• Member Since 5th Jul, 2014
  • offline last seen 40 minutes ago

Fireflower


Comments ( 19 )

I want to enjoy this story, but the natural flow gets broken from the over intelligent descriptions. Clop stories don't need esoteric wording.
Forcing yourself to use over the top intellectual words doesn't make your story more enjoyable, it makes it more difficult to read.

7449243

I understand that but what's the point of using slang outside of character speech if it's not poetic...?

I'd thought that one would who press on wondering what would happen next in the course of reading the story, but it's as the old saying goes: diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks...

If twilight sparkle ever wrote a fan-fic. It would probably turn out something like this. :)
It's an interesting idea for a story, to be sure. But flows and maintains a depth of feeling about as well as reading random Wikipedia pages. Good luck with future endeavors though!

:facehoof: the cover alone makes me want to kill a puppy and eat people

7457015

To be honest, I don't think that she would write something like this; nevertheless, I will keep that in mind.

8394879

What does that have anything to do with the story...?

Comment posted by sciencepony777 deleted Nov 9th, 2017
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