• Published 29th Jun 2016
  • 5,183 Views, 269 Comments

I'm no Mother, right? - Sense of Humor



In which Starlight discovers a filly taking shelter from a storm and changes her own life forever.

  • ...
12
 269
 5,183

Page 6

And four cups of mayonnaise.

Starlight whirled on the small ladder and narrowed her eyes at her daughter, who had her nose buried within a cookbook. "It does NOT say that! "

Just kiddiiing! Auqa giggled innocently at the mare. It actually says two...sticks of butter. I don't think we have any sticks made of butter, do we?

The unicorn pointed her hoof at the yellow bars sitting on the counter in front of her, smiling a little at the misunderstanding. "They're not literally sticks. They're more like 3D rectangles, yknow? Blocks of butter."

Aqua grimaced visibly while her gaze focused on the sticks...er, bars of butter. Then why won't this book say 'Blocks of Butter'?! They're clearly not sticks.

"Maybe it just means the book isn't as smart as you are." Starlight smirked at her.

Wow! Y'really think so?! I'm really smarter than a book?! Coool!

It was impossible not smile at her cute little outburst, so she didn't even try to fight the grin that came to her face. She did roll her eyes however, before they fell on the huge white bowl in front of her. It already had the result of mixed sugar, eggs, baking powder, milk and flour which looked like a giant lump of cookie dough. "Alright, smarty-pants. Let's finish this thing! What's after the butter?"

Aqua scanned the page as Starlight dropped in the butter sticks and used her magic to mix it all together evenly. The filly eventually came up with an answer. Now we need ¼ teaspoon of fine salt...where's that teaspoon at?

"I don't think we have teaspoons…" Starlight blushed as she said this, as it reminded her of the reason they didn't have teaspoons anymore. In short, it was her fault and resulted in an incident best left forgotten. "We'll just add a pinch of salt to it and leave it at that. Anything else, Captain Sprinkle?"

Uuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmm...two teaspoons of… What's pure vanilla extract?

"...something we're lacking." Starlight explained, for she had already looked through the pantry for vanilla extract. All they had were chocolate bits, and Aqua had expressed a horrific dislike for chocolate. She assumed that Applebloom might've offered her a chocolate apple earlier in the day. "I've got an idea. Why don't we walk down to town and buy ourselves some vanilla extract?"

Heehehee

"What?"

Down to town. It ryhmes!


Down in town, things were bustling as normal and producing crowds around particular carts. The two passed through the narrow clear space; Starlight walking on one side and Aqua waddling on the other. It wasn't long before the taller of the two guided them over to a clear cart and began to search for the vanilla extract amongst the piles of other ingredients. Aqua patiently sat below her mother for a moment, but became distracted by a cart right next to theits and it's plush contents. Mooom, can I have one of thoooose?

Starlight turned away from her search and looked at the random stuffed animals and toys sitting on the top of the cart. "Erm...no. not today, sweetheart. I don't have that many bits."

But I really want one!

Starlight looked down again and saw that Aqua was...glaring at her? What caused that reaction? "...I know, Sweetie, but I don't have any more bits for it. I can buy you one later."

I don't want one later...

"...Well, that's too bad. You can't touch anything in that cart, understand?" Starlight frowned under the confused stare of the ingredients pony, before nervously laughing. "Uh...I can tell when she...wants something. Heh heh..."

After several more minutes of deciding what other ingredients she could squeeze in, Starlight finally decided to get the vanilla extract only. She paid for it calmly and used her magic to levitate it into one of her pouches, then turned to look down on at Aqua. The filly was holding something small in her hooves and playing with it, making the unicorn assume that she had gotten a small animal. "Aqua! What did I just say to you, young mare?!"

You said I couldn't touch anything in that cart! Aqua answered, barely looking up. So I found something next to the wheel.

Starlight was just about to respond to this when she looked closer at the object in her daughter's hooves and noticed that the stuffed animal cart was missing. Well,not missing exactly, just rolling farther and farther away from them at the moment. Starlight gasped dramatically and began to race after it, but not before barking at Aqua. "Stay right there, you hear me?"

Ponies left and right were leaping out of the way of the massive cart, roughly landing just out of it's reach. The mare sent out swift apologies during her chase but found that the steeper the hill became the more distance was created between them. She did manage to warn a few ponies ahead of time by yelling at the top of her lungs and exhausting herself during the run. Once the ground became horizontal again, she was able to run alongside the massive cart as it neared it's final stop...a cliff. She swallowed nervously; if this cart was broken in any way the owner would be simply furious with her, and her 'Twilight card' wouldn't help at all either.

The unicorn sped up a little more until she was galloping in front of the cart, about to test something that Applejack mentioned doing a long time ago. She suddenly stopped running and held her hind legs out behind her, where the cart soon connected with her hooves. Her forelegs burrowed through the grassy ground and threw up tons of dirt into the air. She was pushed slowly towards the edge of the cliff, but actually managed to stop with her her hooves just a centimeter before the cliff edge. She sighed in relief.

Then the ground gave away and she tumbled all the way down into a pool of mud.

When her screams became choked with mud, she reemerged and coughed the stuff up as fast as she could to breathe. Pigs romped and snorted in the mud near the pony, somehow reminding her that her hair was completely done for and so was her coat. She looked up halfheartedly to see that practically all of ponyville had gathered on the cliff to stare down at her. One of those ponies just so happened to be Aqua.

Wow! That looks like fun!

Aqua promptly lept over the cliff and made a giant mud splash just seconds later, drenching her mother in anot her layer of the substsnce. While the filly smiled up at her, Starlight could only scrunchave her eyebrows horizontally as one solitary pig got the bright idea of licking her cheek.


Starlight closed the door behind her and stared down at Aqua, a towel wrapped around her hair and another wrapped from her chest to her hind legs. The filly still looked like a ball of mud, and the unicorn was certain that her own hair still had flecks of mud in it. She inhaled and finally unloaded her edited lecture on her. "Aqua, why did you touch that woodblock?"


I already told you! You said I couldn't touch--

"I know what I said." Starlight spoke between gritted teeth, and Aqua shrank a little under her glare. "You still shouldn't have touched anything near the cart. Ponies could have been hurt by that cart today, Aqua. All because you pulled that wood block out."

The filly shrank even more, a huge frown evident on her tiny muzzle. I...I'm sorry, Mom.

"*sigh*...I know you are, Sweetie. But you have to be more careful when you do things." Starlight's glare eventually softened on her. "I don't want you or anypony else getting hurt...Now, why don't you take a bath?"

Aqua tilted her head adorably, and then trotted into the bathroom. What's a bath?

After a few seconds of silence, Starlight suddenly smiled. "Oh, you've never had a bath before? Well, you should've. It's fun...It's just like what you did in the mud pool but with water this time."

That doesn't sound very fun. Aqua voiced her opinion and stood on the toilet seat to peer into the bathtub. And wasn't the mud pool bigger than this?

"Yes, but that doesn't matter! This one has bubbles! Here..." Starlight turned the water on to lukewarm with her magic and levitated a tiny bit of body wash into the rushing flow of water. A small hill of bubbles began to rise and fill the tub with small fields of bubbles, much to Aqua's delight. "See? Bubbles!"

Wow! It's so clean!

"That's the point, Sweetheart...Feel free to make as many bubbles as you like! I'll finish our cupcakes in the meantime." Starlight recieved a few nods, and she politely closed the door. Her smile crumbled immediately. "*sigh*..."

While she prepared the cupcakes, Starlight couldn't help but notice that she was still slightly upset with her daughter. She couldn't fathom why she'd taken something from the cart against her orders, wether above or below it. Now Starlight would be well known for the rest of the week, for being pushed into a pool of mud by a cart. It was pure luck that the cart owner wasn't at all mad when she brought it back up the hill to him, although it was probably because they'd made his cart popular by now. The unicorn eventually reminded herself as she placed the cupcakes in the oven, that Aqua was still a filly. Fillies did things they couldn't help, because they were young. She trotted back up the stairs to check on Aqua, immediately noticed that the crystal floor was...damp. Starlight frowned but didn't think much of it...at least until she knocked on the door to the restroom. "Hey! Mind if I come in?"

Yes! I mean no! Come in!

Starlight shrieked when she opened the door.

A giant wall of bubbles stood there waiting just for her, some tiny and some almost as large as her own head. The floor was like the lowest level of a swimming pool or the ground when it rained just slightly. The bubble wall seemed to be growing all the more as she stared in shock at it, so she started to walk through it blindly, her eyes closed to keep from having any bubbles pop in them. Once one of her forelegs collided with the rim of the bathtub, she used her magic to levitate to the ceiling. Somehow defying certain laws, Aqua Sprinkle was sitting on top of the bubble wall, holding her signature smile and all.

Hi mom! I liked it at first, but I don't like baths at all now. Aqua shrugged apologetically. I guess you can take this bath for me...how are those cupcakes by the way?

Starlight inhaled.

Author's Note:

Hope you enjoyed this land of mishaps and...Aqua sprinkle. I had to look over a few Starlight moment videos and then a few baby dory videos for Aqua's part in this page.

On a side note...er...28 pranks later was funny. Dungeons and Discord will be epic!