Transdimensional Zoology: Worlds Collide

by FictionaryThought

Of Kisses and Unoriginal Titles

Owloysius slowly opened his eyes, barely sure what happened when he was awake. He also wasn't sure weather or not he was hallucinating, due to the fact he saw two mares he never met, both of which talking to Tank. Looking at the book shelves around him, he reminded himself he's in a public library, and these may have been mares looking to check out books. It didn't explain why they'd be talking to tank though. Maybe they were discussing why he was asleep? It still didn't make much sense. What would Tank be doing at the library? He was as much a reader as everypony else, but he was usually out helping friends. Maybe he felt like helping Owloysius today? That didn't explain why he was wearing roller skates.

“Excuse me.” Owloysius said, making the attention of the ponies in the room go towards him. “I hate to interrupt this conversation of yours, but Is there anything I can help you with?”

Not a second after the question was asked did the ponies in the room run towards the half-awake unicorn. The purple unicorn was smiling with glee and holding a pencil and note pad with her magic, the cyan pegasus had a curious expression on her face, and Tank was just happy to see his friend awake.

“Greetings.” The purple unicorn started. “My name is Twilight Sparkle. You're Owloysius I presume.”

Owloysius blinked twice. “Yes actually. How do you know me?”

“Your friend Opal introduced me. Tank here has told me a lot about you. Oh this is so exciting!” She said, literally jumping with glee. “I get to study another one of you!”

Owloysius raised an eyebrow. “Study?” He then brightened up. “Ooh! Is this part of an experiment of some sort? I love experiments. Is this some sort of interview?”

Twilight giggled. “You could say that.”

“Well then.” Owloysius said, now smiling at the idea of helping in an experiment. “What's the subject? Pony etiquette? Social preferences? Relations?”

She giggled even more. “Transdimensional Zoology.”

Owloysius's smile melted into curiosity. “Transdimensional Zoology? I'm afraid I don't follow Mrs. Sparkle.”

Tank decided to speak. “We're in another dimension.”

Owloysius's eyes went wide. “Really? My spell worked?” He laughed. “And here I thought being half-asleep would affect my spell casting.”

“So you actually made a spell to transport yourself to another dimension?” Twilight asked.

“Yes! I succeeded! Now all I need to do is document this world of yours and-” He looked around to see nothing but his own library with two mares he didn't recognize. “Wait, this doesn't seem any different than my dimension. This just looks like my library in Ponyville.”

“Actually,” Twilight interrupted. “It's my library.”

“Really?” Owloysius said in curiosity. “So you are the owner?”

“Yes.” She said matter-of-factly “I theorized that this dimension is identical to yours, but is inhabited by different ponies, each pony nothing more than a replacement for a pony in your world, but with personalities different from your fellow inhabitant ponies.”

“Is that so?” Owloysius said, tapping a hoof to his chin. “An interesting theory indeed. But how did you figure out I was from another dimension?”

“Your friend Opal told me.”

“Opal? What would she know about interdimensional travel? Surely she'd be one of the ponies left utterly clueless as to what's going on.”

“She told me she was a cat in this world.”

“Cat.” Owloysius repeated, putting together the current knowledge in his head. “Transdimensional Zoology.” He said to nopony in particular. “So then the dreams Opal has been having are real. That would imply that in this world I'm an owl, right?”

She nodded her head in excitement.

“Then Opal not only knows about this world, she's somehow connected to it. Or rather, we're all connected to it, but she can actually see this world through sleep. Fascinating. I wonder what makes her different.”

“Can you tell me anything about this-” She tried not to giggle. “-Princess Philomena?”

“Well, not much to say.” He said scratching the back of his head. “She raises the sun and moon every day and night. No relatives. Is a fiery red. She's actually my personal instructor in the ways of magic.”

“What about the elements of harmony?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Elements of harmony? If your asking me for philosophy I don't know if mine's similar to yours.”

“No, they're magical artifacts. They were used to save Equestria four times.”

“Never heard of them.”

“Fascinating.” She wrote down everything she heard. “So you don't have something to replace everything in your world.”

“You have a lot of questions for me don't you?”

“Yes.”

“Well so much for sleeping in more than usual.” His gaze drifted back over to Tank. “Can you at least tell me why Tank is wearing roller skates?”

The Cyan pegasus in the room grunted. “He was way too slow, so I sped him up some.”

Owloysius nodded his head. “Well at least one thing makes sense.”
…

They stood there, a kiss censored by a sombrero that appeared out of nowhere. Pinkie's mouth tasted of sugary sweets, as if coated with melted sugar, and of hot sauce. Gummy's tasted minty fresh, with a hint of bubble gum flavoring. Neither of them could hear the applause of the ponies around them. They could only hear the sounds of their own heartbeats. They slowly pulled away to look each other in the eyes, and maintained their loss of reality. For the first time, Gummy was not in touch with reality, but he wasn't watching another Doctor Whooves adventure.

Opal clears her throat to get the attention of the two love struck ponies. Gummy's reaction was a deep red blush with an awkward laugh, Pinkie's reaction was a childish smile and another strange sentence.

“Oh! Hi there OC pony I never met!”

Opal looked confused. “OC pony?”

Angel was doing a terrible job trying not to laugh. “What. In the name of Philomena. Are you wearing!?” He them burst into a fit of laughter.

“What?” Gummy looked at himself to see he was still wearing that frilly shirt, and tablecloth cape. He blushed again and took off the cape, whirling it around and somehow making his clothes disappear the second he was hidden behind the cape.

“I honestly don't know what that get-up was supposed to be. One moment I'm just serving food as usual, next thing I know I'm in a dance off against Pinkie Pie.” He looked towards Pinkie. “ You're a good dancer by the way.”

Pinkie chuckled. “I'm not at my best right now. I can only dance as good as the author can write.”

Gummy raised an eyebrow. “What?”

Pinkie rolled her eyes and grunted. “Seriously, will you stop that. I know you know.”

“You know I know what?”

“I know you know what's going on!”

“Well I know what you know about me knowing what's going on is wrong, because I have no idea what's going on.”

“Oh yea? Well...” Pinkie stopped in mid sentence. “Wait, are we fighting? I thought you had to get married before the fighting started. Do you wanna fight?”

“Uh...” Gummy blinked one eye at a time. “No?”

Pinkie looked around the room awkwardly, then back to gummy. “You wanna make out again?”

Gummy grinned ear to ear. “Yes!”

Angel kept laughing. “Whoa whoa whoa! Get a room you two.” He slowly got up, wiping tears of laughter off his face. “There are kids watching.”

Pinkie raised an eyebrow. “Really? I'm pretty sure there are readers reading.”

The room filled with the sound of silence, and awkward stares. Pinkie was particularly agitated by Gummy's confused expression. “Oh don't tell me you don't see them too Gummy, I know you can see past the fourth wall.”

Gummy blinked one eye at a time. “Fourth wall? You mean you know I can see The Doctor?”

Pinkie blinked twice. “What Doctor? Doctor Who? Wait, didn't I use that joke already?”

“What joke?” Gummy asked, confused as ever.

“I have no idea.” Pinkie said matter-of-factly. “The author wants me to be clueless about that part 'till later.”

Opal shook her head trying to clear her head. “Guys, I have no idea what either of you are talking about, but we should talk about it at the library.”

Pinkie's eyes widened along with her smile at the thought of this. “Oh goodie! I've been waiting to find out where the plot is.”

Gummy shook his head. “Is anypony else confused by what she saying as much as I am, or have I gone crazy.”

Angel face-hoofed. “Dude, I think you went crazy a long time ago.”

Gummy pouted. “I disagree.”

“Wait a minute.” Pinkie said, drawing everypony's attention. “Is it me or is it too quiet in here?”

Gummy looked to Pinkie, confused as before. “What do you mean?”

“Oh!” Pinkie said, now understanding what's going on. “Everypony look around.”

The others did as Pinkie asked looking around Sugar Cube Corner, only to see confused stairs, and pony gossip. Which led to several of them feeling awkward, but made Pinkie feel satisfied.

“Huh...” Gummy said, breaking the silence. “I forgot we were even in Sugar Cube Corner.”

Pinkie chuckled. “I know right? You really gotta pay attention to where the author puts you, or his lack of description might confuse you. Like this one time I was walking through a desert trying to find my way out, but the author forgot to describe the desert, so I forgot where I was! But then I had a lemon tart when I got home and I was oki-doki-loki.”

The silence in Sugar Cube Corner would have been broken had anypony, besides Pinkie, heard the author face-palm, but it wasn't. Everypony in the room was staring at Pinkie Pie, each one confused and trying to understand what she just said.

“Can we just head to the library?” Opal said, hoping not to continue this confusing conversation.

“Oki-doki-loki!” Pinkie said. She than ran up to her room on the second floor, pulled her reflection out of the nearest mirror, and jumped out the window with her identical friend, opening the window first of course. She then motioned her reflection to stay outside while she got the others. After that she opened the front door, and announced “I'm back!”, confusing just about everypony who was expecting her to come back down stairs.

Opal blinked twice. “Wait...Weren't you up there just a second ago?” She asked, pointing a hoof towards the stairs.

“Yep-er-doodle-dandy!” Pinkie announced. “And now I'm down here! Ain't that just weird? Now come on everypony! We've got a library to get to.”

There was a dead silence for a few seconds, but the ponies she was addressing began to exit the building. Pinkie cleared her throat. “Everypony else sit tight, my assistant will be here in a few seconds to serve you.” Pinkie scanned the crowd, looking for anypony that didn't look background-pony-ish, and found Winona still sitting near the entrance. “Except for you.” Pinkie said pointing a hoof towards Winona. “You need to come with us.”

Winona still bore her unfazed happiness “Sounds good ta me!” She got out of her seat, and trotted towards the exit like nothing weird happened.

Outside the restaurant, the 7 ponies trotted towards the library, and Pinkie Pie stopped to talk to somepony around the corner of Sugar Cube Corner. “Alright Refi, time to serve!”

All the other 6 ponies gasped in shock as a pony who looked exactly like Pinkie Pie came into the open, smiling contently as she trotted to the entrance of the restaurant. Everypony except for Pinkie stared at Refi slack jawed as she trotted by.

“Pinkie.” Rarity started. “What just happened?”

Pinkie giggled. “Oh, that's just Refi. She's my reflection. Somepony has to watch Sugar Cube Corner while I'm on one of my wacky adventures, and Refi's perfect for the job.” Pinkie tapped a hoof to her chin in thought. “Well, almost perfect. Her sense of direction isn't the best, but put some mirrors in a few certain places and she can find her way just fine.”

The silence that hung in the air was only broken by the wind breezing by and a tumble weed tumbling by to imply just how quiet it was. Pinkie Pie and Gummy were probably the only ponies to notice the tumble weed though. Everypony else was trying to understand what just happened, only serving to confuse themselves and get some head aches.

Opal moaned and rubbed her hoof against her aching horn. “Today's been a long day.”

Pinkie rolled her eyes. “I know right? We're already up to 19 pages on Microsoft Word.”

Opal pointed a hoof towards Pinkie. “Please stop talking. Your giving me a horn ache.”

Pinkie giggled. “I get that a lot. Let's get moving!”

The ponies started walking towards the town library, most of them wondering what in Celestia's name was happening to make this day so strange, others wondering in Philomena's name, and some had their minds on other things.

Angel walked towards Gummy, with Fluttershy close to his side. “Hey Gummy.”

Gummy turned towards Angel. “Yeah?”

“Congrats.” Angel started. “You managed to find a mare just as confusing as you are. You two were made for each other.”

Gummy shook his head. “I don't know If I'm just as confusing.” He looked towards Pinkie, smiling as he did. “But I guess your half right.”
…

Meanwhile, Applejack was galloping towards Sugar Cube Corner as fast as she could. Her family members decided that keeping an eye on this so called Winona was very important. If she was dim enough to mistake herself for the family pet, who knew what trouble she could get into. Celestia forbid that she cause mass destruction just because Applejack couldn't keep an eye on her for two seconds. Applejack had already brought mass destruction herself because she was too stubborn to know when she needed to quit working, and when she desperately needed sleep. Even if Winona causing trouble would only be indirectly her fault, it would still be her fault, and she wasn't going to take another blow to her pride. She's still haunted by the mistakes she made last time.

Comments

[Lillyfroo]

I was walking through a dessert trying to find my way out, but the author forgot to describe the dessert, so I forgot where I was!

Dessert is something like chocolate mousse, ice cream, sweets, jelly, etc. Desert is a type of terrain where little precipitation occurs and consequently living conditions are hostile for plant and animal life. (Thanks wikipedia!) So technically, you are saying that Pinkie Pie is walking with sugary, chocolate-y, delicious treats up to her flank. EVERYPONY knows that a sugar overload like that can make Pinkie's frownie refuse to turn upside-downie!

[FictionaryThought]

3388681 Whoopsie! I'll go fix that now. Thanks.

[Commander Jenna Cipher]

Heh. Well, it has more of a fourth wall than Spaceballs did...

Just barely... Jussst barely.