9: Chrysalis Does Interesting Things to a Sensitive Portion of Twilight's Anatomy
The air crackled around Twilight as she stepped into Spike’s cave. The amplifier in her castle let her teleport here easily—more importantly, it let her bring along several dozen research notebooks, a pallet of parchment, and enough quills to make an entire taxidermied parliament of owls.
“Spike?” Her voice echoed through the lightless cavern. She didn’t hear his snores, or the rustling of one of his dragon-sized comic books, or even the raucous beats of his in-cave sound system.
“Spike?” A shard of chitin crunched under her hoof as she stepped forward. “Spike!”
Nine rings of sparks launched from her horn, hovering into the emptiness of the cave like stars in the sky. Searchlight beams ran along the walls, illuminating nothing but black exoskeletons and glittering gems. Her dragon was gone.
“Chrysalis!” she yelled with fire in her eyes. Winds howled around her as thunderbolts crackled to her command. “What have you done with Spike!”
She heard Luna’s voice behind her. “Spike is alive and well, Twilight.” Powerful wingbeats stirred up dust around them both.
Twilight whipped around to face her, storms still gathering to defend her. “Princess, you’ve got to help me! Chrysalis has…”
“You know, I prefer queen.” Green veils fizzled around Chrysalis as her disguise dropped, Luna’s midnight blue coat giving way to unrelenting black carapace. Her dark hoof brushed back scratchy insect hair. “Did I get the mane right? It’s always tricky for me.”
Any further remarks were cut off as Twilight slammed into her and tackled her to the ground. “What did you do with my dragon!” she shouted at her pinned-down victim.
“Oh, fine. Be that way.” Chrysalis hooked Twilight’s hoof away and pulled herself up. “He’s fine, just left for some fresh air or whatever.”
Twilight jabbed a foreleg at her. “A likely story!”
Chrysalis was expressionless. “Yes. Yes, it is.”
“Like he would leave a wanted criminal alone and unguarded!”
The queen started to circle the alicorn. “Well, he did. Check for yourself, or do you need me to teach you that spell?”
Twilight sent feelers through the ley lines, casting around until she felt an immense magical presence at her castle—even from miles away, she could recognize Spike. He was safe.
He was stupid. Again.
Twilight sat down in a huff. “So. You didn’t do anything evil this time.”
Chrysalis’s gunky lips tried to imitate a smile. They failed. “See, I’m a good pony! I can be trusted on my own or with small children or in a orphan—”
Twilight glared. Chrysalis slurped away the drool that formed whenever she thought of orphans.
“What?”
Another huff from the princess. “Well, I was going to get Spike to help me take notes on your species, but I suppose I can do that myself.” As much as she hated Chrysalis, she liked scientific journals more.
Quills came to life with lilac sparks. “So, with your permission, I’d like to interview you for the latest issue of the Royal Unified Magibiological Procedural Society’s journal.”
Chrysalis looked heavenward as she mulled that over. “The RUM…”
“Don’t mention the acronym. The founder lost a bet.” Twilight refrained from mentioning that she was the founder, and the bet was with Spike. She had always had a sneaking suspicion that he’d cheated at that game of Go Fish.
Twilight felt the weight of thousands of bug eyes falling on her. “So, may we begin?”
The queen answered. “Why, whatever do you want to know about us?”
Twilight gulped. “Currently there are some holes in our…” No, no, don’t mention the holes! Could be a sensitive topic… Are they sensitive? What would it feel like if I… “Some, uh, gaps… er, I mean, missing pieces…” She hastily reshuffled her notes. “In our body. Of knowledge. Body of scientific knowledge. About your holes. I mean, bodies.”
Insects chittered. Chrysalis licked a particularly nasty-looking gash on her side. “You want to know more?” Her tongue, still green with unmentionable liquids, ran along her chapped lips. “Oh, I’d love to show you.”
“Okay. Um.” Parchments orbited Twilight’s head, moving in an elegant choreography of notetaking. “Science, yes. Let’s start with the…”
Chrysalis cut her off. “Bodily fluids, yes, let’s start there.” Ignoring Twilight’s carefully-prepared plan, she forged on. “I wish to extract a certain substance we changelings hold quite dear. With it, we will…”
Crimson blossomed on Twilight’s face as she coughed. Chrysalis came up close to her, moist tongue tasting the air. “What is it, sister-to-be? Are you ill? My drones will excrete a bed for you posthaste, and I shall…”
“No! No, I’m fine, it’s just… fluid. Ew.”
“Oh, nothing to be ashamed of. We breed with the viscous substance your kind produces so readily.”
Twilight’s incandescent blush made war with her desire to learn. “You, um… wait. So whenever you need to spawn a new drone, you need some of this… fluid?” Ink spread across her parchments. That’s not like normal insects. Given how many drones are in this chamber alone, she’d need...
A slide rule clicked as Twilight calculated. Carry the two, that’s… a lot of gallons…
Thankfully, Chrysalis diverted her from that particular line of thought. “Not all drones need to be fertilized, no. But if we wish to create a particularly nimble drone, we slather the egg in pegasus secretions.” Bits of spittle flew from her mouth at the word slather. “A strong drone, earth pony secretions, and so forth. A dragon would make for particularly glorious hatchlings.”
“Uh huh… let me just…” Twilight switched out her quill for a fresh one.
“I recall harvesting a bit from that red stallion in Ponyville ages ago. Big Mac, you called him. Oh, he was big indeed.” She smirked. “Where it counted at least. His long…”
The quill snapped in Twilight’s magic, her eyes blinking hard as she tried to clear away the images in her mind. “You, you did, you…”
“Oh, yes. Enough fluid for a dozen nymphs to wallow in.” She stretched her forelegs out. “It makes for a brilliant hooficure, by the way. I’m sure my drones will be able to give you one if you want.”
Her parchments shivered in their lilac auras as she forced herself not to think of little innocent Spike and this monster, doing acts she’d only read of in the very special part of her library, the one she never let Spike reorganize. Even the card catalogue was off-limits.
Chrysalis came closer, her breath ruffling Twilight’s mane. “Yes. It always was easier to harvest from stallions. Why, those fools love to smear it all around, don’t they?”
Twilight drew her forehooves around her, wings trying to cover her face. “You… That’s… Spike… Big Mac… Wait. Stallions are easier? Wouldn’t they be the only source of, erm, fluid?”
Chrysalis’ chitinous eyebrows cracked a little as she raised them. “Whatever do you mean? Why, even you have some delicious secretions, right there in your—” A snaking tongue sprung from the queen’s mouth and forked into Twilight’s nose “—emmm, nostrils.” It came out with a thin sheen of mucus.
Twilight recoiled, wings snapping out from her sides as she flew up. “What! Why! Ew!” Her hooves shot to her snout, probing to see if Chrysalis had planted any nefarious spores in her sinuses. “Why did you do that?”
“Only demonstrating the more aggressive means of acquiring the fluids. Mind, your cavities aren’t quite as deep as Big Mac’s, but you’ll do.”
Hooves still firmly clasped over her snout, Twilight slowly drifted back down to earth, horn flaring with a quick shield spell just in case. “You mean the…”
“I can barely hear you with those ugly hooves over your face. Maybe if you had some fashionable holes in your chitin, you could speak through them, but…”
The alicorn considered for a moment, then lowered her hooves as she kept her distance. “The secretion is—”
“Mucus, yes. Why, what fluids were you thinking of?”
“Oh. I… I… nevermindgottogo!” Hooves pounded the ground as Twilight scampered off, red cheeks bright enough to light up the room. Chrysalis coughed in the dust she had thrown up before turning to a drone by her side.
“Well, what did she expect? Blood wouldn’t suffice, and neither would saliva. Asaf, what other bodily fluids do stallions have?”
Drones are physiologically incapable of blushing, but this one did a passable imitation.
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Mucus?
My mind went elsewhere with along what I suspect everyone else's...
7284488 Hey, Chryssy's never gotten that far in her relationships before. As soon as the bedroom door closes, it's a quick love-drain and they're done.
Yeah, Cadance might want to teach her a thing or two.
HEHEHEHEHE, Everyone thought wrong about it. Twilight maybe went to Spike to see, what hell is going on! HEHEHE
In some later chapter Chrysalis is going to need to be rescued from drowning, isn't she?
....
!
Oh, I knew what you were up to, but to have Chrissy be doing it by accident? Brilliant!
*facepalm* I'm getting the feeling that Chryssie's infiltrators know a LOT more about the outside world than her...
Wow, that was a surprisingly thoughtful conversation about bodily fluids. Though I was surprised to hear that they use that particular fluid. Has Chrissy never tried the really good stuff? You know, the one actually used for reproductive purposes? You'd think that would work a lot better.
And no, I'm not talking about sweat. Though that one probably comes along with it.
You know, considering she thought males had teats, I'm not surprised she had no idea what she was implying.
7284492
Aww, that's so sad
8 months ago, if Chrysalis had used mine, all drones produced would be infected with MRSA... which at least would provide an explanation for bodies full of holes dripping green ichor everywhere...
Maybe Big Mac had a cold at the time.
Ew. Funny, but ew. I expected saliva.
My god...can I include the R.U.M.P.S. in my fanfic?
7284680 Of course! Throw in a link to this story in the author's notes!
The drones seem to know more about the outside world than Cryssy....
7284709 Yeah, she... doesn't get out much. She has a good reason.
7284459
So you're saying that Spike is some small town hick synthesizing crystal to feed his own insatiable appetites, and who can't make enough extra on the side to keep a relationship going...
Hey! Didn't HBO do a TV show about this?!
7284690 thanks!!!! Now I just need to remember how to make links
7284806 There's a button for it! It looks like a chain, and should be right next to the button you click to insert images (on the same bar as the bold, italics, etc buttons)!
7284819 I did not see that.....thanks again!!!
So how many other bets has Twilight lost with Spike? I'd love to hear about some of the other names he's come up with. Spike and Twilight should try to call each other before they miss each other like that, considering Spike is still kind of a magic cellphone.
Yeah, was expecting that kind of result. Still funny to see these kinds of... miscommunications. Though I seriously question Chrysalis' competence by now. Well, I expect Twilight's... curiosity will override the awkwardness sooner or later. Wonder how many other forms Chrysalis will go through in this story. Rarity has already kind of given permission.
I can't even. I just can't
Honestly I was expecting sweat for some reason. I was surprised it was something else.
Oh Lord, that conversation.
I imagine Cadance having a hilarious talk with Chryssie later.
"They stick their what where?!"
I like how everyone completely disregards Spike's and Chrysalis's size difference in regards to doing naughty stuff (which is even more funny because everyone else seems more perverse than the two actually getting married). Like it's something that can easily be circumvented... unlike Twilight's posterior, because R.U.M.P.S. for days!!
7285267
I mean, Chrysalis may not have been doing it on purpose, but it would be pretty hard to not take a dive into the gutter with the way she was talking. You'd need to be truly absurd levels of sheltered... kinda like Chrysalis.
...You magnificent SOB.
You actually had me going until the end there.
I really have to wonder how she even manages to stay pregnant at all.
Ok you got me, I knew it wouldn't be sperm, but really you surprised me here.
You are so innocence...little Chrysalis...
Awe. Was hoping it would be tears, but then again slathering of tears doesn't happen all that often....
Keep going! ;)
Yeah, Chyssy has definitely suffered some effects from lack of love as well. Funny though. I didn't figure out what the reveal would be but it was funny guessing.
Alright. You got me there. Probably got all of us
Then again, it would be just too easy if it was what I thought.
Chrysalis better hope that dragons do have those fluids instead of ash or just plain nothing.
With Chrissie being this..... uneducated and Twi being this posessive I am exceedingly curious on where the hell is this story heading.
I am terrified of the day that Chrysalis learns what other fluids stallions have.
That is all.
Custom orders are a tad pricey, but when you can grow gems it all balances out in the end.
7285561 From this chapter, I'm guessing she finds some poor sap suffering from the flu and offers decongestant services.
Soooo...Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings, The Great Broodmother...is technically a virgin?
I can dig it.
You know, technically speaking, despite being of a different consistency, the arousal secretions of mares/women counts as mucus...just saying.
This chapter needs a fitting song
Oh.... Our little changeling shitter has been spreading the goodness all this time..
"Hey Spike-!" Chrysalis yelled entering the room, her magic holding up a tissue as she gave Spike a saucy look. Her hips strutting forward until she reached his side. Raising her head she nibbled his fins before asking, " Can you blow your nose for me?"
( A second later. )
"NOOO! You ruined my precious fluids!" Chrysalis stomped around the room, " Who randomly gets nose bleeds like that?"
Spike rolled his eyes, " I wasn't thinking about blowing my nose. "
Not going to lie, I was with, Twilight, in the "fluids" she thought of.
7285635 Not gonna lie: what with the sex tag and all, I honestly thought it was going to be sperm. Still laughed my ass off when it turned out to be mucus, though.
Had Chryssy collected enough fluids from Twilight to make alicorn drones?
7284492 Yup.
7285441
Spike can always make another array thing to enlarge Chrysalis.
...though this brings this scary yet enticing mental image of enormous Chrysalis
So CHANGELINGS are all the sources of the hurt/comfort sickfics in the world? To romanticize illness for the harvesting of their precious bodily fluids? I knew it!
7291620 Yep, all your favorite fanfics were really written by a changeling in disguise. A very cunning disguise.
DANG IT!!!
There are no more chapters!
HSSSSS!! HSSSSS!! CHapters chapters!!