• Member Since 15th Oct, 2015
  • offline last seen Oct 31st, 2023

RealityPublishing


Welcome to RealityPublishing!

E

Twilight Sparkle, ruler of Equestria and master of her name, tries to tell her late friends a desperate truth. With no one in light of truth, Twilight waits for a chance to reveal her sorrows, forgive herself, and learn a lesson long overdue.

-RealityPublishing

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 7 )

Legit confused, why is this story assigned as complete.
Not even a vague explanation and nothing but hints to the outcome, dafuc.

It's excellent though.
Not finished.
But excellent.

7515543
7515793

I apologize for my inability to complete my work. Please refer to the recent update for more insight concerning this fiction.
Thank you,
-RealityPublishing

http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/667530/august-28th-2016-update-dear-friends-news

Simple enough, will track.

This is a beautiful story. It's basis, from what I understood, is that of grief. While Twilight is not in a dispute with herself, but accepting of the fact that she is to blame for her own actions, she continuously tries to find loopholes where she could even slightly take the blame off her chest. However, without success, she always trudges back to blaming herself.

Despite the story being touching and achieving its ultimate goal of connecting the reader with the character posing an inevitable downfall of tears, especially in the ending (which was, by the way, effortlessly on point), I couldn't help but notice two small errors that slithered their way into the text.

Error 1: Line 31 - "The Princess Twilight..." >> 'The' is not necessary in this context as you are referring to Princess Twilight, the only Princess Twilight that exists in your story. (This is very possibly a typo.) <<

Error 2: Line 37 - "The royal one..." >> This is a common LUS (Lavender Unicorn Syndrome) error that is often made even by experienced writers. You are referring to Princess Twilight and because we already know that, there is no need to use different words to describe her because you feel like you've overused her name or title. It can be repeated many times and it will still be correct. <<

You would use such adjectives in combinations with nouns and verbs to describe either a background character for whom the reader doesn't need to know a backstory about or a character that is not yet known to the reader. Using it in the middle of the text so blatantly when the character is already clearly defined just feels awkward.

Other than that, this story's going into my favorites list as well as track list. Thank you for posting it and keep up the good work!

I fell as if there should be more. Good story so far, but it would be better if there was more.

For a story such as this I believe one last chapter will suffice.
Remember not to drag it out.
However an epilogue after would be much appreciated.

Login or register to comment