Laichonious Raposo and the Quest for Nutella

by Laichonious the Grey

A Hop, Skip and a Jump, Right Over the Edge

Laichonious trotted down the lanes of Ponyville’s fair views
A particular pink pony, he was out to pursue
His thoughts seemed to rhyme, as it were
This not in the least a non-sequitur

The ponies, they pranced and danced with glee
But they were all missing out, you see
For he knew of a treat
So delicious and sweet
That the thought of them not in the know,
Brought his spirits down low

But if any hope in Equestria were to be had
He hadn’t the time to be sad
Alone, he knew that he would never succeed
Unless he had with him, a pony of a special breed

And so with haste, he made his way
Through the bustle of that important day
A saddle bag slung on his back
A precious cargo rested in that sack
It was his only means to impress the pony of pink
So that she might help him with nary a blink

There it was, the famed portal of wonder
Simply known as Sugar Cube Corner
Through the door he pushed, taking in the sweet scent
Of bread and pastries, ginger and peppermint

Behind the counter, a nice mare greeted him
Nopony would think of her thin
“Where is Pinkie Pie?” he inquired
“In the kitchen, dear. Perhaps in dough her hooves are mired.”
The perplexed expression of Mrs. Cake that caused her to spill some glaze
Was no doubt in relation to the strange turn of phrase

With the tip of an imaginary hat
Laichonious entered the kitchen to find her doing just that
“Pinkie! Just the pony I needed to see!”
“Huh? You mean me?”

With a flourish and a bow, he laid down his pack
For now was to begin the important act
At the rhyming, she didn’t blink
This sort of thing happens more often than you would think
How great it was to live in the land of ponies
Where one could sing to the music of phantom symphonies

Now, Pinkie, my dear, I cannot express my delight
That you are the one
Who understands fun
And brings such great pastries to light

Well, I think it is nice that you enjoy my cake, but first let me get some things straight
It's of utmost importance
The song that we sing
Is something that's funny and great!

Funny, great, you bet!
I have something so wondrous and tasty that you won’t belive

Well try me my friend, you may be surprised, after all, I’m me

Good! I hope you’re ready
Something tasty, greatsy and sweet as could be

Tasty, greatsy? I’m not sure what you mean

Pinkie, have faith
You see, I will bet you
That what I have here is sure to impress you

Really, this might just blow your shoes off.
Hehe! Why not my socks?
Pinkie, you so random.
Chondrichthyes!

You have so many wonderful breads, I just can’t decide
Do you prefer wheat or rye?
That’s what caught my eye

Does it matter? I just want to try!
Maybe not, but I don’t have a lot of this stuff so we kind of have to make it count.
Just gimme!

Wait! There is some bread here
That’s nice and warm and thick
How ‘bout I spread some on here and make it quick?

Oh wow!
Told ya.

Now can’t you just see, the smiles it’ll bring?
If we could share with everypony?

Mmmm is there more I can have?
That’s what I’m here to do, Pinkie
OoooOOOooh!

Laichy, pal, I understand now
I need to learn how to make this stuff
It’s delicious and so creamy
With a taste that defies gravity

Isn’t it great?
And how!

There are several things that I hope won’t be too hard to find
Like some big hazelnuts and cocoa beans that we can grind

Uh-huh, I’m with ya.

Let me see, we’ll need lots of milk and something to blend
We might even need a big copper or a brass vat
Expert timing and great skill
We can not a drop spill
And perhaps even a few more hooves could help us out with that

I can’t wait to get started! But that is a lot of stuff to get.

So much to do, but it will all be worth it

I knew you would see it like that.

The vat will be tricky, but Bon-bon will know what to do
Zecora knows about the exotic plants

Yeah, we might need more than a few

Oooh I’m so excited, what about you?
A party! That’s it! That’s always the way
To get help with a big quest
Have our friends get ready to have their heads explode
To make this spread the very best

Don’t forget volume, that should be considered

Yeah, we’ll need sugar not to make it bitter

This will be the best thing ever

I think so too
This will be the best, let’s find the rest

So a fun quest we will see
And you can be sure this isn’t a jest
How fun it will be
Let the Quest begin

And then we’ll all dig in!

And so with grins that could split a face
The fast friends trotted from the sweet-smelling place
With gusto and much zeal
They ran about the town with their appeal

In no time at all, they had a sizable force
Who were eager to taste the wonder of course
The day dragged on but their efforts would soon yeild
The creamy concoction sure to make them squeal
By the magic of stories, long to short
Twilight Sparkle included this in her report

“Dear Princess of the sun,
Today I had delightful fun
Pinkie and her new friend made today a treat
But they seem to have achieved a mighty feat
For all throughout town, not a soul can be heard
Without somehow rhyming every word
It’s silly, let me tell ya
But you really need to try this ‘Nutella’”

And so, my friends
My little story ends
Do not be alarmed for my sanity
It is only as lost as my vanity

So make of this what you will
Laugh until you have your fill
Or rage if you like
But I have another story to write

Comments

[Khangle]

So this is what you meant...

[Thardoc]

my barnums are prepared, don't try anything funny.

[TMH]

*Meanwhile in Nutella HQ*
It's all going as planned. Excellent... MHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

Carry On

[BronyNo.42]

I've nerver tried nuttella, and I'm not really a big fan of poems actually. I liked the premise of Pinkie Pie helping bring more sweetness into Equestria. If I got anything from this story it's an addition to my shopping list next time I go out to see what all the fuss is about(and might have got me thinking what I would bring to Equestria if I was there you know hypothetically). Thats my two bits now gimme more TGBM! You know... when its ready.

[shutaro]

Son, I'm dissapoint.
No really, that was totally underwhelming.

[Laichonious the Grey]

779417
You have no idea how much I lol at you taking this seriously.

TGBM AWAAAAAAAAAAY!

[Retsamoreh]

As Laich's editor chief, I have to say I didn't edit this. Because he came to me with it at about 2 AM and told me to read it and tell me what I thought. Well, what he really said was:

[6/19/2012 1:51:44 PM] Laichonious Raposo: my mind is a diabolical hedge maze my friend
[6/19/2012 1:51:44 PM] Laichonious Raposo: [Link to our super secret Google-docs headquarters removed for secrecy's sake]
[6/19/2012 6:29:10 PM] Laichonious Raposo: What have I done?

But I knew what he meant.

Basically Laich is insane and you're all lucky I have to deal with him before you do, at least normally for things like TGBM. But no, this is the raw stuff that I dive into each time I edit. Helps that I'm almost as insane. But only almost.

- Box Overlord Rets

[shutaro]

779507
We live to please.

[Lesolan - Rest In Peace]

779620

I am so glad you primary edit and I just catch the bad grammar that slips through.

[Retsamoreh]

780897 Was that a jab at my editing skills?

that was low

[ThatFatBrony]

Ah ha ha ha ha... ha... I think you should check youtube.

[Lesolan - Rest In Peace]

782719
Really...
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw5323-fs-shitnoonecaresabout2.png

But in all seriousness, I don't have to do that much. If anything, it is Laichonious who should feel offended... His grammar can be HORRIBLE sometimes.

[Laichonious the Grey]

786685
My grammar... horrible...
img.ponibooru.org/_images/b376f6756dc80fb810c6e798a6e658ef/38192%20-%20animated%20crying%20fluttercry%20fluttershy.gif

[Lesolan - Rest In Peace]

786738

What is this? Laichonious AND Fluttershy crying...?
e621.net/data/3f/ba/3fba4b62a5feea71172162dfd9dbd6bc.png?1337944330

THIS IS DELICIOUS~!

[Laichonious the Grey]

784466
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mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2657-Oh_you.png

[ThatFatBrony]

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D:D :D :D :D I like it

[Petro]

I sang out loud. Did you?

[Retsamoreh]

You know I'm bored out of my skull when I actually decide to read this.

That time has come

[Laichonious the Grey]

1249521
Welcome to the insane club bra!