Twilight smashed her hoof against the wood table, screaming as she repeatedly bashed her head against the hard surface; she pouted, pitying herself for such a foolish mistake,
“Why…” she cried, falling limp to the floor, “How could I think of such a thing? Why would I make such a stupid mistake, as to let… my… IGNORANT… PUPIL TAKE OVER?”
The screams that flooded her castle, followed by loud cracks of wood, left no guard fearless. They dared not leave their post; they dared not approach the princess. For she had done this night after night from the time of the coronation, as pleasant an event it may have been, even she knew how to find disparity on the brightest of days.
It had been seven months since it first happened, two months since the new coronation and still, Twilight wept. Her eyes teared at the start of every morning, and each evening before bed. For her own reason, she could not forget them; they were her strength, her weakness, and her mistake. Though she no longer carried responsibility, thanks to Starlight, she continued to work on whatever it is she thought she needed to do. The little things were the only that ripped her mind off the thought of friendship; and although her duties as a princess were compromised, she still chose to acknowledge them. For the citizens of Equestria wouldn’t have their day if not for her. She felt important when she raised the sun; she felt as though somepony in the world did care. It was special, and it made her feel special.
Twilight struck the wall with her two hind legs, creating a decently sized crater within. As she puffed, she fell to the floor, hitting her head against the stone pattern. She panted,
“Of all the things I could’ve done… why did it have to be this? What’s so wrong with me? I-I didn’t even care about them! Who could? They were worthless! WORTHLESS!”
She jumped her two front hooves onto the table and turned over the left while grabbing a small, metal tipped quill with her right. It was sharp, delicate, capable. She clenched it tightly, raising it high into the stagnant air, and wailed. Wailed like never before, squinting her eyes as she gritted her teeth, practically breaking them in the process. As tears began to build up, she peeked through her left and looked down at the damage she’d done. As blurry as her vision may have been, she made out her purple hoof and a white quill sticking out from within her wrist, greeted by a stream of ruby-red rivers, pouring in all directions. They flooded her desk, streaming down to touch the floors below; heartbroken and wounded, she sobbed. In denial and in defeat, she sobbed. Through pity, and through pain, she sobbed; for that was all she could do.
Twilight watched as the red current continued to consume the wood table; she thought to herself, “So this is my answer for everything, is it?”
It was a stupid idea: yes, but in her time of distress, what could she do? She had no one to talk to; no one who’d care. It was the only thing to make her stop. Twilight shivered immensely as she admired her work and pulled a blank scroll from the stacks that surrounded her. Unrolling the parchment, she watched at how quickly the streams of crimson had their way, soaking the document as though it were a desperate soul.
Twilight slowly pulled the pen as it clung to the flesh it mutilated. She moaned profusely as the reflective metal tip shown itself saturated in the red misery. With her magic, she held the quill high in the air, bringing it down on the parchment that lay drenched in her fluids. As she held the pen at the top of the page, and in ready position, she thought quickly before writing what she should’ve those many months ago,
“My Dearest Friends,
I’m sorry for the pain I have caused, and for this, I must confess.”
As the stained-white quill whipped back and forth, Twilight’s eyes scrolled through her writing. She had the most beautiful of cursive hoofwriting a pony would ever see.
“Through these many months I have guilted only myself for your death. It was I who could’ve stopped it. I wanted to save all of you, if not, as many as I could. Instead, I wanted all or none. The day we all went out to explore, it was to celebrate. With the Summer Sun Celebration coming in just a few short days, I figured it’d be fine, but… it appears even a princess can make mistakes.
I remember the face Rainbow Dash made when we discovered that lonely stone tower. It was such a cool sight! With the way the day was turning out, it was like our very own adventure story! Sadly, that wasn’t how it ended. I knew I should’ve turned back the very moment Dash was hurt. It was foolish of me to overlook such a thing. All I wanted was to celebrate our reunion, our friendship, but… all I got was this…
When the towers collapsed and the gorge consumed, I tried to reach out, having only enough strength to carry Applejack. With Rainbow Dash wounded and Fluttershy too afraid, we… just couldn’t make it. I’ll never forget AJ’s last words; they still haunt me today. It, like many of the others’, was a cry for help. She wanted to be saved, but… I let go. I willingly let go. I didn’t think I could go my entire life with only a piece of my happiness. I wanted everything. It was all, or nothing.
The fact that I couldn’t even save Spike pains me to this day. I’ve known him all my life, yet I still wouldn’t come to my senses. His coffin may have been smaller, but his place in my heart grows ever larger. I miss you all. Each and every one of you. For the times we’ve spent, I should’ve known then to think of only myself. Even though my apology would never make up for my irresponsibilities, I give it to you, to all of you, so that I may one day rest peacefully through the night and carry brighter thoughts of friendship with me forever in the world.
I’m Sorry For the Pain I Have Caused,
Twilight Sparkle, Princess of~”
Twilight dropped the quill. The tears that fell upon the paper may have ruined the message, but it was no matter. She rolled up the scroll and slowly cracked the door ajar, peaking out as it was quite stiff.
“Hello?”
The guards hastily shuffled into position, startled by the princess’s sudden appearance; it was a musty, humid night.
“Yes, your highness?”
Twilight continued to open the door until it fully revealed her appearance. For the first time, she smiled and took it upon herself to deliver the letter.
“Excuse me,” she asked, politely nodding her head to the fellow on her left, “would you be so kind as to escort me to the Friendship Fields? I-I have some… business there.”
The guard smiled, “Of course, your majesty”
The knights who lined the corridor all bowed as Twilight made her way to the end of the hallway. She smiled, looking back at the room who imprisoned her, the desk she bled over, and the floor she cried upon. Gazing down at the letter, dry from tears, crusty from sacrifice, and pure from hope, Twilight smiled, closing the doors behind her and leaving to see her one, and only, true, desperate friends, as this was the real ending she hoped to reach.