Penumbra
Chapter 1: The Players.
Twilight sighed as she ran the hairbrush through her bangs. Staring in the mirror, she examined her sleep deprived reflection and wished that she could just get some damn rest. How long had it been since she hadn’t woken up screaming? A month? Two? The bags under her eyes couldn’t answer the question. A low moan from the corner of the room was all it took for her already thin patience to snap.
"Will you two stop it already?!" she screamed at Applejack and Rainbow Dash, her voice cracking
The two broke their kiss apart to give her a sidelong look before they resumed what they were doing. They moaned into each other’s mouths as they pressed together. From the way their jaws were moving, Twilight guessed they were using tongue.
With a sigh and a mutter, the unicorn turned back to her mirror and examined her reflection again. Tired. That was the one word that came to mind. Just so very tired.
But tired of what?
Noticing a little bit of sleep in the corner of her right eye, Twilight leaned in closer and delicately grasped it with a thin field of magic. She pulled on it gently, and the grain of sand came away from her eye. Except it was also being drawn out of her eye. The small dot of sleep extended into a short and thin bug-like antenna. After a second of more pulling, the small black carapace of some insect became visible from underneath her eyelid. Panic settling in her chest, Twilight really started to drag the feeler out now. Slowly… painfully… part of the writhing creature’s body became visible. Half a centipede was wriggling in the air. Pulling even harder than before, slowly but surely, segment by segment of the creature came out, its wretched legs writhing. Finally, the centipede’s head was out, but before Twilight could toss it away it stung her naked eye.
Screaming in pain and half-blind, Twilight dropped the bloody insect to the ground and fell to the floor. She spasmed and twitched with the pain. She could feel her eye bubbling and dissolving with the venom. Slowly her nerves deadened and she found herself unable to move.
"What’s the matter, sugar-cube?" Applejack asked as she walked over to a duster coat lying on the ground. After putting it on, Malus calmly trotted the distance between herself and the wounded unicorn. "Mother," she added with a respectful nod.
Moving suddenly and violently, Mal grabbed her horn and pressed it to the ground with one hoof. With her other hoof she reached under her coat and retrieved a hatchet, which she brought down on the base of her parent’s horn.
Twilight tried to scream in pain but the centipede’s venom left her paralysed. The unicorn could only` watch as the Mal used the point of the broken horn to draw a bloody scar underneath her own green eye. Turning the horn over in her hoof, Malus walked back over to her mother and positioned it above her remaining eye.
"In the land of the blind, the one eyed mare is queen." Appearing suddenly, Celestia’s mouth twisted into a sneer of contempt. From her face, two mismatched eyes stared down at Twilight, one rose, the other emerald. "Kill her," the deity ordered balefully.
Spectra appeared at her sisters side, and together the two pressed Twilight’s horn down into her eye.
O
Penumbra sat up and lashed out with her magic, seeking the source of her pain and a way to punish it. With no living creatures detected around her, she realised she was lying in bed. After a few more seconds’ deliberation, the pony remembered where she was. With a sigh, she lowered her head against her pillow again.
Another dream.
---
Spike raised a spoonful of warm oats to his mouth as he watched Malus and Spectra spar in the royal gardens. This was something of a morning ritual. Despite being two ponies that more or less hated one another, Mal and Spectra sure spent a lot of time together. They were the only ones who could give each other any kind of competition in the ring, so the two found themselves having to fight each other in order to get any form of real practice. The last time a royal guard had tried to get in the ring with Spectra, he‘d had to be carried away by the bout’s end. So, not only were the two princesses the only ponies who could give each other any kind of a challenge, but they were the only ponies who would even try.
These bouts typically took one of two directions. In one, Spectra’s superior speed would allow her to win in the early fight, or in the other Mal would hold her off and wear her out until the earth pony’s superior strength and endurance would win out.
It was very entertaining to watch as well. Both ponies were masterful fighters, and their supernatural abilities made sure the rounds were spectacular. Mal’s unnatural strength would leave cracks and dents in the stones they fought on, and Spectra’s speed was just an incredible thing to witness. Spike felt that the truth was if the two ever seriously fought, it would be Spectra who won. Her massive stores of pegasus magic granted her control of the weather and even more enhanced speeds. True, the earth pony had large stores of her own magic, but everybody knew earth pony magic was passive and uncontrollable. Plus the ability to grow crops was of little use in a fight. Still, for the sake of practice, Spectra rarely tapped into her magical reserves, preferring to work her own skills.
This was one of the later morning bouts, and judging by the headlock Mal had on Spectra, Spike guessed that it would be the earth pony who would win this round. Once that mare got a grip, he doubted there were many non-magical forces around that would break it. Eventually Spectra stopped her struggling. However, a wicked grin spread on her face as her mane started to stand on end, as if lifted by static. Mal noticed and let go but not before she was hit with a sharp snap of electricity from the Pegasus. Apparently Spectra wasn’t going to play fair this morning.
The two ponies stared at each other. Spectra loved the fact that she could always defeat her sister if she wanted to and took great joy in letting her know it. Malus merely spat in disgust before turning away and heading back indoors.
Spike shook his head sadly and stood up off the bench he’d been sitting on. He didn’t like those two ponies in the slightest, but it still irked him to see the two of them refusing to get along. They were supposed to be family weren’t they? Picking his bowl and spoon up, Spike walked inside and headed up the stairs. Everywhere around him palace attendants and servants rushed around in preparation for tonight’s Summer Sun Celebration. He took the time to hand his dirty dish to a passing butler.
This celebration in particular was special, as it was the longest night of the thousandth year. Spike couldn't help but chuckle at the thought of some of the wild parties and celebrations that would occur Equestria-wide tonight. Last year he’d snuck out of the palace and joined one himself, and he’d awoken the next morning in bed with a mare! That had been a hard one to explain to a less than approving Penumbra.
No longer the knee high baby dragon he once was, Spike was now on eye level with most ponies, though he still had to look up at the stallions of the royal guard. Arriving at the door to Penumbra’s bedroom, he knocked and waited for a response from inside. After no sound was heard, he pushed the door open and entered her room. Spotting Penumbra standing out on her balcony, he began to walk towards her. She appeared to be concentrating on something in the distance.
As Spike approached, he felt one of her tendrils of magic brush over him before wrapping around him. Most ponies found Penumbra’s magical sight terrifying. Whenever one of those tendrils touched you, you could feel a fraction of Penumbra’s magical might, and it was enormous. Not just enormous but simply staggering in every way. Spike didn’t mind it as much because he had grown up being used to it, but he’d heard other ponies compare the sensation to being like a bug trapped in the grip of a young foal’s hooves. He couldn’t help but wonder how those ponies would react if they ever got caught in the grip of their goddess when she awoke from a nightmare.
"Spike," she greeted him with a smile. "How was your breakfast?"
"Okay I guess,’ he answered. "Spectra and Mal are fighting again."
Penumbra’s smile dropped, and she sighed sadly. "Of course they are." Turning back to the balcony, she shook her head. "It doesn't matter. Are they ready for this evening?"
"Yeah, they’re ready." Spike nodded. Even though she was blind, he knew that she’d detect his actions through the magic that now gently brushed against his every movement. "Listen, I gotta be honest. I think that you’re getting worried about nothing. I highly doubt that the Nightmare Moon, the one from the foals’ tales, will return to bring about eternal night time."
Penumbra laughed at that for some reason.
Spike didn't see what was so funny so he continued speaking anyway. "You’re always talking about destiny and whatnot like you've actually seen it or something. It’s been like a decade since that thing with the line in the sky, and you’re still convinced that that somehow proves it exists. I know you never explained much to me about that, but I fail to see how that one event proved anything."
She only smiled ruefully as she asked. "How long have you thought that?"
"I dunno,’ the dragon shrugged. "I didn’t think about it much back when we first started talking about this. But now the more I think about it, the more it all sounds crazy to me."
Penumbra sighed and turned away. "You would not believe how ironic what you’re saying is."
Spike shook his head in confusion. Penumbra could be like this from time to time. Usually she behaved like she did when in front of the court or her children, maintaining a regal bearing and a wise ageless air. But often when she was alone with him, she adopted the speech and mannerism of a modern mare in her twenties. It could be a little irritating actually. When she dropped the act she could often be sarcastic or a little bit of a smart-ass. (Like now for example.) But the especially annoying part of when she behaved like this was when she acted like she knew something that Spike didn’t. As if there was some joke that only she’d heard.
Penumbra looked back over the city. If Spike had to guess, he’d say her magical tendrils were probably out there roaming over something he couldn’t see.
She continued, "Besides, Nightmare returning is only one of three possible outcomes. I’ve told you this before."
Spike rolled his eyes. "I know, I know. The worst case scenario is Nightmare appears and that’s the one we’re worried about. The others are she’s dead when she appears, having died like Celestia and Cadence did, and the last is Luna appears. Although you still haven’t explained to me why that would be different from Nightmare appearing. Aren't they the same pony?"
She didn’t answer. Preferring to keep an eye on whatever it was that she was overseeing.
"Penumbra?" Spike asked after a minute of silence.
She looked at him over her shoulder. "Just make sure everything is the way I told you it should be."
Spike nodded before turning around and heading for the door.
"Oh, and Spike?"
He paused at the door.
"I don’t want to catch you in bed with another mare this year. Got it?"
Grinning impishly, Spike shut the door behind himself.
That was a wild night.
---
The three pebbles sat there unmoving under Malus’s glare. One was a simple white stone of quartz, the other was dark granite and the final, was a light brown sandstone.
Mal knew that to anyone watching she’d look crazy or stupid. This was the sort of thing a unicorn foal might do while learning to control their magic. It was not uncommon to witness a young unicorn gazing expectantly at a stone, or similarly weighted object, with the hopes of levitating it through sheer concentrated effort. However, to witness an earth pony foal attempt that was laughable, let alone a full grown one. Earth pony magic was passive in nature, meaning it could not be tapped into at will. So Malus, who was the most magically charged earth pony in existence, should know better than anyone to try and move stones with her mind. Right?
Under her gaze the quartz skittered across the table before coming to rest in front of her.
Passive hey?
Mal felt a good deal of satisfaction as the two other pieces of stone slid across the table to join the first. Raising her front legs, she picked up the sandstone between her forehooves. Being certain not to tap into her earth magic, and only using her own strength, she pressed her hooves together. With some effort they slowly started to come together and the sandstone was crushed into its namesake. Letting the grains fall to the ground, Malus enjoyed the very light tingle of exertion in her shoulders.
She picked up the granite now, except this time she picked it up with her mouth and carefully positioned it with her tongue between her back teeth. Tapping into her magic now, she began to bite down, and was rewarded by how easy it was to reduce the grey-black stone to a pile of dust.
Oh, everyone said that earth ponies couldn't use magic, and they were mostly right, but they’re oh-so wrong as well.
Between her teeth the hard chunk of granite was crunched into a pile of grainy sand and dust. Mal kept chewing until she noticed a stray leaf by the window move in a slightly unusual manner. There was no wind today, and thus she reached a different conclusion as to why the leave must have moved. Immediately, she released her hold on her earth pony magic, and just in time to as she felt one of her mothers’ tendrils brush over her.
That was close.
If her mother hadn’t fumbled around slightly, Malus had no doubt that she would have been caught controlling a passive magic. She wasn’t entirely sure why yet, but she’d always tried to keep her magic hidden from others. Maybe it was like an ace in the hole. Spectra certainly enjoyed feeling like she could overpower anypony she wanted, so maybe Mal did too. Except that wasn’t it. She might not know why she kept her talent secret, but she knew she didn’t care that much about being able to defeat her sister. She just got annoyed when the other mare insisted on cheating.
Maybe it had more to do with not trusting her own mother. Ever since the day her mother had tried to strangle her twice, Mal felt like she needed some way to protect herself. A way to catch the old alicorn off-guard if worst came to worst.
Thinking of her mother made Mal feel uneasy. She didn’t know why, but she could never shake the impression that Penumbra knew more about Malus than she knew about herself. When she thought about it though, that didn’t sound like much that was worth worrying about. Most mothers claim to know more about their children then they themselves do. But to Mal it made her feel… angry maybe? Worried? Like there was something wrong? She really wasn’t very good at identifying her own emotions. Was this the way it was supposed to be anyway? Penumbra was a deity after all, and her own mother at that. It only made sense for her to know a lot about her own daughter.
The door behind her whacking open ended her contemplations.
"Hey dumb-shit!" a scratchy voice shouted out.
Mal rolled her eyes. Spectra was an idiot. How could one pony be so loud? It was just incredible how much of a complete moron that cyan mare was. Her attitude, her behaviour. Really everything about her was just so… It was almost like she was designed to be as painful as possible to be around. Mal was unsure how she felt about her mother, but she was sure of how she felt about her sister.
Spectra strode through the door and over to her sister’s side. "Come on, let’s go! She’s already in the carriage and we need to…" she trailed off as she saw Mal sitting before a single white pebble. "What are you doing?" Her ears twitched sharply and Mal guessed that she’d just felt Penumbra’s gaze. "And why’s she watching you?"
Rather than answer, she slid the white pebble into her jacket pocket with her hoof. Turning her head, Malus spat out a mouthful of dirt before donning her hat and walking out the door past her sister.
Glancing at the wet soil lying on the floor, Spectra turned and followed her sister. "Were you just eating dirt?"
The hoofsteps behind Malus sped up until her sister pulled ahead and in front of her, where she dropped back to a normal pace.
Spectra chuckled, looking over her shoulder at her sister. "You are retarded aren’t you? You’re like that foal who eats dirt in the corner or something."
Malus did not deign to justify that statement with a response.
Spectra continued to stare at her hoping for some kind of reaction, but when none was given her sneer dropped and she turned to face the front. "Whatever."
They walked in silence for a while until the pegasus dropped back to walking alongside the earth pony. Malus was surprised by this but didn't comment.
"So…" Spectra said. "Summer Sun tonight." She gave a pointed look at her sister.
A nod was given.
"What do you want to do?" Spectra asked.
Mal saw fit not to answer that question.
Spectra seemed to be unable to understand that Mal was more comfortable with silence. "I mean after we’re done with this Nightmare thing. Do you want to go find a party or something?"
She saw fit not to answer that too.
"Come on, it’s Summer Sun. We’re always together for Summer Sun."
True. You know, for somepony that supposedly hates me, you want us to spend an awful lot of time together.
Spectra snorted. "You’re just pissed about this morning, aren’t you?"
Not really.
Getting no visible response from Malus, Spectra rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I’ll go alone then. Maybe I’ll just pick up some mares and take them back to the palace with me. Have my own little party."
Mal’s stomach clenched at that. "Fine then."
"Huh?"
Malus shrugged. "Fine."
"Fine as in go alone, or fine as in…?"
"We’ll hang out."
Spectra instantly pulled ahead again. "Yeah whatever. If you want to then I guess I can spend some time with you. But you know you’re coming off as pretty desperate, right?"
It was Mal’s turn to roll her eyes. Spectra was such an idiot.
They arrived in the courtyard where the flying carriages rested, hitched up and ready to go. Without saying anything the two sisters parted paths. Malus climbed into a chariot and Spectra flew on her own since she was faster than any other pegasus around.
Settling into her seat, the mare turned to face the carriage’s other occupants. "Spike, mother," she greeted each with a tip of her hat.
"Malus," her mother intoned with a nod of her head. "What was your discussion with Spectra about?"
Mal knew that Penumbra had maintained her magical sight on her and her sister from the bedroom to the courtyard. Really, she found it impossible to be relaxed with those little reminders of her mother’s 'love' wrapped around her. Normally bruises, like the ones that Penumbra gave Malus all those years ago, took mere minutes to heal. But for some reason those black and blue patches had lasted for days.
"Plans," she said turning to face the window.
"Plans?" Penumbra repeated as a question.
Malus nodded.
"Plans for what?" Penumbra asked.
"Tonight."
The tendril’s normal roving paused for a second. Then it dipped into Mal’s pocket and retrieved the quartz pebble. "What is this?" the lavender pony asked, sounding perhaps a little perplexed at the white stone floating in the air before her.
Her daughter didn’t answer.
"Spike would you please tell me what this is?" the blind mare turned to Spike.
"It’s a stone. Um… just a quartz stone." The dragon turned to Malus. "Why have you got that in your pocket?"
Rather than answer, Mal took the stone back in her mouth, and returned it to its old place. She could feel her mothers’ supernatural gaze linger on the stone as it rested in her coat. Eventually Penumbra lost interest and her tendrils resumed their normal roving as the carriage pulled away and took to the air.
There were a couple of grains of granite still lingering in her mouth, so Mal gathered them onto her tongue and spat them out the window. One last piece of stone remained so she picked it out with her hoof and wiped it on the empty seat next to her. Spike witnessed this, and leaned over to get a better look at the black speck which had just come from the princesses’ mouth.
He glanced up at her and back down at the speck. Returning his stare to Malus, he said, "Why have you got dirt in your mouth?"
Mal’s response was pretty typical of her.
The trip to Ponyville was almost two hours by flying carriage, and it wasn’t long before Penumbra started to relax and fall into a light sleep. Hearing the change in her mother’s breathing, Malus turned around and watched her mother’s chest’s gentle rising and falling. Her gaze shifted to the scarred patches of flesh that occupied the space her mother’s eyes must have, once upon a time.
How did she get those wounds? Mal had been burned before; she'd been burned badly in her fight with Chrysalis at the battle of Manehattan, and she’d never scarred. What could give those wounds to an alicorn? The only answer she could think of was another alicorn. But the only other alicorn around had been Celestia. Had the old princess done those to her?
That didn’t seem likely. Penumbra was never anything but respectful, or even reverent, towards the old ruler’s memory. For her whole life, Malus remembered Penumbra having those scars. Living alone with her mother and her sister. Being trained in and out, all day every day for something. Then the day arrived when the ruler-to-be announced that Celestia was dead, and that she now was responsible for the entire world.
What colour had her eyes been? Back when she still had them. Were they once green or pink like her daughters were? Or were they as different from her children’s as everything else about her was? Really the three ponies didn’t look anything alike. Both Mal and Spectra obviously took after their respective fathers but then that raised the question: who were their fathers? Was either pony still alive?
"Why are you staring at her?" Spike interrupted her reverie.
She glanced at him before returning her attention to its original place on the passing scenery.
Spike seemed unhappy with that response. They sat in silence for a while before he got bored once more. "So... You and Spectra are fighting again?"
Malus looked at him and tilted her head to the side.
"I mean, this morning. She cheated and you... Well you spat and... I dunno. You just don’t seem like you’re getting along with each other at the moment."
She returned her head to an upright position. "When did we ever get along?"
Spike shrugged. "I dunno. When you were foals maybe?"
Mal snorted and turned back to the window. "Not then either."
"Oh..." he looked dejected. "Why? Didn’t Penumbra ever try to make you two get along?"
She shook her head.
If anything it seemed like she wanted us to fight.
Spike seemed surprised at that. "Really? Why not?"
Malus shrugged.
I’m not sure she was ever interested in having daughters.
Spike seemed a little put off by this. "Well, when I was growing up Penumbra always tried to make me do the right thing. She made certain that I always resolved any problems I had with other ponies."
She gave him a glance.
She didn’t do that with us.
"She always tried to raise me to be a decent pony, well... dragon, but the point is she never let my fights last long."
Was that jealousy Malus was feeling? She crushed whatever the emotion was and tossed it aside. She’d always known that Penumbra never loved her. This was just a confirmation of that. She supposed she and Spectra had been raised differently from Spike because Penumbra wanted different things out of them. With the dragon she wanted a son apparently, and with her daughters she wanted two ponies to do her dirty work. Or at least that was how it seemed.
After that the carriage lapsed back into silence, occasionally punctuated by Spike trying to break it. Mal however was in no mood to talk. She felt that between her conversation with Spectra, Penumbra and the dragon she’d had enough chit-chat for the day. After a while he gave up on trying and lapsed into a bored silence. Malus glanced back at her mother’s sleeping form.
What are you?
She wasn’t sure who she was asking that question to. But it needed an answer.
---
Readjusting the saddlebag on her back, Vinyl hummed an imagined tune under her breath as she trotted down the stairs. There were thousands of songs like this floating through her head at any one time. She could only occasionally get them out of her head when the she stayed in one place long enough to properly write them out on sheet. Even then they’d sound nothing like they would in their final form. With only her own mixing table and no recording booth, the songs she could make were pretty average really. The only gigs that DJ P0N3 got were wedding receptions or similarly low key parties. Events where the songs she could play were crap from a list of shit, chosen by retards who wouldn't know good music if it bit them on the flank.
Classical… eugh.
Still, tonight would at least be fairly awesome if she had her say about it. For a stinking deity, Penumbra had some surprisingly awesome tastes in music. Tonight was Summer Sun, and guess who got to be DJ? P0N3! This was her first real shot at hosting a decent party and she was not gonna mess this up. Plus the list of tracks provided didn’t make Vinyl want to gouge her ear drums out with a screwdriver.
"Yo Seafoam, Sweets! I’m heading out!" she called over her shoulder as she arrived at the front door.
"Wait a second!" Lyra called out in response.
Oh great.
Ignoring the request for an extra second, Vinyl opened the door and headed outside. She trotted down the street for a moment until she heard the sound of galloping hooves behind her.
Damn it.
"Vinyl, wait up!" Lyra called out, and the DJ responded by slowing down enough to let her catch up.
"Sup Seafoam?" Vinyl asked once the other pony was alongside her, though she didn’t stop to speak. Rather the mare kept walking, but at a pace that would make any serious discussion difficult.
The green party panted as she answered. Seriously? She was that out of breath from that short of a gallop? All those sweets from Sweets must be having an effect. "Me *huff* and BonBon *huff* were wondering if you’d like to have lunch with us?"
"Lunch today?"
I already know the answer. She totally wants lunch today.
Lyra nodded "Yeah, *huff*."
Vinyl gave Lyra a sad face as she answered. "Oh, sorry Lye, but I’m gonna be busy with DJ stuff."
And now she’s gonna press the issue.
"How about tomorrow then?"
Vinyl sucked air through her teeth. "Sorry, but I don’t think I’ll still be in Ponyville by tomorrow."
Especially if sticking around means sharing that lunch.
"Oh…" Lyra looked glum. "Are you sure you’ll be too busy for today?"
If not then I’ll make sure I am.
"Sorry, yeah…"
For her part Lyra looked genuinely saddened. "Oh."
Vinyl rolled her eyes, glad that she was wearing shades. She didn’t have to school her reactions as much because of them.
I’m a free loader! Haven’t you figured it out yet? I’ve got no bits and needed a place to stay while in Ponyville so I called up an old high school buddy.
Lyra continued "It’s just… we haven’t seen each other in ages and I never got to thank you for setting me up on that blind date with Bonbon. I thought this could be like a reunion or something."
I set you up on that date with Sweets because I wanted her to set me up on a date with that stallion. I honestly didn't know she was a fillyfooler. I was actually trying to prank her!
With a sad sigh Vinyl responded. "Yeah, me too Lyes... but I’ve got a job now, and it’s the first decent one I’ve had in months. I can’t mess this up. I’m really happy for you and Sweets though. It’s cool that you two are still together after all these years."
Lyra gave her a confused look "All these years? It’s only been about three since we left high school."
Really? Three years? Feels longer than that.
Vinyl shrugged "What evs. Anyway it’s been fun chatting but I got some stuff that ponies are paying me to do."
"Alright. I guess I’ll see you tonight then?" She sounded hopeful.
"Yeah, bet on it." It was true as well.
Everypony on the dance floor will see me.
"Bye."
Vinyl gave a toss of her head by way of a goodbye. It wasn’t that she disliked Lyra; on the contrary she really got along with her back when they enrolled in Manehattan Public High together. But that was ages ago. Besides, Lyra had already forgotten Vinyl’s golden rule.
The rest of the trip to town hall passed peacefully enough for the lone unicorn. Which was boring, but at least it was better than having to dodge Lyra. On the way through Ponyville, she spotted a few ponies getting set up for tonight. It really made her wonder why Penumbra would choose such a small town like Ponyville to celebrate what was basically the biggest event of the decade. Well, biggest if you didn’t count the end of the Blueblood rebellions. There were two general responses to that announcement; crushing despair and wild celebration.
As she came into view of the building, the DJ spotted a white unicorn with a purple mane standing out front of the building next to a cart loaded with… stuff. Lots of stuff. Banners, ribbons, streamers, just pretty much anything you could possibly need to decorate a building.
The unicorn herself was just plain hot. The sort of classical sexiness that Vinyl really wished she had. The DJ herself was generally thought of as a good looker. Long nights spent dancing had left her with a pretty damn hot bod; well-toned but not overly so, skinny but not really thin, it basically struck a perfect balance between athletic and curvy. The point is Vinyl was a mare confident in her own hotness. But this mare with the purple mane? Hell even someone as generally self-satisfied as Vinyl couldn't help but feel a little deflated standing next to her. Even when she ran her most critical eye over her, Vinyl couldn't find a thing about her that wasn’t eleven out of ten on the hot’o’meter.
"Excuse me dear, but are you here to help with the preparation for this evening?" the hottie asked in a voice that just screamed 'high maintenance'.
Not officially.
"Yeah totally."
"Ah. Well, you see I forgot my key, and Mayor Mare’s not around. So I was wondering if you’d be a dear and let me in Ms…?" she batted her eyelashes.
Ok those things should require some kind of weapon license. Bucking Tartarus, how do you get lashes that long? How the heck are you supposed to say no to those things?
"No probs, I’ll let you in. I’ve only got the key to the back door though, so you wait here with your stuff and I’ll unlock the front door for you when I come through."
The classier mare smiled. "Thank you very much. I need to get these decorations prepared for tonight, so I thought I’d get started before the other ponies arrive."
And I really didn’t need to know that.
"Like I said, it’s no biggie," Vinyl responded with a grin as she walked towards the edge of the building.
The town hall wasn't very large, so it wasn’t long before she made it to her destination. Stopping in front of the back door, Vinyl reached into her saddle bag and withdrew a screwdriver and a paper clip. Using her magic, she straightened the paper clip and slid it into the lock before taking the screwdriver and using it to carefully apply clockwise pressure to the lock. After half a minute’s gentle probing, she twisted the lock and unlocked the door. Returning the two devices to their place in her saddle bag, Vinyl stood up and opened the door before stepping inside.
She shut the door behind herself and quickly scanned the room with her horn for any magic sources. Oh yeah, there it was: the burglar alarm. A tiny little three by three alignment of basic frequency crystals set into a non-conductive metal plate. Beneath the plate were several conductive metal wires and one larger crystal with a basic three spell set. The first spell was an incredibly light telekinesis field on the door, that if broken would activate the second spell. The second was a timer that would count down until it hit zero, or it was interrupted by somepony tapping the password into the crystals. If the timer hit zero, then the third spell would activate and a loud warbling alarm would go off.
Stopping in front of the box, Vinyl retrieved a smaller crystal from her saddlebag and held it in front of the box. Normally this would be the first of several steps in successfully disarming an alarm box. But in this case it was the only one required because the first crystal on the top left of the panel brightened. This meant that only one of the nine crystals was magically charged, meaning that it was the only one that had anything to do with the password. Vinyl smirked to herself.
The idiots left the password as one-one-one?
With a grin, the unicorn tapped in the default setting password and gave the box one last check for anymore magical activity. None found, she stepped out into the main room of town hall. It was a pretty damn big room, that is for certain.
Vinyl whistled and listened to the sound echo around the empty space. Carefully tuned ears timed the echo. She was satisfied that as far as rooms built without music in mind go, this room wasn’t bad. Trotting over to the front door, the white unicorn unlocked it from the inside and stepped back to allow the hottie in.
"Thank you dear," the mare said as she entered the room, levitating objects from the cart inside after herself. Setting the supplies to the floor, the unicorn turned around and gave an elegant flick of her mane. "I’m Rarity, it’s a pleasure to meet you Ms…?"
"Nice to meet you, Hot Stuff." Vinyl said officially settling on a nickname and holding out her hoof for a shake.
Rarity delicately shook hooves with her. "I hope you don’t mind me asking but, who are you? And why did the mayor give you a key?"
Vinyl grinned her trademark grin as she turned around. "I’m the DJ for the party tonight. I’m here to set up the sound system."
Both true.
"Oh. Very well then. I’ll start to get set up then, shall I?"
"Yeah no probs."
Turning away, Vinyl made her way over to the main stage and jumped up onto it. Her forehooves made it over the edge of the stage, and she had to kick her rear legs a bit to get the rest of her body up. Once on stage, she followed a set of wires through a door and up some stairs, before eventually arriving at a little sound booth that overlooked the entire hall. Anyone below would have an excellent view of whoever was up here. Set up in the booth was a small terminal loaded with buttons and dials, and two flat panels for playing records. Vinyl’s turn table. Lovingly hoof built by herself, for herself.
Mayor Mare had been reluctant enough to let the DJ set it up here last night. She had utterly refused to allow Vinyl to calibrate the town hall’s sound system to it. The table was plugged in, and it would play over the building’s speakers, but that wasn’t good enough for Vinyl. She wanted it to play well for her first decent event.
Flicking the switch and bringing power up to the table, lights spread across the device’s surface. Giving the mixing table a loving stroke, the DJ took a record from out of her saddlebag and placed it in the appropriate place. She carefully lowered the needle to the record and some thick dubtrot started to play. It wasn’t too loud, and Vinyl really wanted to really crank it to eleven, (she built this table so there literally was an eleven on the dial), but she decided that, given the fact she wasn’t technically allowed to be here, it would be smarter to keep the music at a reasonable volume.
Walking out of the booth, she trotted down to town hall’s centre stage. There she found the first speaker that was blaring out music. Vinyl cringed at the crackly and unclear sounds it was making. Mayor Mare expected her to host a gig with that? With a derisive snort, Vinyl cut the power from the speaker and took a screwdriver out. After the box was opened, she raised her sunglasses and got a good look at what was inside.
"Bucking Tartarus…"
It was a mess, an absolutely disastrous mess of tangled wires, misaligned crystals and poorly cast connecting spells. It wasn’t just the sort of mess an idiot would make. Oh no, this was worse. This was the shit-storm a professional who was being lazy might put together. With a sigh, Vinyl returned her glasses over her eyes and attacked the knotted mess. By the time she was done, she’d completely gutted the speaker.
"Ahem." Rarity appeared and gave a polite cough.
"Yeah?" Vinyl responded with as she distractedly reconnected a wire.
"Have you really been given permission to rewire the entire building’s sound system?"
I was specifically told not to.
"Yeah totally," the DJ answered with.
Hot Stuff blinked. "Are you certain?"
"Yep," Vinyl said while she jiggled something inside the system.
The oh-so-prissy one sounded a little surprised. "Oh... Well, are you positive that you have to be playing this music then? It’s not very… relaxing, to work to."
This mare just loves to complain.
"I need a way to judge how clear what’s coming through is. This song has the right mix of bass, treble and all that stuff. It lets me know how each part of the sound comes across."
Also this song is bucking awesome.
"Oh… Um… Very well then." Silence reigned supreme for a second before the mare decided to try and continue the conversation. "I don’t really understand why we need a DJ anyway. My friend Fluttershy had already volunteered to provide music for this evening."
"Yeah-yeah, I got told about that." Vinyl reconnected the last of the wires and began screwing the sound system back together. "With the bird song right? Heh-heh, you’re really going for the country town theme hey? But yeah, the birds are gonna play the anthem and ceremony, but I’ll be taking care of the night up till then. I mean come on; a bird’s got a voice box like this big," she turned to Rarity and held her hooves close together before turning back to the speaker. "How in Tarturus would you expect those things to sing all night?"
Rarity blinked. "Oh. Yes, I suppose you’re right. I hadn’t thought of that."
"Yeah, the Mayor hadn’t either. She wanted the birds all night. The mare had to read the orders from the princess before she even let me set up my turn table."
Rarity seemed stunned. "The princess? As in orders from Penumbra herself?"
"Yeah. You know for royalty, she has surprisingly cool taste in music. You’d think it would all be classical or something, but no, it’s mostly pretty awesome."
"You know Penumbra?" Rarity looked giddy with excitement.
Vinyl snorted. "No," she chuckled. "Seriously, you could not pick someone further from the royal family than me."
"Well I’m sure that can’t be true. After all, you were chosen by the princess herself, and you aren’t even remotely famous. So it’s not as though your résumé had anything to do with it. You must have some connections."
Standing the speaker up and plugging it back into the power, Vinyl looked over her shoulder at Rarity. When she spoke, her tone was serious, and there was even a touch of anger in her voice. "You can’t get much more 'connected' than a mismatch born in Cloudsdale, dumped off in an orphanage at the dodgy end of Manehattan and who half their childhood friends are dead from either drug overdose or gang war."
Rarity’s face was a mixture of shock and horror. Her mouth hung open for a minute before she crafted some kind of response. "Oh my! I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to-"
"Nah, I’m totally messing with you." Vinyl turned back to the other unicorn with a grin.
The previously horrified mare went from shock to irritation quite rapidly.
The less elegant mare flicked the power switch back on, and the speaker began to blare out dubtrot once more. Except now the sound was noticeably clearer and fewer static crackles were audible. It was an improvement yeah, but it wasn't perfect. Without any real professional equipment or replacement parts, though it was the best Vinyl could do.
"You hear that static?" The grinning mare asked.
The irritated one answered. "No."
She grinned ever wider. "Exactly."
---
From the balcony outside Ponyville Town Hall, Penumbra listened carefully to the sounds of revellers dancing the night away. The dull thump of bass was coming through the walls, and it served to remind the alicorn of the old days where she might spend the night with Pinkie at one of her parties. Vinyl Scratch was just as good of a DJ as she remembered. It was nice to know some things hadn’t changed between this timeline and the old one.
Penumbra had selected DJ P0N-3 because she had clear memories of the party after Princess Cadence and Shining Armor’s wedding. That was a great memory. Twilight Sparkle the unicorn and all her friends, singing their hearts out in celebration of a union and the defeat of the changelings. It was funny how even the frantic battle for Canterlot was now a good memory in comparison to those that came shortly afterwards.
If she hadn’t been a goddess now, Penumbra would have entered inside and danced once more. But now she had to be aloof. These ponies had to see her as a force well over their heads, dealing with the issues that they simply couldn’t. She doubted that any of them would maintain that illusion if they saw her terrible dancing.
One of her tendrils felt the door behind her opening, and she set the same magical feeler to check who it was that was coming through the door. It was Spike with a lampshade on his head. With a wry smile, Penumbra marvelled at the feeling of nostalgia that came over her. This was almost like Pinkie’s surprise party on the original Longest Night.
"How’s the party?" Penumbra asked.
"It’s awesome!" Spike answered enthusiastically. "Who is that DJ? She freaking rocks! I mean, how have I never heard of her and you have? How’d you know she was gonna be so damn awesome!"
Rather than answer, Penumbra asked a question. "Can you see the moon?"
He shrugged and looked up. "Yeah, it’s full. Why, are you expecting Nightmare Moon at any moment or something?"
‘Yes actually,’ the purple mare answered curtly. "'On the longest night of the thousandth year, the star shall aid in her escape.' Or so the prophecy says."
Spike had the decency to only give a sad shake of his head. "So what? You’re saying that a bunch of stars are just gonna…" the dragon trailed off. He stood there open mouthed and staring at the moon for almost a minute. "Woah."
"Let me guess. Four stars just approached the moon, and now The Mare In The Moon is gone?"
"Yes… h-h-how did you-" suddenly the baby dragon was cut off as he belched out a mouthful of green flames. From the flames a green scroll materialised.
Penumbra picked it up with a field of telekinesis and carefully felt the pattern of small bumps dented into the top of the paper. To most ponies they wouldn’t mean anything, but for the blind they were letters and numbers. One of the first things Penumbra had learned to do when she lost her eye sight was read by touch. "Ah. I thought she’d reappear at the old ruins." Pulling the dragon closer to herself with telekinesis, she prepared a teleportation spell. As a unicorn, she never would have attempted this, but as a goddess, this was easy. It was almost effortless for her. To attempt to teleport such long distances was downright foolish for even the most talented spell caster. "First we must gather my daughters, and then we’ll meet up with the guardponies I’ve posted at the ruins."
Spike was thinking coherently now. "Yeah, but what about after that? What do we do when we see Nightmare Moon? I mean, what if she’s still evil? She could be just as, if not more powerful than you, and she might want to make it eternal night again."
Inwardly, the being that once was known as Twilight Sparkle sighed. She didn’t know. How could she? If the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony did not reveal themselves, than she might be forced to kill Nightmare. That thought saddened her greatly. Yes it would just be one more name to add to the list, but Penumbra knew for a fact that she’d always hoped it would be Luna who reappeared. Luna would be somepony else who could stand by her side for eternity, a pony who she could share her burdens with. It had been so long since she’d talked freely with anypony. But if it was Luna, than she could explain everything. They could rule together as she once had with her sister. And Twilight would not be alone forever.
It was an intoxicating idea that had been the main thing that had been keeping the deity sane over the past twenty years. The thought of having to spend eternity alone and burdened with the truth was enough to fill her soul with gut-wrenching fear. A worse thought was that the only ponies who she could share eternity with were Malus and Spectra. The guilt those two alone made her feel was enough as it was.
Penumbra’s only response was a shake of her head and the statement, "we shall see."
Mere words do not express how much potential this has
‘Why are you staring at her?’ Spike interrupted her reverie.
seems strange that spike would interrupt his own mindful wanderings.
Plus the list of tracks provided didn’t make Vinyl want to gauge her ear drums out with a screwdriver.
gouge*
A few places of tell, lots of lavender unicorn syndrome, but mountains of potential.
inb4 featured
Kill The King - Megadeth
A few grammatical errors, but nonetheless, very interesting.
Very interesting story, definitely looking forward to reading this further
1097318
Thank you, that what all of my pre-readers said.
1097560
Thank you for that.
1098029
I really tried to stamp out the grammar issues. I had three different pre-readers. I'm frustrated that I'm still suffering these grammar issues.
1099326
I'm glad to here that. Interesting isn't the same as good, but still, I'd rather interesting than bad.
1097331
Fixed.
1097386
That would be Spike interrupting Mal's reverie.
Thanks for pointing that out. I fixed it.
I know, lots of tell. Particularly in the prologue when I described Mal and Spectra's personality's, or in chapter 1 where I didn't show there fight. I'm happy to leave the fight a blank but I'm not sure how to go about fixing that in the prologue. Maybe if I were to delete their descriptions and then add a conversation as their climbing up the stairs or something.
What's lavender unicorn syndrome? Afraid I've never heard of that.
Mountains of potential. That's what everyone keeps saying.
"inb4 featured" Don't you think your being a little optimistic with that?
Thanks for the comment.
1099639
Lavender Unicorn Syndrome (often abbreviated LUS) is what occurs when the author tries to color their writing with substitutes for common pronouns.
"It sure is a nice day," the lavender unicorn said to the pink party pony.
It's a common and very easy mistake to make. There's more about it in the incredible writing resource, EZN's Guide.
Here's the link for the LUS section:
1099886
You're right, I have a case of LUS here pretty badly. How to fix...
Okay, I like this. Very interested in where this goes.
1102665
Glad to hear. As to where it goes? Hopefully somewhere awesome. I mean I know where it goes, but I'm not sure if it will be as awesome as I hope it will.
1121471
Well I can't really answer your question without spoiling much. But in regards to the magical explosion, just wait and see. Who says pony X's magical surge was anything flashy and dramatic? And are you sure it's Spitfire? In fact, why don't you try and guess who the three new elements are? (I kind of want to know how predictable I'm being)
1097318
This. In particular, that last question in the description, that is going to be crucial. I haven't read it yet, but I am going to assume that the dislikes are mostly because you retconned a large amount of canon and didn't do a magnificent job of it so as to justify said retcon. That said, this is going on my read later list, and it sounds intriguing and well planned, so it will likely be read sooner rather than later. I have high expectations for this story.
1121531
Yeah I have a plan for this.
A big plan. Sadly, no one who has disliked my story has taken the time to comment so I'm unsure as to why they disliked it. It's possible that they simply didn't like the story. In regards to retconning the canon and changing history and all, yeah I haven't justified that, but that's because it's a part of the mystery.
In terms of the premise, yeah most people who pre read this for me or have commented on it so far agree that it has potential. I personally hope to use as much of that potential as I can.
Whenever you get to reading be sure to drop a review, even if you didn't like it I'd still love to know why.
High expectations? That's a bit intimidating but I'll try not to disappoint.
Indeed....
1121559 My guess of why they disliked this srory is that they were put of by some characters OOC-ness. I really look forward to seeing how this all came to be, but some people might not like the idea of Celly burning Twi's eyes or Dash and AJ making out for no known reason at all(At least until we know why Twi did what she did).
Also, geomancy for the win!
1124198
Yeah that may be why people disliked the story. I hadn't considered that.
In regards to how all this came to be... It's complicated.
In regards to Celestia burning Twi's eyes out, that was just a dream. I still haven't explained who did that to twi and why. Future dreams will attribute the loss of eyes to varying causes but I think most will be surprised by who actually did it.
AJ and Dash making out was meant to hint at AJ and Dash being a couple before (technically after because of the messed up time line) the world changed. Plus it was just a part of the dream sequence. Sexual imagery to add another layer of weirdness. It also makes sense because it's a manifestations of Twilight's guilt over what she did to the two of them.
1124661 It's kinda obvious that the cause is still not clear after the second dream, though some people may not read any farther than the first one. Also, I like how you still have that relationship, though it's now buried under hate and all that not being the original stuff.
Lastly: Hmmm, complicated. Complicated is good. At least it is for me, since I enjoy it when events baffle me and I wasn't able to see it coming. Complicated stories tend to do that to me.
1124931
The dream sequences are actually all loaded with foreshadowing of things to come and hints at what happened. I'm hoping that eventually when all is clear people will re-read those sequences and go 'Ohhhhhhh.'
Yeah that was what I was interested in with Mal and Spectra too. It's kind of hard to write for the two of them. They need to be hostile to each other but they still need to interact fairly regularly and say more (or in Mal's case don't say anything) to each other than 'I hate you.' 'You're stupid' etc etc.
Don't know how complicated the story will be, but the backstory for the story is certainly a hard one to explain.
1125931
Thanks for the comment and the encouragement. I'll be sure to change that (Why did you have to let Orphius know he was right? That guy's a friend and you just gave him ammo. Actually, is it too late to delete your comment? ).
Though I'm not sure about 'infinite' I am aware that this idea does have a lot of potential.
1125989
But he was right, someone else did comment on that phrase, and whether or not you are friends is irrelevant. And this story does have infinite potential. You have implied time is possible in your story. With time travel, literally ANYTHING is possible. Therefore, infinite potential, by it's very definition.
1126797
I was just joking around. Of course I'm going to change it if two people had issues with it. And I am grateful to him for pointing it out.
Time travel? Wait and see.
1125931
Yep! Part of the reason I'm so hyped for this story because it's got insane potential and can go so many ways that it's not even funny. You aren't the only one eagerly awaiting to see what happens.
1125989
It's too late. Too late I saw! Mwhahahahahahahaha
you know what?
1131817
Er... what?
1133553
never mind, I won't bother you.
1133558
Ok, that was slightly random. Bother me about what? I'd love to be bothered.
This is good. Really good. Like others have stated, the potential here is astounding. It's rather difficult to capture my interest with an Alternate Universe story, but you seem to have done so readily. Like so many others, I look forward to where this is going.
One thing I will say is this: That fact that you use apostrophes in place of quotation marks is rather strange and entirely grammatically incorrect. For some reason it just bugs me.
~Signed, InfiniteBrony
1135707
Oh wow, you're the guy (possibly girl, I don't really know you) that wrote "The Guardian (K)Night". I like that story. It tickles me pink to have an author I like say my story is really good. You say that about alternate universe stories but I'd point out that's the tag you have on your own tale.
Yeah, the thing about the premise is that it's just really really intriguing. I'm not saying that to toot my own horn. When I had the first vague idea for the outline of this story I thought, 'Wow, that's really interesting, I want to see where this goes.' then I realized that it was my idea and I'd have to write it myself if I wanted to see the end of it. So here I am. Now I know where this goes, but I still want write it.
Oh and in regards to quotation marks, the way I was taught is this.
This is a speech mark or an apostrophe ' .
This is a quotation mark "
The quotation mark is to only be used when quoting something. That is to say you're repeating what is said.
Now I could be wrong about that. But as far as I'm aware either way is acceptable. Now if other people start taking Issue with the quotation marks then I'll go through and fix them in my story, but I'm ok with them as they are at the moment.
Anyway, thank you very much for commenting.
1137349
Thanks, I'm glad you think so highly of me.
I say that about AU stories mostly because they usually are just boreing and poorly executed premises, but they're an interesting idea and done well, you can even get stories like Sunshine and Fire. I won't go comparing you work to the heavy hitters of FimFic just yet, but you do nigh on un-bearable amounts of potential. And I know just what you mean. I've had a good many instences of discovering an utterly amazing story idea, only to realize that the only way I would ever see it is to write it myself. Hence my new found (semi)fame for The Guardian (K)Night.
And I've never heard someone refer to an apostrophe as a speech mark. Quotation marks are the only marks used for speech. In fact you sort of seem to have it backwards, when quoting someone else you actually use apostrophes within the quotation marks.
Example:
"Can you believe that idiot actually called out, 'Help me, help me! For the love of Celestia, someone help me!' while I tore his throat out?" Twilight whispered conspiratorially to the suddenly very nervous golden coated mare. "I mean really, you'd think a full grown dragon wouldn't be quite so pathetic, wouldn't you?" she asked, flashing her gleaming fangs in a predatory grin.
I only mention it because it irks me. I'm not going to tell you how to write, but I do feel that I should have at least made myself heard. It's technically wrong as well, and I'm sure if you were to try and submit it to EQD they would agree with me. I don't mean to be rude, I just thought I should point that out.
Oh, and as for my gender: Derpy and the others don't call me 'Dad' for nothing.
~Signed, InfiniteBrony
1137497
I wouldn't go comparing my story to Sunshine and Fire either. As it stands I doubt Penumbra will ever pick up a big following. The premise itself starts off at OOC Twilight and a few other things (particularly stuff that's happening next chapter) that would turn away most of my potential readers straight away.
Alright thanks for your concern. I've already sent this story off to EQD but I haven't gotten a response yet. If more people start to take issue with the quotation marks then I'll be sure to change it and officially give you permission to say I told you so.
1137574
I'm always happy to help.
And I don't know, advertise yourself in the right places and you never know what might happen. Maybe a shout-out on an already popular fic......
~Signed, InfiniteBrony
1137621
Yes a shout out from the author of an already popular fic would indeed be appreciated. I would find myself in a position of great gratitude. Of course though, that requires the cooperation of an already popular author who did indeed think my story was of sufficient quality to merit a shout out.
1137682
Yes, indeed. But wherever shall we find such a fine fellow?...... e.deviantart.net/emoticons/t/trollface.png
~Signed, InfiniteBrony
1137697
That's a fine question. If only I knew someone who fit that description. Oh, woe is me! I have happened upon a fine idea, but lack the means to see it completed. I have no choice but to ask you for assistance. Would you be in a position to put me in contact with such a brony? One who is author of a popular story and does indeed like my own?
1137762
Hmm, yes this is a positively precarious position. Perhaps I could just... no, that is a fool hardy thing. Mayhaps Sethisto could help? Or Cereal Velocity? Maybe even Wanderer D? I suppose I could ask TheLivingTombstone, or WoodenToaster, but.... Wait a moment! I've got it! It seems so laughably obvious in hind-sight! Who is a well known and prolific brony? Who has over 100 followers? Who's the author of a well-recied and popular Vampony Twilight fic? I shall ask........ SteampunkBrony!
And if he says no I guess I could do it myself.
~Signed, InfiniteBrony
1137853
Yes, that is clearly the most magnificent remedy to this most mortifying of matters. It's so obvious in retrospect, how was SteampunkBrony not the first answer to come to mind? This is indeed an elegant solution. Good sir, you have made me jubilant.
But in the (extremely) unlikely event that SteampunkBrony does not wish to endorse my tale then your support would be greatly appreciated.
1137895
images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw783_tumblr_lp05hsgYfy1qjmjvko1_r2_1280.png
Quite.
It is indeed quite the mystery how we did not come to this conclusion sooner. But, as they say, 'Hind-sight is 20-20' I suppose.
~Signed, InfiniteBrony
1137931
Have a fine day sir.
1137948
And a good day to you as well.
Please, have some diabetes inducing pony goodness for your troubles.
i1168.photobucket.com/albums/r492/InfiniteBrony/185125-artistsilvercyhchangelingChrysalisdeletemeduplicatefillymothers_dayportrait.png
~Signed, InfiniteBrony
1137976
Erm.... This is the only cute thing I've got on hand at the moment:
http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=§ion=&q=Why+is+she+your+friend#/d52cuve
1141932
Revealing? I'm not sure how much the intro revealed actually. Are you talking about my story summary? Or the actual introductory paragraphs of the story?
Oh and the puppy, I know right? I was pleased as punch when he posted that.
1137895 I mean, if you want, I can make a shout-out happen; I am Steampunk's editor for both Among the Ruins and Vampony Chronicles after all, and I'm sure he wouldn't mind me abusing my power a little...
1143883
Ok, I was completely joking when I said that. Buuuut if you feel this story is good enough to deserve a shout out I will not object to that. Though to be honest I'd only want the shout out if Steampunk's OK with it.
What do you think of my story so far? I ask cause you did review for Breaking Twilight and I was the editor for that (to be honest though I'm a pretty terrible editor).
1144044 The concept is interesting, and certainly has my interest, but it's too early on to give a real review. You set up the opening well, (reminds me of the prologue for My Choices: Twisted Tales Through Time) and it leaves so many questions that I want answers to; the hook is set, now you just have to follow through.
114407
Cool. I'm a little nervous about that follow through but at the least I'm confident that there's enough stuff happening next chapter.
1137976
Just letting you know that EQD rejected the story and it's probably for the reason's you highlighted. I'll go through and fix it.
1143883
You mentioned that you're the editor for steampunkbrony. Would you have any interest in pre-reading the next chapter of this?
I need a good pre-reader who can grammar good. I not grammar well.
1207704 I should probably say no; taking on more work is probably not a good idea, but... eh, what the hell, why not? PM me and we can work out details.
1209094
You're here too? Was not expecting that. Trust me though, this fic has the potential to be beyond awesome. Oh, and I'm hoping to get the first chapter of the multichapter fic out next month sometime, but I've already got the first chapter written and the second is in the works. Currently focusing on the Twi-Dash oneshot, so that's the reason for the delay