A Short Day at The Stand.

by DONFer17

Does She Like Flowers?

"Good Morning Green Hoof!", said the mint green mare named Lyra Heartstrings to her neighbor Green Hoof who just came out of his house.

"Oh, good morning Lyra." He replies waving the hoof at his neighbor, and closes his door. Lyra then continued practicing by playing her lyre as Green Hoof trots off to his work stand. He sells roots like carrots, potatoes, sweet potatoes, ginger, etc. His cutie mark is a green root the shines below some leaves. Not many ponies get attention from dusty shiny things that come from the ground, and this gave him problems to find a marefriend.

"Butterflies... That is what I see on her Flank, and I feel them in my stomach also", Green Hoof whispered to himself while blushing. "Does she like flowers? She is so shy, and I don't want to give her something that will make her avoid me... What to do?", He said, paused, and thought for a moment then talked to himself again, "I don't even know her name, and she always comes to my stand to buy carrots for her bunny named... er... Angel. This is ridiculous she tells me her bunny's name, but she does not tell me hers, sigh. Maybe I am not her type...", He told himself. He the arrives to his stand at the market, and takes all of the food from his storage house, where his roots are near the stand to display them.

He stays there selling his food for some hours now, and then he notices that at this time the shy mare comes to buy at his stand. He then realizes that she is at the stand next to him, and thinks to himself "Maybe I will get the chance to know her name today. Maybe I'll get to know her more. Maybe I am actually her type... Maybe".

The mare thanks the owner of the near stand, and trots towards Green hoof's stand, and Angel walks besides her. When she stops, and looks for Green hoof, he skips a beat, and starts tensing. He tries to keep her cool when she looks to the side, and slowly turns her eyes towards him. "Um, excuse me, but if you don't mind me asking... um, D-do you have some carrots that I can buy for my Angel? You see, Angel here needs to eat a lot for him to grow healthy and happy", she says smiling, and as softy as her personality allows her too, which is hard to hear. "S-sure ma'am", he responded also in a low tone so that he does not intimidate her, because he will ask her the question that he wanted the answer to all day. Green Hoof already knows her usual daily carrot order, even if he did not hear her enough. He takes a two carrots from his stand, and gently places them on a table. " That will be a single bit, as always".

"Thank you", she said as she took a bit from her bag she was carrying. She grabs the carrots, and gives one to angel, who immediately starts eating it. Fluttershy smiles at Angel, and then decides to go home, but Green Hoof interrupts he with a question. "Excuse me.... um.... Miss?", he asks her.

"I-is there something w-wrong?", Fluttershy asks worried.

"Oh nothing is wrong, but can I ask you a Question?", he says, and Fluttershy Slowly nods, but Angel stops eating, and starts being suspicious of the stallion. "May I ask for you name? My name is Green Hoof just in case y-you wanted to know... haha..", he laughs nervously.

"My name? Its... Fluttershy", she replied, and trotted off soon after. This was great for Green Hoof, he finally knew her name. He was so excited, and just like that his day at work was over. He happily skips away after closing his stand, and walks home, expecting tomorrow to give a flower to Fluttershy or a compliment, or maybe just small talk. 'Yeah I think I will only make small talk, I need to make things go slow for her... she is so gentle, and I don't want to hurt her feelings', he thought. He was about to arrive at her home not caring about the world around him. Then he then pops a green mare to his day dream cloud when he hears her neighbor talk to him.

"Hi Green hoof, I couldn't help but notice your excitement there.", Lyra Heartstrings stated.

"Its that noticeable, huh?", Green Hoof asked.

"So... tell me, who is the the lucky mare?", she asked curiously with a big smile.

"Why would you ask that question? you don't even know if I met somepony", he says.

"Well, let's just say that I know when somepony feels in love under the clouds of blush", she responded.

"Oops, guess I can't control my face then.. haha", he nervously spoke. "Well, its... her name is Fluttershy... That's a beautiful name, isn't it?", he said, and turned to Lyra to see her mouth open in shock.

"You mean to say, that you fell for a pony of the elements of harmony?"

"The what? You mean that she is one of them?!"

"You didn't know? Have you been living under a gem-filled rock or something? They all live here in ponyville!"

"I-I was asleep the day Nightmare moon took over the night for drinking to much cider, and the day Discord came to change everything, I was travelling to visit my Family at Manehattan! I did not know she was an element... I need to sometime alone...", Green hoof says and quickly goes in his house. He closes his door, and slowly walks to his room. 'I did not know she was an element! Why didn't I know?'. He then goes to his bed and climbs it. 'I-I can't be her type... she is too famous for a little carrot selling pony... but, why does she have to be so pretty?'. He tried to go to sleep but couldn't he was still thinking of which flower Fluttershy might like. 'I just can't'.

The next day, Fluttershy was at the stand where Green Hoof worked at, he looked tired, and he did nothing more than to give the carrots to her. He only looked at her, with his tired eyes.

'I can't take your butterflies out'.

Comments

[DONFer17]

Hey guys, tell me what you think. I appreciate all comments. Also, If there are grammar mistakes, please tell me, English is not my first language.

[Green_Hooves]

I just had to comment on this as soon as I saw his name.

I suppose you can see why

[JohannSebastianBach]

Some corrections:

"Good Morning Green Hoof!", (Add a comma here) said the mint green [...]
shines below some leafs -> The plural of "leaf" is "leaves".
Not many ponies are attracted to his cutie mark -> Attracted? I don't like that verb. Also, replace "cutie mark" with "it", so that you remove the repetition.
"but she does not tell me her's, sigh" -> Replace with "hers".
"Hi Green hoof, I couldn't help but noticed your excitement there." -> Replace with "notice".
"under a gem filled rock" -> Replace with "gem-filled"
"Its that noticeable huh?" -> OMG. Replace with "Is it that noticeable, huh?"
You mean that she is one of them???" -> Cheesy. Use just one, or replace it with "?!"
"Green hoof says and quickly walks in his house. He closes his door, and slowly walks to his room." -> Since you use "walk" twice, why don't you replace "quickly walks" with "runs", or "trots"?
"she is to famous" -> Replace wih "too".

The story's not bad. Work on it more, delve deeper into the feelings. Don't just write what they do, add more details. And why he just gave up all the hopes, all of a sudden? We need a motivation.

[benxlabs]

GAAAAH! Pony maker image! My eyes! They burn! JK the story is ok, but some grammar and spelling fixes wouldn't hurt. But seriously, replace the picture.

[DONFer17]

784115 Hey mister, Mister, um I know a pony with a similar name to yours, but instead of hooves its hoof. Maybe trolestia had to do something about this.
784417 I'll get right on that.... hmm dat Cherille face.

784440 Is the anatomy? Color? What is wrong with the picture?

[benxlabs]

785148Well, it's not completely horrible, but...I'm just warning you. Having a pony-maker image as a cover image will attract rate bombers to your story like moths to a fire. Also, that tail doesn't go with that hairstyle AT ALL. if you pay attention to the ponies in MLP:FiM, the colors are very specific. They don't have any dark colors. The only person who actuall has a dark-ish color is Nightmare Moon. Twilight may have a dark purple hair, but her body is still a light violet. Your pony's color is a bit too dark for it to fit into the light optimistic background. Just saying.

[DONFer17]

789103 Guess my OC is also to dark?

[benxlabs]

789155You mean your avatar? Well...hmm...the hair is a bit off, but I think the body color is ok. It looks pastel-colored enough. How to make a pony's colors look good is a very hard thing to do. I believe your body color is good, but your OC's hair needs a certain degree of fixing.