Steel and circuits made her body strong and her heart cold.
But what is she without this shell? If you stripped away the facade, what would be left to save?
Chapters (3)
- Member Since 10th Jul, 2011
- offline last seen Jan 8th, 2013
Cherry Rie
Overly creative and have never finished a pet project in my life. A bad combination for someone who wants to take a crack at Fic writing.
Cherry Rie
Joined 10th Jul, 2011 ·
Offline
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1225285
still not sure how it sneeked back in.
YAY Homa-nima-nims
Yeah, they are truly my Achilles heel in all aspects of writing. It’s mostly because I rely so heavily on MSword’s spell checker to pickup my innumerable mistakes and, though I know the difference between the words, can’t actually tell them apart without applying the thesaurus to each.
I'm sure I changed that bit that mentioned her breading too
I really appreciate this though hun, and please feel free to drop any other suggestions you might have to improve on things, I’m learning a lot just from these checks you’re providing
Will set to work ASAP applying what you've caught so far!
1225270
In an attempt to rescue that particular segment, dose this sound better?
I've chopped out the middle section, seeing as I can easily use it in another character's observation. What do you think?
An impressive improvement to an already great story!
Glad to see you posting again Cherry, though miss you around the IRC
1223195
I hat to nit-pick on a nit-pickers nit-pick, but its "Anti-personnel" there is a difference between personal and personnel.
And depending on where you said something like the (tm) would show up, if its internal to a computer, that might not necessarily be there, it all depends on the programmer doing that. Anyways...
Gapy would be better replaced by gaping.
I could keep this up all night, but as has been said before, "two heads are better than one."
I'm not a particularly good writer, but I can edit really well if I put my mind to it. And even then I prefer to have a second editor alongside me to make sure that its all correct. My obsessiveness over detail in my writing makes writing computer code much easier for me, so if you need any pointers just ask.
~Mines5
~Vivat STULTUS~
After publishing, my comments became visible. GOOD TO KNOW.
1601884
I wouldn't worry hun. I trust your opinion and that should be enough for anyone.
1602926 Kinda funny, though. I mean, people seeing them were probably thinking, "Woah, what an ass." and not not, "Woah, what a pre-reader." XD KNOW THE DIFFERENCE *star*