Alex Johnson is a boy with yellow eyes who grew up bouncing around foster care in St. Louis. He certainly never expected much of life, especially when he was diagnosed with inoperable brain-cancer at age nine, a year ago. However, his life takes a turn he never expected when he's pulled through a rainbow portal thingy into a land of talking ponies, becomes one of said talking ponies, and finds out that his parents are in fact alive. Oh, and they're reformed villains. And one's a princess. And did I mention the other one looks like the result of throwing a zoo into a blender?
Chapters (1)
interesting
I love it so far can't wait till the next chapter.
as a doctor from a game once said "interesting"
Pretty cool, but this ...alex, is like 9 years old? Seems too mature for that age (out of character) but I like the concept
7259541 He was a 10 year old orphan with brain cancer, it could just be the harshness of life forcing him to mature faster than normal...
7277885 one thing is being more mature, other is not react when you are with aliens in an alien body. I don't know, just make him think it is a alutination caused by the cancer or something
7277898 His inaction could be brought on by shock.
This seems interesting. Though like some others are saying, this 9 year old is too mature. He seems more like a teenager to me.
Can you do more please
I like it
Seems interesting enough. I'll keep my eye out for this.
Randomly came across this. Could be interesting, it could be terrible. The truth of the matter is that 1,000 words doesn't really give enough material to judge one way or the other. A few other comments have stated that his age isn't really showing here in his reactions. I think it's more because there's not enough content, again, but you need to be careful to keep the age and mindset in sync. You chose to make your character quite young, and while the maturity does range, gotta make certain he doesn't come off as too mature.
I'll probably keep an eye on this. Also, chapter lengths far exceeding what is present here might serve you better. The writing itself is okay enough, though I'd recommend dropping the space after your opening quotation mark, it's not really required.
I would say the beginning of the story wasn't really good, it felt really rushed and we don't know much about Alex's personalty as such but the background and description of his like was interesting at least. Things are starting to get interesting if still confusing, I am looking forwarded to see what will happen next. I wonder how he became a darconequis pony hybrid? I am guessing that he is possessing Discord's and one of the princesses son, body, which mean he stole it in some way, and I can't imagine anyone will be happy about it went they find the truth. I wonder if he also has any siblings too.
more please
Is this dead?
Abandoned lol