Cannon Conveyance

Twilight Sparkle invents a new form of transportation. Specifically, cannons. Cannons that look like barrels. Things proceed to happen. Things involving testing. Oh, and some minor explosions, too.

Set sometime during season five, which is why Starlight Glimmer isn't present.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 10 )

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Truffles

Truffles #1 · Mar 12th, 2017 · · ·

I did enjoy this, thank you!

And after the next attempt fails, she decides to simply try and reverse engineer the mirror gate magic into a convenient handheld gun that makes portals to get from point A to B instantly.

Disavowed ASH

Disavowed ASH #2 · Mar 13th, 2017 · · ·

Twilight using Nintendo logic. Mother of Celestia, I though this woul have ended in tears. But it ended in laughs, and some tears.

The Philosopher King

The Philosopher King #3 · Mar 13th, 2017 · · ·

Was expecting Donkey Kong Country. Got Ponies in cannons. Close enough.

No One and Nobody

No One and Nobody #4 · Mar 13th, 2017 · · ·

I'm reminded of the Gilligan's Island episode where they try to get Mr. Howell off the island to claim a reward.
Gilligan - "Skipper, how do you spell 'cannon'?"
Skipper - "C-A-N-N-O-N. Cannon... Cannon?!"
Gilligan - "Not a good idea, huh?"
Skipper - *shakes head*

Skyfall360

Skyfall360 #5 · Mar 23rd, 2017 · · ·

"It's a rocket!"

AHHHHHH OH GOD NOT A ROCKET

FTR2017

FTR2017 #6 · Nov 25th, 2017 · · ·

I'm faving this story for the concept alone.

And I'm giving it a thumbs' up for its hilarious premise.

Mine_Menace

Mine_Menace #7 · Nov 25th, 2017 · · ·

8571103
Heh, thanks!

Alzrius

Alzrius #8 · Jan 29th, 2018 · 2 · ·

I admit, I got a chuckle out of this story.

If comedy is absurdity, then to my mind some of the best comedy comes from when a completely ridiculous idea is played completely straight. That was the case here: one of Twilight's infrequent bouts of monomania is applied to the issue of trains being a less-than-perfect means of long-distance travel (and, of course, coal isn't clean), leading her to come up with Donkey Kong Country-style barrel-cannons. Which, when you stop to think about it, isn't really that hard to believe, since we've seen her whip up dimensional portals in less time. And then she wants her friends to give her new invention a try...

The story's major strength is how everypony acts almost exactly as they would on the show. While Twilight is slightly crazier than she was in Lesson Zero (it's a little hard to imagine that she'd be fine with a cannon shooting her friends into her castle's ceiling at high speeds, especially since she tried the cannon herself and must know how painful that is), and Applejack was a bit angrier than we'd expect (making veiled threats of violence), almost everything else here is spot-on. In particular, Pinkie is keen to try the barrel-cannon out (comparing it to her party cannon), and Fluttershy wants nothing to do with it, etc. Notwithstanding the aforementioned flaws, this almost feels like it could have come from an episode; imagine Scootaloo getting to Cloudsdale on one of these!

My only major complaint with this story is that it leaves some of the wilder ideas involving barrel-cannons on the cutting room floor. For instance, if these were presented as being shorter-range devices (like they are in DKC), then imagine the hilarity that you'd get if somepony (that wasn't a pegasus) got caught in an upward-pointing cannon, being shot upward only to fall back down and then be shot upward again, without end. Or having Twilight set up a series of barrels aimed at barrels, where you get shot from one to another to another to another over and over again...imagine what that sort of inter-city transportation would be like!

Of course, Twilight listens to her friends when they tell her this is a bad idea, so we probably won't get to see that going forward. But at least we'll always have rockets!

Mine_Menace

Mine_Menace #9 · Jan 29th, 2018 · 1 · ·

8700146
Thanks for the review!

It's nice to know that you liked the story overall, especially considering how you mentioned how it almost could have come from the show itself (which is what I was going for). Additionally, as I look back at the story itself, your criticisms certainly made sense and I probably could have and should have noticed those bits and adjusted them accordingly. Oh well. I'm going to leave the story as is though, just because I want to preserve it as is.