Do not disappoint. This has so much potential its not even funny. First time Ive seen this idea too. You have be captivated with your first chapter, and the premise is excellent. Lets see where this goes.

The new Discord's chaos should involve tacos. Old Discord had chocolate rain, New Discord has tacos. It's a perfectly logical connection, when you think about it.

This, my good sir, is a very good start to a potentially great fic...

Do not disappoint me...

*Insert evil laugh here*

-Jorofrarie

Wow, usually I will only read fanfics that are completed and long. But this caught my eye and I have to say, it's bloody amazing. I've never seen this idea done before, well done.

I do enjoy the occasional fic that makes Discord out to be the sort of evil you would want to seal away forever instead of a lighthearted troll. I am definitely following this, let's see where it goes.

Awesome, thats all.

Also, do not dissapoint this would be a original fic with a LOT of potential.

Reading this chapter with the infection by Disturbed is .... fitting.

>>849266849266>>849308849308>>850076850076

Now I'm worried that I will muck this up...

I'd just like to warn people that Mr. HasNoCurrentName will not be turning into Dissy straight away, its going to be a rather long, drawn out thing instead of just *poof* Oh look, you're the God of Chaos. Expect quite cruel humour, interesting antics, dark depression and copious amounts of feels, be them good or bad.

Also, be warned, Chapter 2 has some darker aspects to it. Some pretty dark aspects.

>>850216850216

Good to see your not screwing up, i would love to see the entire transformation.

As for muching things up, your doing entirely the opposite right now so that's a good thing.

>>850216850216 Will he at least get to the ponies before the transformation is complete? Also, damn Discord, you scary.

>>850358850358

Eeyup, he is actually on his way as we...speak? Type? The second chapter sees him in Equestria... That is all I can say on the matter at the moment.

"Props to the person who made the picture but I don't know them…"

Artist's name and Deviant Art account are in the picture. Just throwing that out there.

>>850637850637

Holy. Bloody. Crap.

Excuse me whilst I go clean up my idiocy with a mop of shame.

>>850651850651 You can credit him a bit more cleanly like this (copy/paste this as is):

Cover image by [url=http://yourporick.deviantart.com]Poor Yorick[/url].

That will automagically give you:

Cover image by Poor Yorick.

BTW, Poor Yorick is the name of the artist; YourPorick is just the DA account.

>>850820850820

Thanks, I'm still relatively new to this so I still don't know all the ins and outs/ technical trickery, if you could really call it that.

That doesn't truly excuse my earlier mistake of not noticing the name on the picture however...

This is absolutely captivating. As a villain Discord never really struck me as really scary, but this was absolutely chilling. This chapter reminded me very much of H.P. Lovecrafts "The thing on the doorstep"

The very idea of having your own body start to become something alien and having no way to stop it is terrifying and I pray to all the elder gods behind the stars that you continue this. The point I'm trying to make is, good job.

>>850849850849 Might want to take a second look at how the description looks with that link in it…

You only need to have his name once, spelled the right way. The hyperlink is self-evident because it's blue, so no need to mention where to find him; it's assumed that if the artist's name is linked, it should lead to his page. That's why I worded the whole copy/paste credit (in black) the way I did in my previous comment; fewer words, less clutter, much clearer. Everything in black was intended to replace the entire line in the description.

Holy hell, this is amazing...

>>850911850911

Thanks again, you're being pretty informative to me, something I need quite a bit, as you can probably tell.

>>850950850950

Thanks, though without you I would have no name for the guy

Sooooo, the human is discord mk.2?

I had some trouble to understand what was going on.

>>851447851447

Clearin' things up a bit in Chapter 2. It'll explain what is going on better I hope.

Basically, that human is being changed into Discord mk.2, yes.

This is certainly a different take on a HiE story and so far it sounds good. Keep up the great work

Simply stunning. You very well played out the "human's" emotions rising from slow denial to complete and utter horror as he realizes that what is happening is not the sick fantasies of an imagination gone wild. In the first place having an evil sound entity within your life is never good but when it decides to start physically altering your body without consent...then things have really swayed into the body horror realms. Congrats and I really do look forward to seeing whether the others around the poor bastard notice or not.

I'm just glad that this hasn't turned into 'Sleeping, oh look I'm Discord, hello Celly!' like every other fic out there about being Dissy...

Also, depression...

That is all...

-Jorofrarie

do not thumbs up any more!!!! tis peerrrrrrfect

Incredibly interesting story from your description. I read the first half of ch1 and am excited to finish later tonight, but for now this gets a fav+like.

vobis male bastardus, quam? quam!? quam!!? Forsitan!

et ita ... novum quentiam incipit ... latina!

>>850216850216 Don't worry about messing this up. Just write it and remember you got featured for a reason

Can't wait to read more!!

"the signs of a control that could demand armies, " I think you mean 'command' not 'demand'. Unless if you mean that he could demand someone to give him armies. Otherwise, it doesn't make too much sense. At least, that's what I think.

I really like this story. I think I'm going to watch it and see what happens. I think you have an extremely unique idea. I also like your portrayal of Discord. Scary.

Awesome. Try to make more though, and soon. Or I will turn you inside out and bury you in the ever green forest!~

>>856407856407

Well, wouldn't want that to happen now, would I?

You're going to be getting a review sometime in the near future, which I doubt you will enjoy.

This is so awesome! please post more soon!

I personally wasn't sure at first about showing discord in this particular light, but none-the-less it makes for a GREAT story! good job! I'm following, can't wait to see what happens next!

Becoming Chaos, picture of Discord, 'last of my sanity leaving me', curved tooth and golden eyes.

If anyone assumed he was gonna turn into an alicorn, with all THESE signs, they'd have to be a complete retard :V. I'll give it a read sometime, if only to see this poor guy's suffering as he turns into a monster that gets petrified for a thousand years.

Discord is my favorite villain, and I must admit I am very intrigued by this notion of him as more sinister and plotting. It always irked me how he was defeated, since it was obvious that they had changed back into colored coats.

damn ging i was planning on ripping you like hell for this, and then you went and made it epic.

>>856894856894

*Sniff*

That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.

Good readin' right here.

>>856369856369

Fixed. Thanks for that.

>>856515856515

...

Ah well, I can handle negative comments.

Bring the rain

>>856907856907 but ima still take the rip out of you for the doctor who storys

>>856923856923

And I will still take the rip out of you for your poor grammar and spelling.

*Doctor Who

*Stories

I've always seen every villain in MLP as something truly evil. Nightmare Moon with her eternal night, every biosphere in Equestria would die from lack of sunlight, all of Equestria itself would die due to a lack of food. She'd be ruling a dying empire, and likely laughing as it burned away.

Discord is the God of Chaos, and simply by EXISTING, reality shits itself around him. Everything would simply cease to exist as nothing would be capable of existing in such an environment. Everything would descend into its base form, chaos, and he would likely enjoy every painful moment of those around him.

Chrysalis feasts on love, can control your mind, and is just evil. Her Changelings, had she not been beaten, would've spread across Equestria, likely across the planet, assimilating every race they came across, until eventually, food now exhausted, they themselves died, leaving Celestia's fair planet a simple world full of non-sentient life. A reset to the cycle, as it were, leaving the world to accept a new form of sentient life.

This really just makes me like and hate Discord more. Fantastic writing, and I really felt for the poor guy, no one should have to suffer like that.

And now that I've finished my rather short reading of this.

I am left...satisfied, I suppose. I'm going to take to calling John, instead of his real name, 'Poor, poor, poor poor bastard', since shit like this just keeps happening to him.

I wasn't expecting Celestia to act like that though...I'd figure she'd have a bit more constraint. Well ok, some weird creature is sleeping in your bed next to you, in one of the most well-protected rooms in the entire country...alright yeah, I'd be shitting myself in that situation.

Um, don't forget Maker of Disharmony! But anyways, ILOVEITINEEDMORENOOOOOOOOOOOW

After reading this I have a certain urge to make a comic based off the end of this game.  It seems to be in an interesting slow transformation into Discord or does he just turns into him in the next chapter now.

Now that is a true horror of being a host of a bad guy now I even feel more compelled to go through with the idea of drawing Discord and act like that game.  Anyway, you're not the only one who made Discord even more evil than what people normally make him out to be, but this whole deal he's putting this guy through really reminds me of that tumblr where Discord sends some pony construct to cause some chaos in his stead.

Grand finale huh? I'm guessing that this story would last more than just a couple of chapters huh?  Unless they're going to be really long chapters, either way you've gained my interest and given me hope that that the guy will pull through in the end.  You have earned my fave long with my like (which I normally do for stories that interest me).

Oh yeah, one more thing, good job on getting featured, which I think is the reason why I found you in the first place.

puting this in my read later (I cant stop thinking of this song when I read the story title

I don't care what anyone else says about this, I personally think that his entrance to Equestria was in a good pacing, sooo....

Yeah, MOAR CHAPTERS!

I mean, if that's okay with you...

-Jorofrarie

First off: FIRST COMMENT

Second off: I need Le more! It is too interesting to resist!

I'll add tags/characters later depending on what I plan for this.

Image: http://denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw150_130481207556.png

So yeah uh quick question nothing too pressing but

if you haven't planned out your story why are you writing it already

old Russian proverb: "failure to plan is planning to fail"

furthermore your objection that "OIMG NOT AN LICORNS FICK U GUISE!!!!!"

Image: http://denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw246_celestia%20smirk.png

It's still a self-insert power fantasy if you turn into discord buddy

We have a name! I'm trembling so much that I can't even hold the shift key!!1111111111

-Jorofrarie

>>862991862991 not realy seeing mutch self empowerment fantasy here it mosstly seems to be alot of screeming instead sbesides becoming th fleshpuppet of a choas god is not at al similar to the lazy ass whee im an alicorn shitpiles you are comparing it too.

>>863345863345 drunnnk typing on an nook is hard da leyers keemoving

Good stuff, as usual. Keep it comin', man!

“Whose there?”

I believe that should be "Who's there?", as in "Who is there?". Whose is used as a question of who owns something. Like "Whose car is that?" or "Whose job is it to clean the septic tanks?".

I can't wait until you have him talk to Celestia. And I can't wait to see how you end it.

This is what Delirium is like?  Woah it reminds me of Knight and Day where the woman was hit with the knockout drug, but everytime she gets her eyes open something different happens everytime and it was confusing, I like that.  It was the good kind of confusing until Jon officially wakes up, nice job describing the pony the first time.  I'm interested in seeing your description of Celestia in Jon's eyes, because remember he expects these creatures to look like normal horses despite his first encounter to a unicorn since it was rather brief.  Basically talk about Celestia's eyes and how large they are compared to his own and note some more differences he sees in a pony compared to regular horses.  Either way I can't wait to see what's going to happen to Jon now that he has a chance to talk to her.

Some grammar mistakes I found:

>Nothing had changed, nothing. Not since last night. The same doorknob gold and blood red eyes stared back ta him, the same jutting, razor tooth extending from his mouth seemingly glaring at him, twinkling in the refreshing sunlight that had now turned into the harbinger of horror.

*Nothing had changed, nothing. Not since last night. The same doorknob gold and blood red eyes stared back at him, the same jutting, razor tooth extending from his mouth seemingly glaring at him, twinkling in the refreshing sunlight that had now turned into the harbinger of horror.

-  You better change the "ta" there to "at" now. ^^;

>It was a quaint room, the solar ruler wanting nothing more then a nice cosy room to relax in without the constant reminder of her duties. She had chosen only the most humble furniture, apart from her wardrobe which one Rarity insisted was a must have, to make sure she did not grow too egotistical, to reminder her guards and sometimes herself that she was not above them.

*It was a quaint room, the solar ruler wanting nothing more then a nice cosy room to relax in without the constant reminder of her duties. She had chosen only the most humble furniture, apart from her wardrobe which one Rarity insisted was a must have, to make sure she did not grow too egotistical, to remind her guards and sometimes herself that she was not above them.

-You said "reminder twice in there, you better try this fix that I added here at the top.

>>864352864352

I'll get right on it when I get back from school.

>>862991862991

Eh, I feel that having a plan narrows down what you can and can't do, it gives you borders. Being free, just writing what you want and when you want it is a lot more fun and provides a greater air of mystery since even the writer has no real idea what will happen next.

Along with that, as addressed by tomax3, the human has no control over this power and is instead being corrupted and transformed to fit a new mould. Also, this is not a self-insert for my name is not Jonathan and the character was not inspired by myself.

>>863966863966

I shall fix that when I return from school.

When something weird happens, just roll with it. Like losing a sock, turning into Discord, going forward in time from 2012 to 2112 (Weirdest. Day. Ever.), and new CDs that skip songs. Why the hell does that happen, anyway? I just bought it yesterday, it's perfectly clean, AND YET IT ALWAYS SKIPS SONG 4. But I digress.

*whistles* Wow, two in one day, good on ya'. I must say I'm liking the suspense build up here, I find that many are hard pressed to do so because they can't quite grasp the difference between suspense and "waiting", you certainly have a good grasp this chapter.

P.S. More plx

A mountain man beard, soul patch, or maybe a certain goatee?

I love the way you portray Discord (sends shivers down my spine), through it make me wonder if the the main 6 (especially Fluttershy) went through somthing similar when they wear mind raped in the hedge maze; who knows maybe they can make a support group for him.

should definitively get a goatee

This is awesome. I await your next chapter.

Great chapter, you have no mistakes this time around.  You also capture the terrifying feel and horror of being nothing more than just a perfect, I thought Discord would just silence Jon from saying anything about his predicament, but now it's much worse.  I'll be waiting for the next chapter with glee.

I have but a question. Do you read fantasy novels that contain large amounts of pages between oh..500- 800 pages.

"and your are not surprised" Either go with the proper form of 'your/you're' (in this case it would be you're) and remove the 'are' or go with 'you are', and not use 'you're'.

Yeesh, I can't even begin to image what Jon (Do you mind if I call him Jon?) is feeling when Discord prevents him from telling the truth, but you did a great job at explaining it. Still having a little trouble, but it's the nature of the topic. I don't think the human mind is meant to comprehend stuff like that. Kinda like how you really can't accurately image what death is like.

gonna enjoy when AJ meets John and tell he is being dishonest

holy shit, almost no dialogue

Dizzy is so to die for when he's all evil and sinister!

it's... taking too long for me i guess.

so little is happening over such a long period of time i'm growing bored D:

still enjoy it though, don't get me wrong

I think the pacing is great so far. It seems slow, but the content is so good I wouldn't want you to speed it up and risk leaving anything out. Just keep doing what you're doing.

Damn it, poor Jonathan... keep fighting! There's bound to be a glitch or loophole somewhere. He's a Spirit of Chaos... he can't be that organised.

"rumbustious snores" You sir have taught me a new word. Interesting word choice.

Looking pretty good. That did seem like a lot of pain for just some more hair. Although the horns probably hurt.

No grammar mistakes this time. Coo' beans.

wait he dosnt eat meat   dang discord really messed him up

he needs to start causeing some chaos

Ponies don't like meat but they can still serve it, I guess it makes sense since they have griffons living here, but still they didn't bother cooking it so no one is going to eat that. ^^;  Sometimes I just kind of wish that Discord would at least give him 'SOME' sense of freedom in a way that he could have a straight conversation with a pony about other things than the changes happening.

>>874564874564 dude, its raw meat that is still oozing with blood. WHO WOULD EAT THAT?! His meat eating is probably still in place, but no one would eat freshly cut stuff like that.

>>876113876113

but free meat

>>877694877694 I'm just annoyed that there wasn't any bacon...

What? Seriously...

-Jorofrarie

>>879765879765

havnt had bacon in a while ive mainly been eating chicken gotta get e some bacon now

meat eaters for the win yaaah

Rick rolled... just lol

Discord if you keep torturing him he won't be able to help you diabolically petty revenge. All he will get is pity and a permanent stay in a psych ward.

Very last word of the chapter you forgot the. "Laughter"

And holy cow!

Do you know what the mark of a truly great story is?

Its when after the reader is done reading, they cant help but think about whats going to happen next.

I cant help but dwell on our poor protagonist and hope he finds a way to defeat the devil in his head.

Then again, i have never seen someone so thoroughly destroyed in one of these fics, maybe it should end tragically. That would set this fic apart from the all the other, "happily ever after" endings out there and IMO would make this just that much more awesome.

Hmm...not bad. Premise is promising, execution has gone well so far...

I shall continue to read this. Let's see what horrors await our human.

Good chapter im glad that the main six are finally here also first

Dammit! This story, I was gonna write something like it!

The torture bit was interesting...well played. Though the "Eeny-Meanie-Miney-Mo" thing was a bit out of place, it was still LOL-inducing.

You've done a good job of turning Discord into the evil, malicious, Chaos god he wold have been were MLP not a kid's show(and I use the term lightly).

Reading on!

How can you miss the signs of possession? Guess Discord has never done it before.

The main six...might actually be what he needs.

>>857052857052 LOL Your comment makes the Changelings seem like The Borg from Star Trek.

Fuck yeah, the Main Six appeared and Discord is now pissing his mental pants!

All we need is for Jonathan's will to remain strong and then the mane six will help him once he tells them that Discord's controlling him.

Ahahahahahahahahaha!.... this is good, i always enjoy a little chaotic fic's!