If you happen to cry, I will be there. If you happen to smile, will you do the same for me?
Perfect dates don't happen by chance. Twilight knows that better than anyone. Today she will use all the knowledge she has amassed on the subject to prepare for her most important moment.
Thanks to Fahrenheit for prereading.
Special thanks to fourths for editing.
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Aw cute!
All the describing in the beginning kinda made me bored though.
I was thinking it was princess Celestia Hehehe
Very well written. I could hear and see the story unfolding in my mind's eye. You nailed Twilight down to a tee, and your physical descriptions were on point. Again - well done! :)
It's another Lisecan event. :P
Excellent story!
7480851 But that's the best part! That's the story!
This was awesome.
I was kind of wondering if Rainbow Dash would just crash into the castle during the date and just completely FUBAR everything.
I can't help but imagine if Rarity had gotten a cold that day...
T'was some nice fluffy fluff, Lise.
Should of left the dates name a mystery ....no names mentioned would have more impact.
Was waiting for punchline about some ruffian who would appreciate none of these things. Ah well. It is well written.
"After Twilight had set the gift out, she knew the tapestry wasn't quite enough. She returned to her attic to fetch her prized black forest cucu clock. The surface, brushed with pure 25 karat gold. The roof of the housing made from wood, delicately cut from several millennia old trees. Every spring and sprocket made from the purest of silver. Polished and infused with high mage magic so that they would never tarnish. Each one. Tightened and calibrated to the nth degree. While the engraved design on the front , the product of over 30 years of meticulous work, beautifully enhancing the door near the top. Made from a century old emerald. Hiding the small jewel encrusted bird inside. Crafted from a mix of gold and ruby, sapphire and onyx. The clock face itself was covered in the highest quality quartz and the hands themselves. Carved from lava rock. The Roman numerals, expertly calligraphyed on the surface. And finally. The counterweight at the bottom. The chain hoof-crafted from wrought iron. The weights themselves made of expertly cut granite. She hung it on the wall. Opposite the tapestry. It was an heirloom. Past down from her father's cousin's brother's uncle's former roommate. Who received it from a wizened old stallion in Germarey . The stallion had worked his entire life on that clock. Which he then entrusted with the roommate. Who then proceeded to keep it in his attic for 60 years until it was stumbled upon yet again. While twilight was admiring it, it fell off its wall hanging and shattered into several zillion expensive pieces."
I'm not really sure what it was I just read. It seemed like nothing more than a few paragraphs describing a few objects. It was a lot of setup, but nothing to follow it.
7480851 Sorry, was a fluff experiment. Thanks for persevering till the ending :))
7480859 Nah, that's another fic :P
7480880 :D Thanks! Glad you enjoyed :) Trued to add a bit if "logical, but misses the point" element to her reasoning :) Still, I'm liking Twilight's chances.
7480947 :D Wing! :)))
Well, one likes to experiment :)
7481011 Thankee, Octy :) Hooe you had fun reading :)
7481231 Now that would be cruel! ... but not unexpected. Thus the closed windows ;)
7481268 Hmm... Well, knowing Twilight she would have taken the logically complicated rout and teleported the entire setting to Rarity's room, where they would have had the date. Rarity, of course, would be surrounded by a healing bubble. :)
7481448 Ouch! That might make the date a bit awkward... But at least great conversation starter for breaking the ice :D
7481742 Sorry, it was literally just a set up without anything to follow. :(
More the chase than the catch.
7481448 Now that would be a hilarious (though unexpected) alternate ending.
I loved the suspense that each paragraph built. It builds and builds, getting higher and higher… then the resolution brings a nice heartwarming feeling to float the story back down again. Thanks for sharing, Lise!
7482242 :) Thanks! First steps in fluff. Will try to improve for it to be longer than a scene in future :)
7482165 haha. It's okay. It's raritwi fluff which helped.
7481448
I hope everypony know that that was a joke.
Huehuehue huehuehue.
I thought the last part would be a bait-and-switch.
***
"Well, what do you think?"
Maud stared. "It's nice. You have a rock." Blink. Blink.
You know that feeling when you're going up stairs and there's one less than you think there's going to be? That's kind of what I got from this.
"Hmm, interesting, kinda mysterious, kinda cute, I wonder what's going to... oh, it's just a simple pairing. Nevermind!"
Nothing wrong with simple pairings, of course, but after the build-up, it felt like a bit of a letdown.
Not a bad story, and I like the idea, but the execution doesn't really work for me.
7483814 ooh the twimaud ship would be difficult but not impossible
At first, i thought Twilight was setting the table for Spike and Starlight, who would see it, then say "Yeah...uh, how about we go out for a pizza instead?"
Not bad. You were clearly working on polishing up your descriptions and I feel like they worked quite well overall, although you definitely have room for improvement. I strongly recommend reading some of Michener's work for reference because he was absolutely brilliant at crafting long, beautiful, elaborate descriptions without loosing the reader's interest which greatly enhanced his writing. My personal favorite is The Source, but basically all his work is fantastic and will greatly help you improve your craft.
Also, for all the prep work Twilight went through, that gift was a special kind of tacky. Seriously, she re-gifted a major diplomatic gift. That was the kind of thing that belonged on public display to show everyone the strength of the relationship between the two nations, but she gave it away like it was some worthless trinket.
7483814 That would have been so cruel in a sweet kind of way :)
7484192 Sorry :( Didn't mean to ruin your experience.
Was an attempt at writing something new. Might do a sequel at some point (thought it's doubtful) If I do I'll be sure to PM you :)
7485111 So heartless you are... :P Now I see why Ember left you!
7486580 Thanks! :)) Will definitely read that to get a better sense :)
And Twilight just did the most logical thing (as she always does :P)
7487798 Enjoy!
And Twilight made a huge problem by failing to think things through. Again.
I enjoyed all the descriptions of Twilight's trinkets and the stories behind them although, perhaps a Mystery tag should be added since the reader is left guessing who the date is until the end? But maybe that's just me thinking that.
7488572 :D Thanks! Very glad you enjoyed :)
The story is a bit short for a mystery rag, maybe? :) it's barely above 1k. (And it's clear who the date is :P *joke*)
Your descriptions were beautiful and well thought; love the story!
As an experiment, I feel that it worked out most excellent. As per your other stories which I've read, your skill with the written word has once again shone brilliantly.
Da'ww, that subtle shipping.
7875921 O:) Twilight knows how to impress :D
7960783 No fireworks on the first date :P
Aww that was a fun read. It’s nice to see Twilights ocd used for her benifit for a change