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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Is Rainbow Dash not going to punished for attempted murder of a minor? Especially since it's the son of death I would imagine Luna at least make sure she never tries it again since Celestia can be a little soft sometimes. Even then I think Celestia would punish her for that.
RAINBOW MUST PAY!!!!!
7462662 dont worry she will get whats coming to her AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!
Sorry
7462725 and she will!
7462755 that's good
oh my god rainbow wtf just out right tried to kill a child and over a bite mark that doesn't mean the same thing as a normal hickey the shame the shame.
7463042 i mean he is the son of death but yeah i have one twisted mind i feel ashamed...and its gone
7463059 i'm kinda hopeing shell go through a mental breakdown once she finally realizes that she tried to kill a child even if he was deaths son
7463076 dont worry i got it covered you just got to wait
7463994 If you need someone to edit for you I can.
Oh lord
Ummm....i think grammer's corpse somehow slowly bled out during this chapter
7608236 I agree
Ok I am sorry but i really need to say this...Your grammar for the beginning of this story SUCKS! all in all it is an amazing story with a wonderful story line but the grammar, you need to fix it badly!!!!
Do you need a proof reader? You had most of this chapter in italics and somethings were spelled wrong.
I can't- I just- I- I tried so hard to get into this story, but that grammar is fucking atrocious. I couldn't even get halfway through the chapter before I decided it wasn't worth it. You have twenty-three chapters of this story and the beginning still reads like Baby's first writing assignment. Fix this! It's not hard I assure you. In my opinion, the hardest part of writing is placing an idea on paper and making it understandable to everyone, not just yourself. Going back over it. Proofreading it. That's the easy part.
Apologies, but I'm not spending another minute reading this until the beginning is fixed.
7706024 second chapter ha I laugh
I fear nothing
Edit: but was it worth it
You may need to get an editor, at some points the chapter was quite hard to read.
Jesus: "sure my guy"
Ok I know his mom wanted him to protect everyone but pls do not make him a pacifist, if the son of death doesn’t kill it will make the fic boring
HMMMMMM. This reminds me of a certain blonde viking girl who likes wearing blue. Reference question mark
9533168
Oh my god, some finally getting the references