Sunset Shimmer discovered the true motive behind Anon-A-Miss. Knowing the pain of being alone and without guidance, she does something no one expected. Sunset and her new charge finally have what they've always needed, a place to call their own, a true home.
Edited by AuthorGenisis, many thanks to him.
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Finally got to see this, and well done.
Interesting.
Oh, and Twilight has some words to say.
Does this mean Sunset is going to rule the school in a different way?
Well, this should be interesting, you have my attention.
This is very interesting
So far i like it keep up the great work
I love this story, and i can't wait to see Principal Celestia and Luna to tear in the Rainbooms and the students at the school and sure a few teachers will be shivering in terror, for two reasons The ones who did nothing or joined in treating Susnet like crap, and Sunset herself as she faces them, and the students will be doing the same.
i have a feeling Sunset will be addressing the school at the confession to protect the CMC.
It's Apple Bloom, not Applebloom.
That said, this is a good start, and I'm looking forward to more.
I read this story a little while ago and I am already loving it. I've read a couple of Anon-A-Miss story's on this site, though some of them I don't like as they are too dark and ended tragically, except for one story called Anon-A-Miss With A Twist which is an awesome story by the way.
Anyway I liked how Sunset was able to figure out who was framing her and she didn't put up with the Rainbooms bullshit anymore when she told them to shut up. She especially pointed out how she wouldn't be this sloppy if it was the old her pulling this stunt and wouldn't have made it obvious. I hope the all the other students get punished as well since they were the stupid idiots who shared those posts of other peoples secrets.
Seriously no one put a gun to their heads and they were not mind controlled either.
I always hated this comic as I don't consider it a Holiday Special and the writer who did the story for the comic is a fucking idiot. Excuse my language.
Another thing I like about this story and I was considering adding it to my own story I'm trying to come up with, though it is different, is that you brought up how Spike got angry and upset since it reminded him how he and everyone abandon Twilight during the Canterlot Wedding incident.
Twilight understood Sunsets pain and I hope they get shipped together.
This leads me to two questions going through my mind. One is will Principle Celestia expel the Crusaders for what they did? And the second question is will Twilight take Sunset back with her to Equestria since the Rainbooms betrayed her trust.
I do have a suggestion if you wish to use it. It is were Celestia says after the Crusaders make a public apology they will make amends to all the students they hurt with this stunt. If it requires financial compensation, they should pay for it with their own money. But then again Scootaloo is an orphan so that might not be possible. But another requirement would be to have the Crusaders perform some kind of community service they should perform it, no matter how degrading it might be.
And once again all the students should face the consequences as well, like the Crusaders. I really hope Twilight and Spike tear their former friends a new asshole for being so stupid. You should have Twilight tell them this was probably their way of getting back at Sunset for breaking up their friendship in the first place.
Also I hope the teaching staff who didn't help get fired, plus this would lead to the Friendship Games being cancelled since no one at Canterlot can trust each other. Hope to see the next update soon.
Good Luck Blazeblast4.
7974369
Thank you, can't believe I screwed that up, fixed.
7974397 You're welcome! Don't worry, these things happen. Glad I could help!
7974395
I don't think I'll be shipping Sunset and Twilight in this fic, at least in the beginning. Originally, Twilight was only supposed to have a small role (this and the next chapter would've been one 3000ish word chapter, she would just bring the gems and yell at the mane 5), but when I reworked the chapter, she ended up as a main character. There will definitely be potential for the ship later on, but I'm not sure.
As for punishments, I missed a line where Luna puts the security footage on a few USBs. Let's just say I have something special planned for the mane 5. Same for the rest of the school. Since the Crusaders had an actual reason to pull this stunt and are genuinely sorry, the outside punishment will be rather light, instead they'll be dealing with heavy guilt among some other things. They will definitely be working on making amends, but in a different way. A little hint to the next arc, the working title is Diamond is Breakable (yes, it's a Jojo reference, no, the Jojo part isn't relevant).
Sunset will continue living in the human world. This incident helped her find a new purpose, but she will end up in Equestria from time to time.
7974580 Oh okay. Also to be clear and I should have remembered this I meant pair Sunset with Princess Twilight, not Sci-Twi. I got nothing against Sci-Twi or anything. I've been watching Jojo's Adventure on Toonami and it's an awesome anime.
7974580
Hi, finally able to see this fic. Anyway, I think the Human versions of the elements should learn a lesson from this. Then again, they should've learned about it long ago. They own Sunset now, and if Sunset's back she's going to make them pay for abandoning her. Also, her kindness to Scootaloo may make Rainbow Dash even guilty since she never knew Scootaloo was homeless. Anyway, how do the Humane 5 take Twilight's scolding? I can't wait for the continuation. I like Anon-A-Miss fics that don't drag on until the resolution. No offense, but the comic was a single issue so you shouldn't drag that on. But I do want to see the continuation, and since you said that the other part was done but will be expanded, I hope that the next chapter comes soon.
Well, I can wait. There's a lot to do. Best of luck.
7974639
You were right about the two days, it took 47 hours for it to be approved (and somehow had 8 views before then). Anyways, I have something special planned for the scolding, let's just say the humane 5 will not take it well at all. As for Sunset, she's in a tough position right now. As much as the humane 5 hurt her, both short term and long, they did still stick with her after the Fall Formal and helped her discover friendship, but more importantly, she truly believes people can change and in second chances/forgiveness with all her heart. She doesn't want to hate them and wants them to improve, but at the same time, knows that this is something they have to figure out for themselves, otherwise it won't stick.
This and the next chapter are essentially the prologue of the story. Originally, the idea behind this fic was to give the CMC a much better reason for doing Anon-A-Miss, while adding in Scootadopt, but then thinking about how the two of them would live together and the consequences of the revelation and Anon-A-Miss, I found that too appealing to pass up. As for the next chapter, it will hopefully be done in less than a week, but it has a few scenes that are very easy to screw up, so it may take longer. Unlike my last fic, I actually have someone to keep me on track, and am not hating everything I write, so it will continue.
7974701
That's good. Also, you seemed to enjoy my Anon-A-Miss fics. They're less depressing, right?
It's what I didn't like about those fics. I don't like depressing fics. I like them to be more uplifting.
7974703
I liked the idea behind Anon-A-Miss With a Twist and the ideas in The Boy At Our Table, though somethings about the execution of those two didn't work too well for me (I still liked them). Exposing Anon-A-Miss, on the other hand, was amazing (it actually helped me solidify the idea for the second arc of this story). I can go into more detail on the stories themselves if you want. I do enjoy the darker Anon-A-Miss fics, especially the ones that actually do something with it. Even the overly dark ones can be fun, but I definitely prefer the ones that go somewhere interesting with the idea.
7974747
Yeah, I mean, if DT was involved, she would not hesitate to expose the Crusaders. Though, how this can be handled in a sequel is anyone's guess.
So, what are the plans for this fic?
7974179 Either Way, they're going to get teared up and I'll be sure to have the popcorn ready by then.
Sunset, sunset,
The firebird's awake,
Raise your hands,
For there is hell to pay.
Looking forwards to the next chapter. :>
OH my god, they are the main reason everyone thought Sunset did it! Trixie claimed it in the Krampus story but you made it sound so obvious!
There are times when I miss this side of Sunset. Didn't think that she'd be this perceptive here.
Very intriguing and strong start. The little twist was a nice surprise. Looking forward to the next part.
2 things
Ironic isn't it? They were the elements and they started the arguments
Huh... guess the crusaders were more loyal than the rainbimbos
I have to say, I'm really enjoying this story. It pretty much combines two ideas for stories I had and does it probably better than I would. Just the first chapter already tackles all the facts and questions I would want in a story about Anon-A-Miss, and the writing is solid and emotional, if a little blunt in some scenes.
Now to hope that you also write faster than me so we can see the next chapter soon.
Okay, pros:
1. Giving the Mane Five a talk down---a WELL DESERVED ONE. I don't know if I should rant about how gosh awful they were in that comic, because I hated them in that story.
2. Actually making the CMC (and part of the M5) redeemable.
3. Dodging the "Sunset Suicide Attempt"; that's a usual trope for this. Theyre not bad, just...I dunno...I liked how you did it better.
Cons:
1. Doesn't show enough of Scootaloo in the first chapter; since the story looks like it's gonna revolve around her and Sunset, I kinda wish I saw more of her POV.
2. It's weird; I like that Sunset asserted herself, and though her intimidation is hilarious, it also runs me the wrong way. More of a nitpick if anything.
3. I dunno what it is, but some of the writing feels a bit repetitive at parts.
Over all, this is pretty good so far.
I hope to read more soon. Maybe you can even redeem those five snots in my eyes!
7976622
Yeah, Scootaloo was barely in this chapter because this one and the next were originally a much shorter prologue, which would've been followed by a chapter from Scootaloo's perspective. Since this got expanded a lot, Scootaloo's presence early on is less than I'd like. The next chapter should help with that, as she'll have a much bigger role.
As for why the writing feels repetitive, that's because it is. One of the things that I have a lot of trouble with is varying up my descriptions and sentence structure. When I try to write the scene I'm visualizing, I write it in a very basic way, then go back to flesh it out, but I tend to use the same tricks too often, particularly when trying to give a character presence or describing how they're talking. I hope I can avoid it in the next chapter before it becomes too glaring.
Pros:
-This story isn't COMPLETELY edgy.
Cons:
-The pacing is God awful, it feels like everything us thrown at me all at once.
-Sunset's assertiveness is unrealisticly successful.
-Sunset's character development does a complete 180 in the span of a few paragraphs.
-You desperately need an editor to check your grammar
-There are 5 teenagers in one room and one Sunset. Very hard to intimidate FIVE teenagers when you're alone and two if them are more athletic than you.
-If Celestia and Luna were gone for a few days, then whi was running the school?
-Twilight wouldn't have forgotten to tell Spike about why they were going back to Canterlot High because Spike would ask why they were going back before they even got remotely ready.
ADVICE:
-WORK ON YOUR GRAMMAR!
-The humane 5 are individuals, treat them as such and don't grouo them together.
-If this story revolves around Sunset and Scoots, include Rainbow into the mix seeing as Scootaloo and her are/were close.
-Twilight needs to be a mediator.
-Sunset goes overboard with her assertiveness, then realizes that she's becoming a bully, so she finds a middleground.
-REDEMPTION!
I can understand why Scoota didn't tell anyone,
As she said, if anyone found out, she be shipped off to a foster home services...and lets face it, they suck!
Plus as she said she lose her only friends maybe forever as well when she taken away.
That a terrible thing to be afraid of, I also think they relied on the time they spent with the older girls as excuses or reasons so Scoota could spent the night with them, and not just the club house but a home with a heater and good food to eat, and save to take back and store.
Sunset did say Scoota was scrawy..the poor child must not gotten enough to eat as well.
With winter coming, they got desparte and actted with out thinking, plus they did think Amon A miss was popular to the students, and it was till everyone else's secrets got revealed and then they turn on Sunset like rabid dogs.
They still get in trouble but shouldn't be badly punished as could been.
No the blame is on the Rainbooms for turning on Sunset, the moment they did, everyone assumed Sunset was guilty and made it easier to hate and blame her.
If the Rainbooms believed she was guilty then she had to be for real, and if they could hate her and throw her aside then it was open season on Sunset.
That was the main reason for her to suffer so much, that and the students and teachers are a bunch of Hypocrites!
7977100
Yeah, I have a lot of trouble handling all of the characters in the room at once. I wanted to go into more detail with each of them, but then I would've dragged out the scene way too much, killing the emotion. As to why Sunset was able to intimidate them, Fluttershy is Fluttershy, Rarity and Pinkie were not in the right state of mind to stand up for themselves, and all of them were caught off guard while very down. Plus, Sunset did manage to intimidate them in the first movie and they did all react when she yelled at Trixie in Rainbow Rocks and human Twilight in Friendship Games, so I can see them all being intimidated, though I definitely could've done a better job showing it.
As for who was running the school, Celestia was away for the school board meeting, which would've left Luna in charge, but she came down with something (I'm leaning on pneumonia, though it's not relevant), so one of the senior teachers was put in charge. As for why Twilight didn't tell Spike, the reason they came over wasn't because of Anon-A-Miss, but because Sunset asked them to bring the bag. Sunset never told Twilight how bad Anon-A-Miss got, so she never really had a reason to tell Spike about it.
And yes, there will be redemption, but Twilight won't be the mediator, the CMC will be. Sunset is currently venting months of frustration and self loathing, so after everything settles down, she'll definitely tone down, but won't return to her doormat tendencies. Don't worry about edginess, this chapter is more or less the edgiest I have planned (there will be more scenes down the line, but this will shift more towards slice of life once the setup is complete). As for Rainbow Dash, she will be very involved.
*it
The story was really good
Okay, I like this story so far. I will track it. I figured out how Sunset figured out it were the younger sisters that were Anon-A-Miss. What I don't know is how she figured out that Scootaloo was homeless? Was it because Sunset is homeless as well? Now, which is Twilight going to do first? Confront the five that she trusted to teach Sunset about friendship (who themselves need a lesson on friendship as well as forgiveness)? Or Sunset, who she just found out was homeless (which was why she probably came into the shop before Pinkie called her)?
Also, what was in the bag that Sunset asked Twilight to bring? I hope that not only the CMC have to reveal themselves as Anon-A-Miss, but those five have to apologize, get some type of discipline for inciting a hostile environment for a student. After rereading what Sunset said to those five, can they really call themselves 'friends' with each other?
7982610
she didn't figure out Scoota was hoeless, fully really she had a feeling Scoota was the answer and maybe hiding her surprise that she was homeless...like her. But her revealing she the same just help make a connection between them I bet.
Yay!
Keep up tje good work!
Cant wait to see everyones reaction to sunset being homeless.
7977250 Sunset was able to get both rarity and Fluttershy to flinch when she was the queen be. Get applejack angry enough and her honesty takes a long vacation and she refuses to listen to honest reasons too. Rainbow is the tough one but if you can corner her loyalty she shatters. And pinkie is just as easy as Fluttershy. All sunset would have to say is
You took all the fun away. In fact it's too easy to break them up.
this is cool! when's next chapter?
I actually knew it was the Cmc because there is a comic exactly like the story except scoots wasn't an orphan. I'm guessing you seen the comic. This is a excellent story so far though can't wait for the next one.
anymore ^^
Next chapter please
Really liking where this is going. Especially curious about that sack. Also, Spike showing some draconic traits was pretty awesome. Pacing was a bit fast, but enjoyable all the same. Eagerly awaiting more!
anymore?
8043862
Yes, I have the rough draft of the next chapter finished, just need to run it by my pre reader and editor, so it should be up within the next few days.
8043873 ok
Another addition to my list. Good, good.
7977100
While the Mane 5 are stupid cunts, they aren't THAT Stupid. They are in a Business. There is likely Security Cameras. If they tried to do anything to Sunset, she is one phone call away from having them arrested for Assault with Video Evidence against them. As it is a business, it is open to the public and unless Mr. and Mrs. Cake banned her from Sugarcube Corner, there is no way they could get away with trying to physically remove her or shut her up.
I don't know, there is just something about seeing Sunset stand up for herself the way she did with the girls that I just loved. The entire chapter was great, and pretty much lines up with many of my own thoughts on the whole situation. Sometimes you really have to ask yourself when reading the comic just how good of friends are the girls. Even in the movie Rainbow Rocks, they treat Sunset kind of crappy from my POV. So seeing Sunset so assertive and in control is great, and seeing how Luna and Celestia wasn't even there for it made a lot more sense than them being there. I think this is going to be a great story, and hope to see even more of it. It's now one of my favorite Anon A Miss stories.
8043873 That's good news
I hope you put up the next chapter soon.
I wanna see the Rainbooms get their egos ripped out and beat them tp unconcipussness