The Unraveled World

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Thought Prism

Thought Prism #1 · Aug 13th, 2017 · · · Thread Of The Soul ·

Apparently nobody's commented on this yet, so I figured I'd provide some feedback.

In short, I thought this story was okay. The perspective from which we see the events gets thrown around a lot, the pacing is a bit wonky, and there are a multitude of issues with the grammar and formatting (which could be solved by an editor). However, the main plot was well-conceived, and so were the characters. This 'unraveled world' made for a unique twist on the old post-apocalyptic Equestria, given that civilization hadn't collapsed completely. Oh, and Spring Step probably didn't need to be an OC, since somepony like Spitfire or Fleetfoot could have stepped into that role fairly easily. That said, I don't regret the experience.

Eskerata

Eskerata #2 · Aug 13th, 2017 · 1 · · Thread Of The Soul ·

8363807
Gee, it only took seven months for someone to comment. Yeah, I could have used an editor, but the one I used to have, (who was also the only editor who followed through on actual editing), has apparently bailed on the fandom.
I'm glad you liked the overall story. This tale was inspired by my playing "Fallout 4", which is the first time a video game inspired a story. I put a lot of effort into making the characters as three-dimensional as I could, so it's great that you liked them.
Spring Step was written as a character who wouldn't hesitate to kill, as opposed to my other OCs, so I wasn't sure if Spitfire would be a good fit. Oh, well.
Anyway, I'm glad that you like my story.