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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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7608236 sorry you dont like it but others do so again sorry
7608749 Hello Rainbow skies, I wanted to say. This a good story you're writing.
Listen I've seen people giving some bad comments about the writing error. But in my opinion, I think it's a good story so far, but In the near future I'm sure that you'll be fix those errors.
P.S. Keep up the good work and also if you need help on something. Just text me and I'll see what I can do.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH SSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTT MOLLY AS IN THE MOLESTIA SOUND THE ALARM CODE RED EVERYPONY CODE RED EVERYPONY PPPPPPAAAAANNNNIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCC!!!!!!!! *JUMPS INTO A PORTAL AND ZIPS IT SHUT*
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HOLY SHIT RUN *gets Cornered by molestia* NO NO PLEASE GOD NO NOOOOOOOO * cuts to campfire* and I was never seen again. Pinkie pie: then how are you still here. Me: BITCH CUASE MAGIC
Ok I like that you are trying to add some emotions to the story but you really need to built up to the conflict before showing it and then you need to actually develope the conflict instead of making the character walk away like nothing. We had no idea He saw applejack as family therefore him crying in not sad or emotional but just awkward and out of place. This is just constructive criticism so please don’t be offended because I’m not trying to be mean.