Chapter 1

Author's Note:

Thanks to my (as always) amazing editor for editing this story!

have fun!

I got this story idea from Phoenix Nebula a while ago and decided to write it down.

Changeling Queen

It was a nice day in Ponyville. The sun was shining and a pleasant breeze was flowing through the treetops.

Twilight Sparkle woke up when the sunlight came through her window and shone in her face. She smiled as she sat up. It was already shaping up to be a beautiful day. After stretching out a bit, she looked to Spike’s bed, like she normally did every morning. However, she noticed that Spike wasn’t in his bed.

“Good morning Spi…. Spike? SPIKE?!?”

She didn't get a reply.

She called again. “SPIKE?!? WHERE ARE YOU?!?”

Still no reply.

“Hmm.. That's weird… Usually I'm the one who wakes up early,” Twilight said. She stepped off of her bed and trotted over to Spike's bed to check if Spike was there. But there was no sign of her dragon being near.

She trotted over to the door of the bedroom and opened it… Still no sign of Spike. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself before trotting downstairs. And, to her amazement, she found Spike sitting at the table with fresh made food in front of him.

“Hey Twilight! I made us some breakfast!”

Twilight gawked at the breakfast. It was about two times the size of what she normally makes, and looked perfect. “Wow, this looks amazing!”

“It took me 2 hours to make!” Spike said, taking a bite of food.

Twilight smiled. “Wow, thanks Spike! I hope it tastes as good as it smells and looks!”

Twilight sat down on the chair at the table with the freshly prepared breakfast. She put some food in her mouth and noticed the food was perfectly prepared.

“Wow Spike! This food is amaz---”

Suddenly a cyan blue Pegasus burst through the door and quickly closed it behind her. Twilight recognised that rainbow mane in a split second.

“Rainbow Dash? Couldn't you knock before entering?”

“Uhmm… Knocking on doors can wait.. We have an issue that's slightly more important than knocking on doors now…” Rainbow replied, a hint of urgency in her voice.

Twilight raised her eyebrows out of confusion.

“And what may that issue be?”

“I recommend you to take a look outside of the window”

Just as Rainbow said, Twilight trotted over to the window and took a look outside.

Once she had looked out the window, she walked backwards very slowly. Then, she turned around with a surprised and frightened look on her face.

“Yeah... I told you this kinda was a big issue...” Rainbow said, rubbing the back of her neck.

“CHANGELINGS!?!?!”

“Yup...” Rainbow replied

“WHAT ARE ALL THOSE CHANGELINGS DOING IN FRONT OF MY CASTLE?!?”

“Don't ask me that. I also just figured out they were here.”

“But how.. Why are.. th.. a… cha….. What is happening?!?!”

“Maybe you should ask them?”

“ASK THEM?!? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!?” Twilight yelled, starting to panic.

“What? What's wrong with asking them?”

“Those are some of the most dangerous creatures ever!” Twilight informed.

“I know.. but have you seen them burning stuff in the past few hours?” Rainbow asked, raising a brow.

“Uhmm... No...” Twilight replied.

“Have you seen them stealing stuff In the past few hours?”

“No...”

“Have you seen them changing into other ponies in the past few hours, then?”

“Still no...”

“Well then,” said Rainbow Dash, “they don't seem too bad or terrifying now…”

“But they’re changelings!” Twilight replied.

“Maybe they’re sorry or something? It looks like they don't want to harm anyone now.”

“Okay… Okay… I'll ask them why they are here,” Twilight said. She trotted over to the window from where she saw the changelings. Twilight opened the window and stuck her head outside.

Suddenly, as if time froze, they all became silent and focussed their gaze on the alicorn who just opened the window.

Twilight spoke up: “Uhmm… Hello?”

They all responded the same time: “Good morning our mighty queen!”

“Queen?” Twilight said while she turned around and looked at Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash looked confused.

“All praise our Queen!”

“Queen?” Twilight reacted confused

“Well… there is only one way to test if they obey you...” Rainbow Dash replied.

“How?”

Rainbow rolled her eyes “Duh… give them a command and see if they listen and do what you say!”

“Okay. Uhmm... I can't think of anything…”

“Ahww.. Common, Twi! I have loads of work for them to do! Get me some of the good Apple family apple cider!”

“You aren't our queen! we only obey our queen!” The changelings replied.

Rainbow gave an angry look in Twilight's direction.

“Okay... Okay! I'll do it!” Twilight responded. “Get me some Apple family cider!” She ordered.

“Yes our great queen!” The changelings replied. They disappeared within seconds.

“We’ll see if they come back...”

After a few minutes the Changelings returned with a barrel of cider, just as Twilight commanded.

Suddenly, Spike spoke up. “May I finally know what's going on now?”

Twilight looked at the changelings. “Well… I think these changelings went completely crazy…”

Spike replied, confused. “And what's wrong with them doing what you command?”

Twilight glanced at him, uncertain. “I'm not sure if their intentions are good.”

“Ahww.. common Twilight! They do everything you say!”

“That's nice, but I'm not letting them in my castle.”

Suddenly, Applejack came through the doors, completely exhausted. She quickly closed the door behind her with an anxious look on her face.

“What are all those Changelings doin’ outside!?!”

“Well.. I'm not sure yet.. but they are doing what I order them to do,” Twilight replied.

“Did ya order them to plunder our farm and steal our cider?”

“Did they really do that?!?” Twilight replied with a shocked look on her face.

“Yup!”

“That wasn't exactly what I meant them to do.”

“What do ya mean with 'meant them to do’?”

“Yeah.. Long story…”

“But can ya tell me the short version then?”

“Okay.. This morning I woke up and Spike…”

~(.....)~

“...And that's what happened.”

more chapters coming.

thanks to Just A Random Pegasus for editing this story.

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ArtichokeLust

ArtichokeLust #1 · Aug 10th, 2016 · · ·

Ooh! You need help with descriptions! That's about it.

It's a fun idea, but I can't really see what's going on in my mind's eye when I read, and I have a really, really vivid imagination.

Okay, so, a game: try describing a picture, and then I'll expand it, and let's see if the picture matches the description. I'll go first. I just have to explain this picture: https://derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/9/29/731901__safe_oc_magic_love+heart_changeling_telekinesis_goggles_steampunk_artist-colon-ende26_changeling+queen.png

Despite what many ponies thought, there was far more than just Chrysalis' hive lurking behind the friendly faces of seemingly normal Equestrians. No, there were many, many hives.
Now, several things set these hives apart. You could say each hive had its own 'gimmic', or it's own take on what love was. For Patina's hive, that gimmic was creation, specifically technological creation.
At present, Patina herself was working on a device that would extract the creative love that flowed from the entrepeneurs and inventors around them. The device, mounted on a pedestal in the center of the room, which the queen herself continually poked and prodded with her screwdriver, was much like the crystal heart, if only the crystal heart were made of plates of bronze.
To get a better look, Patina lifted her mechanical leg to her face and pushed her goggles up, pushing her bronze hair back with it. With that done, she continued tinkering with her heart, letting the time fly by as she stood there in her bronze warehouse.
Beside Patina was a circular hatch. It was always left open, because she always welcomed company. That's why she started smiling when she heard the hoofsteps of one of her drones. She wasn't sure which one it was, but he was carrying some of the parts she needed, so it was a good drone.
"My queen." The drone said as it levitated the cardboard box of gears and pipes towards Patina.
"Oh, quit it with the formality," Patina said softly, her eyes still on the machine in front of her. "we're not in public. Just call me by my name... What is your name drone?"
The drone perked up. He was obviously still getting used to Patina's kind treatment. "Differential, my que--"
Patina only smiled.
Throughout the entire exchange, patina could never peel her eyes from the mechanical heart in front of her. After all, she was filled to the brim with the love of creation.

Bonus points if the mental picture is more vivid than the picture.

Razzy

Razzy #2 · Aug 10th, 2016 · · ·

Huh, interesting start.

I hope Chryssie is alright, though.

RainbowdashieCloudsdale

RainbowdashieCloudsdale #3 · Aug 10th, 2016 · · ·

7468609 well.... spoilers below:

not going to tell it yet.. sorry.. XD

RainbowdashieCloudsdale

RainbowdashieCloudsdale #4 · Aug 10th, 2016 · · ·

7467751 wow... that's impressive what you do there. well.. my English isn't very good.. okay.. I know simple English which is enough to write a story like this but the words you're using are... yeah.. a bit too complicated...

I'm from holland and I learned my English from an American friend which I skype and chat with, and I learn a lot of English from that. and I learned a lot of English from games and movies.

I would really like to learn a lot more complicated English but I'm working on it!

and I changed the description a bit (my editor gave me some advice)

And... I hope you enjoyed the story!

ArtichokeLust

ArtichokeLust #5 · Aug 10th, 2016 · · ·

7469794

Oh, no, your English is pretty good. It’s actually better than many other writers' I've seen in this site. I can understand not knowing a few words though.

To be honest, I don't think being able to describe a scene depends solely on your experience with the language, especially if you can look translations up. Then again, I've never tried writing a story in another language.

Doctor Tex