A legion of creatures that was formed to defend the land from threats has begun to break apart. Some wish to continue the old ways, others wish to change with the times, others want a compromise, and one just wants to be a thorn in everyone else's side. Time for debate is running out, as an ancient threat begins to shake itself free from its ten thousand year prison. What's worse the beast has learned from its mistakes, and now has agents of its own carrying out is will. Now with cracks formed in the Order of Eclipse when it must be at its strongest will it be able to survive, or at least finish a fight that was been ten millennium over due? Or will the Orders dying breaths be synchronized with the rest of their world?
One shot stories in same universe:
Cruel Mercy
Open my Present First it's a Mommy
I fixed your story's thumbnail summary. Replace it with this.
Also fixed your story summary. Replace it with this.
They chose tardition, I see.
7242236
Many thanks to you comrade for your assistance.
I ask you would you care to help me, and proof read a Fallout Equestria story?
7242796 It is not a one Chapter stand alone Comrade
MOOOOOOOOREEEE this is so good and so epic
8215719
It is coming, but it takes a while I only have 900ish words for the next chapter.
8215722
that's faster than me I tried to right a story once 157 or so words in a month ... yah
8215727
It’s been about a month and a half, I’ve been focusing to much on Emperor Despair I’ll need to give this one some more love.
8215730
wellp hope you have a good day then
8215731
Ditto.
8215731
Which chapter did you like the best and why?
8216198
too hard to chous all of them are soo good
Sorry for taking so long to get this done.
This review is brought to you by the group, “A for Effort.”
Name of Story: Order of Eclipse
Total Score: 6.5/10
Pros:
It seems like quite an interesting concept. There is a good usage of show and tell. Dialogue is on point. Pacing is good.
Cons:
There are some problems with grammar. Some parts don't flow as well as they could. Confused with characters at some points. Could be written better for easier reading.
Additional notes:
This story can be pretty good, but needs a bit of work. I personally liked it and might read more of it, eventually. It can develop into something great, when you keep the cons I listed in mind. I'd recommend getting it edited. That would help improve it a lot. I look forward to reading the rest.
Happy writing!
8338272
Merci beaucoup, do you know any editors?