• Published 3rd May 2017
  • 4,186 Views, 46 Comments

Warm Colors - Holy



All of Sunset's hard work in college is finally nearing its end. As she's sitting in her dorm room on yet another lonely Friday night, she has to wonder what she might have lost along the way.

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Warm Colors

Sunset closed her eyes, the warm sunlight peaking through her window painting her skin in a soft, comforting warmth. She occupied herself with balancing an unlaced shoe on the edge of her toes, letting it hang precariously off the edge of her window sill, one errant movement potentially sending it clattering down to the carpet a few inches below. It was all she could really bring herself to focus on. The constant tick of her old analog clock hanging above her head was like the clanging of bricks stacking up around her in her quiet little dorm room. That and the constant, dull hum of something mechanical on the other side of her wall drowned out the chatter of all the students walking past outside.

Sunset let her head lean over and rest on her window. The warmth of the glass radiated through her hair as she tried to focus on the words coming through it. Something about someone's sister, something about being mad at a roommate, something about a test a girl was glad was over. Sunset couldn't really piece any of it together. People talking about friends, people talking about school... just people talking, really. That's all she wanted to hear.

Sunset opened her eyes and let out a breath. It was only six in the afternoon. She didn't have to check. She knew every time she walked into this little room and set her back pack down into the corner this is what time it'd be. Every night like clockwork. Her homework had already been done in the library after class and she'd grabbed an apple and a sandwich from the cafeteria for her last meal of the day. Just like she'd done every day for as long as she could remember.

Everything was taken care of. She knew she would probably still study for her finals coming up anyway, but if she didn't she would probably be alright. She really had all the time in the world to spend on whatever she wanted now, yet she still sat silent in the window sill, feeling the last warmth of the setting sun peering through her window onto her forearms. Her eyes flicked over to the phone she sat on her desk when she walked in. Still dark. She knew it would be a fruitless effort getting up to check it. No one needed to talk to her. No professor needed to send her a scolding email, no classmate needed to ask her anything, and no friend wanted to hang out with her on this friday night. Just like every other one.

The sidewalk outside grabbed her attention instead. Her mind lost its focus on her shoe hanging over the edge and turned away to the window again. It was only two stories down, so she could see every little detail of the grass growing around the concrete and the roots threatening to interrupt those steady gray lines. Trees painted shadows on the sidewalk sparingly as the summer leaves had mostly fallen already. Sunset watched as one of those leaves sat crooked on its branch, each little gust of wind ready to send it on its way. It was only a matter of time before it floated down to the grass where the groundskeepers would sweep it away, the bright, green sheen it once being forgotten to time, replaced in a couple months by a new set of leaves.

Another deep breath passed through Sunset's nose, then she let it out with another long sigh. Her eyes flicked towards her phone again. She thought about calling one of her friends--asking where their lives were taking them, the things they might do when they met up again--but instead she looked back out towards the window. The conversations always seemed to end up the same way: quick how are you's and worn pleasantries, talks about how they'll met up soon and all the wonderful things they'll do again. She always smiled at the thought of taking a sip of a Sugarcube Corner milkshake, or talking for hours in the dark with each other during a sleepover. That smile quickly left her once she remembered how long it'd been since she actually got to do any of those things. Those conversations with her friends became a staple of her weekend routine. She'd try to call two or three of them until one finally picked up or wasn't busy and she'd waste a few hours of their busy lives before going back to the silence of her little dorm room. Just another weekend of looking between a textbook and that little screen, wishing things could've been different.

Maybe she should've gone to that art college with Rarity, or maybe she should've applied to Rainbow's choice, the one that decided to give her that track scholarship. Maybe she should've just stayed home and helped Applejack at the farm. Maybe this, maybe that, maybe thinking her hindsight was a useless effort. She'd made her choice to come to this college alone. She was never going to get that time back now.

Sunset's eyes trailed off of the branches she was tracing with her gaze and looked back over to the magical journal sitting on her desk next to her pile of textbooks. She played with the idea of writing her favorite Equestian princess, but her motivation soon faded away. Twilight had other things to worry about: nations to save, ponies to help, friendship conundrums to solve... an entire world of responsibilities that meant it usually took a few days for a response to finally pop up. Sunset didn't really feel like sitting in front of a blank page right now anyway.

Yet another sigh left through Sunset's nose, this time edging towards frustration. Sunset closed her eyes and let her head fall back against the wall. For a split second the shoe halfway on her foot lost its balance and slipped onto the ground, leaving Sunset's foot bare to the warmth of the sun as it slowly seeped through her sock. She didn't bother doing anything about the other shoe still laced up. She let her legs stretch out as far as they could against the window sill as her eyes drifted back to the leaf she was so interested in earlier.

Sunset's eyes squinted as she scanned the tree. She knew where it was, but that familiar orange hue was nowhere to be found on that barren branch any longer. The sun encroached even more onto the sidewalk, the shadow losing even more of the shape it once painted there. The leaf that used to be so essential to that tree was now gone forever, left to a fate of being raked up or blown away until it crumbled into nothing. Sunset looked down towards the sidewalk to try to find it, but it had been lost among all the others. It was meaningless to try to search for it in the sea of autumn colors. She caught a glimpse of the wind pulling away some of the leaves and dragging them down the sidewalk and out of her view, probably to somewhere far, far away from the branch that grew it. None of the students seemed to mind as they whisked around their feet. Why should they? They were just more leaves.

Just three more semesters Sunset thought to herself. Another long sigh left her lips as she pulled the other shoe off of her foot with her toes. The shoe clattered to the ground next to its partner, sitting ready for Sunset to start the week all over again in a few days. With nothing else to do, Sunset let herself roll off of the sill and right into her bed. No one was going to call or text her, no friend was going to knock on her door. Even distracting herself with a textbook was just an exercise in redundancy at this point. The familiar, soft sheets glady welcomed her by immediately fighting away the cold air in her room that nipped at her once she left the absence of the warm sun. Sunset wrapped herself up in her blankets, drowning out the rest of the world in a few layers of cotton and wool.

Just another lonely Friday night. Sunset could barely make out the sounds of the outside world anymore. The distant murmurs of the students outside slowly disappeared with the setting sun. Sunset let her eyes close, despite knowing how early she might end up waking up tomorrow. She covered herself even more in her sheets to try to drown out the world. Even still, she could hear that mechanical hum that kept the building going, and the little tick as the seconds passed her by. It may not have been a gentle lullaby, but it was the only sound that had been rocking her to sleep for what felt like an eternity to her.

Comments ( 46 )

That was so sweet I like this story

Poor Sunset she's so lonly.

Well done! You described the environment very well. Autumn is my favorite season, and you captured it pretty well, including the melancholy that comes with it.

I am hoping you are not writing this from experience. It's kind of too perfect to be created by someone who never experienced loneliness :applejackunsure:

If you need someone to talk to, just let us know :pinkiesmile:

Wow, that was a really fantastic story. It was beautifully written,especially Sunset's feelings were conveyed really well which made her pretty relatable. Story and environment worked together very well, it was a joy to read this. Thank you very much for the amazing story.

As expected, another fantastic story!

Very melancholy, and very well written. That longing for the good old days, that wondering of what could have been, is something I think we can all relate to...

I like the story, and I like the imagery as it is, and I like that feeling of hopelessness. I like that little change where she simply decides -- nay, realizes -- that nothing's going to change. It's poignant and hard-hitting. I feel like it was a bit short as it is, so I don't have much more to say. I feel like if you were to expand it, you could delve into a bit of character introspection on why she feels the way she does.
Good job, though.

......This is actually pretty unsettling because a good chunk of my college experience....WAS LIKE THIS! Getting all your work done and then just sitting in your room, more or less wasting time, often leaving the TV on just to have some noise in your room while contemplating what exactly you can do to change it around and wondering if you should have done something else.

I HATED that feeling. Sadly I lacked a lot of social skills at the time and even now I have a similar problem, each day going by you wondering why it isn't exciting or memorable as back in High School where it seemed like every day was a more enjoyable adventure. It's painful and reminds us that growing up SUCKS!

Still though there is always hope, just gotta push forward.

Feels familiar.

Is this a repost? Or am I clairvoyant?

8139474
Whatever weird Mandela effect nonsense is going on, I'm right there with you. Wasn't this posted like six months ago, or something?

8139576
8139474
8139300
It was originally a much shorter blog post by the same name that I'd rewritten.

I cant relate to the fealings she is having but i can like this story. nice work

That feeling of time just passing by and our lives seem too little to even called an adventure, repeating the days that pass and it seemed so dull with little event that are so forgetable. And there is this feeling of going numb and the week just went by you and you didn't even know it, then you question yourself if there is anything to gain from this or even something to lose when things are already in motion.

It just felt so... peaceful yet something is missing and the question is what??



NOTE: This is my feelings when and after reading the story

Ugh... college :ajbemused: Sunset's loneliness is very relatable. Good story!

:raritycry::raritycry::raritycry:This is way too relatable:fluttercry::fluttercry:
I'm having an existential crisis now...

8139598
That explains It! Thanks for that!

Sometimes I feel like I checked out from pop culture in 2012, the same time I checked in to college.
It hurts.

8139598 No, what I meant was that I understand what Sunset's experiencing here. Many long days have I waited for some old friend to reach out to me, all the while knowing they weren't going to.

Really amazing in how quiet, relatable, and thought provoking this is.

story of my life right here, wish i never went to college. i have no social life right now and am hard pressed to see that ever changing. heck, often i wonder if anyone would even miss me if something happened, or if they would even know. it's not like they actually reach out enough to notice soon,

8138453
I wish it wasnt, honestly.

I feel this as a senior in college, just never being able to connect with anyone and the isolation of it all. I hope you're experience turns out better than my whole college life did.

8139144 Yeah this is my curse to bear as well.

I feel that there is a sort of mello-dramatic, simplistic beauty in this piece. I love it!

Mist #27 · May 7th, 2017 · · 5 ·

Kind of disappointed that there's no real pay off. Like nothing really happens and it kind of leaves you wanting. Some say less is more, but in this case I'd say more is more.

You always make such amazing Sunny fics, went through the same thing during my school time.

This story gave me a sad :fluttercry:

I guess that was kind of the point though so job well done my friend. :ajsmug:

Absolutely incredible, this story is even better the second time I read it! That ending was so sad, and though I think it does end the story well, I would definitely enjoy a sequel. Good job on this amazing short. :twilightsmile:

Almost painful to read this, because it hits so close to home... I can relate to this, and it brings alot of regret with it. Thank you for this story... I needed this.

The theme song to go along with this fic. You're all welcome

8146496
the point of the story is to relate to the loneliness of those in college who have no friends there and whose former friends seem to have forgotten about them, eventually driving them to stop reaching out and instead hunker down and weather the storm hoping it will eventually end. i wish there was a payoff in those situations, but as someone who has lived through that garbage i can tell you there wasn't for me, and for many others in the comment i get the feeling they felt the same way.

and no friend wanted to hang out with her on this friday night

:trixieshiftright:

This one languished on my Read Later list for so long because I had a sneaking suspicion it would speak to me way more than I wanted it to. I hate being right...

Orrm #35 · Feb 28th, 2019 · · 1 ·

Simply marvelous. You use the one element we all have in out lives and you implement it masterfully, said element is reality itself.

Now, understand that adolescence is a fleeting period of time and bonds of friendships made rarely last the test and passage of time. Those thick cords are stretched over many things, distance, time, changes in personalities, or even something as simple as a busy schedule.

Nonetheless the result is the same, what was once thick, strong cords of iron are stretched into thin cords of copper, yes, it may conduct well however when too much pressure is exerted the cord snaps in two, leaving both parties with a reminder of what once was and of course, what caused it.


Time is not your ally, people of friendship and youth, the changing currents of life are your enemy and always remember, you are powerless against either one.

I periodically come back to this story to re-read it. It came out just as I left for college, it was a sort of foreshadowing to what was to come. Each time I re-read it, it only hits harder and closer to home. It's a really good story that captures a specific emotion and scenario that many people can relate to.

College is lonely, especially if you commute instead of dorm. I blame myself for not maintaining my old friendships as well as I could have and for not pushing myself to hold onto new friends. Each semester is its own vignette and little world, the people met and relationships formed never really seemed to transfer over. It's a strange sort of lonely that happens when you're in a crowd. Maybe from it's living in the past or maybe it's just not meant to be.

This story is bittersweet in a way. Things seem to going well for Sunset, it's just that she's experiencing it alone. I don't know, honestly.
Someone complained that there's no pay off to this story a while back. They're not wrong, it's not exactly a bad or good ending, it just ends. I guess there's no real happy ending at this snapshot of Sunset's life, I hope one comes along for her and the rest of us in her situation. This is a really good story.

I don't have any profound statements of my own to make in response to this very nice little story. But there are two chunks of what appear to me to be wisdom that may work here. One is from the song "Everybody Should Wear Sunscreen" "...Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young." And the second is from the movie "UP", where our hero gets a message from his past, "Thanks for the adventure...now, go find a new one." Speaking as someone badly in need of a new adventure and who has lost contact with old friends, except of course for the useless world of Facebook, I really need to take both quotes to heart.

This is strangely conforting... wow

This was honestly painful to read. Someone hit this girl up on the phone.

Comment posted by TwinAttorney864 deleted Dec 18th, 2020

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Time is our greatest ally and our greatest villain. It is responsible for countless amounts of births, and an equal amount of deaths. It can build up mountains, or break them down to pebbles.

It's like pushing against a strong wind. If given the right circumstances, and the correct amount of power, you can push it off, and live your life freely. If you can't you forced to spend your time being pushed by it, to wherever it may take you.

Unfortunately, friendships are one of the weakest points of your body in this metaphorical storm. It's like a screwdriver is precariously held against your chest. You have to put so much force to make sure it can last the lengths of time, and if you fail, it'll be one of the most gut-wrenching things you can feel, for there are so fewer things to give you more sadness then the feeling of losing a longtime friend.

On the other hand, you can cast it aside, and need not put more force into holding it tight, but then you just cast aside something you spent years holding onto for what? A little bit more power?

However, for those that can weather the storm and keep their screwdriver in hand, it will be used in countless amounts of ways. With this, you have the ability to open new memories, and new experiences if you keep the screwdriver in hand.

I've read this before, but I had forgotten about it. For me, it is a lonely Friday evening in autumn, while I am sitting alone in a storage closet at my college. As I have just reread this, I wonder what I should take away from it, and I think it shall be the bittersweet comfort that my situation is not unique. There are plenty of people out there as lonely as I, and so, in that sense, none of us are alone in our loneliness.

11072382
Back again, exactly one day shy of one year later. Still lonely, but things aren't exactly how they once were. In some ways they're better, in others, worse. Yet I'm still here, and that just might count for something on its own.

I did a reading of your story Holy! I hope you enjoy it! Youtube Reading

Comment posted by ScisetShimmerEvan deleted Feb 21st, 2023

This was such a comforting read, Holy. I'm often in Sunset's shoes whenever I'm in my college dorms away from home. Alone with no one to be there for me, both physically and emotionally. Thanks for the support on this cold Sunday.

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