The Beginning

The clopping of hooves was a constant sound aboard the ship. Eight hooves to be precise, though, four of those were more active than the others. The pilot was accustomed to the confined space inside his ship, but his daughter was less so.

Normally she would not be on a fighter ship, Andalites did not normally trust other races and females were rarely allowed in the military. But Luna was a special case, raised by one their heroes, she was allowed to try her hoof at being a soldier. Between her offensive capabilities and those Princes and War Princes who had fought beside Elfangor, Luna was able to rise against the normally prejudiced society and become a warrior. This was only her first time in a fighter ship.

Prince Elfangor-Sirinial-Shamtul was an experienced hero of his people. He understood that a young cadet would feel very frustrated at being locked in a fighter shuttle for long periods of time, and he understood that she was even more claustrophobic than the average andalite. After all, she was a creature of the sky as much as of the fields, and she wanted desperately to spread her wings.

But the constant clop of her hooves on the floor was annoying. <Luna, perhaps you should take a nap.>

<I'm not sleepy.> she thought spoke back to him.

<Well, can you sit still?>

<No.>

Elfangor was about ready to give her an order to sit still, but that's when they came under attack. Yeerk bug fighters flanked their ship and opened fire, they took a few hits before Elfangor pulled up out of the path of the lazers. The dog fight continued for several minutes until the more experienced warrior maneuvered his ship to line both Yeerk ships up with his weapon.

<Are we damaged?> Luna asked as she came up next to him.

<Um...I think they shall fix that.> her eyes widened as she saw it.

Coming in range was an armada of yeerk ships. They swarmed like angry insects from their base, the pool ship. And amongst the swarm was the blade ship, a vessel given to only the highest ranking yeerks, the Vissers.

The yeerks were opposed by an equally destructive force, an andalite dome ship and its fleet of fighters piloted by their best warriors.

“Hey, are you ok?”

The speaker shook her shoulder, and Luna's horn was at the person's throat in a moment. <Where are we?>

“My name is Jake….” the biped spoke slowly and carefully “...your father is outside, he's hurt but he wanted us to help you.”

Luna was out of the ship and on the ground next to her father before the other bipeds knew what was happening.

“That's a unicorn, with wings….are we crazy?”

“Shut up, Marco.” a somewhat aggressive voice told the other one.

Elfangor was badly burned on one side of his body, his breathing was rough, and there was blood on him. Blood that was still fresh. Luna felt a wave of dizziness come over her, when it passed she held a hoof to her head and felt the dampness of her own blood.

<Luna, this is where we part ways….> Elfangor held a seven fingered hand to her head.

<No!> she denied it as he pulled her into what would be their last hug.

<Father…>

Jake walked back out of the ship with something in his hand. “Is this what you asked me to find?”

<Yes.> Elfangor struggled to raise himself up, but he did not have the strength. <Bring it to me, and all of you gather around it.>

<Father, no!> Luna protested him with an alarmed expression. <You will be dishonored!>

<It is the only thing I can give them that will help them fight the yeerks.> Elfangor explained as he looked at her with all four of his eyes. <I will not leave them defenseless.>

Luna knew better than to argue, her father put more value in doing what is right than in what others thought of him. After all, he had taken her in despite the disapproval of the other andalites. She said nothing more as he explained to the humans what threat they now faced, and the limitations of the power they now had.

<We must go, now> Luna warned them as she saw the lights of two bug fighters in the sky, and she knew what would follow them.

<Go now, run!> Elfangor urged them <I will give you what time I can>

The five humans followed her as she ran to hide. Luna stopped and turned back to watch, she wanted to go back….and if he didn't show, she would. But Luna's hopes were dashed when the blade ship, looking like a god's giant battle ax, landed in the construction site. She turned away.

<Come, we must go!> she told the humans in private thought speak.

“We aren't going to help him?” the tall angry looking human asked.

<We cannot save your world if we are dead> Luna replied bluntly. <If we stay, we die>

As if to emphasize her point, an explosion lit up the night as one of the ships were destroyed. They followed her as she ran.

Later that night, Luna stood in the barn that the dark skinned human, Cassie, had offered her to rest in. Cassie had also offered to tend to her wounds, but Luna had declined in favor of using a demonstration of the morphing power to heal herself. After acquiring the DNA of a flying creature called an owl, she had morphed into the animal and returned to her own form to reveal her now nonexistent wounds.

Now alone in the barn, hidden away so Cassie’s parents would not find her, Luna found rest impossible. Her father was gone, she was stranded on a primitive world, and she was now responsible for the safety of an entire planet with only five inexperienced youths to fight the Yeerks with.

“Some warrior I am turning out to be.” Luna said to herself as she folded her wings against her blue fur and crossed her hooves under her chin as a pillow. Sleep finally came to her a little before dawn.

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Comments ( 22 )

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MrAquino

MrAquino #1 · Oct 5th, 2016 · 3 · ·

Animorphs? Awe man... Childhood right there!

badninja

badninja #2 · Oct 5th, 2016 · · ·

Interesting start. I wonder how she will react when she finds out about Tobias being her brother? Also will you be explaining why Lina can use thought speak instead of using her normal voice? Onwards to the next chapter!

Cookie_Girl

Cookie_Girl #3 · Oct 5th, 2016 · 1 · ·

7619835 thought speak is actually a side effect of the morphing power. All of the Animorphs can use it in human form, this was confirmed in one of the early books but they dropped it and explained them not using by having them say it was wierd. Luna has grown up with it and is accustomed to it, so she finds it perfectly normal.

Tatsurou

Tatsurou #4 · Oct 5th, 2016 · · ·

I must say this is quite entertaining.

Am I assuming correctly that Luna has that bio-tech translator chip in her head that all members of the Andalite space forces have that allow them to understand spoken languages? (Revealed and explained in book one of The Andalite Chronicles.)

Manly Man

Manly Man #5 · Oct 5th, 2016 · 1 · ·

Okay, okay, wow. I'd have never thought a crossover like this could happen, but it is, and oh lawd am I tickled. It's an interesting and potentially great idea, and I can't wait to see how beings like the Ellimist or Crayak are going to react to a creature like Luna.

So, apart from a few nit-picky spelling and grammatical errors, if there's one complaint I have, it's that you seem to rush through the narrative rather fast. While not dragging on for so long that the reader soon gets bored- something of which I myself am guilty- is definitely a good thing, moderating your pacing is something you should work on. The Animorphs series was quite descriptive, and while you've managed to make it dialogue-heavy (as were the books, which really helped with characterization), what of the story isn't dialogue goes by way too fast. Write more about what happens when they aren't speaking, like where they are, who is around them, or what they see/hear/feel/smell/taste, e.g. "Jake heard the loud, repetitive CLACKCLACKCLACKCLACK of the Taxxon's legs on metal flooring before he saw it peek its red, gelatinous eyes around the corner. He could tell it had just eaten; greenish blood dripped from its maw, the stink of it so strong he could even taste it in the air." Not only does it help the reading pace, it also gives a much better idea of what's going on, and makes visualization both easier and more vivid.

Know this, I'm not saying your work is bad, I'm just trying to help you improve. Just because you're good doesn't mean you can't get better, hm?

A point of curiosity is whether or not you're going to write it in first person, as essentially the entire series was. Being that this is a "Chronicles" story, maybe it could, beyond this first chapter, switch between which character's point of view it is for each chapter?

Zuabug

Zuabug #6 · Oct 5th, 2016 · 1 · ·

*Screeches and flails.* Another epic crossover? I'm planning on doing the same thing, but with an even larger series.

I went through and found some errors, I can message them to you if you'd like?

Edit: Also, I was thinking it was Trixi instead of Luna because I didn't pay enough attention to the cover art x') This is gonna be great :D

Cookie_Girl

Cookie_Girl #7 · Oct 5th, 2016 · 1 · ·

7620123 I had actually forgotten about that.

7620137 thanks. I'm always looking to improve, but I've been out of sorts for writing lately. I've never wrote in first person before, so I'm going with limited third person that follows Luna. I will eventually try out some Luna pov when she tells them about her childhood.

Thanks again for the tips. Moving the story too fast has always been my biggest problem, I'll try to slow it down in the future.

Cookie_Girl

Cookie_Girl #8 · Oct 5th, 2016 · · ·

7620179 you can post it here.

Zuabug

Zuabug #9 · Oct 5th, 2016 · · ·

7620196
So I'm not nearly the greatest at grammar, but these are what stood out to me.

". . . opened fire, they took. . ."
^ ". . . opened fire and they took. . ." though I'm not 100% positive on this one.

Blood that was still fresh.
^ this paragraph I think should be split into three? It makes it feel more disjointed with her thoughts and a little more into disbelief that this could have happened to her father.

Elfangor held a seven fingered hand to her head.
^ Maybe flip those two lines? Something like "Luna looked up sharply as she felt Elfangor hold a seven-fingered hand to her head"? Or "held [it] in a seven-fingered hand"? It just seems a bit odd to me, but I tend to be a bit flowery myself =\

< . . . time I can>
^ Punctuation at the end? Hyphen for it being abruptly cut off or interrupted or a period to end the statement.

Luna replied bluntly.
^ Search phrase. Her speech should have a comma and a period, respectively, to go with the thoughtspeech.

Cookie_Girl

Cookie_Girl #10 · Oct 5th, 2016 · · ·

7620292 I'll see what I can do. Thanks.

Kenshinryuu

Kenshinryuu #11 · Oct 6th, 2016 · 1 · ·

One of my favorite child hood series getting the PWNY treatment??? Sweet. Poor Luna, loosing her dad sucks. Of course, when she finds her uncle Ax later I can see her doing a flying tackle glomp on him.

Hmmm, will Luna get a human morph??? And will she overreact to taste??? At the very least she should have a favorite food.

Midnight_Eclipse

Midnight_Eclipse #12 · Oct 6th, 2016 · · ·

Oh wow. A crossover between MLP and Animorphs?! This is most DEFIANTLY a first! I'll have to read this later, when I have the time. Hope it's as good as that series was. ^^

Cookie_Girl

Cookie_Girl #13 · Oct 6th, 2016 · · ·

7622659 actually, this is NOT a first.

Here's a fun surprise for you~ Go to my groups list on my page, and click the blue cube.

Midnight_Eclipse

Midnight_Eclipse #14 · Oct 6th, 2016 · · ·

7622664 Oh, I mean a first for me. I've been on this site for a few years and never ONCE seen such a crossover. I actually can't wait to read it. I grew up on Animorphs and now, I find a story that combines two of my favorite series together.

Cookie_Girl

Cookie_Girl #15 · Oct 6th, 2016 · · ·

7622676 I'm trying to be fun when I tell you to click the blue cube. It's an Animorphs fan group.

Midnight_Eclipse

Midnight_Eclipse #16 · Oct 6th, 2016 · 1 · ·

7622697 Whoa whoa whoa A FAN GROUP!!?

Cookie_Girl

Cookie_Girl #17 · Oct 6th, 2016 · 1 · ·

7622701 yes. You can find a link in the blog I just posted OR....look in my groups list and touch the cube. It's a bit more fun if you touch the cube.

DizzyWaddleDoo