On a beautiful morning that seemed like any other normal morning in Ponyville, Twilight Sparkle receives some news from Rainbow Dash regarding a large army of changelings. But this time, however, they do not want to destroy and kill.
Im from the Netherlands!!!! 16 Years and counting. I'm a: Writer, Artist and Gamer. and Rainbow Dash is the best!! im also a beginning music producer working together with mr reader.
On a beautiful morning that seemed like any other normal morning in Ponyville, Twilight Sparkle receives some news from Rainbow Dash regarding a large army of changelings. But this time, however, they do not want to destroy and kill.
Ooh! You need help with descriptions! That's about it.
It's a fun idea, but I can't really see what's going on in my mind's eye when I read, and I have a really, really vivid imagination.
Okay, so, a game: try describing a picture, and then I'll expand it, and let's see if the picture matches the description. I'll go first. I just have to explain this picture: https://derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/9/29/731901__safe_oc_magic_love+heart_changeling_telekinesis_goggles_steampunk_artist-colon-ende26_changeling+queen.png
Bonus points if the mental picture is more vivid than the picture.
Huh, interesting start.
I hope Chryssie is alright, though.
7468609 well.... spoilers below:
not going to tell it yet.. sorry.. XD
7467751 wow... that's impressive what you do there. well.. my English isn't very good.. okay.. I know simple English which is enough to write a story like this but the words you're using are... yeah.. a bit too complicated...
I'm from holland and I learned my English from an American friend which I skype and chat with, and I learn a lot of English from that. and I learned a lot of English from games and movies.
I would really like to learn a lot more complicated English but I'm working on it!
and I changed the description a bit (my editor gave me some advice)
And... I hope you enjoyed the story!
7469794
Oh, no, your English is pretty good. It’s actually better than many other writers' I've seen in this site. I can understand not knowing a few words though.
To be honest, I don't think being able to describe a scene depends solely on your experience with the language, especially if you can look translations up. Then again, I've never tried writing a story in another language.
Changelings following Twilight's commands? This could be interesting.
*grabs video camera* Better get these on the files, just in case...
i thought twilight would've told a changeling to tell her why they're here. still i like the mystery.
7469780 Oh, you sneaky bastard...
More please
Dialogue is a good thing. But narrator's speech... should be enriched.
Also: where are the promised chapters? Should we await?.. Maybe.