Xinrick
Joined 14th Nov, 2012 ·
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not to be rude but why isn't Keybearer on the Inspired list I did stat this whole thing? Just asking
8018585 Because, like the idiot I am, I have barely read your story. I really want to don't get me wrong and I will fix that but...just a 'derp' moment on my part.
8018591 Its fine
8018615 alright.
Nice start. A little fast paced but it's a good story. Will be watching in the future.
8019367 I kind of thought that
, but glad you liked it
8019374 Eh. sometimes fast paced is a good thing, you get the interesting parts faster. And thanks for the shout out about my story. It really means the world to me. and if you ever want to do a crossover, then just message me and we could work something out.
8019386 True but sometimes it feels like it's a bad thing(even though that at least one of my stories is fast), also your welcome
, and thank you so much, maybe sooner or later I can bring that up
is this a displaced story, or is this actually some kind of OC from Kindom Hearts, it looks like Displaced till now.
I'm still going to read this, but I wasn't sure which of the many stories I found yesterday I should start with.
8026880 I'm...not a hundred percent sure but where it originally came from it wasn't a Displaced story, given that it's less 'I found magic item from convention, oh now I'm in ponyville with kick ass powers' and the like
Whats with all these stories and harems?
8029549 because harems?
8029683 ...
that's not the answer I was looking for
"YOUR MUSIC IS SHIT MUSIC CAUSE ITS NOT MY MUSIC!!!!!" The protagonist needs to grow up.
I'm tempted to start keeping count of how many statements, questions, and answers you do this with and post them in the comment section each chapter.
Btw I'm ignoring a lot of the errors in this story, but if you are willing to take them as constructive criticism and use what I point out to improve, I would be willing to point them out. Be forewarned I will be brutally honest.
8029701 I have literally no idea, but I have it happen because it's good help in writing if I ever decided to make another story with harems so...there's that *shrugs
8029732 I'm surprised I haven't seen anyone point out all my fuck ups *shrugs*
8029709 Or maybe that's his personal view on music. Like there doesn't need to exist a song that say's 'baby' fifty times but apparently that gave a douche bag millions of dollars *shrugs*
8029722 I'd rather the comment section not be flooded with all my fuck ups thank you very much...
8029709 Dude, relax.
Tis no mess! This was madness! This was Sparta! ... wait, no, no... meh, madness and Sparta do go together. THIS WAS SPARTAN MADNESS!
8033431 Spartan madness made more sense then this weird shit.
8033445 Spartan madness was M rated for a reason, this was T rated madness.
8033449 true.
Hey, don't be upset. We love discord right? And he is random and caotic and a mess. We love messes. I love this mess of a chapter XD
8033682 thanks man
I would really like to have a extra story for all the sex scenes but if you don't want to write that it's okay love the Story though
8041179 Now I've thought about doing a little 'side story' that involved all my other stories whenever they had those scene's in them or mentioned them but sadly I'm just a...little too shy to do such a thing. Thanks for liking my story though
8041206
Maybe you could ask somebody else to do em for you? But that is just an option you don't really need to the story is good as it is. And I can't wait for the next chapter in this story and by the way any chance of an update in the story this makes no sense? And thanks for the quick reply
8041477 Alright. I'm waiting for Bio to finish with a little something something because Bio helps me write the story(or co write it either or) and all that stuff. Will there be a new chapter for 'This makes no sense'? Hopefully, but it's a little...ranty...
8041485 I don't have any problems with that and thanks again for the reply
Also I don't think anybody will hate you or bio for writing this "mess" which I don't conceive as one
8042338 Well no one has as far as I've noticed so there's that *shrugs*
Oh god, not this "Mayan Test" crap again...
8042415 Did you at least read the story before being all 'not this crap again'?
8043077
I did. It was yet another cliche fest where God, for some contrived reason, gives some random idiot the abilities of his or her favorite videogame and, instead of dumping said idiot into the center of a star, deposits them in Equestria so they can annoy the natives. And don't' get me started on the subpar writing...
Look, I understand that you're an amateur. That's okay; we were all amateurs at some point. In fact, don't consider this a failure; think of it as a learning experience: now you know how not to write a fic.
8043113 Ya know I've been waiting to see someone appear and tell me my story sucks ass, whether for actual reasons or just to be a dick...but I understand you don't like it and that's fine...
This is rather rushed. The protagonist just got revealed that he is a dream. This could have been a major plot point like it was in Final Fantasy X. Other things would be the summoning of a Nobody. I think it would have been better if he just would have explained it, considering normally him summoning such a creature would have led to questions about how he could do it. And him being a Nobody can also be a major plot point, which also makes me wonder if he will meet his heartless. Other than that the whole humble thing with him saying he isn't good enough for them didn't seem to fit that well there. Not to mention that this 'relationship' comes out of nowhere and progressed rather fast, considering they didn't really have any adventures together yet.
That's my critique and I hope it will be of help for you Author!
8043557 I understand and thank you for your opinion. Sorry if this story is rushed I'm trying to make it feel fine but...oh well. I just hope you at least liked it even if it's...well crap.
8043122
Thank you for understanding. Now, I need to listen to some awesome videogame music to wash the stench of stupid from my brain.
8043989 Um...you don't need to call me stupid...just saying...
8044022
Sorry, what I meant was that the fic itself was stupid, not you. I'm sure you're a nice, intelligent person.
8044064 Thank you and I'm sorry for assuming...thought that because you think my stories stupid I am in someway also being called stupid...just a thing that's always bothered me...but it's alright no need to apologize just me being an idiot...
8043607
Don't be too hard on yourself. As a writer I know how difficult it can be to get a story just right. Sometimes I feel that what I'm doing feels off too, despite my efforts of it to be just right.
8045247 yeah...
Core....you better not have touched Sora or Asura will deal with you. Why are you always manipulating everything.......oh cause you're the bad guy.
8047234 well yeah Core is a bad guy, but what happened to Sora is still up in the air as far as I know.
What didn't expect that Turn of events at the end
Wow i made a comment reload the site and the next chapter is available
8055825
8055833 alrighty then, still hope you liked the story
Hm wouldnt je kill himself if he kills God I mean he is an imagination of God right?