When a young Alicorn is found in Canterlot, the Princesses decide to raise it. Suprisingly, this proves to be a much harder task than originally expected from a surprising young Alicorn. (Has an OC Alicorn. If that's not your cup of tea, this story might not be for you)
Note: First story EVER! So feel free to give criticism in the comments. Or tell me if you like it! Any thoughts are appreciated.
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Next chapter should be coming up soon (next 24 hours?)! Share what you think here!
Oh boy, people hate OC alicorns huh? Don't worry here is a thumb up, it was well written for a first story
It's good. Make sure you get an editor just in case but nice beginning.
Not too bad for your first story. But, there are certain spots where you can change a comma to a period. The part where Applejack said "Ah think Pinkie had th' ah-dea t' visit th' shops before coming here", it was a bit hard to understand at first (for me that is), so perhaps keep some of the words normal, like Idea instead of ah-dea. Besides those, good job.
781122 Thanks! I'll try to make the next chapter more understandable
Celestia says that she found luna at that age, does that mean you are going with a new approach with an adopted luna?
781141 Sorta. I think it will be explained more in the next chapter. I'll try to wrap it up and post it in a few hours.
781140
Your welcome. In the upcoming chapters, If I (or anyone else reading for that matter) catches a spelling mistake or anything else like it, we'll let you know. Also what Wolfe15 mentioned, try to find yourself an editor before posting, they will catch anything and help you with it before posting.
Hold up!Hold up!Celestia would you run that by me agian?You FOUND luna?GASP.THEY ARNT SISTERS.
781169 Will do!
781173 now now, just because they aren't biologically related doesn't mean they can't be sisters
This as much promise. Keep it up.,
I would prefer if the story took place in Tel Aviv.
Not hating. But a piece of advice, don't make Alicorn OC's. The community hates them.
781436 I'll keep in mind for the next fic I write. I was unaware of this
781486 I wrote an alicorn OC fic a while back, didn't go well :P
While extra alicorns (OC extra alicorns of all things) are looked down upon with scorn, I'm actually interested in this. Time to see if it's a gem or a plastic diamond
Please move the setting of the story to Israel.
uhhhhhh the pic has a young filly not colt
781835 I blame my artist. He's terrible.
781934 actually its quite simple really all you need to do is go into pony creator GET RID OF EYELASHES AND FIKING MARE MOUTH! then save to blank background and in a editor bring a pic of celestia in it and that is it!
Why are you not answering me?
Can you at least provide a Hebrew translation.
782006 Sorry mate! I only speak English so a Hebrew translation would difficult.
781957 images.sodahead.com/polls/001410637/okay_face_answer_2_small.jpeg
782093 y sad?
782218 This is probably delaying the next chapter is all :P. I'm not very good at this.
782218 There ya are. Hopefully I did it right
there is one tiny detail but i think foals do have that type of mouth even colts
782608
Woohoo!
MOARRRRRRRRR
783545 I'm givin her all shes got cap'n!
But really though hopefully II'll add the next chapter in a day or 2.
Heh, I like the comedy so far. I love seeing the princesses be sisters and just tease the crap out of each other. I look forward to this.
humm this sounds a little bit like my story
790719 What story? I'll make a note to read it later
791109 my story Dreams Do Come True but i like where your is heading
Cool I love the idea
Took me awhile to get this chapter done, and even then it is already shorter than the other 2. Still I've already started on the next chapter. My editor mocked my Zebraic, but I changed it a little so hopefully you aren't too upset by it. Also maybe you have an idea of where I'm going at least a little bit (but that would make one of us
)
Overall, I liked this Chapter, and think I could have the next chapter out by tomorrow. Leave your thoughts here!
Le GASP! Do I detect a Applebloom/Tate pairing coming up, or will it merely be a simple, yet powerful friendship?
I said it before, and I'll say it again. I love seeing the Princesses act like actual sisters to each other. I brings a happy and giddy smile to my face.
Apple bloom and tate sitting in a tree kissing!!!
800506
800503 Your happy and giddy smile brings a happy and giddy smile to my face
800546*GASP*, Pinkie must be nearby. I guess they didn't get around to fixing that fourth wall in time.
poor celestia
Hooray for a new chapter!
As always, share you thoughts here.
805889........You made discord stab tate didnt you?......
806138 No worries, Tate will be just fine. For the most part anyways.
806103 Who needs Celestia and Luna anyways? Tate has got the doctor!
The doctor will be happy to find another time pony or ethereal be mad right?
I liked this chapter, but got a bit let down by the Zebraic language. I though it would be the one Zecora chanted while making the Poison Joke cure -- silly me