"Who's Quibble Pants?"
Rainbow liked Quibble. Or at least she kinda liked him. He wasn't at all that bad, and he did call her awesome...maybe he liked her too.
"CRASH!"
Rainbow Dash yelped as a strong wind pushed her aside, almost running into her. A blur or color stopped and turned to look at her.
"Why'd ya slow down?" Fleetfoot asked. Dash rubbed the back of her head nervously.
"Heheh...Sorry, Flatfoot, I was distracted," she explained.
Fleetfoot raised a brow. "Distracted? Distracted by what?"
Rainbow blushed. "Oh, nothing, I was just remembering the fun times at the Daring Do convention this past weekend."
Fleet rolled her eyes. "I'm glad you had a good time at your nerd-fest, but we have a show in three days and have to memorize the routine! You can fantasize about your next DaringCon later."
"Okay," Dash sighed. "Hey, where's Spitfire? Isn't she the one usually screaming at me?"
"She's sick," Fleet briefly answered.
"And Clipper? Isn't he co-captain?" Dash asked.
"Your coltfriend is slacking off in the shower room," Fleetfoot smirked.
Immediately reacting, Rainbow blushed a dark red. "He isn't my coltfriend!"
Dash took off, flying towards the HQ. "Where are you going, Crash!" Fleet teased.
"I'm getting Soarin!" She replied, still blushing.
Fleetfoot shook her head as she saw the pony's figure get smaller in the distance.
"Soar?" Dash called out. "Clipper, I shouldn't be in here!" She trotted slowly inside the stallion's shower room. "Ya' know, if you're going to pick a place to skip practice, the mess hall would be preferable."
She continued along the long hall of showers, hoping she wouldn't find somepony grooming themselves. She couldn't hear water hitting against the tile, so atleast nopony was showering.
"Rainbow Crash?" a voice spoke.
Her eyes widened. She gulped and spun around.
"H-hey Wave Chill..." She squeaked.
"Yeah, hi. What are you doing in here?" He asked deadpanned.
Rainbow sighed. "I was looking for Soarin," she answered softly.
"Oh, really, how's that working out for you?" He asked in the same tone.
She frowned. "He's not here."
"No shit."
Rainbow groaned. "Wave, you don't have to be a douche about it."
"You're in the wrong shower room. Plus, if Soarin was here, he would've rushed out to you as soon as he heard ya."
Rainbow stared at him dumbfounded.
"He's in the mess hall. I just saw him."
Without a word, she flew out of the room.
Why was she looking for Soarin at this point? She could just go back to practicing with Fleet. At least she was way nicer than Wave Chill. But, she wouldn't listen to her about the convention. She wiuld only yell at her to fly better. And for whatever reason, she just wasn't up for it. She kind of wanted to talk about the convention. She kinda wanted to talk about Quibble.
She took flight towards the mess hall.
What was she thinking? Since when did she prefer to talk about stallions instead of flying? She wasn't even sure that she liked Quibble like that. She was sure their relationship was completely platonic, and she was just confusing her feelings of friendship for romance.
Rainbow stopped in front of the mess hall.
Maybe she needed to talk to him. After all, he was her best friend in the Wonderbolts. She could trust him more than anypony on the team. Especially for advice, since he happened to be five whole years older than her and she considered him to be very smart.
Deciding to talk to him, she ran inside the mess hall and searched for a light blue stallion.
"Clipper!?" She called out. "Soarin?"
She spotted the blue blob she was looking for and flew over to it.
"Soarin! I've been-..."
The pony turned over to Rainbow Dash.
"Clear Skies....where's your brother?"
"He's in the washroom, he should be out in a few minutes."
Rainbow blushed in embarrassment for creating such a scene. She looked around to find a few ponies staring at her. She cleared her throat softly and went to one of the tables in the corner.
Dash sat down, resting her head on her hoof as she waited for Soarin to return. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe she should keep these thoughts to herself.
No, she had to tell somepony.
Soon enough, Soarin walked through one of the back doors.
"Clipper!"
Soarin jolted his head over to Rainbow and gave her a cheeky grin.
"Crash!"
He flew towards her table and sat down in front of her.
"Why's almost everypony in here? The only ones practicing outside were Fleetfoot, Blaze, Misty Fly and I," Rainbow pondered.
Soarin chuckled. "I'd assume it mostly has to do with the fact that Spitfire's out sick."
Rainbow raised a brow. "Does this happen everytime she's sick?" she asked.
"Almost. She doesn't get sick often, but when she does, she likes to give us work to do," Soarin explained. "However, this time was different. She was sick yesterday, too. But because we have a show coming up, she sucked it in to keep us practicing."
"Is the routine really that difficult?" She asked.
"Oh, no no no- it's pretty simple as far as routines go," he answered. "The only reason she made us practice it about forty times was because she was sick. Spitfire only taught us about half of the performance. She couldn't do more because she was feeling all drowsy and gross, so she just turned into a perfectionalist instead and screamed if a mere feather was out of place.
"Wow..." Dash trailed off.
"Yeah, be glad you were at your book convention," he joked. "How'd that go, anyway?"
Dash beamed. "I was actually about to talk to you about that!"
"Well, even better, then!" Soarin smirked. "Pour it on me."
"It was great, AND I got to actually spend time with A.K Yearling!" She continued, deciding not to tell him that A.K was A.K.A Daring Do.
"Hmm, she the author right? I thought you said she she never went to conventions," he said tapping his chin.
"Well, this was an exception!" She said smiling. "Oh and at the convention, I met this guy named Quibble Pants-"
"What Pants?"
"Quibble Pants! And he-"
"Quibble Pants?"
"Yes! And he-
"Quibble Pants?"
"Yes, Soarin, now let me continue!" She answered. "At first he didn't like any of the Daring Do books past the first trilogy-"
"Sorry, I'm having trouble processing this," Soarin interrupted. "His name is Quibble Pants?"
Rainbow sighed. "Yes." She answered deadpanned.
"Okay, what about him?" Soarin answered, pretending he hadn't heard her explination.
"Well, as I said before, he only liked the first trilogy. He deemed the rest of the books to be unrealistic and he didn't like them."
"But you like them?" Soarin asked.
"Yes," she answered softly.
Soarin smiled. "Good, good."
"Anyway, we took a...Daring Do experience adventure. Hench ponies put us in bags-"
"Together?"
"No, separate." Soarin smiled.
"And they dragged us out to a tropical jungle or forest or whatever. Then their leader explained the entire plan to us. Of course, he thought it was fake and was basically a smart ass about the whole thing." Rainbow explained.
"Did he have an ass?"
"I don't know!"
Soarin snorted.
"ANY-WAY, we were in chained up- next to each other," she paused looking at Soarin."Then he unlocked the...lock and we tried to find our way out of the place."
"Could't you just fly up?" Soarin interjected.
"He was an earth pony," Dash explained.
"You could've just left him," Soarin said.
"He's my friend, I wouldn't leave a friend behind."
"Great...So I'm guessing you found your way out, the end?" He rapidly said.
"Basically, yes."
"Great! Are you hungry?" Soarin asked, trying to change the topic.
"Actually, Clipper, there's one more thing..." Dash answered softly.
Soarin saw her pleading eyes and sighed. "What is it Dashie?" He said smiling.
"I-um...I think I...might like him. Or something..." She said nervously.
Soarin inhaled. "What?"
"I don't know!" She said putting her hooves in her face.
She looked up to see Soarin speed walking away.
"Where are you going?"
"Nurse!"
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Awww, Soarin!!!
7440879 Heh, I was waiting for someone else to write it this time
Quibble pants
What pants?
Quibble
What
QUIBBLE PANTS
Funny.
Not sure where you got "Flap Flip" from, but Fleetfoot's 'Bolts nickname is Flatfoot.
Umm...Rainbow Dash is in her 20s. ALL the Mane Six are in their 20s.
Don't do parenthetical author's notes. Ever.
This needs proofreading. There are far too many typos and errors for such a short piece. Also, I think you're overplaying the "embarrassment" Rainbow feels while searching for Soarin. It doesn't follow that Rainbow would get flustered just from trying to find a pony. Also, the entire "Rainbow searches for Soarin" bit is blatant word count padding, and it shows. Badly.
As to the story itself...sorry, but it's kinda poor. The ending is abrupt, the pacing is bad, and you don't really have a grasp of how to properly execute rapid-fire dialogue.
Get a proofreader, get an editor, refine this, learn how to execute this kind of story effectively.
NO!!! RAINBOW!! YOU DO NOT LIKE HIM!!! YOU LIKE SOARIN!!
Soarin poor XD XD I'm pegging with laughter
7440950 She definitely likes Quibble. ;)
7441381
WELL, I'LL MAKE HER NOT LIKE HIM!!! *takes out stick from behind*
Rainbow: Wha.. What are u doing?!
Me: U. WILL. LIKE. SOARIN!!!
7441398 Me: *grabs Rainbow and runs away* You like Quibble! Don't listen to him!
* Pulls out katakana *
Where is he
Randone pony: Who?
Quibble Pants
I warned him if he interfered with my OTP the penalty is DEATH
*Flies after him*
7440909 Alright, I'll try to fix some of my mistakes and I'll look for a proofreader for my next stories. Thank you for your recommendations and I'll do my best to follow them in the future.
7441493
*her*
Me: *chases after her* IF U DO NOT LIKE, ME KILL!!!! *pulls out Nerf gun* MUHAHAHAHAHAH!!! NOW BOTH OF U AND PANTS WILL DIE!!!
7441512
Me: I'll help you kill the Pants!!!
7441604 *Whips out AK-47 and M60*
Me: run Quibble Dash, run! *turns to you* astala-vista baby!
7441637
Me: MUHUAHUAH!! YOU THOUGHT YOU CAN KILL ME THAT FAST?! *jumps into a random convenient tank* NUH UH!!! U R NOT LEAVING!! I'M ALWAYS FAST AND NEVER LAST! TIME FOR U TO DIE!!!! *gives war-cry* SOARINDASH FOR THE WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7441650 Me: I'll be back. *Goes to random air force base and steals an A-10 Warthog, flies over here* HERE'S ARNIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
7441658
Me: *goes into the place where bombs are kept and takes out a RDS-220 hydrogen bomb* SHIPPERS!!!!! WORLD WAR 3 IS STARTING!! TAKE YOUR PLACES AND FIGHT!! FIGHT!! FIGHT!!
7441667 Me: *Heads on over to Skynet and starts production on more T-800's, T-1000's, and Hunter-Killer's* "You asked for it pal."
7441691
Me: *steals the U.S, Russian, Britain, and all the other countries armies* FIGHT ARMY!! FIGHT FOR SOARINDASH!!
Soldiers: *looks at each other* What are we doing here?
Me: I SAID FIGHT!!!!
7441704 *Does a bit of dimension hopping and gathers up the Empires forces from Star Wars, the Colonial Marines from Aliens, the Red and Blu teams from Team Fortress 2, the UNSC fleet from Halo, and all of Immortan Joe's forces from Mad Max Fury Road, Chuck Norris, and John Rambo.*
Me: Fight! Fight for the QuibbleDash!
Sarge from Red vs Blue: What in Christ's name are we doin' here?
Ramdom stormtrooper: I think we're here for a ship war.
Sarge: Oh, well in that case *pumps shotgun* let's do this.
Random warboy: I AM AWAITED IN VALHALLA!!!
Heavy from Team Fortress 2: Now doctor! *Medic pops Ubercharge* I am bullet proof!!!
Private Hudson from Colonial Marines: Time to kick some ass, and take a whole lot of names!
Captain Lasky on UNSC Infinity: Roland, prepare the Spartans.
Chuck Norris: *Does something badass*
Rambo: *Loads belt of ammunition into M-60* Time to draw first blood for once.
7440909 They're in their 20's??? How do you know? Is it canon?!?!? (In my mind, I want Dash to just be twenty...just because....no reason..*coughPiercingtheHeavenscoughycoughsocoughmySoarinDashCOUGHdaydreamsworkHmmmmmmmmmm*......that sure was a lot of coughing
)
7442040 Word of God has always been they're in their early 20s, even as far back as the first season.
7441759
Me: *Blows bubble gum.* I'm getting bored. EXPLODE THE NUCLEAR BOMB!!!! *the bomb gets thrown and no one knows what happens*
7442481 Me: *closes book* "And that children, is the story of the war between QuibbleDash and SoarinDash.
Random Child: And this all happened because of a fanfic someone wrote?
Me: No, that had nothing to do with it. The war was going to happen no matter what.
Ramdom Child: Oh, okay.
7442556
Me: This is an awesome fanfic. I should write about it.
You forgot one thing though.
Me: *tells the children* at the end no one won. Quibble and Soarin got killed, oh and Zephyr did to, so no more shipping happend.
The end.
No seriously, I should write a fanfic about this stupid fight. What u think?
7442577 Yeah, definitely. XD
7443179
Since you also wrote it, we should write it together if you want... Cuz, I wouldn't feel right about taking all the credit. Yes, I know I'm so thoughtful...
7443857 Would you like to take this conversation to a PM?
7443961
PM IT IS!!!
*gasps for air*
I'm done choking on my blanket. (I had to do something to not let my entire family know I'm a crazy fangirl...)
This was cute, there was typos and things of the sort, but unless your looking for them specifically it's something you autocorrect while readying.
I will say that the ending was a little abrupt... But I can deal with it XD
I think imay be going through the same problems as Dash..
I DONT KNOW IF I LIKE QUIBBLEDASH OR NOTTTT!
*sighs and adds ship to 'Favorite ships' list on wall*
#SoarinDashFOREVER
ME THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE EPISODE
Honestly, I would have liked for the romance tag to refer to RD and Soarin, not RD and Quibble. Quibble's a fun character, but I think RD just meshes better with Soarin.
As for the story itself, there needs to be more to it. It doesn't end so much as it just stops.
7454182 I know about the ending, and I'm sorry
I'm trying to rewrite the entire story, with an editor's help of course, as I'm only a beginner and I make many mistakes
7470160 It kinda is for Soarin and Rainbow Dash, Soarindash is my otp... I honestly don't really know what I was thinking with Rainbow liking Quibble, maybe it was only for Soarin to be jealous. I am trying to rewrite the story, since I'll admit it's really bad. But thanks for reading!
7469974
7473440 You're welcome.
I'd suggest RD making it clear to Soarin that she likes him more, but that would probably be best suited for a sequel to the rewrite, rather than the rewrite itself.
7473509 Maybe
*plots master plan*
HAHAAAAAA
I'm 100% in love with quibbledash <3
This fic is really cute, nice job!
Care to give a link?
8304787
Do you mean in the description or for you??
First page is here: http://beyond-theboundary.deviantart.com/art/Rainbow-Crush-566331610
But most of it continues on the artist's second account, here : http://lrusu.deviantart.com/art/Rainbow-Crush-71-605157075
WHY?!?!?! SOARIN!! DON’T JUST STAND THERE LIKE AN IDIOT AND DO SOMETHING!!!
Oh my GOSH, this was ADORABLE and so hilarious
And the dialogue was quick, but well written. Not an easy thing to do. Great job!
I'm really reading this book cus it's so good lol
10822904
Re-reading* fucking autocorrect