all that slow buildup and confusion was worth it. This... this is amazing.

#8 · 77w, 1d ago · 1 · · Chapter 5 ·

Holy bleeping bleepity bleep, that's dark.

#9 · 77w, 1d ago · 1 · · Chapter 5 ·

I think that what is left unsaid is as chilling as the foreground text.

After a certain point it hits home that no one is really going to be recovering from this.

#10 · 77w, 1d ago · 1 · · Chapter 5 ·

That is dark. And...complicated. There are, after all, no true...villains, in a way. Things that are wrong, for certain, but...

#11 · 77w, 1d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

This.... this develops in an amazing way---Applejack is really underappreciated as a POV---and by the time you understand all that's happened... it's sickening. This fic doesn't just pull you in from the beginning. It doesn't doesn't let go either.

You are REALLY good at stories like this, and for all this ending has a "positive" outcome, it's easy to feel as wracked by the plot---and it's lack of an absolute "villain" (or an absolute moral)---as its characters are.

I know I said I was really looking forward to more IFIWT, but this was an unexpected and TOTALLY quality fic all on its own.

#12 · 77w, 1d ago · 3 · · Chapter 5 ·

>>2794138

We are robbed of certainty and closure as much as they are.

#13 · 77w, 1d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

>>2791425

Give me your answer, do...

>>2791622

I mostly wrote this as a break from the two sprawling epics I'm currently working on, so I wanted to keep it nice and self-contained. Besides, leave something to the imagination. :twilightsmile:

>>2791980

See the above. Plus, hey, gotta  have something for the sequel. :rainbowwild:

>>2793499

No, Tick Tock is pretty much the villain. A sympathetic villian, one who maybe isn't evil per-se, but stealing Twi-Twi's body does pretty much make him the antagonist.

In the first draft, the entire story was written from his/her POV, but it got sickeningly hard to write at the point where Tick Tock was dating RD. Poor RD. :raritydespair:

>>2794138

Aww. Thank you! :twilightsmile:

For the record, the next chapter of IFIWT will be drafted this week, and will probably need a week after that to be fully edited.

#14 · 77w, 22h ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

>>2795466

For the record, the next chapter of IFIWT will be drafted this week, and will probably need a week after that to be fully edited.

We've heard that one before! :scootangel:

#15 · 77w, 22h ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

>>2796178

Yeah, but this time I'm only lying a little bit.

#16 · 77w, 4h ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

:rainbowderp:.....

So... so...

I...

:rainbowderp:...

#17 · 76w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

Excellent story. It has a strong theme, and it doesn't just coast on it. It improves it. All the pieces come together for a memorable conclusion. The characters are all more complex than they first appear. Words aren't wasted in the setup, and every scene is a vivid picture with its own significance.

If you've started reading and are worried the story seems directionless, keep going. You're missing out on something important if you stop. There's a lot of subtle points in the conclusion that perhaps not everyone will notice at first, but it hit home with me.

#18 · 76w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

Maybe now's a good time to let you know that you're currently my favorite author.

Brilliant name choice, by the way.

#19 · 76w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

>>2799635

Yes.

:trollestia:

>>2815937

Thank you! means a lot to me. :pinkiehappy:

>>2820575

I, uh, er... :twilightsheepish:

Thank you. :twilightsmile:

Alternate rejected title? Stealing Sunshine.

#20 · 76w, 2d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

>>2822259

Tick Tock's name*

#21 · 76w, 2d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

I finally got around to reading this. Holy shit.:twilightoops:

Unlike that one guy, I can't say that your my favorite author on this site, but with this fic you have reached a solid third.

#22 · 76w, 2d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

>>2822939

Heey, you deleted that awesome comment!

Well, I liked it, and I'm glad your friend liked it. :twilightsmile:

#24 · 76w, 1d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

>>2826873

I can't have that guy putting one and zero together to find out who this is :moustache: I've read some embarassing things on this account.

#25 · 76w, 1d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

I say he's a body snatcher, and he has been living inside of Twilight:twilightoops:

#26 · 76w, 1d ago · · · Chapter 4 ·

Pony-snatcher, nailed it.  Oh I am good :ajsmug:

#27 · 76w, 1d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

A great story, chilling and sad on a level that touches my heart.  I've always been vary empathetic, and when you see a person slipping into the void, cold and naked to deaths inevitable offing, even if you don't love or even like them, you will feel for them, not pity, but empathy.  They are desperate, cold and alone in the dark, trying to hold onto anything, not wanting to die and be forgotten.  And if you loved them, and had been wronged by them, then there are so many kinds of pain fighting over each other in your heart for the chance to hurt you.  

Sorry, I talk to much.  Please do try to give IFIWT a happy ending, I've been reading far more sad endings then is healthy for me.

#28 · 76w, 13h ago · 1 · · Chapter 5 ·

Is there anymore? Or is this it?

I really like it, and would appreciate some more explaining………

#29 · 75w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

>>2834790

That's it - for now.

What confused you?

#30 · 75w, 6d ago · 1 · · Chapter 5 ·

>>2840878

I think i just want to know what happens afterwards:twilightblush:

#32 · 75w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

>>2842206

So your saying there is a sequel?…………:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

#33 · 75w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

>>2842341

it is on the list. :twilightsmile:

#35 · 75w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

Woah... This was... something for sure

#36 · 70w, 1d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

That was really, really good! Heck, I'd like to see a lot more. Sequel! Excerpts from the 2 years! RD's perspective through the story! Everything! :pinkiehappy:

#37 · 66w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

Ouch... That was...

I'm not sure how to say it.

That was definitely an interesting read, Good premise, good writing.

The opening was pretty confusing, though, like I'd walked in five minutes after you'd started telling the story and there were bits I didn't get.

Still, good work. :twilightsmile:

#38 · 66w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

>>3189607

Aww, thank you! I do understand your concerns -- it was a bit of an experiment -- but I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Also, the other stuff is coming along. Promise. :scootangel:

#39 · 66w, 1d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

>>2791824 So far, I've got:

- Rainbow & Pinkie were an item in the past

- Rainbow & Twilight were an item recently

- Rainbow & Tick Tock may have been together sometime between that

- Tick Tock was close with the Mane 6 in the past, a past that doesn't mention Twilight

- Twilight's bedroom was full of mechanisms probably built by Tick Tock

- The story description suggests Tick Tock has been "stealing time" from Twilight

- This may have caused whatever is wrong with Twilight

My best guess is something like >>2829459's: Tick Tock took Twilight's place somehow. Tick Tock isn't a unicorn, but has strong analytic ability. His name could indicate skill building devices, in which case he could have mechanized magic. Or it could relate to time, in which case the "body snatching" could be rewriting the past.

#40 · 66w, 1d ago · 12 · · Chapter 4 ·

I’ve spent my whole life doing the right thing—doing what a pony is supposed to do. All it did was waste my life. With you six... you do the right thing and it all ends well. That’s not how it works with other ponies. You give away everything you have for other ponies and all it means is you’ve got nothing left.

Tick Tock is the protagonist and the antagonist, the hero and the villain,  the most and least sympathetic character of this story. You aren't taking the easy way out here.

#41 · 66w, 1d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

>>3200549

That was the idea! I'm glad you appreciate it. :twilightsmile:

There were a lot of little ways I feel I could have rendered him better, but at the core, I really like this story. I'm glad you do too!

#42 · 65w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

Well. After scrounging around for a few minutes, I think I finally found the right word to describe this story: Haunting. In the best possible sense of the word.

In the interest of keeping things short, I'll just list off a few of my thoughts.

This was possibly the best example I've seen of a tragic hero (even if he wasn't the POV character) on this site. I loved how little of the background was spelled out for us; I had to think carefully and piece together what I knew in order to figure out what was going on. The way the plain, ordinary flow of the story contrasted with the horrifying subject material was brilliant, and made reading it that much more unnerving. And that last chapter, all 300-odd words of it... Damn.

Simply put, this story was good.

#43 · 65w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

Mother of Celestia.....

Even before the dungeon scene I couldn't help but feel sorry for Tick Tock. I'm only 25 myself but the thought has been plaguing me lately of what kind of legacy I'm going to leave behind. I really connected with him on a deep level and the fact that I've failed people that were important to me as well as been failed by people puts me in a situation where I can understand every characters emotions much more deeply than I really care to. I cant help but dwell on Dashie's feelings in all of this. Shes alot like me, I would rather deal with things on my own and in my own time. If I come to a friend with a problem its because I've found myself in something serious. How will she and Twilight's relationship be affected by this? How can she look at Twilight as just her friend again afterwards? I couldn't see myself not resenting Twilight afterwards even if it wasn't something she could have had any control over. I guess I'll cut this short but in closing I'd just like to thank you for writing this piece. It's given me alot to think about. As someone else said, I think the best word to describe this story is "haunting"..

Comment posted by jpff deleted at 4:17pm on the 17th of September, 2013
#45 · 65w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

Ohhhhh man.

The foreshadowing without giving it away dude!

And dropping it like that in the later chapters, so casually but we actually got the blanks filled in and...damn.

Have you had any thoughts on RD and TS's first interaction once she's awake again?

#46 · 65w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

Also I'd like to make comment on how much I like your writing style. Your pacing is slow but steady and gives just enough for direction while letting out minds fill in the rest.

#47 · 65w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

>>2791824

My guess is that he's the brown stallion with the hourglass cutie mark, the one fans often say is The Doctor from Doctor Who.

#48 · 65w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

>>3214146

No, he's entirely an OC.

#49 · 65w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

>>3212148

Wow, thank you! This was a bit of an experiment for me, so I wasn't really sure how it would turn out. If you enjoy [Dark] fics, you might like my other story, Siren Song. Otherwise, I look forward to unnerving you in the future!

>>3212926

Thank you kindly sir. I am considering writing a sequel where we get to see how Twilight and Dashie deal with each-other after, but, perhaps not. Some things are better left imagined.

>>3213615

That word. "Nice." I do not think it means what you think it means.

>>3213774

>>3213777

That's really good to hear! This was an experiment in a different writing style for me, so I'm glad it worked well. And yes, I actually have plans for a full sequel where we get to see Twi/RD's relationship. I may not write it though -- I feel like it might be better left to the reader's imagination.

>>3214146

Nope! OC.

#50 · 65w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

This was a beautiful story, and one of the best ways I could imagine spending the evening.

The feels... the feels...

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