This story is a sequel to Sunset Impossible
On the longest day of the thousandth year the Lost Princess shall return. And the Sun shall never set on her reign.
A thousand years has passed since the battle for the day that was later dubbed Nightmare Night.
Most of what took place that night has long since passed into legend; something Equestria's reclusive princess has done little to prevent.
Some say she wishes nothing more than to forget.
Others claim she is waiting.
Only whispers and stories remain. Stories of a lost princess, and the Nightmare she fell fighting.
The truth is far more terrible.
Twilight Sparkle, sole student, and confidante, of Princess Luna, knows nothing of the tragedy that has haunted her mentor for a thousand years. She also knows next to nothing of friendship.
That will soon change.
This ride, I will take.
Just don't forget Celestia's cake.
7667648 Ditto. Looking forward to seeing what happens next!
Have a Favorite, a Track and an Upvote!
7667648 Thanks for the comment. I shall do my best to make it a wild one. Can't promise anything about the cake. It seems to burn up when I try to deliver it to her in the Sun. Maybe after we sort out this prophesy business.
7667716
Thanks for the comment, fav, track, and upvote. You're awesome!
Hopefully I will have something up for you either tonight or tomorrow, though coursework is currently hitting hard.
Unfortunately at this moment I am unable to procure Celestia's cake. Maybe later. She probably deserves it after a thousand years in the Sun!
Good stuff
I like this take on a reverse Celestia-Nightmare Moon confrontation - instead of a jealous Celestia (that is the usual standard), you have Celestia sacrificing herself to banishment in order to defeat the Nightmare and save Luna.
I'm really looking forward to see how Twilight and the rest of the Mane6 will save Celestia (who very probably isn't in her right mind mind after being banished for a millennium and fighting the Nightmare).
A story switching Celestia and Luna's fate that doesn't replace the main characters with glorified second fiddle or background characters with an invented personality grafted onto them? Count me in!
I liked that you made Twilight as big a jerk as she was in the original scene, what with bribing Spike with a sapphire, refusing to give it to him before he sends her letter to Luna and finally not giving it in the end anyway.
Spike knowing about Sunset Shimmer was interesting, that could possibly point to Luna being less secretive than Celestia. I'm also wondering if Sunset reminded Luna of her sister because of her cutie mark (and possibly her personality).
It's also interesting that Spike doesn't capitalize 'princess,' unlike Twilight.
Corrections;
And the Sun shall never set on her reign. (note the period)
The light pollution meant it was perhaps not the best place
She had dismissed the few Night Guards
Though awake as her mentor brought about her namesake, she was currently oblivious (note the comma)
she rushed over to a rather large pile
Sighing, Twilight walked over (note the comma)
she carefully relocked
Overreaching in his quest for gems, Spike lost his balance (note the comma)
Aiming a somewhat sleepy glare at his companion, he held out a claw expectantly for the gem. (note the comma)
"Dear Princess Luna..." (three periods, unless it was deliberate to show Spike interrupting Twilight)
Letters are the most efficient way of conveying information, you know that Spike. (note the comma and Spike's name)
I'm sorry Spike, you're only a youngling.
Princess Luna did say I was her favourite student. (note the period)
Silently breathing a sigh of relief that she hadn't noticed his slip-up, (note the comma)
Spike, she's the Princess of Dreams (note the comma)
Comments;
Nice line.
You use the present participle to start all three of these sentences, you might want to change that.
That's our Twilight alright.
I cringed so hard when you mentioned Chrysalys. I just can't stand changelings.
I love that Luna is more truthful and less manipulative than Celestia ever was on the show. No wonder she has so many fans.
I'm wondering if the lack of yellow cushions in her room is because of Celestia or Sunset...
Corrections;
This early in the morning, the palace corridors were all but deserted. (note the comma)
those of the stern Night Guards
For all that her teacher was seen as a detached and reserved figure to the public at large, Twilight knew (note the comma)
Glaring back at the guard smirking behind her, Twilight took a deep breath (note the comma)
Mentally cataloguing all the ways an open door was impractical for royalty, Twilight stepped into the room. (note the comma)
No, of course not Princess Luna. (note the comma)
No, of course not!
That IS a shame; I know Chrysalis is enjoying (note the semi-colon)
Luna smirked. "That's what THEY think." (note the period)
the last time Chrysalis had visited Canterlot, she continued on (note the comma)
Umm, anyway that made me look deeper. (note the comma)
Predictions and Prophecies by Clairvoyant Gaze
Her teacher not having taken it Twilight pulled the scroll
Thank you for bringing this to my attention (unless the hyphen was deliberate to show Luna's emotions)
Plucking the scroll from Twilight's grasp, she turned away to file the scroll in a nearby cabinet. (note the comma)
It was a losing battle. (not the removed space before the period)
'Princess Luna turned away from the cabinet with a sigh.' would flow better
"It's beautiful." (note the period)
Comments;
Nice line.
Griffons are just jealous ponies get to have pretty manes and they don't.
Totes in character.
Beautiful.
So Sunset ended in Cantelot High by accident? I wonder how her personality is in this alternate timeline...
I want to meet Sunset in this timeline. It sounds as if she and Twilight knew each other, and that could make her redemption either easier or harder.
7670322
Thanks so much for the comments. I've gone over your suggestions and though I didn't end up changing everything there were definitely some things I'd missed so thanks a lot for that. Extra long comments like this with such great critique is my new favourite thing!
One thing is the "Night Guard" is referencing the branch of the guard in both cases rather than specific soldiers thus the lack of pluralisation.
Sorry you don't like Chrysalis. She is going to be rather different here from in show and will likely make at least couple more appearances, but is not a main character.
Yeah, Sunset is an interesting player here. I haven't elaborated on all the history there yet by any means but the prequel short story to this Sunset Impossible and the new chapter should give you a better idea, particularly with how Spike and Twilight relate to Sunset. (Clue Spike is suddenly even more snarky than in the show--I wonder who he got that from?)
I would say Luna is far less secretive. Despite a certain disdain for the elements (see The Cost of Harmony]) she was the element of Honesty and I think at least to some degree that has carried over especially in her personal life. However she is still rather cagey and isn't telling Twilight everything by long shot. She certainly isn't a saint by any stretch.
The princess capitalisation wasn't something I thought about but now you point it out it makes a lot of sense. Even in this alternate timeline Twilight is still very respectful whilst Spike is far more comfortable with thinking of Luna as simply Luna.
Admittedly the Griffon's DO have mane envy, but there is something more there.
Blueblood is in fact the one constant in a changed world.
As for the cushions I think I'll leave that up to you. You're certainly right on the two main contenders though.
7670377
Where she ended up is up for debate. But a good gauge of her personality at least in the early years is the prequel to this Sunset Impossible which is entirely from Sunset's POV about 15 years before this is set.
7670392
Who knows you may get your wish. Probably not in this particular fic though.
There is a short prequel Sunset Impossible set about fifteen years before this which has both Sunset and young Twilight so I would check that out if you're interested.
Depending on how the story flows I may also write another short prequel about how she ended up falling through that mirror, which was under far different circumstances than the show.
7668874
Thanks I'm glad you like the idea!
I liked the concept of a future where just one act had changed and where neither Celestia or Luna was really in the wrong. It was just a horrible situation.
I don't know if you've taken a look at The Cost of Harmony before coming here but that is the story of how Nightmare Moon went down in this universe.
It does give some rather interesting perspectives on exactly why it is Luna appears to be avoiding all mention of the Elements of Harmony.
Twilight with the Canterlot Voice?
7673004 Oh, Lord. THAT is bad.
First, here's a comment I forgot to write in my previous post; in To Question a Princess, you wrote:
What did you mean with 'thestrals?'
Now, onto A Discussion over Breakfast;
Ew, vomit. Twilight sure takes spit takes up to eleven.
And after discussion over Sunset's fate, I'm picturing the mirror activating as she's making out with her reflection, then deactivating as soon as she has fallen in with a noise that sounds suspiciously like 'u mad?'
As long as she ends up making the human Rainbow Dash her lovestruck queen in the other world, I'm okay with it.
I'm wondering if Luna's request to make friends is as manipulative as Celestia's was in the show, or if she's only worrying about her (apparently partly because of Sunset?), with what you said in your reply.
I've only one correction;
Add a comma after 'peace treaty'
This chapter confirms what I was thinking after finishing the previous one; I find it too short. That said, I'm the last person to tell someone to extend their chapters since I can't write a multi-chaptered story to save my life.
I'm surprised the 'Do Not Disturb' is written by hoof, considering Twilight is an unicorn and they tend to use magic to hold their pens.
And one whole hour behind schedule? I'm surprised Twilight didn't get an aneurism over it, even if she was the sole cause.
Corrections;
Add a comma after 'moment'
Add a period after 'Wind'
Add a comma after 'heavy'
Add a comma after 'Well'
Comments;
Who's 'He' here? Spike or Swift Wind?
Twilight's got her priorities straight.
"You know, when you're not mindraping entire species as soon as your first plan fails."
7670436
You're welcome, but I wouldn't call pointing out typos and saying what I liked and disliked great; they're certainly more complete than several others on this site though.
Anyway, I know from personal experience how it feels to write and only get a 'plz more' or things along those lines, so I try to make my comments more worthwhile. And I also know from the same source how it feels to write such long reviews and not even getting a 'thank you' in return, so thanks for actually making the effort to reply to my comments.
Okay.
I probably would dislike changelings less if there were less 'omg X is secretly a changeling,' 'Cadance and Shining Armor have to raise a changeling baby rofl,' 'a changeling comes to Equestria trololol' and various other 'poor little changelings are oppressed waaah' fanfictions on this site.
Would reading these stories spoil things revealed later in this story? I had no idea why it was Celestia who ended up banished when I started reading this and I liked learning about it here.
Glad to be of service.
I figure when the bearer of three of the Elements of Cheat-Win-Button disappears, it screams "OPPORTUNITY" as loud as it does "PLEASE ANNEX US."
I'm surprised Luna didn't fry him on the spot for trying to sit on her beloved sister's throne... or that she even bothers to let him live for that matter.
Sunset is the most obvious since her whole coat is yellow as opposed to only her cutie mark like Celestia, but nothing says it can't be both.
7673160 Thestrals, at least to my understanding, are another term used to describe the specific race of winged ponies that seem to make up Luna's Night Guard (i.e. the ones pulling her chariot in Luna Eclipsed on Nightmare Night)
Now Rainbow Dash as Sunset's lovestruck queen would be interesting. I do intend, though not in this fic to resolve what happened to Sunset and how she ended up portal hopping which is quite different from the main timeline.
Of the three prequel fics. Sunset Impossible I would say doesn't really spoil anything. All it does is give an idea of a younger Sunset in this universe and little Twilight. The other two might be. Ready and Waiting to fall is Sombra and the birth/creation of Nightmare Moon. That isn't something I'm likely to spell out here and it does have the advantage of being my longest fic to date.
The Cost of Harmony is basically a look into Luna's head right after Celestia is banished. It mainly gives a better and more in-depth look at to the immediate effects and Luna's mindset. It brings up a couple of things I haven't spelled out here particularly to do with how I see the elements so if thats something you want to wait to see feel free.
Luna telling Twilight to make friends I would say is only manipulative in the sense that she's pushing her to do exactly that: make friends. Partly because she doesn't have that underlying plan the way chessmaster Celestia would. Luna (who, in my head at least, ascended from a pegasus) is simply 'winging it'.
Currently I'm writing quite short chapters because they are primarily setup. I think once we hit the big return they'll lenghen out pretty quickly. At the minute I'm going for frequency over length though I will try and still a couple together, if it works, to give you guys more to chew on.
The hoofwritten sign is more stylistic choice. Considering we tend to see the non-unicorns using their mouths it's more of a comparision to handwriting. Whether or not Twilight actually wrote the sign or poor Spike had to scribble it out is of course up for interpretation.
Honestly with the way Twilight was clinging to those books I doubt she even noticed how late she was.
And of course there is only one thing more terrible than magic kindergarten: book denial.
Changelingwise I've tried to make them very distinct. There's a clear reason splitting off nearly a thousand years back which has led to them being a very different race and having quite a different (and presumably less invadey) relationship with Equestria
Once again thanks fore such insightful comments and I look forward to reading both your responses and what you think of what comes next
7673092
7673004
Twilight's infamous freakouts = the reason the Golden Oak library has so few windows.
7673412 That's a very good reason, I'll admit.
7673412 Well, remember the Season 3 premiere, where she blew the library up into the air?
I wonder how long it'll take before Rarity turns Twilight into a fashionista.
Sweet Emperor, reading a chapter with Pinkie Pie is worse than chewing glass.
That's not your fault though; I've fallen in loathing with her the instant she opened her mouth. Nobody ruins my enjoyment more easily and completely than she does.
That said, I like this Twilight a lot more after seeing her deck Pinkie in the face and giving her a (sadly short-lived) mental breakdown. And you got her obnoxious assumption mare personality perfectly with her "Of course you like parties."
That said again, the narration from Spike's point of view was hilarious.
I was busy trying to force Pinkie out of my mind for most of the chapter so I might have missed some mistakes or typo, but here's the correction for the one I did find;
'ponies' should be 'pony's'
One comment;
This is hilarious and adorable at the same time.
And sad too if Pinkie breaks into her new house and brings the whole town along with her like in the cartoon.
7673408
Ah, okay. No wonder I didn't find it on the wiktionary.
Sunsetdash is best ship.
I'm still subscribing to Sunset making out with the mirror.
I might read Sunset Impossible if I have time. Nightmare Moon's creation doesn't inspire me as much though, and neither does dealing with Sombra. I'll probably wait for this story to be completed (or at least the first season's rewrite) before reading The Cost of Harmony.
I'm curious about how Luna intends to deal with Nightmare Celestia... unless it turns out she wasn't corrupted at all and is just cranky from tanning to death for one whole millenium.
Interesting choice.
I did think about Spike writing the note, but I figured it would have been 'claw-written' instead.
Oh. Yeah. They don't use their hooves to write in the first place. Maybe it should have been 'mouth-written?' Ah forget it let's just say chicken scratch.
That... might be better for her mental stability.
(Or what's left of it at least. Assuming there was one in the first place.)
I doubt I'll be interested since I don't care much for fancharacters or development of background ponies, but at least I'll dislike it less than dealing with Pinkie Pie.
You're welcome and thanks again for making the effort to reply to me.
Correction:
Should be mannequin.
Actual comment:
Definitely a neat spin on the series' origin story. Looking forward to seeing more!
7678105
Well I can promise no Pinkie Pie at least for a couple of chapters.
On a more positive note see the new chapter for Blueblood's comeuppance.
Mostly the short chapters are to keep the writing moving whilst I'm snowed under with coursework and exams.
Once again thanks and enjoy the next chapter
I love the subtle effects of the "princess swap" through the whole story- coming into it, I expected a story that was more or less the same as Canon with only minor differences, but the characters' differences actually play a part in the story, instead f just being secondary. Very nice ++.
Twilight and Rarity hitting it off over gossip? Twilight really is different in this story.
Corrections;
Add a comma after "dear"
Add a comma after "Twilight"
Add a comma after "so"
Add a comma after "friend"
Maybe find a way to remove the second "eyes" to avoid repetition?
Comments;
Priorities.
See above.
I like Luna better as the ruler of Equestria than Celestia already.
You met her less than one hour ago, Twilight. Besides, don't you know? Ladies do it from behind. All of Ponyville will know about it within five minutes of leaving Rarity.
Luna > Celestia confirmed.
Can't say I like "flank" being used to refer to a pony's rump though, but the show started that stupid trend with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon calling the Overrated Crusaders blank flanks.
CONFIRMED I TELL YOU!
Twilight saying "little bro." Does not compute.
Spike knows his sister well.
So much, in fact, that she was transparent for a few seconds.
There's a fainting couch in the Golden Oak library?
This Twilight truly has a better survival instinct than the original one.
7688786
Best news of the week.
Seen and enjoyed.
At least you have the wisdom of realizing these are more important than fanfiction. I've met people who didn't.
You're welcome.
7703808
Haha I'm glad you liked Blueblood's comeuppance. That one one of the things that wrote itself. It was'nt the main reason for Twilight taking a moment just to chat but it was definitely a fun one.
Well I figured she needed a small break after the chaos of her arrival. That this ended somewhat badly as well is just Murphy's law.
Well you can take Twilight out of the book fort but you can't take the book fort out of Twilight.
Give her a library.....
Haha I'm glad you like my Luna so much.
Certainly I'm trying to differentiate her from Celestia in a positive way which I'm glad comes across. I tend to like my Princesses human with their own flaws and strengths. Lets just say there's a reason its taken so long to get rid of the nobles. Luna;s not all that great at being subtle.
Hmm I don't much mind either, but if you can think of an alternative that works I'll be happy to change it.
Yeah one of those big differences from the cannon I guess. Twilight and Spike (at least at the beginning) have a much more clearly established sibling relationship and closeness.
I guess it comes from already loosing a sibling.
This I will take from cannon. It's Rarity's greatest magical talent, summoning a fainting couch, wherever she is.
Spike also has an excellent self preservation instinct. Must be familial.
Once again thanks for the awesome comments.
I'll get on those corrections now
haha this is hilarious also not to be mean or anything but you messed up moondancers name when she is mentioned
7710656 Haha glad you like.
Don't worry it was intentional. And as long as people are like about it I really don't mind people pointing out where I went wrong or need improvement. (See Knight of the Raven) I was debating over whether to put Moondancer's name correctly. Then I remembered Twilight struggling to remember her old Canterlot friends names at the start of Amending Fences.
On that basis I decided Twilight would almost certainly remember Moondancer's name wrong,
Thus Twilight remembered it inaccurately. Can't have her being too good a friend before character development after all.
7710928 hahaha nope bad twi for remembering her name wrong XD
continued good stuff
ahh good old rainbow crash here to ruin another bonding moment yet again i hope flutters gives her a tongue lashing when she has ago a twi for bullying fluttershy
Rainbow is crashing!
7704028
She's indeed not subtle, but apparently not to the point of pulling a Night of the Long Knives.
Do Princesses Dream of Magic Sheep? spoiler:
I wonder if she still summoned the tantabus to punish herself for becoming Nightmare Moon and forcing her sister to banish herself.
Well, I can only think of rump.
I hope she treats him less like a slave than the canon Twilight does then.
I'm so looking forward to more info on Sunset.
I guess her cutie mark should have been a couch.
Anyone near Twilight "if it doesn't work at first MIND RAPE ALL THE THINGS" Sparkle would have such an instinct.
You're welcome again.
7713757
Hmm well that would be highly irresponsible considering she's running the country at this point. I certainly haven't ruled it out though.
We can only hope.
Sunset is one of those things that is going to be hinted here but will come out in full in a later story, probably when Discey deigns to wake up from his thousand year nap.
Metaphors darling metaphors
Well they wouldn't exactly survive long otherwise.
Any thoughts on the two new chapters in particular? I should have a new one out in the next couple of days.
You've gotten my attention... But can you keep it?
555.
Hmm...
Wait, wha?! Sunset is Two's sister in this story!? Well that's a twist...
7724864
She can summon it after Celestia comes back too.
Or else Twilight will have some 'splaining to do when Sunset Shimmer comes back.
Sunset Shimmer dealing with pre-reformation Discord would be delightful. Even if I like her human version's design much more than her pony version's.
Well, not as the same people at least.
I'm going to post comments on the four last updates since I last reviewed after this reply.
So the overrated trio of annoyance already know each other before Call of the Cutie? Interesting. A shame for Ponyville, but interesting.
Corrections;
There's a double space between 'marking' and 'out'
Capitalize Applejack
it's
I suggest you skip to the next paragraph after the line about Twilight; I was vonfused at first upon reading the spoken line because I thought it was Twilight who said it, not Apple Bloom.
Comments;
Twilight doesn't even get Moondancer's name right.
Glad to see this Twilight isn't too different.
I hope she's not flanderized as hard as in the original Lesson Zero if you rewrite that episode though.
I hope Spike realizes how shallow he's being.
And how the Element of Manipulation, sorry, Generosity leads him by the nose. 
A terrifying prospect indeed.
My Little Pony: Pragmatism is Magic.
~Oh, what's so wrong with a little competition~
The High Canterlot accent is always a mistake.
Famous Last Words.
I'm surprised Twilight was so lenient as to not tell Luna about the bullies' racism. Anyway, they'll probably try to get revenge. Vermin always takes revenge.
Corrections;
Add a comma after 'Celebration'
can't
Add a comma after 'Why'
lose
Add a period after 'sorry' and capitalize 'she'
Comments;
And worst of all - book eaters.
How did that encounter with a cockatrice in Stare Master go again?
Ugh, brony slang.
I'd have loved to see Twilight buck Rainbow in the face when she lifted her tail.
Corrections:
hooves
couldn't
Add a space after 'Blasty,'
Add a 'to' after 'out' and a comma after 'shoulders'
Add a period after 'known'
Remove the quotation marks, unless Twilight started narrating her actions out loud. Which would be hilarious.
Add a period after 'right'
Add a period after 'me'
Replace the period after 'today' with a comma
Replace the period after 'Twi' with a comma
Add a comma after 'way'
Comments;
Rainbow Property Damage Dash!
"Make out with Fluttershy. With tongue."
"
"
I wouldn't be so sure.
So Luna didn't even plan anything for the eventuality of Celestia coming back completely insane? I guess that proves they are sisters, they're both as useless and incompetent as the other.
Glad to see she's realizing her idea about Twilight making friends sounds terrible. Even though it's what will save Equestria.
I'm wondering if anything will come out of a strong navy "becoming more and more necessary, especially now."
I found two mistakes;
Today Twilight was on a quest
Add a period at the end
Uh oh... INCOMING!
Wait... Oh merciful emperor.... Solar Flare....