Spike learns from Magnum, Rarity's father, that she loves mustaches. So in order to impress the one he loves most, Spike sets off on a quest of epic proportion, meeting every mustached character in the series so far! Whether its under the teachings of Steven Magnet or a showdown with the FlimFlam brothers, Spike will do whatever it takes to reach the lost spring and obtain the greatest mustache of all time!
Just a note: I am taking some ridiculous liberties with character like the The Dude Lebowski, as well as others.
Chapters (2)
Its like star wars meet indiana jones meets my little pony.
I don't do a whole lot of comedy, but this made me smile for some reason, which is really, REALLY, hard to do. For this you have earned my favorite and also a watch since you seem to be a beginning author such as myself. Keep writing!
808331No Karate Kid? Damn, but thanks for the review, and tell your friends!
Hehe, this was pretty funny
A few errors here and there (it's spelled 'Zecora') but otherwise a fun, silly little story
Pretty good, although the wording was a bit strange and the dialogue could be improved at some points.
A few things:
...known to ponykind!... Not really sure about this, but I think it makes more sense.
...Rarity’s father, Magnum, came to visit... Seems like you meant to spell Magnum instead of Mangum.
...Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack... Rainbow Dash is two separate words and the 'jack' in Applejack shouldn't have a capital letter.
...Spike and Magnum... Wrong again.
...Come on, this is your chance! Spike thought to himself. Just ask him to let you marry Rarity. ... Since Spike isn't really talking out loud, I don't think quotation marks are necessary. It's more common for writers to use italics to indicate thought.
...Magnum seemed to enjoy conversing... Quite seems a bit out of place, and I think conversing would be a better way to say it, although you can probably leave that.
...and Spike hurried her out of the door. ... I'm not sure. I'll check later.
...After a while, they finally returned to the library. “What's the big rush Spike?" Twilight asked. "I thought you liked Rarity’s dad, although you certainly looked happy when we walked in,” ...
Changed the overall sentence structure a bit. I'm not a writer, and I know this isn't perfect, so it would be nice if someone else could fix that up.
That's all I'm doing for now. I'll continue later.
813613
Thanks for the corrections. I wrote this over only 3 days and most of it was when i was tired, so i figured there would be a lot of misspelled words, like for instance i misspelled Zecora also. I might get to doing those changes later, but writing this whole story was hard enough
Alright. Next up...
...“This has nothing to do with Rarity’s dad," replied Spike. “Well…actually it does. But there’s no time to explain. I need to go off on another journey, and I don’t know when I’ll be back.”... Changed the sentence around a bit.
..."I thought you figured out who you were when you went off to live with the dragons," said Twilight. "Is Magnum saying weird things about how he thinks lizards and dragons are the same again?"... Changed the sentence around again and de-capitalized lizards and dragons.
...about love,” said Spike... Replaced full-stop with a comma. De-capitalized 'said' to fit.
...With that, Spike walked out the door, and was not seen again for many weeks. Added some commas, got rid of 'of', added 'again'. It's mainly to break up the sentence.
...the Everfree Forest... Capital on 'forest'.
...tales of daring explorers... You might want to change 'daring' here to something else, because of how you mention 'Daring Do' so soon afterwords.
...a Daring Do book... One 'o'.
Zecora.
...Spike shouted excitedly, as he darted... Moved it around again.
...That dated back to Starswirl the Bearded... Magic disappearing 's'!
...At this point,Spike thought he had... Added a little bit so it sounds better.
...but in reality, he had... Added a comma.
...Suddenly, Spike heard a large splash behind him, followed by a not so threatening roar... Rephrased a bit.
...“Well hey there!" Said a strangely familiar voice. "I haven’t seen anyone around here since those six darling little ponies pranced on by here about a year ago! Ah, what is it they were looking for again? The elements of magnificence was it? Oh well... ah, right! What can I help you with, my cute, scaly brethren?” The great sea serpent questioned, his multicolored mustache gently swaying in the breeze... I tried to keep the sentence as close to the original as I could, or at least include the information presented in it. I'm still unhappy with the last line though.
Also, before I forget, in the summary/blurb:
...a quest of epic proportions... Changed it to plural.
...the Flim Flam brothers... Added a space in between Flim and Flam.
You probably don't need the note. The story is labelled 'random'.
That's all for now (again).
819312
Thanks again. I don't think i'll get to them soon though, I'm going to be traveling around Italy for a couple weeks. This is kind of weird for me though, because i normally don't make these mistakes, and end up spending a lot of time trying to get things to sound better. Guess writing in the middle of the night actually affects my thinking.
I have three words that will strick horror into the hearts of
Laser Hair Removal.
fun story, upthumb'd.
Truly, an adventure of epic proportions this was.
"I think you look silly with that fake mustache on"
Awesome! The story is getting slightly more popular. Hope this snowballs soon, but even 20 likes would be great
The mustache is strong in this story...it's a nice gag I guess.
Rarity, the slave driver at w...
ah well, if Spike does it, I don't actually care about that 
I look so sexy with a moustache.