She loved, she adored books, she spent most of her life with her mussel inside a book
muzzle
"Spike I'm bored"
Dunno if this could still pass as correct. Add a comma perhaps? "Spike, I'm bored"
Across from the Alicorn sat her dragon assistant/ adopted baby brother stood rearranging the shelves on the bookshelf
Is he sitting or is he standing, make up your mind
"Again? What about those books Princess Celesta sent you awhile ago, did you read those to?"
It think you're supposed to use "a while" in this situation
"Yeah read them all two days ago."
Again, a comma after "Yeah" would do good. Also the rest of the sentence bothers me a little, maybe change it up with "finished all of them two days ago"?
Right on top of a astronomy and one of her Daring Doo book
this should be "an". Or you could potentially change it to "a book on astronomy". There should also be an "s" at the end there.
After her old one got destroyed by Terik
Tirek
having figuring out the keys to a diamond shape chest
figured. shaped I'd also change it from "a chest" to "the chest", seeing as there only one in existence
chest did they get have the power to defeat him
Drop the "have". You could also change "get" to "obtain"
At this point I'll just stop pointing out places there is a need for some punctuation, like commas, because I foresee a lot of them unfortunately
"Spike take a break when your done rearranging
you're
I'm going to go for a walk around and stretch my legs for bit
I'd either drop "around" or add something more to it. like "Around town", "around the castle", etc.
Said Twilight as she got from her spot
"up from her spot" maybe?
Walking out the library
forgot a word here
One thing that she continue to see that was crystals
Either add a comma after "see", or remove "that"
If she didn't know any better if felt like she was ripping off Candice and Shinning Armor's
it. Cadance. Shining
Aaand this is getting tiresome, I am not cut out for this, especially not in the middle of the night. I'll still continue to read and I do hope this helped a little bit. Sorry for not doing more
All aboard the band-wagon.
muzzle
Dunno if this could still pass as correct. Add a comma perhaps? "Spike, I'm bored"
Is he sitting or is he standing, make up your mind
It think you're supposed to use "a while" in this situation
Again, a comma after "Yeah" would do good. Also the rest of the sentence bothers me a little, maybe change it up with "finished all of them two days ago"?
this should be "an". Or you could potentially change it to "a book on astronomy". There should also be an "s" at the end there.
Tirek
figured. shaped
I'd also change it from "a chest" to "the chest", seeing as there only one in existence
Drop the "have". You could also change "get" to "obtain"
At this point I'll just stop pointing out places there is a need for some punctuation, like commas, because I foresee a lot of them unfortunately
you're
I'd either drop "around" or add something more to it. like "Around town", "around the castle", etc.
"up from her spot" maybe?
forgot a word here
Either add a comma after "see", or remove "that"
it. Cadance. Shining
Aaand this is getting tiresome, I am not cut out for this, especially not in the middle of the night. I'll still continue to read and I do hope this helped a little bit. Sorry for not doing more
need and editor and serious spelling check
more
7567266 Did some editing so should be a lot smother to read now. Thank you for pointing those out friend.
Despite some grammar corrections I can't wait for the next chapter. I wonder if he'll awaken.
grammar, that's all I really have to say
other wise its a good story so far
Seriously grammar is still totally f**ked up, go over it with three editors. You need practice.
2 centimeters thick? Unless that book has less than ten pages, it would probably give alicorn twilight problems.