The Ice Cream Pony Awakes

by in10secondsflat

Chapter 7

They all spun around.

"Join the glue side, Lyra..." He stepped out into the craft store, or whatever it was, through a hole in the wall that they somehow never noticed before.

"Quit speakin' in bold. It's gettin' on mah nerves. And this here is coming from a pony who used to speak straight through plot all the time. AND GET HER NAME RIGHT!"

"Fine, fine, fair enough I guess... but I wanted to be all cool and such..."

"I know cool. And you weren't." Said the not Rainbow Dash.

"Whatever whatever whatever..." He paused, trying to think of a way to say this that wouldn't start any trivial arguments with these ponies. He was evil after all. He didn't have the time... There wasn't one.

"Lyra... I am your father."

*COLLECTIVE GASP*

"NAME! Why do you keep calling me that?"

"Wait one second here... mister hooves ever you are."

"Hooves ever you are? Very clever..." Bon Bon started.

"Look, I didn't make it up ok? Anyways, who the hay are you and why do you matter to our quest to... get out of this shopping mall? Similely ah guess, because ah have no idea what exactly this place is exactly..." She paused for a second as if she was going to say more, but never did. The others shifted their weight on their hooves.

"I am Krastos."

*COLLECTIVE GASP*

"The bold still wasn't worth it."

"I know," he sighed, hanging his head. He looked up again. Strum Awesomeposture glared at him.

She sighed. "Well, there's a parasprite for you." She glanced away lazily, rolled her eyes, and looked back at him. "Can we just get this over with?"

"You know, girls," They all whipped around as fast as they could. Pinkie Pie was walking towards them.

*COLLECTIVE-

Bon Bon stopped the author. "Please, enough of that. I think you've already had your fun."

"ANYWAYS, sillies, back to me. The author wants the reader to now pay attention to Pinkie Pie right now so whatever it is is taking a logical route and talking through me to get the message across."

She almost stopped to sit down beside Krastos, but didn't. She hesitated. She kept going.

"But-

"-bold..."

"-right. Anyways. What? I don't understand... how..."

"Well, these ponies are cool too you know. I like them. I'll stick with them."

"Right!" Derpy started talking. "Pinkie may not be Rainbow Dash, but she's still very loyal to her friends, and-"

"Wait, what? Derpy, and all of you, was I actually doing that great of a job fooling you into thinking I was your actual friend? Wow, I feel nice knowing that I can pull that off. I feel great actually! But, now I'm your friend. Because I'm totally badflank and can get you to all be my friends after I deceived you for this long and was actually Krastos's best bud."

"But... movie night..." Krastos whimpered. "Never fear! Wait, fear! Because I will destroy you somehow in a way that the author is either too uncreative or a parasprite to tell you all!"

Derpy muttered under her breathe. "Second one I bet..."

"What was that?"

"Nothing..." She reassured Krastos, who by the way the author will finally tell you is pitch black with a pitch black mane with a badflank cape.

"STOP STEALING MY SPOTLIGHT YOU PONIES!" The not Rainbow Dash ripped off her disguise-

Strum Awesomeposture interjected. "Knew it." She said lazily.

Quit interrupting! Anyways-

"STOP THAT APPLEJACK! It's getting on my nerves." Bon Bon shouted at Applejack. "What? don't look at me! It wasn't me this time around! Honest!"

"Okie Dokie LOKIE..." a suspicious Pinkie said. She was now their real friend, so she could be even more insecure around them now.

Strum stopped them. "Look, I don't know who the hay that was, but I'm going to use my more than two chapter memory and tell you that if we drove off a cliff to end this madness, I don't think we're going to want to keep doing this for too much longer. Let's just get this over wi-"

"-Okie dokie LOKIE..."

"Wait, we drove off a cliff?"

Enough of this already! Let me finish here. I was just going to tell all of you the rest of that sentence, but I'm just going to start it over. Here we go. I'll even put it in another paragraph for you.

The not Rainbow Dash ripped of her disguise and was suddenly Rainbow Dash!

*COLLECTIVE GASP* And this time it wasn't in bold, it was underlined, so no complaints.

"Time for a SONIC RAINBOOM!" She began flying as fast as she could towards the ceiling, which then disappeared, because it was actually a fake ceiling and was just a hallucination brought upon by the glue they put in these stickers-

"I knew there was something weird about this craft store... It just couldn't be normal being in this lair..." Applejack mumbled.

"Hay!"

(and by the way I think I've figured out a technique that might work for these ponies, I just COMPLETELY IGNORE them and they eventually stop it and don't try to start conversations with me)

"Hay!" This time it came from Bon Bon.

(I think it's working! Anyways.) and whizzed off into the sky, almost straight up. She needed to get high enough(even if you would think that she already was, considering that she almost constantly sees brightly colored equines) so that she could make a successful attempt.

Once she reached a decent altitude, she suddenly sped down as fast as she could. Oh and the sun was setting. She flapped as hard as she could, eventually speeding down, straight towards the bottom of the canyon-

-until she suddenly extended her wings all the way out and flew back out towards the other wall of the canyon, almost looking as if she bounced off of the canon floor.

Rainbow Dash then flew back to the room that her friends were in-

"I see that you're still alive and well then! We all thought that you were cut up into tiny pieces!"

and caught the attention of Krastos, who then sprouted temporary wings, even though he didn't know that they were temporary. He flew out of the room, following her, knowing that at the end of the rainbow there would be a pot of gold.

He raced after her, his wings evaporated, and he fell. To his death.

She then raced towards the one pony she needed to see. Applejack.

She swooped her up in her arms and they flew off romantically into the sunset.

===

Back at Krastos's lair there was still some conversation going on in the wait for some kind of PIA vehicle to come and pick the leftover ponies up. At least they still had some of the eggs that they needed.

"Well he's almost always trolling the internet at this time. What else would an alligator be doing around now?" Pinkie Pie asked Twilight.

"Well... Pinkie... I've heard some things through my letters with Celestia..."

"...Yes?"

"Well... your pet alligator Gummy is actually in a serious relationship with Princess Celestia. Celestia's been telling me about this lately... he thought he would have some free time where you weren't there so he could be with her for longer... they aren't very open yet..."

"WHAT?! How come he didn't tell me?" She asked, or more shouted, nervously.

"He was worried. And, he doesn't have the best communication methods. He's an alligator."

"But he can still talk to me about things like that!" She saw the look on Twilight's face. "So to speak," she added. "But anyways, I guess I should get over it, at least they're enjoying themselves..."

===

Gummy blinked seductively.

He had just walked into Celestia's room. "So how are ya doing my little alligator?" His scales were just so... shiny. Along with those eyes. Those perfect robotic eyes, such a beautiful mixture of purple's could just let you stare into them forever...

She was lying back on her red velvet cushion in her room, by the fire. She invited Gums to come closer with one of her hooves.

He waddled closer. Celestia admired the way he moved across the room towards her. "I bought some nice balloons for you, and popcorn for me. I got eight inch diameter latex ones, your favorite! Come here Gums..." He waddled as fast as he could and lept into her legs. They cuddled together, warm by the fire. Gummy blinked in joy.

"Come on... try some of these balloons..." He sighed. There was no changing her mind. He waddled across the cushion to where the bowl of balloons was sitting. He grabbed one in his mouth and...

*pop*

He waddle ran up to Celestia and began to speak out in a deep, booming voice. "You know," he began, "They say that an alligator's teeth begin to grow in when they find their soul mate."

"OH GUMS! Come here!"

Gummy leaped up towards Celestia and embraced her in a hug.

'Best. Night. Ever.' He thought.

===

"Ahehe. Ah'm good at this fanfic writin' aren't Ah. Ah think ah'm getting better at it too." Applejack spun around in her chair. Twilight was just leaving after picking up some books that she forgot at the Apple family's house earlier. "Ah know that you started writing more of this story Twilight! But, really, even though it was a little odd... Ah liked it a lot! Ah decided to keep it!"

"Really? That's great!" She chuckled to herself under her breathe. She was just trolling earlier, although she guessed it might make the story a little more interesting...

===

"YES! Twixie Twixie Twixie. So fun to say. I'm just so glad I could work it in." The Great and Powerful Blogger was crouched over the keyboard at his computer. Cereal was standing behind him, watching him in amusement. "I had to cut back a tiny
bit, but I did it didn't I..."

"You've finally cracked haven't you. And Appledash is more fun to say anyways."

And that was the last of Cereal Velocity. Expect to hear from him no more.

Comments

[CarlG]

Dean. Really. Just.. No no no. You lost jake, probably josh and me.

[in10secondsflat]

1261

It wasn't me who wrote it, it was all Twilight!