Least Squares is a master of his trade, and his trade is the manipulation of the members of his Council. He knows all the levers that makes the kingdom go 'round.
The only thing is, sometimes the levers break off in your hoof.
Chapters (2)
- Member Since 24th Aug, 2015
- offline last seen 34 minutes ago
Mitch H
“What all the wise men promised has not happened, and what all the damned fools said would happen has come to pass.” ― William Lamb Melbourne
Mitch H
Joined 24th Aug, 2015 ·
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Marked "complete"? This really seems more like the beginning to a longer story rather than a completed work.
7778697 But I've already *got* an ongoing story!
Fine, here's another chapter.
One that fixes a chronology problem with the published version.
The picture is, I'm afraid, possibly the worst picture I've ever seen on a fimfiction story in terms of attracting interest. It's barely possible to make out what it's a picture of even at full size, let alone on the front page, and when I can make it out, I still don't know what it is. My guess is a graveyard from some ancient civilization, which still gives me no idea what to expect and doesn't motivate me to read the story. It's more off-putting than inviting.
This is usually the case. But it is... bold to use the phrases "linear regressions" and "nonlinear approximations" in the third paragraph of a story. I mean, I like it, but I wonder how many readers will start looking for other links to click.
Oh dear. I've known people like that. Even worse, I am a person like that.
Oddly, seeing the word "humanities" ponified made me realize for the first time what an arrogant word it is. As if the sciences were the "inhumanities."
Now I want to write a story about a wizard school that teaches the inhumanities.
Bonus points for using the word "puissant" correctly in a non-military context.
Nice.
How do you even know this word?
I don't think I've ever heard it before. It's perfect.
Dark-leaved saplings are a result of dark magical energies? I'm just guessing.
This is great. I wouldn't call it complete after chapter 1, though.
A bit of garden path sentence here: it's hard not to read this as "process in the moon", since to us "the moon" usually denotes a place, not a time period.
I have some dissonance from the ponies' repeated mentions of dungeons and oubliettes, as if they were common fates of council members. But this is still very good. I don't know if you can keep the story in this chamber much longer, though. We need to see other locations to grok that the abstract discussions in court connect with both the everyday life of the masses, and the personal lives of the ponies in the story. Plus, readers can only take so much procedural drama at one time. Some intermission with a scene change between the scenes in chapters 1 & 2 might have been nice, even if only one or two paragraphs.
8026939 Honestly, the whole thing was an exercise in writing a one-off story, and something more 'Equestrian' than what I've been doing with my long-fic. I might get back to it one of these days, but it ended up being a lot more esoteric than amusing. I couldn't even justify calling it 'comedy'.
For the time being, I'm trying to bring the long thing to a conclusion. My own fault for setting it up as a direct prequel to the show's pilot episode. Or, as it turns out, "Pinkie Pride" and "Where The Apple Lies".
8026919 Sorry about the picture, it's actually a manipulated photo of the ruins of one of the bronze-age temples at Byblos, with the citadel in the background. I didn't have anything particularly appropriate on hand, so it's a place-holder that I had the rights to, being the guy who took the shot.
We had one blow through the eastern Midwest and Mid-Atlantic a few years ago, and it's the name of one of Cold in Gardez's Lost Cities.
I'm glad someone liked this, thanks for commenting.
A Good Mare Does Not Tell A Good Mare What A Good Mare Ought To Know. Especially If He's A Stallion.
This is like two ounces Ghost of Heraclitus, one ounce Gene Wolf and a dash of Yes, Minister.
8027017
You should totally steal the cover from George Winston's cover of "Riders on the Storm:"
i.ytimg.com/vi/ZRt9Sn6Jiuc/hqdefault.jpg
I hope you come back to this at some point. It's a fascinating blend of politics and applied magic.
A bit of a strange story this one. I am not really into pure Administrative story usualy but I am morbidly facinated by how those ponies are going to fuck things up. Or arrest the Mane 6 and Luna for being disruptive elements (get it?
).
It feels dry but at the same time il look like there a big comedy of error lurking beneath.