The Mane Six is the perfect example of an unbreakable friendship. They represent the Elements of Harmony for Celestia sake, but when Silver Sceptere, the colt of everyponies dreams, moves to Ponyville, the group falls apart. He's smart, athletic, hard working, fashionable, cares about animals, is one hell of a party animal, and knows one of the darkest secrets in equestrian history. Will their friendship survive or will it all go to hell.
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Dis is too short
Is this romance?
Nah, JK I read the tags
Ok, firstly, you spelled 'prologue' wrong. Fix that.
Second off, just from your description, it sounds like you made a HUGE Gary Stu. That is, he's perfect without flaw, and this a cliche I avoid like the plague itself. Fix up your character, make him have flaws. No one's perfect. EVER.
images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110628233344/icarly/images/2/29/THIS.gif
Sorry but this story is too short and fast.
This is bad, but don't stop writing it. You may think you're wasting your time, but you'll get better. Probably.
I look forward to where this goes though.
For the love of god, what is it with this site and not using question marks? QUESTION MARKS GO AT THE END OF QUESTIONS PEOPLE.
I can't believe how many of you are so quick to judge a story
Its only the first two chapters ponies, itl get better I promise.
822034
>"it'll get better"
>self-insert gary stu romance fic
yeah sure
Meh hope it gets better has potential.
822034
I'm going to be 100% honest with you: I normally would NEVER read a story with a fan character as a main character. However, this story seems extremely interesting and I am anxious to see where it goes! If the next few chapters are as good as what I have read so far, I would like to do a reading of this story on my youtube channel! Can't wait to read more!
821610 Well let's see where this goes.
So far this guy has attracted the attention of Fluttershy, Twilight, and Rarity, who wants to bet that Rainbow Dash or Applejack will be next?
821639
822388:
*places 20 bits on the table*
I'm game.
824474 O.k. then.
825024:
Awesome then.
I love this
I'm so touched by this clopfic 
(For Some Weird Reason) Well, KEEP GOING 
Wow. Gary stu. Check.
Self insert. Check.
This guy going to have the entirety of the mane six under his overpowered hooves? Tentative. Check.
This isn't going to be good, the way this story is careening.
img.ponibooru.org/_images/f5f16d6deb46147557238c0d196f8159/106949%20-%20get_out%20gtfo%20rarity%20reaction_image%20reading.jpg
825135
825135 not clopfic sorry
who is gary stu, damn did someone take my idea before i came up with it?
861640Dont listen to them
this is great!! CONTINUE VERY SOON!!
Okay ....... your story has potential and I'm rooting for you
but through the first two chapters I wanted to strangle something
. Your grammar and sentence structure needs work, on top of that the story seems rushed you need to slow down and have meaningful conversations with the mane six. On that note you make them sound shallow, no girl falls that hard in love. Sure they may think he looks good or he's okay, but come on really "he's perfect" they only said a max of ten words to each other or overheard somebody's conversation they need to have actual conversations to get to know him, then your readers can also get to know him, and then the girls could realise he's "perfect". Also "description" don't just say city clothes state what you want, and if you don't know then say that and have rarity help him, you could have used that as a meaningful conversation with rarity. All in all its a good story you just need to work on it, and I'm sorry if i sound like a jerk, its just I have a evil little grammar nazi inside me and he's the one that gets angry. Good luck.
829947AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH its funny sorry the comic was funny
Chapter 3 is out
hope u like it. FYI: the deep dialouge happens as the main six start to approach him. 
Next Chapter, It will start to get in depth with the mane 6
, 5th chapter they will try to lure him in, 6th chapter... well you'll just have to wait and see.
P.S. Remember the last summer part, it will appear again
This is so bad it made me kill a puppy out of pure anger.
... has potential, just lengthen the story line k
can't wait to see where this goes! Keep it up, mate!
I can't wait to see the fireworks when the mane six all try to ask him out on a date at once, all I'll have to say then is Round 1 Fight!
Meh short chapters needs more thicker plot
MOAR!!
Alright, this is my first fic so be kind alright. my email has been pileing up with hate mail and every othe message theres a good comment. so if u dont have anything good to say dont leave any comments. Please. u dont wanna make fluttershy cry do u
Check it my fellow ponies. Chapter 4 will come out by the end of the week. either thursday july 7th or friday july 8th
Dear celestia! I cant even figure out the calender!
its thursday the 12th or friday the 13th. oh lordy friday the 13th 
sorry I havent gotten this out for awhile but here it is
chapter 4! more dialouge, and more in depth. 
enjoy
(Ahem) MOAR!!!dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Derpy_Hooves.png Sorry. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Derpy_Hooves.png
953875 thank you, I think ponies will start to apreciate the story more now that the story sequence is more visible
I can sense incoming drama chaos
...
PS: Next chapter he calms his emotions and decides to meet the "Anonymous Ponies"
It will be a bit funny cause they will be a little obvious with their feelings and Silver will notice it. ALOT. 
He will tell the girls he's not intrested but wants to be friends 
, but they will only think hes playing hard to get. 
From one writer to others, I think the only reason my story got better is because i started writing outside. in my favorite tree. someplace were you can think without having any difficulties, can be rewarding if you let the creative juices flow.
just about as creative as derpy here.
So now this stallion has a tragic backstory to him.
Also it may be a bit premature but Round 1 FIGHT!!!!!! (The six exclamation points represent the mane six)
955259 Tragic backstory will cause for alot of action, the secret will come out to the ponies but it would be too tragic in the world of peace, harmony and friendship. so they wont believe it
957855 Of course they won't believe it because if they did then the title of this fic wouldn't be (drum roll) "Blinded by Love" *Bu dum tish*.
This screams Gary Stu from the description alone