Drinking the serum is an extremely difficult choice, but at least you know it will turn you into a pony.
Right?
(A satire of, and salute to, the genre that once couldn't be stopped.)
Commissioned by iisaw. Proofread by Neko Majin C. Preread by Muruschio, Pickleless, KingMoriarty, Troubleshooter, and Ariamaki.
Summoning Archonix
Going to assume it hasn't changed overmuch since I last read it, and just go ahead and favorite it and say it's hilarious.
7660153
Hey, random authority figure, how come Fimfic says this story has zero words?
It has more words than that. I checked. Twice.
Glad to have been of some small assistance to the person with the smuggest icon of P-Money I've ever seen yet.
Neato peato mamapapa! I have been looking forward to the release of this story.
Explain yourself.
Either iisaw or Aragon, I don't really care.
Awesome!
7660217
Whimsy.
7660233 Fair enough, I guess.
Literally every conversion bureau story ever.
That was hilarious and disturbing all rolled into one. Hilariously disturbing.
Celestia's solution was hilarious
7660238
Nope.
Clearing this up as soon as possible -- this story is a satire of the genre, but I don't attack any character or particular story. i'm not that mean-spirited (neither is the story) and I have never interacted with Chatoyance, nor do I wish to do anything against her.
Lafayette is not based on anybody, he's just a character.
So this is a thing.
7660253
Naah, it ain't that. The prompt was to have the serum turn you into a donkey, based on the pun in the title. Again: I don't know Chatoyance, so I would never do something that mean.
Thanks for reading, I guess, but please stop insulting users on my comment section. It's a little uncomfortable.
7660267 sorry about that I just felt the story was one big coincidence but since you asked I'll delete the previous comments and I would like to apologize
7660242
Yes! See, he's a frikkin' genius!
7660293 No, he's a chicken! A chicken, I'm telling you! (Meaning only in the most loving tongue-in-cheek fashion after the old Animaniacs skit, Chicken Boo.)
(FYI: Although I'm not a follower, I have read and enjoyed Chatoyance's stuff.)
7660193
The chapter was probably published with 0 words, then the words were added later. The counter still counts the original amount.
Is my guess, at least. That's the most common explanation.
7660305
7660340
Christ almighty. For the third time: nothing to do with Chatoyance, this is about the Conversion Bureau in general. I don't know anything about Chatoyance. Stop talking about her, darksymphony. No need to delete your comment again, but please stop saying stuff that might start a fight in the comment section when I have never said anything about that author.
7660351 You should start quoting those comments so they can't delete them. It's more fun for the rest of us that way.
I'm removing this bit of trolling because it's a Bad Thing to do it on Aragon's story, since Aragon is objectively a sweetheart.
I'm going to continue said trolling on my blog tho, because you heathens need to hear the truth.
I saw that ending coming but I didn't think you'd actually do it. Comedy gold!
does this happen before the 2016 american presidential elections?
can it?
Please..?
Alright, that was worth a good thirty seconds laughter. Good show.
It's sad because it's true.
Welcome to England, enjoy your stay.
I honestly didn't want to laugh at this, but somehow, it's still funny. It seems that iisaw makes better stories when not actually writing them.
7660839
I'm pretty sure everything he wrote was a joke.
Anyone who falls for it needs to wear a dunce cap and go sit in the corner.
Gotta say, great title and chapter name.
Holy mood whiplash! That got dark very quick. Although Celestia did probably make the best decision for herself, poor ol Dani is gonna need more than ice cream. I honestly forgot how dark satire can get.
I did love the early sections though just for the back and forth. Also, accidently taking Russia was pretty good.
So, yeah, a pretty good satire which understands the many shades of humour.
Also, poor Voltaire, would not do well in the conversion bureau verse,,,
7661183
Eh, so-so.
This totally needed a Celestia preparing a musical concession in the beginning.
'Springtime for Celestia and Equestria.
Winter For China and France'...
Oh dear.
I'm not too familiar with the Conversion Beureau universe, or comfortable with the spelling of Bureau but I've caught enough from the fringes to have a basic understanding.
I'd withstood the name of the story comfortably enough, but I wasn't prepared for the chapter title.
I also wasn't expecting that ending.
Top marks.
✔✔✔
SO TOPICAL
WOW
DONKEY
I LAUGHED
Within a day of uploading, one of the big Conversion Bureau fics updates...
You are sharing the feature box with actual old-guard CB stuff right now.
Much topical.
I might this read this. Even though I hate Conversion Bureau stories.
Have you ever dipped into dark comedy territory?
You get a like simply on the strength of the title.
Edit: Let's make that a fave, now that I've finished the story. I've rarely seen a story so dark and so light-hearted at the same time, and I mean that "light-hearted" part literally. Celestia and Luna will get over this, and the mortals, well, they don't bear grudges when they're dead!
What the FUCK did I just read?
7661155
I like to imagine Celestia and Luna surprised to find themselves banished and imprisoned in the place they were banished to.
7661831
Knowing a couple of the... interesting stories you've written, I'd say you'll probably enjoy this one.
Something is clearly wrong here.
Back when USSR was still a thing, there was a joke that went like this:
A polish man founds a magic lamp containing a genie. The genie offer him three wishes.
"First, I want China to invade Poland then withdraw.
Secondly, I want China to invade Poland and then withdraw.
And lastly, I want China to invade Poland and then withdraw."
The genie hesiate.
"If that is your wishes, I can make them come true. But why? Why three time the same strange wish?"
"Simple, the chineses would pass by Russia six times."
I have no idea how to feel about this. It was one of the darkest fucking things ever. You sir, have a very warped sense of humor.
Have a like.
So I was thinking about this for a bit: Celestia moved the Sun, our Sun, because she knows the Earth orbits around it. What she probably doesn't know is that it's not just the Earth that orbits the Sun, and that the Sun itself is in orbit around the Milky Way. So not only did she kill billions of people, but she also disrupted the entire Solar System and possibly the galaxy and/or universe. Not such a good idea now, is it Celly?
7660930
Ouch, poor iisaw. If it is of any consolation, everything in this story but the very title is mine -- good ol' iisaw didn't even give me a prompt. He just told me to write a story called 'The Conversion Burro', threw stuff at my face, and asked me to Aragón all over it.
7662031
You just read the story, you tell me.
(But yeah, for real now, I have. Many times, in fact. I've touched most forms of comedy out there at this point).
7662724
Well, that's the fun bit. Celestia holds absolute power over Equestria -- it's established that democracy is a thing, but they still can do nothing she doesn't want to, and she can do whatever she pleases, because in her opinion it's just better.
So they'll face no consequences. The benefits of absolutism! (And writing really dark things with a light-hearted tone!)
7668575
Here's my headcanon for Twilight's true destiny. It's practically inevitable!
I'm still a touch confused on how everyone dies, though.
Okay, she moves the sun, fine.
The earth doesn't instantly move with the sun. The gravity of the sun's pull would take time to reach us and then our course would adjust accordingly. Now, long-term this could lead to some pretty dire things depending on degree of motion (Like if she shoved it say, the length of Sun -> Venus in one direction), but if it's only the few thousand miles it should take to get the Barrier no longer on Earth, I believe the physics works out for minimal harm.
PEDANTIC SCIENCE ARGUMENTS WHOO
7670592
Didn't include it in the story (so I guess it's not canon?) but the way I see it, she pretty much shoves the sun into Earth, then flings it the hell away so the entire solar system is slingshot'd away from the barrier.
So yeah, every human is dead. If not now, they'll soon be. Celestia didn't move the sun slowly, she pulled it super fast -- so even if the gravity push doesn't kill them, the sudden lack of warmth and light sure will.