A Muffin For Muffins

by BatwingCandlewaxxe

Progress Report Week 48

Progress Report Week 48
CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP

Oh mother, I hope this isn't what I think it is.

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We found it, we found the flaw. For the last three days I've been studying so hard I haven't slept, barely eaten, and have drunk way too much of Zecora's migraine remedy, but between the three of us we found the flaw in the spell. I had Twilight and Sunset and Compound Sigil all check my work, and I checked theirs, and none of us can find any errors in it. I'm totally screwed. The neural regeneration/restructuring equation is inherently unstable and self-distorting, especially when one integrates the temporal parameters. There's simply no way to make it function in anything like a controllable manner. That explains not only why I ended up exceeding the intelligence targets by so much; but why I cannot stay intelligent. The fine structures will continue to degenerate and unless we can find a way to stabilize the generative flux, I'll probably be dead within a few moons.

Muffins is already having trouble functioning. I keep her with me all the time now, watching and cuddling her, making sure she is not suffering too badly. I get migraines almost daily now. Zecora's remedy isn't working quite as well as it used to. I guess I can expect that as my brain continues to degenerate.

I've quit going to Sugarcube Corner and the spa, and given up on my regular exercise routines. I've even quit volunteering at Lacuna Heart House. I'm devoting as much of my time as possible to research, even setting the writing aside for now. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to think clearly enough to work on the UToM, and I don't want to waste a single moment. Rosie and Twilight are spending a lot more time with me now, and their support has been a huge help. I don't think I could go on without both of them.

Muffins is in such bad shape that she can't even care for herself anymore. I do everything for her now. Fluttershy and Zecora came up with a remedy that will take away the pain and let her sleep more comfortably. When she's awake, she still likes to cuddle, and still likes to sit in my mane. She also lets Rosie cuddle her while I'm busy working. She isn't eating her regular food anymore, but still likes to nibble at my muffins. Fluttershy said that I should let her eat anything she can, better something than nothing. She seems perfectly level-headed and professional on the surface, but I can see that it's bothering her too. She's so tenderhearted, and loves animals so much, this clearly is not any easier for her than it is for me.

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I had a seizure of my own yesterday, while having lunch with Twilight and Rarity. Scared them both, particularly Rarity. Scared myself as well. Just got home from the hospital a few minutes ago. Apparently I've been having temporal lobe seizures as well, for some time, which explains my hypergraphia and some of the other strange writing episodes recently.

Rosie looked in on me, found me in bed trying to study and insisted I put it up and just rest. I argued that I didn't have time to rest; but she persisted, and we got into a bit of a fight. Not much of one, but she ran off crying after I said a few things I shouldn't have. She returned later and said she understood it was just the pain and fear talking; but I could tell she was still hurt by it. Yet another thing I've derped up, and no way to make it up to her. I hope she forgives me.