My Little Porky: Friendship is PSI

by zennec-fox

In Which Porky Must Make a Friend

"PK ALARM!" Lucas shouted, waking Porky and Ness up suddenly. Cheerilee, the librarian, told him to be quiet. "Sorry, ma'am."

"What was that about?!" Porky asked. "It's Saturday!"

"We're in a world unfamiliar to all three of us," Lucas explained. "We need to find out more about where we are!"

"Let's explore!" Ness suggested.

"...we're in a library," Lucas said. "We could just--"

"EXPLORATION!" Ness ran out the door. Lucas and Porky looked at each other, shrugged, and followed him.

-------

The boys' exploration began at what was left of the Wondercolt Statue. At this point, it was just a magical block of stone.

"You know," said someone from behind them, "that used to be a statue of a stallion." The three boys turned around to see Sunset Shimmer behind them.

"What are you doing here?!" Porky asked.

"And what happened to the statue?" Ness asked.

"I'm here because Twilight wanted me to tell you something," Sunset said to Porky. "And as for the statue...let's just say someone went a little...overboard with their obsession with magic."

"What did Twilight say?" Porky asked.

"She said that you needed to make some friends," Sunset explained.

"But I've already got two friends right here," Porky said, grabbing Ness and Lucas.

"You left me for dead twice and then tried to kill me," Ness said.

"And you killed half of my family and tried to end the world," Lucas said.

"Honest mistakes!" Porky said. "Anyone could've done them to you!"

"I doubt that," Ness and Lucas said in unison.

"She wants you to make friends from here," Sunset clarified.

"But it's Saturday!" Porky complained. "How am I supposed to meet any of my fellow students if they're not in school?!"

"I know a place," Sunset said, smiling.

-------

The four of them arrived at the Sweet Shoppe. As one would typically expect from this place, several Canterlot High students were there.

"See?" said Sunset Shimmer. "There are lots of CHS students here. Now, go talk to one!"

"Um, okay..." Porky said, unsure of himself. He looked around the Sweet Shoppe, trying to find someone he'd never met. He eventually settled on an orange girl with purple hair and a leather jacket. Porky approached her cautiously. Ness and Lucas followed at a safe distance; Lucas was hoping Porky would succeed, while Ness had already bought a milkshake and was preparing to drink it smugly when Porky failed.

"Hi there!" Porky said. The orange girl turned around. Lucas held his breath and crossed his fingers. Ness put his mouth around the straw.

"Hm?" the girl said. "Oh, hello!" Lucas and Ness leaned in, waiting to see what would happen.

"We go to the same school, don't we?" Porky asked.

"Oh, yeah!" the girl said. "You were that kid who forced everyone onto that floating city."

Porky turned around and sat at a chair somewhere away from the orange girl. Lucas and Ness sat with him.

"That went well!" Lucas said, trying to reassure Porky.

"No it didn't," Ness said, taking a long sip of his shake.

"Yeah, you're right," Porky said, slamming his head down on the table. "This was a bad idea. I don't even need friends!"

"That's a lie and you know it," Ness told him, taking another sip of his milkshake. "Without friends, you turn into a literal devil-child."

"That was one time!"

"Hey, she's coming over this way!" Sunset Shimmer said. Porky pulled up his shirt collar. The orange girl flicked him. Porky didn't respond. She looked up at Lucas and Ness.

"Is he all right?" she asked.

"Better than usual," Ness said. "I'd kill Lucas' brother just to have him shut up for this long."

"Too soon," Lucas mumbled.

Two other girls came over. One was yellow with red hair, and the other was white with purple and pink hair.

"Wow, Porky," Ness said. "You're awful popular with the ladies." Porky stayed silent.

"I'll check his pulse," said the yellow one. She checked his pulse. "Yup, he's got a pulse."

"Porky!" Ness said. "Porky boy! Wake up! It's friendship time!" Porky didn't budge. Ness sighed. "Porky, you're the best friend I've ever had," he said, rolling his eyes. Porky jolted awake.

"You really mean that, Ness?" Porky asked, smiling a little. Everyone at the table cheered.

"Hey," said the orange girl. Porky turned to face her.

"What do you want?" he said bitterly.

"I'm...sorry about the whole 'flying city' thing," the orange girl said, rubbing the back of her head. "I didn't realize that was such a sore subject for you."

"Aw, look, she's apologizing," Ness said. "I'm sure you at least know what to do when someone apologizes."

"Refuse to be their friend, then try to kill them ten years in the past?" Porky snarked. Lucas let out a brief "HAH!" before falling on the ground, laughing.

"That was one time!" Ness said. "And there were other problems..."

Porky looked the orange girl in the eyes. "It's fine." Ness spit out his milkshake through the straw. Lucas laughed harder in victory.

"So, uh, what's your name?" the orange girl asked.

"Porky," said Porky.

"I'm Scootaloo," the orange girl said, smiling.

-------

Ness and Lucas sat in front of the school, watching the sunset together.

"That sure was something, huh?" Lucas asked.

"Hey," said Ness, "if we're at a school, shouldn't we be going to classes?"

"What's a 'school?'" Lucas asked. Ness was shocked.

"You've never been to school?!" he asked.

"We never had one in Tazmily," Lucas answered.

"Wow," said Ness. "You were lucky."

"Sure smells like it," Lucas said. "My grandfather lives on a farm, and he smells better than most kids here." Ness laughed.

"It's nice to be able to just relax after preventing a huge crisis," Ness said. Lucas nodded.

"We should head back inside," Lucas said. "Who knows what Porky has gotten up to all alone in the library?"