Fleur De Liss alway dreamed of being a loving mother but after she found she could not have foal her world ended. That is until she found out how to get foals another way.
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7611151 I do not know if I got to thank you for your advice but thank you.
I will try to use it to make my story better.
Okay, sorry for taking so much time to comment on this great story, i was busy with reading other stuff. after rereading this I have looked over and it improvement are much better now, there are till a few confusions on what is happening. Like is Button losing his "organ" or is it the Orange of his mane? I am curious to know why his coat would become darker instead becoming off white like Fancy and Fleur. One of the problems that I see in your writing is that you have a tendency to shy aways with it comes to name some of the OC ponies and avoid doing any exposition on them, like explaining their relation with Fleur and Fancy; it would really help the quality of your story and to expand the world buiding. I wander when his horn will poke out. I wander if Fleur just suppress his memories or completely wiped them out of his mind. I still wander why Fleur decided to make him wear diapers despite his age, and why reteach him the alphabet. As for your question for the next chapter, I would love to see what Fancy Pants is doing in the meanwhile.
7694176
I'll explain that one soon.
you Mean Haypenny, Measured Lace, Boom Crane and so one?
You want them to all to turn in to unicorns?
Regressing mentally and rewriting memory their memory. BUT I am not sure where to explain it.
7696520 for the characters I was talking like some of the servants foals that there was a load of back story to them exempt for their names and that of there parents, it would have been nice to know that at least even if we never see them again in the story. it would also help to understand those two's motivation to serve their employers even in something that is obviously illegal, and know a few things about them would help.
I was assuming that they both wanted all unicorns, racial supremacy and all that, plus it fun to imagine all of them changing tribes.
It is not clear at all if she is ereacing their memories or not. I don't really mind but I would have imagine that she didn't consider that their memories would come back and some of them might start to remember things about their pass which would be fun to see hoe the both of them would try and make them thing that those memories are fake or they try a more intense prosess to make them forget. either way I don't mind.
ccan't wait to se the next one
7696591 I thought I talked about the potions, in an earlier chapter?
7699103 which detail do you mean?
7699136 Why buttons looks different and that each formula changes a spastic part of a pony to mach the parent.
If I didn't make that clear now I have to go back again to fix that.
But you think I have to make it more clear on the alteration of the memories and you think I should try to use the servants to try and explain Fancy and Fleur more?
7701526
The part where Fleur is pondering about how the foal is a bit hazy an confusing about her though speech , as I feel that she is trying to remind herself more about how to mix the formula rather then actually choosing which characteristics she will be giving to the foal as she doesn't sound like she is seriously thinking about it in anyway, from start to finish. For what little that I can infer from it she is going to keep Button into a colt give him the coat color, from the may she talks about future model, and make him into a unicon, but the mane and eye color was not mention as well as I didn't understand what she meant by " maybe a foal from another trib". also "So many choices" part seem to state that she is just casually thinking about, nos decision is really taken. And the fact that she just up and leave to get a foal doesn't help either.
Also, is is not stated that the hoof trim can change the gender of the foal either, not just the physic of the parent and which sort of confuses the previous statement about it as it wasn't mentioned precisely from the book or the Alchemist.
come to think of it is wasn't clear at all, that Fleur actually erased it or not his mind or just hidden it. I would help to be clear on that and as well as proving a reason why he hast to wear a diaper at least. Fro what I can tell from the 2th chapter it's more for her fun at least.
Sorry these are the confusion ed that I see for that part of the story.
7701639 OK, so that means I guess I have to back track and make more changes, to make it more clear,
Thanks for all your in put for the story.
By the way at least I got some thing right I wanted a hint of her having fun with it.
7715153 Thank you for your in put is there any suggestions you could provide to help me fix it?
i can't beaver she got away with kidnapped!
any news on the next chapter?
7733305 Sorry for not responding, Button Mash was a convenient grab and I know that a lot of people would love to see him.
Plus, I saw a clip form a YouTube.
7939789 Still working on it but I have a lot of family stuff I have to deal with first.
7940650 the worst thing is thing steal kid from loving mother. not if mother abuse the kids.
7940650 button mother will find her son. at all cost and older bother as will find him.
7940663 That's what I'm hoping for.
7940670 u are the writer so it up to u no matter what.
7940673 Sorry, I was trying to make a joke.