My life was an average life, nothing exciting, nothing eventful, I just lived life. I talked to no one and had few childhood friends back when I had my innocence.(don't ask just say bad influences around me) I always felt like I didn't belong in this world, and sometimes would have suicidal thoughts because of that feeling. I would never go through with it, I'm to weak to end everything (including stories).
But thats a good thing, if I did end it all then I would never of gone to my dream world, Equestria.
------------------------------------------------------------------
This is my first PUBLISHED story so please don't go easy on me point out any mistakes and I will fix them. Expect random updates it could be one every day to one a never. It all depends if I got nothing else to do and I can't find anything else to read. Don't expect clop it wouldn't be good trust me I tried.
Oh great, it's one of those stories. Look, I'll just out and say it - this type of story (angsty, depressed, mentally traumatized teen goes to Equestria and mounts Fluttershy) is generic as hell. Even the humanXFluttershy ship is oversold. It's not super poorly written, but I can't see to give this anything simply because of the fact that there are literally a million of these exact stories on this site.
933399 This type of fic just makes me tired. Stuff like this is what takes the fun out of reading. It's okay, but there are so many of these that it feels like my reviewing is like throwing sand in the face of a tidal wave.
933430
I hear you... Pretty soon people will be complaining that Mr. Ignorable's reviews are getting as samey as the stories he's lambasting!
Well, here's my opinion on this fucking story.
WHAT THE HELL?!?! CAN'T YOU GET ANYMORE ORIGINAL THAN THIS?!?! BRONY IN EQUESTRIA IS SO UNORIGINAL!
Alright, end of the rant. Now let's move on to my real opinion.
So first of all, like TheBandBrony said, the main character is angst, depressed, and blah blah blah...Many stories have this same character's personality in their main characters, but why not have a different personality for him? It just gets too old...
For your future stories, make sure you implant this...
Be creative and have a lot of originality in the story, also, the main character should have a unique but not overused personality. Also, no Brony in Equestria because it's overused.
Otherwise, that's about it.
Be creative and have a lot of originality in the story. The main character should have a unique but not overused personality. Human in Equestria is overused. But I like what you have. Warp it a bit then you'll have something cool
-Muxix311
damnit its one of those stories that make you cry and then they start fucking ponies at first i was like
then i was like 
then i was like 
933702 do you wan't to know my life story i got pushed down in the bathroom every day in school by teachers and got the shit kicked out of me in the bathroom floor while teachers stand around me kicking me and laughing in my sorrow they nearly killed me BUT DID I GO TO EQUESTRIA NO
meh its good and bad at the same time but word of advise as a reader
*try to be more discriptive * i spelled that wrong did'nt i..... ._. i suck at spelling
I've read all the comments so far and well not what I was hoping for and as for description yeah I suck at that too but now do you think this story is a lost cause or is it just need a little edit.
933399 oh hell no sorry not doing that to Fluttershy
You guys are fucking cruel!! So what, who the hell cares! You read a story because it interests you not to bag on it like the assholes you are. Give it a rest and up yours!!!
"I felt like I didn't belong in this world, like I was meant for another world. But I never told anyone that I always kept it to myself, I mean who would understand a feeling like that."
Everyone, literally, everyone, has at some point, felt as if they don't belong, to think otherwise, is arrogant.
"But I do have another 'shoulder' to cry on. A little doll of Fluttershy that I made I used a old Simba doll and some other supplies to make it."
I'm an honest man, so i'll be honest with you, I lol'd, I lol'd SO hard.
Anyways, I stopped reading at about that point, but let me give you some constructive advice. Try writing a story that is interesting, and other people will wish to take the time out of their day to read, as opposed to a self insert story, that is created to please nobody but yourself.
It could be better, although there were quite a few missing commas, also,
A little doll of Fluttershy that I made I used a old Simba doll and some other supplies to make it. My little Dashie? The main character made a Rainbowdash with a simba doll. ._.
In all honesty this concept is rather overused, but I don't care because I like this concept.
This is decently written and has a few obvious spelling errors but not to the point of being obnoxious. Then again, I'm more of a reader and not a writer so I don't really have much room to talk. I look forward to updates.
934032 Newsflash: Unoriginality doesn't interest us.
935302 and you can go fuck yourself sir
935445 Hey, when you're done kissing the author's ass, slip it the tongue for me.
935452And you need to regain your soul you heartless bastard, nuff said
935455 And you need to regain your intelligence, nuff said.
935458 HA! What good about integelligence if you don't have a heart and the mind to overlook things to see beauty underneath the somewhat common story
935466 Feel free to look at my list of favorites. There's plenty of beauty in those stories. This is the same angsty brony meets his favorite MLP character story that we've seen thousands of times before with seemingly no discernible differences to set it apart from the others. This fanfic has about as much beauty as a Katherine Heigl rom-com.
935491 but you still can't seethe individualizium and the love, time, and effort he or she put into making one of these story's. All I see is that you want perfection... unhumanized, unrealistic perfection
935513 You know how long it took me to write the first couple of chapters to my Worlds Apart fanfic? About 1 and 1/2 hours, and both of those chapters combined were 7000 or so words. It really doesn't take much to write a story, especially if you really enjoy it.
And I realize that perfection is unobtainable. Hell, I'm constantly changing little mistakes in my own fictions from time to time, so I realize that no author is perfect, including and especially myself. The thing is that the stories that go on to greater heights and better places are the stories that set themselves apart from the others in their respective genres.
When we say that we want more originality, we mean that as both a request for ourselves AND the author. We want stories that are interesting and diverse enough to warrant a full readthrough, and we want the author to create a story that will blow everyone's minds enough that it could eventually make it to the "Featured" bar.
The thing is though, is that the author looks like a good writer, but it pains us to see him writing a story that's so unoriginal, even beyond the cliche Brony in Equestria styled story.
Okay so what's up with all of the hate in these comments?
Seriously, does the phrase "Love and Tolerate" mean anything to anyone here?
If you truly love fanfiction than the amount of usage of a specific concept or lack thereof should not matter. What should matter is whether or not you enjoy the author's take on said concept/scenario. If you like it then read it, if you don't then don't read it!
However if you don't like it that doesn't mean to immediately bitch and moan about how it's unoriginal.
If you've enjoyed this fic so far then good for you and if you didn't then go and read something else. Now Sirs and/or Madams I bid you good day and happy reading!
Sincerely, William of Orange
I like alot so far man keep on writing
"A little doll of Fluttershy that I made I used a old Simba doll and some other supplies to make it."
My Little Dashie? Congratulations sir, you just made the most unoriginal story ever even MORE unoriginal.
I read the whole thing, and honestly, WARNING: incoming rant:
*GASP* The topic is old and overused, the character that is the love interest the most is overused, the whole story is overused, some of the writing was bland and had no flavor, some even left a bad tatse in my mouth, you're grammar is okay but some places need rechecking, I've read others around this pairing before and, hell I'm even writing one, but this thing with those are the fact that they have originality, try looking over some other fanfics in your genre to get ideas on how to make it original. aaaannnnnd done. I see potential in your writeing, all you need to do is just relax, and let more original content flood your mind and try to let that flow from you to the story, it also help if you put as much work into some of these as you would for a writing project at school (one of my stories on a different website WAS for my english final project) and just have fun with it,
939322
actually i was thinking of doing that in the near future if I can get my sister to part with her simba doll and i never did read my little dashie yet.
but yeah I'll work on that.
but now that I'm checking again and seeing the positive feed back I have no problems with the bad
I'm not entirely sure if I'm able to do that I tend to take stuff from other stories I read unconsciously. The part of the Fluttershy doll made out of an old simba doll was thought up by me... but not really first. But thank you for taking your time to read this and I do hope to see you again.
940454 Thank you for your little rant it just might help me in the long run but Grammar has always been my mortal enemy
937987 well technically I asked for it and well I got it
.935513 Um actually I did this over a scattered amount of days with about an hour work two if i'm lucky so I didn't really work to hard on it this being a prototype and all
935575"The thing is though, is that the author looks like a good writer, but it pains us to see him writing a story that's so unoriginal, even beyond the cliche Brony in Equestria styled story." Really? anyways back to what I was going to say. Epsilonic Memory stated his opinion you should respect that oh and hell I don't really like this story that much either cause how bad my grammar and description skills are. But I am seeing a lot of positive reviews for this story and I am willing to continue it but Originality
934190 In all honesty so am I. I really just prefer reading fanfiction rather than writing it. But the fanfiction I look for is either hard to find or doesn't exist.
934077 Yeah I'm not what you call a social person, I really didn't have that much friends around 4th grade they just lost interest into how others feel. I can honestly say that I feel that way but not like that it was more of I belong in Equestria before I even knew what it was. And yes this is created to please myself that's kinda the point of it. I NEVER find anything like this I just wanted this story out here because I could never find one. Though I am sorry you did lose interest in the story I do hope you find a story that fits your tastes
Okay that should be all for right now I'll think over all these comments and decide whether or not I will continue (to post of course I'll keep writing just not scheduled). To those who liked my story and added to their favorites; Really I didn't expect people to like this that much.
x20 uugh I really didn't come up with it first. I have an entire story just like it only shorter and with a happy ending.
Anyways don't get your hopes up just yet. I only write when I have time and yeah any sugjestions will be greatly appreaciated but I will not be making this into a 'You are the chosen one' or a big as fight between a new enemy(I might make a small battle here and there but that's it) Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to read my little dashie. Edit: Oh God that was sad and also
I would say to keep the story like it is and with a bit better writing you could salvage it.
949897 true but it would be a lot easier on me and I'd be able to do it more often but at the same time it takes out the fun of making a new story. I'll wait for other opinions before i do anything
Story is generic blah blah blah. But really, with a few changes to the character and general plot, this could become an interesting read. I may hate the premise from overuse, but i want to see this continue (for some reason.)
934032 Well excuse me princess! Apparently critiquing is a no-no nowadays. I mean, why try to better authors when we could just blindly dry-hump the shit they make. I mean shit man, an internet user is annoyed we critiqued something, SOCIETY IS RUINED FOREVER!
images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/7500000/Sarcasm-sarcasm-7520043-500-500.jpg
937987 I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, i really am, but Love and Tolerance hasn't meant jack squat since it stopped being used for it's original purpose. Also, the only hate i could see came from Epsilonic memory, and that was directed towards the comments.
As much as I don't like seeing a story getting canceled, I thank you for at least giving a reason. Most of the stories I see just stop updating, no reason given at all.
I hate it when stories end, but if I find it salvageable, may I continue it?
950072 wow' rage king with the right wingyness gay! Stupid auto correct
This fic...is a perfect example of why you should take a deep breath and try again. Look, I'm not the most original person myself, I'll gladly admit that. However, what I've found is that a conventional premise can succeed if you mix in enough unconventional elements. Essentially, I'm telling you to think outside the box. Don't be afraid to be kooky, silly, or mind-bending. Think like Discord but with less insanity. Throw in something different from the usual formula and you'll turn the conventional into unconventional, which is much more interesting.
7037361 in all honesty this fic is just what was going on through my head at the time. Last time it involved a keyblader OC in equestria. Right now it's tearing a hole in reality and jumping dimensions to equestria just to be with Fluttershy. Maybe if I get a computer I'll start writing again, but for now I'll just stick to reading and going through my scenarios. Thanks for believing in me.