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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Oh, many new things revealed and even more new questions arising, I like that!
Also, seems like nopony can resist Clover's orders... for long.
I'm really liking this story so far, and I'm diggin these new developements. Flashbacks to the life of a pre-war Zebra? Nice. Mysterious ghoul armed with The Stare? Double nice.
The chapters don't drag on longer than they need to, either. The only thing that needs work is proofreading for grammatical mistakes, and that's not even a consistently occuring issue.
I would say some other stuff needs explaining (Elpis takes in a barmaid?), but I'm seeing that most of them are resolved through the storytelling in bits and pieces, so it's golden.
I do really like the idea that Ardent, a lover of Luna, has Zebra flashbacks.
And keep up the good work!
Nitpicks:
"“and than you may go,”" Then?
"the tiny mare suddenly turning into a miniature tank." Again with the tank, a fantasy equivalent could be a miniatour.
" The other purple alicorn cast a spell and in a burst of magic disappeared. The dark blue one vanished as well." You can easily connect the two sentences for a better flow, ", with" instead of the period would be my suggesting, and then "vanishing" instead of vanished if you follow that suggesting.