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  • E Late Fees

    Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Equestria, is still, above all else, a dedicated librarian and bibliophile. Books must be cared for. Books must be returned on time. Books must be respected.
    1,854 words · 5,838 views  ·  918  ·  11
  • T Rarity Loses Her Innocence In a Poker Game

    A game of drunken poker between friends, a good hand, a desperate wager. The perfect storm.
    7,570 words · 9,517 views  ·  1,272  ·  25
  • T The Demesne of the Reluctant Twilight Sparkle

    When Luna gifts Twilight the town of Ponyville and its surrounding countryside as her demesne she's initially confused. Then, after double checking her dictionary, more than a little concerned.
    70,073 words · 12,780 views  ·  1,922  ·  46
  • E Cupcakes, Chaos and Crushes

    A short story about Twilight Sparkle trying to write something very important. Alone. Quietly. Pinkie decides that's boring and wants to help. Hilarity and awkward misunderstandings ensue as an unstoppable force meets an immovable object.
    6,797 words · 4,363 views  ·  490  ·  11
  • E The Bounty

    Luna places a prank bounty on her sister's head. Who will be the pony to claim it?
    5,804 words · 2,353 views  ·  341  ·  8
  • T Sonnets by Twilight

    Twilight has made friends since arriving in Ponyville, but still feels somewhat... lonely. Octavia finds herself isolated in high society, and her passion has left her, leaving her... empty. Can these two find what they need in each other?
    52,707 words · 5,585 views  ·  689  ·  23
  • E The Sweet Meet and Greet

    Pinkie Pie's First Day In Ponyville. Curious, Yet?
    12,233 words · 1,715 views  ·  177  ·  6
  • T The Closet of Unrequited Love (Extended)

    Rarity yearns for a love that can never be. It's quite silly, really.
    2,543 words · 3,349 views  ·  204  ·  14

Blog Posts61

  • Thursday
    Thanksgiving's thanks givings.

    Now, I'm Australian, so instead of turkey, do you mind if I make some kangaroo burgers?

    No? Excellent. Whilst I grill those up, I better give thanks, in no particular order of importance. Honestly, I just wish I could put everyone here first, but I can't, because that would just get incredibly confusing.

    Actually, when has that ever stopped me before?

    Firstly, first I'd like to thank you, the followers, for following. Don't deny that you do, it's right there in the name. It's appreciated.

    Then, first I'd like to thank Joyous Apple for the new profile picture. You can find her Deviantart here.

    Next, first I'd like to thank GhostOfHeraclitus, Aragon, Lapis-Lazuli, ChuckFinley and Cammerhammer for being such particularly goody-goody friend people. Well, good friends. Aragon isn't goody-goody in the slightest. And I have my doubts about Chuck.

    Finally, first I'd like to thank my pre-readers. Blue, MaskedFerret and Southpaw.

    Though what are words without actions to back them up?

    Except, well, the actions are just more words... I suppose I didn't think that statement through at all, did I? No? Hrrm.

    More horsewords from me soon, regardless. In the form of an action of posting them to the site. Yes. Yes that should work.

    Muttering and scurrying off.

    9 comments · 62 views
  • 3w, 6d
    Blame Yourself: Luna's Reply

    So yeah, remember this?

    Of course you do. That's why you're here, isn't it?

    Well, as promised: A villanelle from a former villain, as a thank you for those who cared enough to ask for it.

    Luna by Lampshine

    To the revered noble most commendably brave Twilight Sparkle

    You must be wondering what my stance is

    And on your withers a burdensome weight

    Following such bold and brave advances

    Though I am not one for risks and chances

    I admire the courage to ask we 'date'

    You must be wondering what my stance is

    Do you wish of us, perchance, slow dances?

    If it were so simple that would be 'great'

    Following such bold and brave advances

    To 'no' let there be no backwards glances

    We could start afresh, grant thee a clean slate

    You must be wondering what my stance is

    Should 'yes' love struck gazes lead to trances

    Let onlookers decree 'Ah! Such is fate!'

    Following such bold and brave advances

    Forgive me my coyness on our romance

    I cannot decide, your answer must wait - No, that would be cruel. Unfair.

    But I do have a lot on my 'plate' - No less cruel. Do not be insufferable, Luna.

    My indecision has left me a state - Utterly true, but this is your last line to make a decision, you clay-brained guts, you knotty-pated fool. Why has this simple exceptional mare's advances left you so flummoxed? There is truth in your prior words. Read again and find the answer you have been trying to steer yourself towards. Why must you be so reluctant?

    Twilight, would you chance at being my mate?

    I am left wondering what your stance is

    Following such bold and brave advances


    TO THE MOST STUDIOUS TWILIGHT SPARKLE - URGENT

    I appear to have sent the first draft. Please, Twilight Sparkle, might you see it in your heart to send it back without reading its contents, so that I might improve upon it further? It is not ready for thine eyes.


    To Dearest Princess Luna

    Yes.



    To the most astute and erudite Twilight Sparkle,

    I am afraid I do not understand, Twilight Sparkle. There appears to be some level of confusion packed into so small and singular a word. You have stated 'yes', yet not sent back the offending draft with it.


    To My Dearest Moon

    You misunderstand me, Moon. The yes was not addressed toward your second scroll, but rather to the question posed at the end of the first. Yes.

    P.S - I found no offense in the draft.


    To dea Addressed to the most r To the mare of For the mare I most tentatively hazard worthy of courting

    You must think me a soft-skulled fool, then, to have sent such ill-thought prose. Yet you would still deem me worthy of thine affections?

    Oh. Forgive me this moment of absence. I believe I must turn to my sister for council. She is more versed in how to proceed from here than I, I believe. For in truth I am flummoxed. Be careful not to repeat your previous error and send this before corrections have been ma



    Yes, I cheated a little at villanelle structure. Okay, a lot. Particularly for the second last line. But, really, isn't the whole point of knowing the rules understanding when it's best to break them?

    I would like this to stand, in advance, as an elaborate apology to GhostOfHeraclitus, because I'm afraid for him I have tragic news.

    I'm writing a tragedy. I meant the 'tragic news' thing in its most literal sense.

    The NotSafeForGhostTag is probably going to have to be pilfered from Bad Horse upon its completion. I just happen to know he's a sucker for elaborate poetry. Hopefully this'll make it up to him.

    Or, in other, more flowery words:

    Sadfics, when read

    Make you feel blue

    But I wrote you a poem

    Ghost, this one's for you.

    20 comments · 253 views
  • 4w, 3d
    A new Demesne Side Story!

    The Quiet Equestrian, by the exceedingly capable Chuck Finley

    It takes a curious kind of mind to find a story that says Equestria is about to be plunged into a horrible series of minor civil wars and thinks "You know what would make this situation all better? If I could elaborate on the brutality."

    Chuck is one such mind, and I can't thank him enough for it. This story is a fantastic piece of almost-canon alternate-universe speculation, and it gets my endorsement 100%. I've talked to him about what it's about, where it's going, and I have to say, I'm really genuinely excited to see the direction he's going to take it.

    And who knows? I'll probably end up referencing it extensively.

    Let's call it parallel universe canon, or, "I Can't Believe It's Not Canon!TM"

    12 comments · 324 views
  • 5w, 3d
    Blame GhostOfHeraclitus - The Flash Fic'ening returns

    So we were talking about romantic poetry and I tried to bait him into writing one from one of his characters - Dotted Line - to Celestia. He saw right through me and baited me into writing a sestina from Twilight Sparkle to Princess Luna, in regards to the crush she so totally has on her.

    After spending a few minutes looking up what, exactly, a sestina was, and then a few hours working out how exactly to write one, I ended up with this, a sestina from Twilight to Luna.

    He suggested I put it into a story but I fear I'm going to settle for putting it into a blog post, where only my most forgiving of readers reside. Also, significantly less of them.

    Twilight By Candlelight

    My grip on my emotions is firm

    though my grip on the quill is supple

    The feel of its vane is silken

    The scratch of ink on page so soft

    The light of the candle burns bright and hot

    As I write words to do justice to the moon

    But how does one do justice to the moon?

    Not just the one that in the sky hangs firm.

    But its princess who in the cold night breathes hot

    With skin, unlike barren rock, so supple

    and fur, unlike white grit, so soft

    and mane, when caught in breeze, so silken.

    Does one do justice with words that are silken?

    When trying to espouse the glory of the moon.

    With gentle words on page spoke soft

    Or with commanding praise spoken firm?

    Is the answer, like the page, more supple?

    Or are cold words futile for blood that runs hot?

    I close my eyes and my cheeks burn hot

    And the rustle of the letter is almost silken

    And the paper is balled and now no longer supple

    Because I know it's futility to romance the moon

    Would she spurn my advances tender and firm

    Or would she think of me mad and in the head, soft?

    I hope it's only my words and not my skull, soft

    Because honestly I think she's more than just hot

    Which she is, as a muscular mare with muscles so firm

    Run like iron under skin like oil that's silken

    I think I've let this poem run away from me, moon.

    The meters gone off and I can't work in supple

    But it's a beautiful word, supple

    And please don't think of me as soft

    It took a lot of courage to praise you, my moon

    And usually my poetry skills are more hot

    But when I think of myself nuzzling your mane so silken

    I find it hard to keep this quill firm

    But firm it must be, dancing with vane so supple

    The silken rush of the third draft tarnished by ink soft

    But blood boils hot as third draft or none I send to you, my moon.


    I have to say, I enjoyed writing this. The idea of Twilight starting off trying to be serious and poetic and becoming more and more self conscious as she goes on was just delightful. The extra challenge was trying to get the iambic pentameter down until Twilight Sparkle herself became too panicked to really worry about it anymore.

    And much like everything else in life, now that I've written it, I never, ever have to do anything like this again.

    Unless, of course, somebody really wanted to see Luna's reply... then I might just have to.

    16 comments · 354 views
  • ...
 633
 10,980

Twilight and Dash, upon discovering that the long awaited "Daring Doo 4" movie contains, eugh, Humans, decide to rent out A Nightmare Moon on Elm Street.

Of course all their friends are invited. There is absolutely no way any shenanigans could possibly ensue.

None.

First Published
26th Jun 2012
Last Modified
18th Sep 2012

Somehow I get the feeling there won't be very much movie-watching in this fic.

There were some GREAT lines in this, such as: "I’ll show you and Pinkie and Applejack and Fluttershy and even Rarity and Rainbow Dash! Especially Rainbow Dash! Which is me, because I’m just that awesome!" :rainbowlaugh:

This is going to be good!  :twilightsmile:

My shenanigan radar is coming up blank. No shenanigans here, not for at least 3 miles, nosiree-

Wait, the batteries are dead. Lemme review while I find some more...

It's well-written, and I spotted no mistakes (though, I did sort of skim it gathering the important points rather than fully scrutinise). I can sense nothing is really going to happen, but that's what makes the story good: Rainbow Dash finds out what horror movies are like, and the rest find out how accustomed she is to them. The interesting part is the fact that you could take it in any direction - there's a lot of potential for anything to happen...or, indeed, nothing at all.

Keeping an eye on this.

I hate HiE movies, they're such a cheap gimmick, unless they are written well, like Through the Eyes of Another Pony, or THe Ballad of Echo the Diamond Dog. George Lucolt really hit a new low.

Cute little story so far. Looking forward to the next update and more non-shenanigans. Nonanigans? Something like that.

>>815641 Ooo! How about, "“You finish that word, punk, and I will style your hair. I mean it. I will make you beautiful! There will be curling irons involved. When I am done, I am going to wash that mane of yours, and condition it. It will be silky-soft for weeks. Do I make myself clear?”

Why not call it a ChimiCherryChanga? :pinkiehappy:

>>815831 That line was hilarious! :rainbowlaugh:

On a different topic, they totally ruined Daring Do with that fourth movie.

Can't wait for the movie to start! I really want to see Fluttershy's reaction to all this horror movie thing! :rainbowlaugh:

This WILL be featured, I guarentee.

Hmm, a description from the frontpage that actually makes me want to read a fic? Hell hath surely frozen over. Will update with opinions.

Because your a pegasus.

Your should be you're.

“Well, I was sort of trying to figure out sextant stuff, well, that’s what Twilight told me it is”

Missing punctuation at the end.

As for story comments the story was great and the jokes were hilarious. The characterizations, while a tittle exaggerated was not beyond reasonable and appropriate for a comedy fic.

I only have 2 comments/questions:

1: Rainbow was Twi's "ride" home from Canterlot? What, was she just going to carry her or did she have a small chariot or wagon?

2: I do not understand why Applejack had "a little gold telescope in her mouth". Can you explain the joke? Because I obviously don't get it.

Also I look forward to more. One of my favorite older comedy fics has them going to a horror movie.

So far I like it tho it was kind of hard for me to know who was talking, but over all, I think it's a pretty good story.

I thought that this was really funny. I can't wait to see the next chapter!

Pinkie should really stop looking for stuff underneath Twilight's bed.

I love this man. It's a great laugh, the Rocky Horror Picture show was a very nice little touch. Now I'm wondering if there is a MLP Rocky Horror Picture show...Hmm. Anyway. Very well done plot wise and I can't wait to read more. :pinkiesmile:

Is an interesting concept.  Show us more.

Sorry...I was laughing so hard I forgot what I was reviewing.....hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.....ahhh.....this is funny as buck, I LOVE this story, I'll leave a more length review later on, I'll be tracking this.

This story has so much potential. It literally reeks of potential. With a beginning chapter like this, you can do anything with this fic.

[img]https://whyweprotest.net/asset-proxy/0f646dbd214789c9052e78d1174913bec000f2ed/687474703a2f2f693330342e70686f746f6275636b65742e636f6d2f616c62756d732f6e6e3137312f4e69636b506f74726f736b692f596f752f4252494c4c49414e542e6a7067/http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn171/NickPotroski/You/BRILLIANT.jpg[/img]

>>815966

The little gold telescope is the sextant Pinkie was going on about.  Or at least a part of it.  Not sure why it ended up in AJ's mouth though... :applejackunsure:  Maybe Pinkie was a bit too enthusiastic in pulling it out or something...

Somewhere close by, if you listened carefully enough, mournful honking could be heard from somewhere in the general direction of Fluttershy’s cottage.

Fluttershy committed animal cruelty!!

>>816398

Oh, OK. Sextants are more than just the telescope part though...

Wait a minute...

She turned around to see Pinkie Pie standing over Applejack, who was hyperventilating on the floor, with a little gold telescope in her mouth.

OOOOOHHHHHHH!!!.... I see. It was the sentence structure that was confusing me. The reason it was described as "a little gold telescope" was because the perspective had switched to Rainbow Dash. And it's entirely possible from the wording that the sextant is not in AJ's mouth, but in Pinkie's.

Hey, author. Might want to not make that sentence a separate paragraph so it's better illustrated as RD's perspective, you may also want to change the wording to make it clearer.

>>816458

:rainbowderp: Huh.  Yeah, that is a confusing sentence.  Author, you might wanna straighten that up.

Will you people please stop making Kingdom of the Crystal Skull jokes?! Some of us actually like that movie.

This chapter is delectable!

ANOTHER! :flutterrage: *smashes cup on the floor*

HOLY SHIT LUNAS IN A SNUGGIE I'M IN

>>815750

He re-released another film, didn't he? Ugh...

yes i was in b4 featured ha ha

Yeah... I can't picture them correctly for this fic. I imagine them looking like their HotDiggetyDemon portrayals, and the stuff going on certainly helps. On the other hand, they still have their regular voices.

:yay: I'm LIKING this idea~!

NOW MOAR!!! :flutterrage:

please? :fluttershysad:

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS, CRUSADERS!”

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

sextant+books under bead+ Pinkie= some that is without a doubt scary, but fun. if ya catch my drift.

I'm commenting before I read this because I read the description. I found it highly ironic since I am currently in the middle of an, "A Nightmare on Elm Street" marathon.

Now to read.

Well, that name in the description alone is giving me the thought that Nightmare Moon is next Freddy Krueger, so...you know the drill:

I have now read this chapter and am currently impatiently waiting for the next.

Also, Changas as is spelt with an a, not an o.

cute, i am keeping an eye on this.

>>815857

:duck: That's it! Makeover time!

Great story, i'm going to be watching this.

So wait . . . is the fourth Daring-Do movie actually just Whip and Wing?

Oh yes.  Take my ticket, I am on this ride.  :pinkiehappy:

“You finish that word, punk, and I will style your hair. I mean it. I will make you beautiful! There will be curling irons involved. When I am done, I am going to wash that mane of yours, and condition it. It will be silky-soft for weeks. Do I make myself clear?”:raritystarry:

That line sealed the deal for me.

Favetracking like a BAWSS.:pinkiegasp:

I have an amazing imagination....which means I spent the past five minutes laughing my flank off at how hilariously awesome this story could get!

>>816888 No, that turned out to be a Lyra/Rainbow Dash fanfic.:pinkiehappy:

okay. this looks good. tracking.:yay::ajsmug:

A good enough story, with an excellent main idea and some good humour, but it's just not gripping me. It seems to be moving at quite a fair lick, a bit too fast to really focus on it. Slow down, describe more, and write a bit longer and you'll have that featured box for weeks. I'll fave this to see how you develop, and like it because, well, I like it! :twilightsmile:

LOL @ the picture "Headless in da hood" :rainbowlaugh:

Shenanigan levels increasing rapidly. Gentlemen, I am afraid we are about to cross the event horizon into *removes glasses*...hijinks.

>>816865

YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>816680

I was too! Lol!

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