I was just a normal boy when it all started, I went to school, had a girlfriend, and a loving family. Then it all changed when my grandfather pasted to me his prized top hat.
Normal when you receive a top hat it is in bad shape from yeas of use, not this one. sure it showed sines of rust on the brim, but it looked like a blue top hat made of metal.
Oh, if only that was true.
The next morning I find myself in another world where girls dive tanks on a huge ship, with each ship fighting each other.
After some deliberation, I decided to join their school and become a tanker too, only I happened upon an old train. Only; it was not just an old train, not that I knew at the time.
Even after I volunteered to haul all their equipment back to the ship, even when the bridge i was on collapsed and I plummeted into an old mine. Only when I left the mine did I realize how special the train, my hat, my grandfather were. How special I was. How I would have to fill his shoes in this new world... and how lost I was.
*Pleas note if you want to skip the intro of how he came to Equestria to when he arrives skip to
chapter 5*
*the crossover is for the beginning few chapters and some of the themes and ideas used in my work*
Only one chapter in and i need to stop and think. how cool would it be if he turned into a Reaper Leviathan, other then that im liking this story so far.
I don't think i have ever seen a story based around trains before, im going to keep my eyes on this, it might turn out better then anypony expected. ether way great job with the story i see you put a lot of work into building a deep history and world with your writing please keep up the great work.
What is this a crossover of?
dude the image of the cat is just a GIANT LINE OF CODE!
7546584
I have fixed the image of the cat for you
and the crossover is for the first beginning chapters
7546705 thanks for fixinxing that, just felt you should know
After reading through this i can say that this is a EVERY detailed world your building, i hope we get a little more backstory or show us where you get your inspiration.
All and all i like this story and if it continues it pace its going to end up on my favorites list. i do hope that this continues to update regularly, other then that, good show Q_The_Exile i hope to be seeing more from you soon.
So basicly this guy cant grow in any way unlocking new abilities, bettering himself in any way or overcoming the realisation that he is basicly stuck here for a while now.
Meh ill just inroll in some class not knowing were or how to do so and mabie, just on the side, i find a way to get home.
Since this chapters dont break more than two thousand i will read to the fourth.
See me in a few minutes.
Here you rifle a lot of information ceasing to show most of whats going on like were these guys were shooting panzers. I simply thought that they were sitting outside parked around the back inside the, "large hangar."
Were was he pulling up to? I just though he shifted it to the right and when did the other two girls hop in. You really brushed over the part were they apparently showed him how the controlls worked. Was it a bright sunny day? Was the field flat and green or was it a berren desert? Was the arcatecture of this school place filled with windows or just a brick shack? Was there only one hall and one room? Was his room just a bed and an alarm clock?
Just taking the time to describe a few details would put this chapter well over five thousand but again the information just came off as riffled skipping the scenery, pleasant details and bolting straight to the target head on.
I know i sound mean but often times you need to imbrace criticism on a professional level.
Now this is only some advice but if you think you have grown as a writer in the last seven chapters than you should go back and starting at this one in particular, and listen to me when i say this, you just start padding that shit with detail making this world look vibrant and worth emersing yourself in. Show us what you see im sure its amazing and worth experiencing you just dont provide the necessary resources to start building that world you do see.
Im positive you can do it. Good Luck.
Wisdom from The Mad Donut. One and only.
7547109
Dear xr7boy and MadDonut,
Unfortunately i had to skip some of the scenery parts in order to put this up on the site. They said something along the line of 'too detailed and does not relate to mlp' so i had to drastically reduce the details on the first few chapters.
As for the short ones, just because they care short, don't discount them. I know for a fact that one of my chapters is really short but has a very important section in it as to how he becomes introduced to the outside world from his kingdom.
nice story but when will the next chapter come out?
continue it