Tap. Tap. Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
It all had started with those three little noises. Sunny Glade, a young mare out on her own now, had not taken the noises as much more then some tapping in the night on her front door. It was probably just some critter that was trying to get in, so she had left some bowls of food and water out for, whatever the little creature was.
It didn't work. Every night she would once again hear the tapping. She was a light sleeper, and her ears deathly sharp on picking up sound, a skill she had gained in her career as a musician. She could literally hear a pin drop.
The next night, she decided to confront whatever it was, and as soon as she heard the tapping, she grabbed up her flashlight and stormed down and threw the door open.
Nopony was out there. And no matter how hard she looked, she didn't see any traces of anypony in the vicinity. Even the bowls she had left out were untouched. The only thing she could see, was a slight indent in the wood of her door, where something pointed had been poking at it.
Sunny Glade huffed, and suspected that the culprit was some late night prankster, or drunk with a mean sense of humor. She decided to make a call to the guards in the morning.
But as she had closed the door, the tapping started again. Sunny Glade threw open the door, and again was met with nothing. For a few moments, Sunny felt scared. She quickly went back inside, and locked the door and used the chain lock as well. She was sure that whoever was bothering her was a harmless prankster, but she still felt a little safer with the extra lock on.
She was a single mare out on her own in an unfamiliar town she had just moved into. It would not be uncommon that she might attract the attention of a stallion with ill intentions on her person. She made a firm mental note, to call the guards in the morning about this.
She went back to sleep soon after, but slept lightly and with her can of pepper spray on her nightstand.
The next day, she had called the guard before going to work. Her band had practice for a concert in a few days, and Sunny had to be ready for it. She couldn't let the events of last night ruin her mood or her skill. When she had returned home that afternoon, she smiled at the sight of two guards doing an extra patrol in her area of town.
She gave the two guards a wave, and they to her. Sunny went into her house, feeling confident that the tapping would stop.
After dinner, and a warm romance novel with a particularly heated engagement between the two protagonists that left Sunny blushing, she had slipped into blissful sleep, content that tonight she would finally have peace and quiet.
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
Sunny gasped, her eyes shooting open and she bolted up in her bed.
It was that sound again. Sunny got out of bed, and listened, hoping to hear a scuffle, or the guards putting the cuffs on whatever sick bastard was tormenting her.
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
That was all she heard. Again and again, in a sequence of rhythm. Sunny sucked in a breath, and slowly made her way downstairs. The tapping noise, kept up and seemed to get louder with each step she took.
As she drew close to the door, the taping stopped.
Sunny held her breath, and waited. And waited.
She must have waited for several minutes, before smiling and figuring that the culprit was finally gone.
Scratch.
Scratch.
Scratch.
The sound of nails or claws, racking against her door, made Sunny jump and look at her door. She rushed and threw open the door, and once more saw nothing outside. Her eyes slowly looked to her door now, and she felt her heart grow still and chill run up her spine.
Three long scratch marks, drew down her door, just under the tapping mark. But worse, as Sunny shined her light on the marks, saw the faint red glow of blood, mixed into the wood on her door. She looked outside, and saw no sign of the guards.
Sunny didn't want to jump to any conclusions. Maybe they were chasing whoever was behind this...this sick joke.
Scratch.
Scratch.
Scratch.
Sunny froze, hearing the scratching noise. This time from the trees not far from her home, leading into the local wildlife park. It was hard to see in the dark, and her flashlight's beam did not extend far. But she could hear the scratching.
Then the tapping.
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
Sunny quickly slammed the door and locked it. She sucked in a breath, and covered her ears.
Why? Why? Who would be doing this too her? She had never done anything wrong to anypony. What reason did they have to do this to her? Was it a sick game? And where were the guards? Was it some sort of animal?
Sunny's thoughts bothered her so much, that she nearly leapt out of her skin when she heard the tapping noise once more.
At her door. Sunny looked at the door, before quickly running upstairs to her room and slamming and locking the door. She threw herself under her covers, and threw her pillow over her ears. She hoped, prayed, that it would muffle the noise.
Tap.
Scratch.
Tap.
Scratch.
Sunny didn't get any sleep that night.
The following day, tired and exhausted, Sunny went down to the guard house, hoping to demand an explanation. When she arrived, she saw that all the guards were busy, and when she came up to the desk, the pony there took her down to the captains office.
She asked why she was brought down there. And wished she hadn't.
The two guards that had been sent to patrol her neighborhood, had been found just outside of town at the edge of the woods. Their bodies were hanging from the trees, mutilated as if something had torn them apart. The autopsy was still in the works, but whatever had killed them must have done it swiftly and instantly.
The captain asked her, if she knew of anything that could help the investigation, though Sunny felt he wondered if she was behind it. She told the captain everything about the past few nights. The captain hummed, rubbing his cheek.
"Thank you. That will be all." He had said, before letting Sunny leave.
Sunny left the guard house, feeling disturbed and sick. More so, she felt worried.
What had killed the guards? Was it whatever was tapping at her door?
Sunny felt a chill later that evening, and she practically ran home after practice and locked all of her doors and windows. She held tightly to a bat she had in the closet, wishing she had the bits for a spellgun.
She then waited.
An hour passed, before finally she heard it.
Tap.
Tap.
Scratch.
Sunny sucked a breath, but slowly tiptoed down the stairs to her door. Her brain was telling her to run and hide, but Sunny was sick of running and hiding. She was tired. Exhausted. Terrified even. If this was some sort of animal, she wanted it gone. She wanted her life back. She wanted peace and quiet.
Yet if whatever was out there was dangerous, she did not want to go rushing out. So, slowly and with held breath, Sunnny stood up on her hind legs and peeked through the door's spyglass hole, and tried to see if she could catch a glimpse of whatever was out there.
What she saw, sent a chill up her spine and nearly had her recoil in fright.
There, outside her door, stood a tall, lanky figure. It was shrouded in the night, but Sunny was sure she could make out pale, almost stretched like skin on thin, almost bone like body. The creature, whatever it was, sat crouched on its long, spindly limbs that folded backwards. It's front legs, acted more like a minotaurs arms, and were folded up to allow its long, thin pointed claws to tap at the wood on her door.
It's head was round and oval shaped, with no signs of ears, and with no hair at all. In fact, the entire creatures body was hairless and had no sign of if it was male or female. It just sat there, tapping at her door.
Sunny watched with a sense of terror building at this creature. She held her breath, afraid that any movement or breathing would alert it to her presence.
Tap.
Tap.
Scratch.
The creature went on with its pattern, before its head slowly moved to stare up at her door. Sunny fought back a scream, as she looked at the oval shaped head, with nothing more then two big red eyes with no distinct iris. No nose. Not even a mouth that she could see.
The way creature stared at the door...it was almost as if it was staring at her through the spyglass. Sunny could only stare back.
Slowly, the creature then lifted its claw from the door and began tapping on the outside portion of the doors spyglass hole. Sunny screamed, falling back with a thud and she moved away from the door.
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
It knew.
It knew she was in here. It knew she had been looking at it.
Sunny began to hyperventilate. Rushing into her living room, she grabbed her couch and with strength she didn't know she had, pushed it against the door to act as a barrier and rushed up back to her room. She did the same with her bed, pushing it against the door.
She didn't sleep that night either, only sat in a corner of her room, watching the window and the door. Listening to the tapping at her door. Sunny began to cry, begging for it all to stop. Praying to whatever higher power there was to deliver her from this nightmare.
The tapping eventually stopped, but Sunny still did not move. She just listened and watched. As she looked to her bedroom door, the sound of glass being tapped against, brought her attention to her window.
Sunny screamed again, as she saw the sillouted form of a long spindly claw like appendage, and an oval shaped head, crawling up her house wall and tapping at her window. The creature, stared at her, silent and constantly tapping.
Sunny screamed, and threw herself into the closet. She stayed awake all night, clutching her bat tightly.
When the sun finally rose that morning, the creature was gone. But it had left deeper marks into her door, and scratches on her window.
Sunny cried that day, and she didn't go to practice. She had to leave. She had to get out! To get away from this town. Get away from this creature!
But she couldn't. She had spent so much money on this home. Her savings were low, and she didn't have the bits to buy a new house, much less an apartment in the city. And even if she could sell her house, who would buy it? What did she say about the door? And the dead guards was already causing some houses that had once been pending for ponies to move in to go back on the market again once word of the murder had spread into the news.
She was trapped in here. In this house. This town.
And Sunny felt that creature knew it.
For days after, Sunny didn't sleep a wink. Her music practice faltered, and she was cut from the band. Every night, the creature would return to tap at her door, or scratch at it. It never went to the window again, just her door. Still she had nailed the window covered with boards, just to be sure.
Sunny tried to ignore the sounds, but always she could hear it in her head.
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
Like a constant companion it was. Haunting her mind and driving her crazy.
Sunny felt that she was going to lose her mind, when one day she heard something, when she had peeked outside her bedroom door to stare down the stairs to her front door.
Click
In the dark, she barely made out the slender dark shape of a claw like appendage, thin and spindly, worming its way through her door. It must have made a hole in her door with its constant poking, and now its finger could slide into her home. Sunny watched with horror as the claw moved like a snake, its multi-jointed points moving to flick at the lock on her door, and push away the chain. The door slowly sliding open, and the creature crawling in on all fours.
Sunny slammed her bedroom door shut, locked it and threw her bed once more against the door. then her nightstand and covered herself in her blankets in a corner and hid under them.
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
The sound began again, this time on her bedroom door.
It's been about a week now. Sunny is tired. Exhausted. Her health is terrible, and she can barely focus now. She hasn't left her house in days, fearful to even leave her room even during the day. Every night, the tapping noise would come back, with scratching in between each tap.
Tap.
Scratch.
Tap.
Scratch.
Sunny sucked in a breath at the pause of the noise. And fear gripped her heart as she heard it.
Click.
It unlocked her door. The door opens, bumping against her bed.
Bam.
Bam.
Bam.
The creature slams the door against the bed, each time moving it until there is a tiny gap in the door. Sunny watches in horror, as the thin creature slowly crawls through the gap, its oval shaped head squeezing through the gap and it crawls around the bed. Sunny turns, and hides herself under the covers, looking away.
She can hear it move.
It's right next to her.
She can feel its breath. She can feel its spindly claws drag themselves across the covers on her body, making slight ripping sounds against the fabric.
Then a noise sounds against her wall, just above her head.
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
Sunny began to cry, not sure what to do. This creature, standing just inches from her. Tormenting her with that infernal noise. It never once stopped, even as she cried.
Sunny couldn't take it anymore. That noise. That noise! That horrible noise!
Bam.
Bam.
Bam.
Sunny began to hit her head against her wall. Trying to drown out the tapping noise.
She kept going all through the night. Her head and the creatures claw, moving in sync with each other.
Tap.
Bam.
Tap.
Bam.
Tap.
Bam.
Sunny stared at the white walls of her new room. The light was bright, but her room was comfy and soft.
She tried to move, but found her limbs restrained in her new coat.
She couldn't quiet remember how she got here. It was all so very fuzzy.
The guards had shown up on her house. Apparently alerted by something. They had taken Sunny away from her home, and brought her down to the hospital.
D-Doctors. Yes there had been doctors.
Apparently she couldn't go home. She was sick they said.
They were very nice though. They gave her a new jacket to wear all the time, and even gave her this lovely room. She was even part of a new community. They ponies were nice to her, and very cheerful. Some would always burst into laughter for no reason at all.
Yes. It was a fine community. And the room.
Sunny loved her new room. It was so peaceful. So quiet. And the walls. So very soft. Almost like snow.
Sunny liked the walls. They didn't hurt her head as much. Slowly, Sunny tilted side to side in her new room, humming to herself a little tune. Enjoying the soft press of her walls against her head every few seconds.
She thought also, she could hear something at her door.
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
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Good lord, that was horrifying ;o;
7337593
Really? Was it scary? I never did a horror fic before.
7337708
If it was your first, then that was a good one. Could've lived without the Mental Hospital ending, though. I am sometimes easily scared (not all the time, though), so perhaps you should take criticism from some one else. Maybe you could go to a story editor? Certainly would be a better judge than me. (Though, I think they would think it was good, too)
7337815
My first. I also did another one just after this one. What Lurks in the Fog. Its got a more darker ending.
7337850
I'll be sure to read it!
Let me guess: it was a cat that would follow her everywhere it could go to as well.
orig14.deviantart.net/cf27/f/2015/312/2/1/awe_by_tiredbrony-d9g137e.gif
I was definitly creeped out by that. I enjoyed how you made the story progress. And since it's your first, all the better
Also, I liked the idea of the ending, and have some kind of theory:
Ending in the mental hospital, it allows us to see that Sunny is potentially driven to insanity towards the end. But what if what we read was what her thoughts were telling her, while she was the one tapping and scratching. To cover the illusion, she had some figure created in her mind to make her think it wasn't her. It would explain why there were markings on the wall, and why she became tired eventually...
Either that, or there was a psycho human after her, and wants her dead.
Otherwise, I enjoyed reading it. Will there be some kind of sequal to this?
Kudos.
That thing reminds me of a mental construct thrall of Ilos. Used to terrify and wear down the sanity of a mind by projecting their deep seated fears by constantly playing with them to appease their master and his insatiable lust for control over the victim's sense of morals and sanity.
The Russian Sleep Experiment (a creepypasta) is one of the stories that show his methods and intentions for the mind.
When one should fall asleep they put off the abhorrent darkness and insanity that is organic life, if only for a few more hours. But in the end, he claims the weakest first and savours the willed even longer.
7347932
Mental construct thrall whats that? Is that from a book?
7348492
Ok a mental construct is kind of like creating a castle in a dream when one is having nightmares. The castle can be for good, to protect you from the nightmares that lurking the shadows, or they can be for ill where they are a part of the nightmare itself.
A thrall is literally a mind wiped creature that is given tasks to accomplish with their own mind long since snuffed out by the one controlling them, a toy to be created or taken over then used and discarded.
Now, think of a castle in your mind that is staffed by these constructed thralls. Ones that you have no ability to actually control as they were only created for a single purpose.
their time is based on what your mind required at the time and set them to move in their predetermined ways at precise moments.
All is good right? You can continue to enjoy or hate the situation without even realizing that it's a dream or nightmare until you wake up.
What if you don't control the thralls? That just makes it terrifying to have something in your most intimate moments look at you with rage and a burning hatred when they were supposed to be doing something completely different.
Now think about that same thrall that you knew was made up was actually knocking on your door saying things they couldn't have possibly known about you unless they were in your mind.
They become mental constructs based on the victim's ability to recognise when something is wrong and the particular entity that is interested in them, they are thralls as they almost always have little to no agenda of their own as they are but puppets with a limited range of life that can be yanked away or extended by the same malevolent entity that created them from bits and scraps of whatever it cares to remember.
7348492
In short, it is a way for dreams to seem convincing and nightmares to seem scarier, but like mental creatures do, they are made to reflect the type of creature that created them at their most primal level.
I'm really enjoying your horror stories. I hope you'll continue to write more of these.
This is decent.
I did a video on this if you would like to watch it
A-Freakin-Mazing!!!
That's some scary shit man...
But it's an absolutely amazing story.
8225868
It's good, but the high pitched voice sounds weird coming through whatever mic you're using. Great intro though, if a bit long.
8406594
Thank you and i have changed my cheep mic out since then so it is a bit better now
will be doing reading of this today and it will be awesome
Wow, this sounds like something right out of Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark.
Sweet and Creepy
Hi, I'm looking for stories to read this October and was wondering if you would mind if I did a narration of this one? It's really good and gave me the chills.
Wow, I’ve come to the conclusion she was schizophrenic, and also suffered from blackouts, which is why she didn’t remember doing whatever she had to the guards. As for the marks and tapping, the marks didn’t exist, hence why the heavier guard patrols never noticed over a week that her door was falling apart more each night and only at night before giving way completely and opening when they weren’t there at night. The tapping and scratching where auditory hallucinations in time with the creature her brain had produced. when the guard realized what was going on with her they began monitoring her house for one night to be absolutely sure, that same night her bedroom door “gave way”, and the guards heard a loud banging. They headed in only to find her sitting on her bed bashing her head into the wall, muttering to herself, about wanting the tapping to stop. She is still hearing the tapping later on because the creature is in her head thus it was technically in the asylum with her, and why it never got caught sneaking in to the high security location. The straight jack would do nothing for her head banging, probably to prevent her harm someone if she has one of her violent blackouts.
I feel so sorry for the mare.
but great horror.
This is what "new ground" looks like for you? My dude, you need to try more genres to see what others ones you're naturally skilled at! This story was great - it definitely gave me chills, and I loved the ending! It's definitely got the feeling of an old horror novel compressed into a short story. Good job, and know that I'll be looking forward to reading what you come up with next!~
9763253
That's actually really good description what's going on and it's totally a reasonable conclusion they need to give her a helmet though