But You Can't Make Her Think
The sun slowly slid down the western horzion, signalling the end of another productive day's work at Sweet Apple Acres. It was a time for the three Apple siblings to come together from their individual labors, return to the farmhouse, enjoy the grandmother-crafted repast awaiting them...
“Nope.”
“But—“
“Nope.”
“If ya’d jus’ listen—“
“Nope!”
... and argue like Hooffields and McColts along the way.
Apple Bloom frowned up at her sister and huffed, “Yer soundin’ like Big Macintosh.”
“Eeyup,” said the authority on the subject.
Applejack scowled at her siblings. “Aw, hush, you two. I’m tellin’ ya, I ain’t got a problem.”
“You were up two hours before th’ roosters today an’ ya still barely finished yer mornin’ chores in time fer lunch.”
“Eeyup.”
Applejack gritted her teeth. “‘Cause I wanted ‘em done right!”
Apple Bloom snorted. “A few moons ago, you had ‘em licked in half that time!”
“Summer’s a busier season.”
“But—“
By this time, they'd reached the front porch. Applejack hopped onto it, looked down upon her sister, and said, “Apple Bloom, I am a farmer born, raised, and marked. I know what I’m doin’.”
Apple Bloom just stared at her a few seconds, eyes half-lidded. “Seriously?”
“I…" Applejack took a step back, eyes wide and expression aghast. "Shoot, I’m sorry, sugarcube. Got all riled up there." She stepped off the porch and knelt down, putting herself eye-to-eye with Apple Bloom. "Believe me, I am so very proud of you finally findin’ yer purpose and usin’ it to help other ponies. But you gotta understand that there’s a time and place fer yer special talent. It’s something everypony’s gotta learn after they get their cutie marks." Applejack smiled as she straightened, turning to her brother. "Why, jus’ after I came home from Manehattan, Big Mac had t’ drag me in from the orchard by th’ tail near ev'ry night. Remember, Mac?”
“Heh. Yup.” Big Mac’s fond smile shifted to a frown. “But Apple Bloom’s got a point, AJ.”
Applejack groaned. “Listen, the both o’ ya. Me an’ my cutie mark are gettin’ along jus’ fine. End o’ discussion.” With that, she turned and stomped her way into the house.
Apple Bloom fell onto her haunches, threw back her head, and cried, “She is impossible!”
Big Mac twirled the wheat stalk in his mouth as he thought. “Mmmaybe.”
“How d’ya mean?”
“Fer one Crusader, sure,” Mac said, grinning.
Apple Bloom quickly followed suit. “But not fer all of us.”
The next day, the other Crusaders considered Apple Bloom's explanation, complete with visual aids taped to the clubhouse walls.
“Huh," said Scootaloo. "I thought Applejack was better about asking for help.”
Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Sure, when she thinks there’s a problem. But she ain’t seein’ it, so far as she’s concerned, it ain’t there.” She scowled and folded her forelegs. “An’ she sure ain’t gonna listen t’ her baby sister or her overprotective big brother, an' Granny says it's Applejack's business.”
Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo exchanged an uneasy look, then turned back to Apple Bloom. Sweetie said, "Uh, did you ever think that you might be overreacting?"
Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow and leaned over her lectern. "How d'ya mean?"
Scootaloo looked away, her wings fidgeting. "Well, when we found you sulking in the dark, Sweetie and I were kinda worried you'd gone full-on Smarty Pants. You know, if you can't find a cutie mark problem..."
"Make a cutie mark problem," finished Sweetie. "And one way to do that is by thinking there's a problem where there isn't one."
"I'm not makin' this up!" Apple Bloom cried, slamming a hoof down.
Sweetie Belle held up her forehooves. "We're not saying you are! Just that Applejack may have developed a few bad habits without realizing it."
"Aw, who even does that?"
Scootaloo gave Apple Bloom a flat look. "First postmark meeting. You wanted us to try to get cutie marks in mountaintop square dancing."
"Oh. Right." Apple Bloom shook her head. "But this is the real thing! Just lookin' at Applejack makes my flanks tingle like I'm gettin' my mark all over again! C'mon, I'll show ya."
The Crusaders left the clubhouse and followed the faint, familiar sounds of hooves on bark and falling apples. At least, they tried to.
"It seems like she's taking a lot more time than usual to buck the trees," said Sweetie.
"Oh yeah. She is. You'll see." After that, a steady stream of low, angry grumbles crept out of Apple Bloom's throat until they found Applejack.
Everything seemed normal. The baskets were in place, the buck was solid, and the apples fell exactly where they were supposed to.
Scootaloo tilted her head. "So what—"
Apple Bloom gave a sharp shake of her head. "Shh!"
The Crusaders kept watching as Applejack eased one of the baskets onto her back, then started walking out of the orchard. They watched until she was out of earshot.
"Where's she going?" said Sweetie.
Apple Bloom turned to face them, looking resigned. "To the apple cellar. A wagon broke two weeks ago. We got it fixed a few days later, but Applejack's still bringin' in the Sunrises one basket at a time." She gave a nod as her friends both twitched. "An' now yer feelin' th' tingle. Still think I'm makin' this up?"
The others shook their heads. Scootaloo said, "So, how do we fix this if Applejack won't listen to her family?"
“What about her friends?” said Sweetie Belle.
Apple Bloom rubbed her chin. “That might work. You got somethin’ in mind?”
Sweetie nodded. “Rarity’s been trying to arrange some spa time with Applejack for moons now.”
“And with Wonderbolt training, Rainbow Dash will want her to have as much time as she can spare for hanging out together.” Scootaloo narrowed her eyes in determination. "Between the two of them, there's no way Applejack will be able to say no!"
“I dunno 'bout that, but it's th' best idea we got. But remember, if Applejack even thinks we set this up, she’s gonna plant her hooves an’ not budge an inch.” The other Crusaders nodded, and Apple Bloom cried, “Cutie Mark Crusader Sister Savers!”
Three hooves came together with a cry of “YEAH!”
Arranging time with Rarity was easy; she was happy to let Sweetie act as a sales assistant to practice her magic. As Sweetie consigned another hat to the discount bin, she asked, ”Have you been able to get in touch with Applejack since last time?”
Rarity sighed as she adjusted one of the display ponnequins. “Sadly, no. She’s still busy as ever. More so, really." After a moment, she turned to her sister. "Why do you ask?”
“Well…” Sweetie Belle looked around the otherwise unoccupied room, crept close, and stage whispered, ”You didn’t hear it from me, but Apple Bloom’s noticed it too.”
Rarity couldn’t help but grin at her little sister’s attempt at intrigue. “You don’t say?” Comprehension broke through the amusement. “Oh my. If Apple Bloom thinks it unusual, then it really must be. She’d know better than I would. I suppose I could lend a hoof.”
Sweetie flinched back. “Uh, you do remember what happened the last time you tried to help her, right?”
“How could I forget?" Rarity smiled as she shook her head. "Not to worry; there’s no stallion at the end of my tunnel vision this time. I’m going to see if I can’t help Applejack my way. And if all else fails…” Rarity’s grin grew. “Well, I suppose I’ll just have to call in the big guns, so to speak. If Twilight just so happened to happen upon Sweet Apple Acres in dire need of organization, I dare say she couldn’t resist. All I need to do is time it right.”
“But remember—“
“Yes, yes, I didn’t hear it from you." Rarity patted Sweetie on the head. "Don’t worry, darling. This will be very subtle, I assure you.”
Rainbow Dash considered the situation from her lounge cloud. ”So, just yelling at her to knock it off is out?”
Scootaloo nodded. “Apple Bloom already tried it.”
“Well, if Rarity’s in on it, she may end up fixing the problem before AJ even notices what’s happening. But just in case she doesn’t…” Dash grinned as she trailed off. “I know exactly what to do.”
"But remember—"
"Trust me, squirt." Dash leaned back, the plan coming together in her mind. "Subtlety is my middle name."
Dash wasn't planning on spreading her wings for this mission, but she still ran through what she thought of as a pre-flight checklist.
Robe? Check.
Magazine? Check.
Tank slippers? Check.
Accomplice?
"And remember, if they ask why I’m here, you say I’ve scheduled the most froufrou thing you can think of.”
In progress.
Lavender Essence double-checked her clipboard and wondered if it was too late to get on a ship back to the old country. “Mees Dash, yü’ve put yürself down for de Pampered Muscle Massage.”
Dash hummed to herself. “Yeah, not quite enough, is it? Say I’ve got a hooficure too. Froufrouiest one you’ve got.”
“De Indulgent package?”
“Perfect.” Dash settled herself on a couch with a perfect view of the spa's entrance.
Lavender's mouth worked silently for a moment before she said, “Mees Dash, if I may ask, why are yü doing dis?”
“Standard Pinkie Pie diversionary tactic. AJ will be laughing too much to think about going back home.” Dash gave a sheepish grin. “And, uh, I could use a little skin thickening.”
Lavender chewed her lip for a moment. Aloe and Lotus had said that Ponyville was a strange town, especially a certain half dozen mares. They had also said it was best to try to go along with the strangeness as best she could. It paid in the end, often mind-bogglingly well. “Very well, Mees Dash.”
“Thanks." Dash cracked her neck. "If this works out, it’ll be worth all the embarrassment in the world.”
Applejack chuckled at the Apples' dinner table that night. ”An’ so, turns out I was makin’ things ten times harder fer mahself than I needed to!”
Apple Bloom smirked. “Ya don’t say?”
Applejack rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, you were right, Bloom. Don’t mean you should rub it in m’ face." She gave another chuckle. "I guess I’m gonna hafta get used t’ you bein’ th’ voice o’ reason. Who’da thought?”
“Hey!” Apple Bloom’s pout only grew when Granny Smith and Big Macintosh joined in, but after a few moments, she followed suit.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- FanOfMostEverything · 3k words · 218 5 · 4.3k views
- Jordan179 · 15k words · 31 1 · 1.2k views
- LuminousR · 4.7k words · 17 1 · 834 views
- Jordan179 · 2.9k words · 19 5 · 878 views
- FanOfMostEverything · 2.6k words · 181 2 · 3.3k views
- Michael Hudson · 1k words · 33 6 · 1.2k views
- FanOfMostEverything · 2.8k words · 42 3 · 1.2k views
- ph00tbag · 6.9k words · 162 3 · 1.7k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.144 seconds
Total duration
944 users online
1,252,493 hits today, 2,244,100 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/just_as_planned_hah_2610.jpg
Apple Bloom Saves!
...But Rainbow Dash rebounds and SCORES!
Ooh, nice little weave-in.
Cool and cute, Bloomy is getting sneaky. Then again a Earth Pony who is talented in mark magic is going to be subtle. Nice little tie in, and a clever one too.
Ooh, nice job on this. Sneaky Crusaders and Big Mac!
Nëvër äpölögïzë för ümläüts.
Älsö, Bïg Mäc ïs thë rëäl ünsüng hërö. Ï äpprövë.
Intriguing idea. Are you not a fan of dash actually being into girly stuff then?
That was cute, and cunning. Nothing beats a conspiracy of sisters. Not even Applejack's stubbornness.
Thanks for the fic, FoME. This was adorablarious.
7260682
Pssshhh, please. Rainbow's usual is probably that massage Spike got back in season 5.
And then poor Rainbow Dash found out she LIKED IT.
No apple is just an apple to an Apple.
Logical.
7260809
I agree
So, what exactly DID happen to make AJ snap out of it?
7260499
In time, she became known as the Gentle Hoof of Destiny, her manipulations so skilled it was never clear whether she'd done anything at all. It is said Celestia awarded her a medal, though when, where, and what it looked like, none can say for certain.
7260643
Big Mac is the kind of pony entire sagas haven't been sung about.
7260682
Oh, I'm perfectly fine with Dash embracing her femininity. That stuff at the end of the episode? Entirely candid and sincere, even in the setting of this story. I'm just wondering when she got over her discomfort with other ponies touching her hooves.
7260907
If you haven't seen the episode yet, I won't spoil it for you.
7260975 Now I wonder what epitaphs the other two gained.
I love your ümläüts. Who doesn't love a gratuitous ümläüt or two? Silly ponies, that's who.
Fun little fic, that retroactively makes me like this episode a bit more. Sneaky Apple Bloom is a delight.
7260975 Dude, we need to start archiving your comments. Basically every time you open your mouth, there's a brilliant idea that you'll probably never capitalize on, and everyone who might usually only gets to places after your comments have been covered by everyone else.
It's a conspiracy, a conspiracy, I tells ya!
I thought RD was into the hooficures & whatnot though? Although I suppose you can't believe everything you read in the Foal Free Press...
Finally someone who hates Themis episode as mych as I do, the "lesson" was offensive and contradicted the episode, AJ learns fucking nothing, and Rarity is a manipulative prick
Basically everything everyone hates about AJ
7261119
Hmm. I'm going to have to think about this, especially given 7261320's reaction.
7261331
Yeah, the old editor-in-chief would print just about anything.
7261374
I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I didn't hate the episode. I found it disappointing, yes, but not loathsome. I also find your summary of it extremely inaccurate. Honestly, Rarity's a lot more manipulative in this story than she was there.
7261556 Just ignore MJP, I think he's just being a troll. I may be wrong and if I am I apologize, but that's what it comes across to me as him being.
7261565 Considering he's gone to the lengths of writing a scathing and tremendously inaccurate review of the Saddle Row Review on his own blog (which only about eight people will ever see), I'm more of the opinion that he honestly believes his own delusional ramblings.
7261574 Yeesh... Just yeesh. I'm half considering going to see it just to see how inaccurate it is.
Couch
This was a wonderful story and I love the idea of the CMC arranging everything. Great job!
7261556 What's sad about this episode? AJ found these outrageous fixes to problems, still does them when they are no longer needed- but her only family said nothing to her. Was it because they turned their head to it, or because they knew she would blow them off- like she did when Big Mac got injured?
7260975
The same thing she was doing as soon as she noticed her friends were nearby and she tried to maintain an image: An act.
7261556 Honestly, while I find this episode to be the weakest of the season, I had a lot of fun watching it.
There are several words I'd use to describe it but "disappointing" is not one of them.
That might be because I never have expectations when going into each episode, but still...
7260975
Either she was lying about that from the beginning, or she tried it enough times offscreen to enjoy it.
Nor should you.
Setting aside for the moment that the very word "umlaut" is awesome in a "kumquat pickle barrel" kind of way and also ignoring that English is a poorer language for not utilizing them outside of the odd loaner word, your particular usage of them here is stunning in its subtle beauty.
Oh, and I guess the story itself is pretty well written too.
I have the strangest taste for Swedish meatballs right now.
7262705 For some reason Fimfiction is a very maddening website for me.
7261608
Typo fixed so Dash is no longer sitting on Spitfire. Thanks.
7261994 7262646
Both are possibilities, and it's not like this is a critical bit of character development that we should've seen for ourselves. It's just one of those minor things that bothers me to a disproportionate degree, the narrative equivalent of a fragment of tortilla chip stuck between my teeth.
7262705
Thank yü.
7263432
...Now I want to see that used in a comedy fic, that's also not a clopfic.
Eh, fair enough.
snrk
Also, I feel like I should really watch this episode because they finally seem to have given Applejack a real flaw instead of making her the damned paragon.
It's a conspiracy I tell you!!!
Amusing story.
Minor nitpick, though: I probably would have put a separator like the others after Rainbow's last line, as well.
I came here for the chapter title. I saw the story name, and thought it just had to be...
This is fanfic offers a good answer to the question "Where in Tartarus was AJ's family during this episode, and how did they let her get so OCD?" AJ wouldn't take her little sister's concerns seriously, and Big Mac probably wouldn't say much even though he had to have noticed the problem.
7263588 What do you mean they "finally" gave her a flaw? Her stubbornness was established in her first focus episode. Not that her problem in this episode was just stubbornness, but part of it was that she got set in her ways.
7268028 I always kinda felt like they just kept showing her to be a Hard Worker rather than stubborn in a way that's actually really harmful. It felt like a Sue-ish pseudo-flaw: "oh, that AJ is just such a headstrong hard worker that she can't be made to stop no matter what! How bad that must be for her!"
Whereas now it's more like, "oh, that AJ can get so rigid that she does things the same way even when it doesn't make sense", which is more of a flaw and less of an implicit compliment.
Makes more sense than the Apples conviently being absent to take the harvest to town. And Rainbow Dash just suddenly getting over not liking ponies touching her hooves.
7269294 Well she did give several ponies food poisoning; I'd say that's pretty harmful. And there are other S1 episodes that show her flaws. But I guess I can see how her flaws weren't as obvious as those of most of the other M6.
7269294 Well, they didn't go about in the best way. If they wanted to give that Applejack that flaw, they shouldn't have made her a hypocrite by solving a problem similar to the one she had, and then lecturing about it. Hypocrisy is seldom funny.
7270953
It wasn't intentional hypocrisy, just irony played for hummor. The whole point of the episode was how you can be too close to a problem to realize it's even there, and Applejack isn't exactly the best at considering other people's perspectives. (See "Over a Barrel," "Somepony to Watch Over Me," a lot of her early interactions with Rarity, etc.)
This fic inspired me to go over to Youtube and find out exactly why Applejack's method of feeding the pigs was considered so convoluted. When I saw it, my disbelief nearly unhinged my law! How does someone get stuck in such a convoluted and inane routine in the first place?
7352717
Time, habit, and stubbornness. And, in at least one story, a slight cutie mark misalignment.
7352725 It's one thing to get stuck in a routine because it works or because it was necessary. There was no need for Applejack to do anything extra after the gate was fixed, that in and of itself solved the problem. Sure, I could buy her maybe forgetting that fact a couple of times at first and needing to be reminded of that, but everything beyond that was just making the chore needlessly complicated and convoluted and the episode expected me to find that funny.
I admit, nothing could salvage this episode in my eyes. But you made a good go of it, and at least fixed the "Rainbow at the Spa" issue. Have a fave.
Two words: THIS. WAS. BRILLIANT!