Starlight's Super Edgy Rock Band

In her quest for friendship, Starlight decides to start a rock band of sorts.

A REALLY SUPER EDGY ROCK BAND!

And surprisingly, Twilight is ok with that.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 5 )

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The Bricklayer

The Bricklayer #1 · May 20th, 2016 · 1 · ·

Not half bad, though I do think it could have been longer.

Heyah

Heyah #2 · May 20th, 2016 · · ·

7230435 Yay! I'm glad you liked it!

chillbook1

chillbook1 #3 · May 20th, 2016 · 2 · ·

This is a decently funny idea with a fair bit of potential, but it seems as if you didn't capitalize on it. The perspective bothers me, but that is quite possibly a personal preference of mine. My biggest issue is that there's not a lot of content here. Normally, the issue is that the story goes straight for the punchline, or the set up is so excessive that the punchline loses heft. The issue here is the exact opposite: there's not enough set up or punchline. I feel that if you added more meat and potatoes to the story, it could be great.

But that's just my humble opinion.

EDIT: I thought about it a bit, and I've decided to do something rather odd. I'm going to dislike the story, but give you a follow. I'm curious of how you'll improve, so I'll keep my eye on you.

Heyah

Heyah #4 · May 20th, 2016 · · ·

7230539 Thanks for the follow. I'm always looking for a way to improve! I'm definitely going to be editing this story, and might even come up with an entirely different way to use this idea.